Time will help, I promise. When I was pregnant with my 2nd baby, my cousin Melonie was pregnant with her 2nd also. Her baby was stillborn, due to the cord wrapped around his neck. That happened in October, and my baby was born the next April. At our family reunion on Independence Day, she hid out in the house upstairs and never came down to see my new baby - at the time, I was really hurt but trying to understand - so I didn't make a fuss or hold a grudge. She was fine the next year, and in fact, has since had another baby. Then my 4th pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage, and I got a taste of that kind of regret and sadness myself - but I never directed any unhappiness or resentment toward anyone else - it's just a period of sadness. I think sometimes it just feels too raw - but your daughters are closer than me and my cousin, and I don't think it will take as long for them to move on. Blessings to you and them, Sis

I've never been to this forum before - just stumbled on your post. You sound like a real roll your sleeves up kind of guy. If you can prove some sort of steady income and you look really hard you could probably find an old ramshackle place that no one else wants. In that case the owner may be willing to finance it. I have done that three times so far. 12 acres, then 23 acres, then 1 acre (I'm downsizing since the kids are gone). Had to do all of our own plumbing, electric, sheet rock, etc. My children helped clear land with out the help of tracktors and so forth - we didn't have the money for all of that. Yes, it was hard. It was also worth it. Plenty of our own land to do what we wanted on. Payments as low as $300 a month. You do need a good attorney to make sure that your sale and closing are all in your best interest. I have purchased all of mine with no money down. When I look for property I look for the following: Outside city limits - no city taxes No zoning restrictions - nobody telling me what do do Well water - No water bill WORKING well - water is the one thing you can't do without I heard an old man say one time " You gots your wants and you gots your needs". Your family needs warmth, shelter, and food. Doesn't mean it has to be a turn-key house. And one day a good parcel of land may be something you can pass on to them. Don't give up!

Heat continues to show here too! Fall is not here yet, but I can that cooler weather will be here in a few weeks. I just checked one of the winter predictions and due to a forming la nina, they are expecting a slightly warmer than average winter for the mid atlantic and northeast with near normal snowfall (which means much less than last winter), But they did say winter would start early before a break in the cold mid winter. They said the midwest will have much more snow than usual but I'm not sure if they said you would also be colder than usual. So I guess fall will be around average when it comes so the extreme heat should be gone by late september here. Good luck! Enjoy the heat while its here!!! -Alex

I hear a lot of whining, blaming, and making excuses why it's everyone else's fault or not doable. "Not everyone can afford daycare - if I'd had to pay after school daycare for a couple of kids at $200 a month each, it wouldn't have been worth working." If you can't afford $200 a month, I venture to say you wasted your time & money on two graduate degrees. I can afford $200 a month (because that's about what it cost me in fuel to go pick up my step daughter after school everyday when she went by her mom's house) I agree that not everyone can afford daycare, but there are also subsidized programs for low income and single parents. When they get to 13+, they can usually be home alone. I'm not sure many 13+ year olds would want to have a babysitter. Isn't part of being a parent, figuring these things out as you go? If it means taking a more flexible job like TOS or working more & hiring help like KKNY, we do what we have to do. When I was a single parent, I couldn't (or chose not to because I had job security there) change jobs so I found a house near where I worked. I could run home on my breaks if I needed to. The school was just down the street if I got a call to pick someone up. When they were able to, they went to after care and when they got too old, they came home and I monitored what was going on by calling or coming home on my lunch and breaks. I could have lived in a nicer house in a nicer neighborhood but further away from work and it would have been harder to be as involved as I was. It's all about choices. "And then what -- even if you pick up the kids after school, they have less flexibiltiy re after school activities, their school friends are 10 miles away." When my stepdaughter was going to school 28 miles away from us, she was in taekwondo with her mom. On my husbands weeks, I would take her. I'd pick her up from school, hang out window shopping or running errands for an hour (sometimes take her to the park or work on her homework while we waited) and take her to her taekwondo class which was near her school & mom's house. She also was in girl scouts and karate where DH and I live. She made friends there too so she had friends by her mom's house and dad's house. I didn't realize that kids were only allowed to make friends in ONE area.... hmmm. Like I said, if you want it to work, you can make it work. IF TOS has two degrees and can earn more, she may be able to afford a babysitter/daycare or she may choose to take a lower paying job that has flexibility. You choose what works for you, just as I chose to live near my job.