U cant worry about what others think ... there is no rule set in stone saying something like: 1 month for each year (sounds ridiculous doesn't it ... I think so) I say u will know when u are ready until then just go out with friends and have fun with life. Your husband would not want u suffering any more than u already have. If a date comes out of it that would be great. Just my two cents. Another piece of advice that u may know already but I will say it anyway :) Some peoples advice may just be given to you at the wrong time in your life. So I like to say take it or leave it but it is given with the best of intentions.

Saraj, I am so sorry for your loss. I have not had this experience, but I do know that you must allow yourself to go through the grieving process in all its phases. As someone else here said, you cannot skip grief, you have to walk right through it. I would strongly recommend that you call your local hospital to find out about grief counseling, whether individual or group. You reached out for help here, and that's wonderful, but you should also reach out for professional help which will benefit both you and your children. Family and friends' support is helpful too. Again, I am so sorry, and my heart aches for you and your children as well. Post back and let us know how you are doing. Susan

I don't care for any of the paint samples on the walls. They only highlight the pink tones in the paneling by being so gold or brown/gold. I also wouldn't do burgundy, as you have so much of it already in the room. I would first consider finding a color that is the same as the background color in the paneling - a soft creamy ivory tone, and just use that. The entry area feels kind of dark and closed, so a light color there would work. I would then take the same paint and paint all the ceilings, both in the entry and the living room. The white ceiling only works to make the walls look even more pinky-peach in contrast. By painting out the ceiling in the paneling background color, you will lessen that considerably. I would get a larger area rug for the entry, something with a creamy field and burgundy accents, which again will tie into the LR but keep the entry lighter in feel. I believe I see a cabinet of some kind in the entry area where the coats are? Be sure you have a lamp there for some warm lighting for the entry. I would take the four small flower pix on the paneled wall in the LR and hang them in the entry in a grouping. I would change out the mats to a neutral, to show off the flowers themselves - you don't even see them in the burgundy matting. The frames are fine. By bringing some of the burgundy onto that entry wall, you will introduce the burgundy color in the entry that will then lead the eye into the LR. I would take the larger piece in burgundy matting and use that over the fireplace - having two pieces of art on that fireplace wall that are matted in green kind of makes it feel like you were trying to match the art, but they are not hanging together so it feels disconnected. I would take all those balls out of the tall vases on the fireplace and puit them in a bowl somewhere - they are lost in those vases. Then find some tall, fountain-like grasses and greens to put in the vases for softness. It seems like you have so many great family photos. I would have them all framed in complimentary frames and use the large paneled sections behind the couch to hang them in a striking grouping. By using those instead of the burgundy matted collection, you will stop highlighting the color of the paneling, and instead will have a varied grouping of photos that will become the focal point. I would also move the photo screen and tuck it in a corner or near something so it doesn't feel like it is just floating in the room by itself. I love the little chest you have by the entry, but I don't like it there. It is heavy and dark, and feels like a barricade to the front door area. I would remove that and leave that entry open. Maybe you could move it over to the other side to where the little green bench is now? Try to get some pillows for the couches that are creamier in their background color, to lighten the feel of those pieces. They could still have a print or a stripe, but should have a lighter overall background that brings in the wall color. Something like this, tho this particular pillow may not be right, but the idea of a lighter background is the key. crewel pillows I don't see much ambient lighting in the room - at least in the views we have, only one lamp on an end table, and that is too small. Put that lamp on the little chest that I had you move over to the other side of the room. Get a bigger lamp for that table, perhaps another lamp to sit on the sewing machine (I think) that is behind the couch acting as a console table. More lighting located lower and that is warmer will also affect how the paneling is perceived, and will keep the eye more focused into the center of the room and away from the walls. I think your room has lots of wonderful things going for it. Settling the entry will help, and then tweaking the LR space and its accessories will make it all feel finished and cohesive.

Good wishes for these difficult days, Linda ... may you remember and be thankful for all of the good times and good years together. God grant grace and peace in your heart sufficient for these days: you are a capable, strong woman and will find your way through all that needs to be done. I'm offering some prayers on your behalf, and for others who loved your husband. ole joyful