I always give my son and daughter and their spouses money or gift cards and usually include it with a home made ornament or food gift of some kind. This year my DH made a killer salsa that everyone is getting plus homemade dill and sweet pickles - the canned jars will get bright red bows and I will use some excelsior in a basket to hold them and tuck the gift cards or money in that. If you are not crafty then any little Christmas dish or candle would work. For the grandkids (they get money also because I just can't keep up with the latest games and electronic gadgets they have) I usually make some sort of pocket ornament out of felt to hold the money and then they have the ornament for the tree afterwards. There are lots of other ideas out there and I am sure you will get some really cute ones...... Lynne

Ok...well I thought I would give my thoughts...you are so right...there is no reason for jealousy because how could any parent not want the grandparents to love their child... But here is where the reptile...a snake in this case spits venom....when a DIL sees that her children may lean more favorable to their husbands mother...that is a no-no.....in my case, I am the more fun grandmother...my grandchildren gravitate to me when around both grandparents.... My DIL hates it and likely me as well...and for this reason...she just backed off in our lives...our son basically goes with her flow...so we are grandparents with a lot of love to give but only when we initiate a time with them....my son only comes over with his family on a holiday or a meal is involved...but I have had some foot issues in the last couple of years...not as active...and just had surg. To correct these issues...no visit...DIL or son has not gone out for a card for the kids to send...nothing ever nevrr... This got worse when DIL's mother left her husband and moved to the area...she used me for years as a babysitter...hated to see any attention her children gave me or me to them...she did not seem that interested in her own grandmother...so maybe that was the telltale sign of who she is.. While it takes a village, I am no village idiot...I know when I am being rejected....now my other DIL is expecting and I can tell it will be the same way...she knows how close my grandchildren were to me...she has a mother..she will protect her mothers best interest...I have decided to just let it be.... I am not going to put myself out there for anymore hurt...life is too short...and I am dealing with other issues in my own home to worry about someone elses....she is the most controlling person I have ever seen...she is even trying to control what people buy the baby for the baby shower tomorrow...which thankfully I am not attending.. I refuse to show up in a boit cast and crutches only 3 wks from surgery for this woman...its not the babys day yet...its still hers...I bought some great gifts for the baby, but was told that she told her own mother if she did not get the right item, she would take it back... I even hesitate to give these items to her....for fear it will not be to her liking....never mind they are very nice items....this is just what my sons went out into the world and married...the total opposite of their mother....

Do you have access to pictures of when you were born? If so, get a picture of the first time you mom held you after your birth and then take a picture of the first time your mom holds YOUR baby. Have the pictures made into 5 X 7"s and put into a side-by-side frane. Priceless! Get the frame ahead of time, get your baby picture with your mom and then take the picture of the new grandma. This gift can be done withing hours after the birth. As for the hospital gift....you are already giving her the best gift in the world! Believe me, there is NO other gift like a grandchild. A big hug and a healthy birth is all your mom wants and prays for.

We had the same problem for years. We have a group of seven couples (all close in age). We would take trips together once every year or so but during the year we would take turns hosting a monthly dinner. Of course this always necessitated a hostess gift. All of us are comfortably off and at our age have everything (material) that we want or need. It drove me crazy because I was constantly being gifted with craft type items. I am just not into cutesy things and I had a difficult time coming up with items that I thought the other ladies would enjoy or use. I failingly ended up giving food items or fresh flowers. We all finally came to a consensus that we should stop doing hostess gifts and at Christmas put funds together to donate to a charity. Thank goodness! The pressure every month is off and we can give to those in need. It's a win/win.