patty...i can feel your pain in your post...i am so sorry about the loss of your brother and how hard this day is for you.....there is a special place in my heart for sibling loss....because it is almost as if somehow and for some reason people who have not experienced it seem to think their pain is less than that of a parent losing a child or someone losing a spouse....i know because of the way people have treated my son on the loss of his sister,my daughter...i read in compassionate friends that when one loses a parent they have lost their past..and one that loses a spouse they have lost their present and when a parent loses a child they have lost their future...but when someone loses a sibling they have lost their past present and future......and i see it eveytime i look at the dead look in my sons eyes...Happy birthday to your brother and God bless you...terri

Patty, I'm so very sorry. I may be wrong, but I would tend to imagine that with your Dad having already left this world and your poor mom so sick, that the grief for your brother is even more hard. Grief is always so hard and even harder when we don't have others that we love to grieve with us. I know, though, that you wouldn't want your mom to have to remember the death of her child. Patty, how old would your brother have been on his birthday? I'm so sorry.
Lu

Lu, we are all getting older, my brother would have been 66. I have one brother left and he is also older than me but just a couple of years. My mom has a brother and I have a son who is 33, he doesn't live far from me but I don't get to see him often. I go to see mom everyday, sometimes she knows me, and sometimes she doesn't. Today she cried and wanted me to bring her home with me. She doesn't know where she is. I live in her home and it is so hard sometimes without that sweet little lady here. I miss her. It just seems I miss her more some days than I do others.Sometimes I just wish I didn't have to come home. Patty

Bless your heart. You're to be commended for going to see about her daily, hard as it is. It's hard to acknowledge 'negative holidays' and the memories that are associated with them are sometimes bittersweet.
Nell

Hi Patty...I know what you mean. My house is real empty now, too. I agree that her disease is at least sparing her the pain of losing her son. I think it really blunted my mother's grief when my Father died. But then sometimes it is hard to tell.
It is so good for her for you to visit. Her care will be better too, I bet. Take care, Derry

Patty, I understand completely. Today would have been my brother's birthday. He passed away Dec. 1 2007. He would have been 50 years old today. I've been thinking about him all day. I sat by the beach for awhile, just remembering, and I saw a dolphin in the water jumping up every once in awhile. It's weird, but I kind of felt that was him and he was happy to be in the water again. Made me feel better a bit.