Keep involved in the life of those boys and they'll never forget their Grandma! They'll love you forever and mourn over you when you're gone. Great photo. Yes, I was right by my wife's side and peeked over the drape as my little daughter was being delivered c-section. I've watched many surgeries in my time, so I wasn't bothered by the blood, etc. LOL! Conception, pregnancy, and delivery -- they're all a MIRACLE in my opinion. When you consider all the mechanisms and hormones that come into play during the development of the little human, it's just mind-boggling. Even after the birth, the whole breast-feeding thing - . Amazing!

I cried reading everyone's responses. There is nothing like loosing your mother. I lost my mother on Feb 20th of this year and it was sudden but not unexpected as we knew were living on borrowed time, she suffered from COPD and congestive heart failure. We should have lost her in 2004 but she stayed with us till she had no reserve left, that is what the doc's call it when your lungs no longer have the capacity to store more oxygen. There is one thing I have learned that I would like to pass on and that is not to play the "what if" game with yourself. We can do that all day if we want but the end result is guilt because we create a scenario as we "Think" things may have turned out or may have been and no one knows or has a crystal ball to look back in time and say "yep had I done this or that things would have been better" Our mother's as stated in an earlier post really do not want their children to see them die. They are always thinking of us and I am sure they are thinking "I need to spare them this pain" and I have to say this. I was lucky enough to be with my mom when she took her last breath but that is an image I will never get out of my head. My mother's body once full of life, all of a sudden she was gone, it was the hardest thing I ever had to go through, to watch someone die in front of you is not something I ever want to see again, and yet, I am grateful I was able to be with her when she did pass. it sounds twisted I know, but it was just so truly sad to see her there one minute and then gone the next. Even though I spent 12 hours a day with her for 7 days before she died, I find myself thinking "I should have said or done more" but truly what else could I have said, or done. I sat next to her and held her hand, washed her face, stroked her head and face, massaged her arms and held her hand, kissed her face, made her laugh, shared moments with her, comforted her and gave her ice chips to suck on. I even bought her her favorite flower, a red rose. She smelled it, I brushed it against her cheek, she loved it. And all I did, I would catch myself and say, "if only I did more or said more" but I did not need to, and I remind myself of that all the time because that "What if" thought always pops into my head. Mother's know how much we love them, they see it in our eyes and we see how much they love us in their eyes. The sweetest thing my mother gave me was the look. She and I while I was drawing pictures of she and I when I was a little girl holding her hand, she looked at me and for 6 seconds we just stared at each other and I saw the most amazing amount of love she had for me, and we did not say a word but we smiled and cried and she said "I love you" and I know I will never experience anyone looking at me the way she did. Playing the "what if" game will just make you go nuts, I am sure our mother's knew how much we loved them, they could feel us even when we were not with them, and I am positive they did not want us to see them die, God controls everything for his own purpose and reasoning. And no matter what we may have felt we did wrong, or did not do enough of before our mother's passed, I for sure can say this, as they are in the presence of the Lord, all earthly things are passed and they are not thinking about what we did or did not do and they are for sure not judging us. There is one big party in heaven, a celebration for each child who comes home to be with the Lord, as the Lord knows our hearts, I am sure our mother's knew our hearts and knew we loved them. We are only human, not perfect, and we did the best we could and our mother's loved and love us no matter what. If you think they died alone I can honestly say that I truly believe when someone dies they are never alone, an angle is there to take them to heaven and my mom kept looking around the room before she passed as she said she heard strange sounds and wanted to know where they were coming from and she was so peaceful. I believe she heard the trumpet sounds being made for her entry into heaven. The bible says when we die, those who know the Lord are in his presence and all worries and pain and sadness are no longer. I hope this provides some comfort, just don't beat yourselves up about what you could have done or said. Our mother's know how much we loved them and all we wanted to say and do. God bless

ilene-84, Happy Birthday to your Dad! Is he a WW II vet? I hope all the medical issues are behind you and your family now. Spring is around the corner and it's such a great time of year. And, I'm sure when your kitchen is all done, it will be great simply because it has been a labor of love. It's good to know I am not the only one sleeping terribly. I wake up every day with a terrible headache and neck pain. I also wake up in the middle of the night repeatedly adding up cabinet sizes, trying to make a list of events of what should come next, what goes and doesn't go, if I do this then I have to do that and the infamous DID I MAKE A MISTAKE and what are my options now if I decide to change the layout. I started keeping a pen and paper on the night table to be able to jot down the ideas and make notes. However, one kitty is a pen thief, the other is a paper tearer. So when I get up to find the pen, big doggie has to come over and inquire as to what I am doing but more so to make sure he is not missing out on a food tidbit. Then DH starts in, what's wrong, is everything okay . . . it's so pitiful I have to laugh because I would cry. Now I try to get back into bed and find out that another kitty has stolen my warm spot and I just can't bear to move them so to the couch for me where I wonder, I just left that bed with all of them so how did we fit on there before! At least I'm off the kitchen biz. So much for the couch idea. There is usually the shy rescue cat there who so prefers DH to me. Then if I manage to lay down, it's impossible to get my back comfortable but then I finally fall asleep out of sheer exhaustion and then there is DH waking me, come back to bed, you know the couch is no good for your back. Argh . . just leave me be! This is a daily routine for us. I almost want to quit my day job and get a night job just so I don't have to go to sleep. I am sure also that the massive amounts of junk food I am eating is not helping the situation either. I am actually craving veggies so I don't know what that says about the diet. But in the end I will have a nice enough kitchen that I have built out of a labor of love. I am so looking forward to cooking again for us so hang in there! Christine, thanks for sharing your perspective on things. I must say you must be one strong resilient woman! You go girl.

Sending good thoughts and prayers for your grandson and family; the odds are that he is fine and just being young. I urge you to call the state police ASAP and insist on their help. When my younger DS was 18, he decided to drive out here from Tucson, alone for the first time at such a distance. He didn't appear on the scheduled day - 100% unlike him; he was a responsible kid. When I woke up the next morning he still wasn't here. I called the CHP (California Highway Patrol) and gave them his car description and license plate number. Four hours later he called - from Barstow CA, about 350 miles away. He'd pulled into Barstow late, stayed with a friend, and a bunch of buddies were having a very long breakfast. A policeman identified his car parked next to a popular local restaurant. I asked him what happened and he said, "A cop walked into the restaurant, asked who owned that car, asked me my name, and said Call Your Mother." Of course, I read him the riot act. Please call. They will help!