I don't deal well with with losses like that, and so I do understand your numbness and send you my condolence. I lost a lot of friends who were in the 30s and 40s, and so by now I am beginning to feel that reaching 60 is adequate, but I know that is wrong. One friend in his 40s died suddenly of a brain aneurysm while I was in the middle of preparing an astrological reading for him. When I noticed that he had a very exact Mars-Uranus conjuction in the 8th House (Death), I called him to set up an appointment to warn him to be careful when he had transits of that conjuction, as it could mean a sudden unexpected death. I only got his voice mail, and then he left a voice mail for me the day before he died. I kept that message for a long time. Anyway, I really feel for your loss. Lars

Don't know if I can be much help but I lost my very special husband in 1985. Kissed me goodbye & went to work, I found myself at a hospital that afternoon, waiting only to finally have someone come in & say, I'm sorry, do you have a mortician(at least that is all I heard)So my trip has been long,24 years. He had a coronary & died instantly. We had 15 yr old DD & 17 yr DS.It was like being put on a stage & handed a script & told you had to play the part. Nothing was real until after everyone left. I had visited a lot of elderly people from church & knew what happened to some of them. They very nearly "crawled in a hole"(under the cover in bed) 1 lady had newspapers all over the yard, shades or curtains drawn, didn't look like anyone home, we had turned to leave when she opened the door. She told me that was the 1st connection to the world she had found since her hubby had died, our visit gave her courage to get out. I remembered that & told myself, what if he were sitting here, would he want to see me crying, would he be torn apart to see me like this, so I just put him in the picture when the going got rough. He was always supportive & loving, we didn't fight in the 22 years we were together because we didn't want to hurt each other. We did have I think 6 times we were silent when each of us thought we were right. Those few times ended with us talking it over & deciding together what to do. I did lot of locking myself out of house(carried extra car & house keys in my purse) ran washer without any clothes in it, couldn't spell 4-5 letter words, couldn't look them up as "when" didn't seem to compute in my brain. I'd write woo, woen,just couldn't write small words. Eventually that stopped but it will start up again for short periods when someone close dies. I carry extra $20 in case I forget gas in my car. I learned to do a lot of compensating. I learned that I could stay in bed 1 day if it was rainy or very cold but then I must get up & fix myself some hot choc., read a book, listen to favorite music, couldn't let it continue into the night. I had to have very good reason for that day off. Rest of time when I wanted to "disappear" I forced myself out to a strip mall to watch people leaving the grocery store, did small errand to get it done & not feel useless, maybe just dropping letters off at post office. If things got bad I called my bro. & he listened & that was a great help. I had people wanting me to pay for headstones when I hadn't ordered 1. I got cheated by ins. company as they didn't leave me amount on their letterhead so I wrote it down & had him sign it but they told me I was wrong,lost about $500 on that. Got so I only cried when something good happened. So have a trusted friend or relative as a witness to anything legal you have to do. Time passed & I kept busy. People think widows have all kinds of time!! Right, I had to do all things I always had & what he did also. Putting gas in car was very upsetting, I had never done it. I had handled the bills & such so didn't have to learn that. My kids left home & after a few years, with some wandering & number of jobs, they are great kids(they felt pretty lost, too)Am I over it after 24 yrs??? No, most days I just think of him several times, lovely memories, but seeing a couple holding hands, leaning on each other, I feel cheated out of that. I'm very grateful we had 24 wonderful years together & hope someday to see him waiting for me.Good Luck folks, the pain & rawness does get better & the memories are sweet & worth holding on to & will get you through.

So sad to hear about a new diagnosis. She is very fortunate to have a caring friend. YES, under the circumstances, she will need assistance with the myriad design decisions of an extensive remodel. Is she the chef in the family? Do either of them cook extensively? Those answers will determine the need for a KD. If the GC is well known, they should be able to provide the names of potential designers. Your concern is well founded. Was diagnosed with late stage in January. We moved into our custom 'forever' home last August. Just attempting to select a small number of interior and exterior decor items was challenging. And frankly, there is the aspect of wanting to finish what you've started. All the best, with a recurrence she will need an ear and a shoulder.

Sorry that you lost that important, if seldom seen, friend, (((((Sue))))). It is hard to lose our friends ... and as we get older they, sort of like teeth, get fewer and fewer. A while ago I found that I wanted to keep my enhanced driver's licence ... not that I figured to drive a truck, really, but one wants to hang on to the privileges, I think. I was thinking that one sort of feels the walls closing in, and one wants to keep pushing them back, as long/much as possible. The other day I drove a friend to his brother's ex-wife's funeral ... along with that brother. She was somewhat younger, and they'd been friends, so he found that losing her troubled him somewhat. He told me that I shouldn't die for at least 20 years ... that he didn't want to have to grieve over me (a fairly recently acquired friend). So, I told him ... "You want to stick me with grieving over you, then, is that it?"! Life do have its problems!