Poor kids. No telling what is going on in that family, but you can bet it isn't good.

I think that's a form of child abuse, poor kids. They have no control over their nutrition at that age, that father just wants his kids to be like he is. I'm sure those boys don't have an easy life at school what with bullying of fat kids and all.

I wouldn't jump to conclusions here. Perhaps they just buried the mother? Or some other reason that caused the sadness and the possibilities are endless. It's too bad they were sad, but I really wouldn't assume on this one.

And while yes the kidding and teasing does go on in schools and elsewhere, to say the father "wants his kids to be like he is" is pretty presumptuous and naive. Does he know better? Do they have medical conditions? Again there can be a lot of reasons. Maybe they're divorced and they don't like living with skinny mom and don't want to leave their dastardly father? Again, endless possibilities but I find it hard to believe, nay impossible to believe the father sits and schemes I'm gonna make my boys as fat or fatter than ME! BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Good grief Charlie Brown.

You are talking out of your azz on this one, Cynic. I see it over and over again. Perhaps the father doesn't "sits and schemes I'm gonna make my boys as fat or fatter than ME! BWAHAHAHAHA!!! " but he certainly knows what he is doing by feeding those morbidly obese children huge bowls of ice cream!!!!

Children learn from the example set for them by their parents. This situation is a prime example. I cannot tell you how many morbidly obese FAMILIES I see in my neck of the woods. And, no, they don't all have thyroid deficiencies. Give me a break!

Marie, I have seen similar situations as well. I know that if I consume large quantities of high carbohydrate foods I am miserable. Tired, depressed, no energy.....that is probably what the kids are going thru, and dad as well. I wonder if they have had their blood glucose checked. Poor kids, sounds like they are ticking time bombs for a host of health issues.

Cynic, of course the father knows better. We are all bombarded with nutrition information. As for medical conditions--what medical condition is improved by Cold Stone?

You are right about jumping to conclusions, though. We do not know what burdens strangers carry. So we should not judge, but we can be sympathetic when we see obviously difficult situations.

lynn, you brought up an interesting point. Kids don't generally have their blood glucose checked. Maybe this is a way to help families deal with obesity. It would have to be mandatory across the board or not so there is no suspicion of singling out certain kids or parents.

After I posted that I realized that I forgot to finish my thoughts on this. We really don't know what was happening in their lives. This might be the first holiday without mom, or it may be the 5th, 6th or who knows....and this was a tradition they shared with her each year. Or ir might be that they just lost a loved one, or dad lost his job.....any number of things. But no matter the reason, I am with Marie, I feel sorry for that family...

All the years I was in retail I saw firsthand how sad a time of year this is for so many. People are sad. People get grouchy. Suicide rates go up. There's so much pressure to keep up with the Jones', buy, buy, buy and more. Many can't keep up with it. Depression runs high. Selfishness reigns. Pressures galore. Layoffs happen and the ones working seasonal know they're going to lose jobs. It's sad that people are put under such needless pressure. Society needs to rethink its priorities.

"that father just wants his kids to be like he is" Yeah maybe I'm talking out of it but you're talking like one with such an assinine comment. sleeperblues you clearly have issues. Scared by a fat person sometime in your life? Fat person divorced you or something? Whatever it is, here's hoping you come to grips with whatever haunts you this holiday season.

Judge not lest you be judged.

My "issues" with obesity have nothing to do with personal situations. "Scared by a fat person sometime in my life"? You bet, everytime I put one to sleep. The morbidity and mortality increases dramatically with obesity and anesthesia.

I look around at the American society today and am appalled by the massive amounts (no pun intended) of morbidly obese people I see. We stopped at Sam's club after returning from Europe this past summer and it was definite culture shock. And the rest of the world is laughing at us.

The father in the original post didn't get that way because he was depressed about the holiday season. He may be depressed, or not. Maybe he likes the way he is. I still think it's child abuse.

It's very presumptuous of you to assume I am walking around with demons because I feel that way. WTH did you come up with that one?

I sometimes think parents with morbidly obese kids feed them junk because they want to be a hero. What kid doesn't like ice cream, candy, soft drinks, or fast food? Do you want to mean parent who forces your kids to eat a healthy kid at home? Or would you rather see a happy kid surrounded by junk food? I know parents who absolutely will not fight their kids to eat healthy. These kids have eaten such a steady stream of junk that they feel denied when they don't get it.

I was an overweight kid. My parents and brother were all thin. I think it's tricky with kids. Even when parents have their best interests at heart, it can still be damaging to deny them. I'm not saying parents should load the kids up with crap food just because they want it. Not at all. I just think you have to be careful about it.

My brother was stick-thin and he would eat junk food all the time, and my mom would tell me I couldn't eat it because it would make me even fatter. Similarly when my friends would eat junk food, she would tell me the same thing. And at my young age, I didn't see it as her trying to keep me healthier but rather I wasn't good enough for the treats that everyone else gets to enjoy. I didn't understand what adults understand about nutrition, calories, fat. I didn't understand the correlation between what I eat and how I look. I just knew I wasn't allowed to have it and everyone else was, and it was hurtful. It wasn't about the food itself but how I was made to feel about it.

Perhaps it's different if the whole family eats poorly but I still carry around insecurities and food issues because of it, 20 years later. I understand now that my parents were trying to protect me but I didn't then. I'm all for families eating healthy, being active, together.

I just don't like blanket judgments. Believe me, that parent and those kids are used to being stared at and judged. I remember it vividly. Food is a very real addiction, just as powerful as tobacco or alcohol, and it's not as simple as saying "oh the parents should know better." We all know better yet most people are overweight. I would bet every single overweight person on this forum KNOWS that they need to eat healthy and exercise to lose weight yet they are still overweight. It's not easy.

With all due respect, unless you have been obese yourself, you have no idea what it's like. You don't know what it's like to have food dominate your life. To schedule your life around your next meal. To be genuinely happy when you remember the feast you are planning for that night. You can empathize, sure, but you can't truly understand.

Unless you've been staring at needing 100+ pound weight loss, you don't understand how all-encompassing the despair can be. When you look in the mirror and realize how much work it's going to be. It's depressing to realize how out of control you've spiraled and the only source of comfort to many is more food. It's not about being too lazy to do it. It's knowing you're going to have to work so hard for so long to drop all the weight and it's overwhelming, leading to self-medication of food. Especially if you start a diet and lose a pound or two, and realize how hard you've worked and how long you'll have to keep doing it to see the benefit. Combining that with taking away the one source of constant happiness (food) and it's a very difficult formula for many people. Most people don't WANT to be obese.

People who have never struggled with their weight to that extent cannot possibly understand it. To them, it's cut and dry. Don't eat so much. Don't sit around so much. It's really easy to judge, and be appalled, and laugh at these people who are struggling. To be sickened as you watch a 400 pound man diving into a cheeseburger.

I believe parents who feed their kids poorly do so because it's what they eat. You can't eat one thing and tell your kid they can't have it as well. And that comes back to the addiction. Everyone knows what you should and shouldn't eat. If it were easy, everyone would be healthy and fit.

I just don't get why people treat smoking, drug and alcohol abuse as addictions but people who eat too much are treated as disgusting and lazy and lacking all will power. There is a HUGE psychological component to overeating that few people recognize.

I weighed 225# in fifth grade. I was made fun of continuously from as early as I can remember until I figured out how to lose weight in high school. I, too, came from a thin family where I was even bullied by my older brother and his cute friends. I had no safe haven. My most horrific memory from junior high school was hiding in a locker because I didn't want to go out for recess and having everyone ignore me because I was fat and ugly. Guess what, the lock stuck and I was trapped in the locker until the janitor had to cut me out. Imagine being known as the kid who was so fat she got stuck in a locker. That horrific tale was embellished on and followed me throughout high school.

So don't tell me I don't know what it feels like to be obese--I lived it. Don't tell me I'm not empathetic because I am. Cynic felt the need to jump all over me because I said that Dad wanted his kids to be just like him. Well, Cynic, who would know better than me? When you're fat, you want everyone else around you to be fat so you don't feel so bad about yourself. I think that's part of reason we have the obesity epidemic we have today.

Do I have issues? You bet I do. And you can bet I went to my reunion looking as hot as I could. Funny thing was, some of those popular girls didn't look so good.

Oh, so I guess I do have demons. You were right about that one.

Many, many years ago I baby sat a little boy (about 5 years old) who had been diagnoses with leukemia. He had to be on high doses of Prednisone and it made him look fat.
One day when he had had a tough day we went to the market for his mom....he asked for a candy bar. He had been undergoing lots of testing so I felt like he deserved one.
As I was buying it a man rudely told me the kid was too fat and I had no business buying him candy.
He didn't know the entire story and made a quick judgement.
After a year long battle, Dougie died. I was glad I gave him a few moments joy by getting him the candy bar.
This was in the late 1950's and the treatment options were limited.

I wasn't referring specifically to you sleeperblues. How would I know if you've been obese or not? I would never make an assumption like that either way.

My point was that it's often the ones who have never struggled with their weight who make the judgments and call them lazy or undisciplined, etc. without really understanding that there are multiple factors behind overeating. I still believe it's impossible for people to truly understand if they haven't been there before.

And I didn't think you were, Chi. I just wanted to fill in the blanks. Sorry if it sounded like I was mad at you.

No worries, thanks for clearing it up.

Possibly the kids were mad they were only given two scoops of ice cream when they wanted three... Or dad just told them he lost his job, or Jr. just broke his brother's I-Pod, or they knew they had to go home and clean out the garage. Who knows?

We don't know what was going on in their lives or even why they are fat. I have a friend who has one very large boy. His health is a concern. Although that boy's diet is watched very closely (and he gets plenty of exercise, etc), he does occasionally...wait for it... Gasp... get to eat... ice cream! How can you judge what is going on when you know nothing about the family? I'm not really sure what we are supposed to think or feel from this story. I generally try not to judge over weight people any differently than I would slim people especially if I don't know their story.

When I posted originally, it was just a expression of my sadness to see these boys looking so discouraged and down. I am use to children bouncing off the walls this time of the year especially in the malls where the store is. No thanks-Dad- if it was their dad--no oh boy, that looks good, just ducking their heads and not looking at anyone--just no expression. They did pick out what they wanted, but again so quiet.

My GS put on a great deal of weight since his mother took him back a year ago. I don't know if it's because he is unhappy or because all they have to eat is junk food. For sure he doesn't get the exercise he used to.

marie - I would have felt bad for them also, because of the weight problem and because they appeared to be unhappy.

And while we are on the subject... yes, I do think it's terrible that parents don't do -something- when their children become obese, or before they become obese.. but I don't agree with the courts removing children from their home solely for that reason.

Oh, I understand you were probably shocked that kids weren't happy to be eating ice cream.. it's just this post somewhere seemed to turned into a child abuse post.

I'm not sure if this is a post about kids not being happy or about fat kids eating ice cream. Would you have thought differently or posted if the kids were normal weight? I just have a feeling that their sadness was probably justified (loss of a dog or something) and that their weight had nothing to do with it and probably shouldn't have even been mentioned. (Unless the weight issue was, afterall, what you intended the post to be about).

A little less jumping to conclusions, perhaps ...

... and pulling hair?

(Except for fringe issues ... you'd have to look hard to find much on my head).

ole joyful