RR, that's Ashley sitting on the floor in front of Makayla, with her hair back and the black sweater! She's letting her hair grow, so she just pulled it back. The cake was excellent, especially with the topping, which ran down and made the bottom of the cake sour/sweet and kind of crunchy. Yummy, and the guys swiped the leftovers for the bachelor party. I guess it went OK with beer and Jack Daniels, LOL. Glazed Lemon Sour Cream Cake From The California Cook cookbook Serves 8-10 Note this cake may be prepared up to 3 days in advance, and kept at room temperature, tightly covered. The cake can also be wrapped tightly in aluminum foil and frozen for up to 2 months. Serve with seasonal berries and a dollop of whipped cream. Ingredients: 1 3/4 cup all purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 cup unsalted butter at room temperature 1 cup sugar 3 large eggs at room temperature 1 Tablespoon minced lemon zest 2 teaspoons lemon extract 1 cup sour cream Glaze: 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar 1/2 cup strained fresh lemon juice 2 teaspoons finely chopped lemon zest Directions: 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9-inch lightweight Bundt pan. Sift the flour, baking powder, baking soda together in a medium mixing bowl. Set aside. 2. In a medium bowl with an electric mixer on medium speed, or in a food processor fitted with the metal blade, beat the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy, about 4 minutes. Beat in the eggs, zest, and lemon extract and mix for 2 minutes. 3. Reduce the mixer to the lowest speed, add half the flour mixture, and mix until well combined. Add half the sour cream, mixing constantly, and then add the rest of the flour and sour cream, ending with the sour cream. 4. Pour the mixture into the prepared Bundt pan, and bake for about 35-40 minutes, or until a cake tester comes out clean. Cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then invert onto a cake rack. Make the glaze. 5. Using a wire strainer, sift the powdered sugar into a small non-aluminum bowl. Add the juice and lemon zest, and whisk to break up any clumps. 6. Place the cake on a wax paper-lined rimmed baking sheet. Using a long skewer, poke holes in the cake almost going through the bottom at 1-inch intervals. Slowly pour the glaze over the cake, making sure it�s absorbed as you pour. Let the cake come to room temperature. It's very good, so thanks to Beth! Annie

I'm w/ Sweet Pea10. esp. about the church showers held for the bride by church members. If you think the ladies at your church might expect to participate in a shower regardless of whether they're invited (if you went to my church, some of them would), then figure out who the unofficial "social chairman" is and ask her what she thinks. The ideal would be if she says, "yes, we should have a shower," and then she hosts it, and you offer as much logistical help as you can. And I'm curious--is your sister not having the ceremony at the church? Or is it the RECEPTION that will be in your home? Because....if the wedding is in the church, I think the church members are sort of automatically invited to the ceremony, even if they aren't invited to the reception. Your sister could even send an invite to the congregation (or post it on the bulletin board) for the ceremony itself. In my church, when we've thrown "church ladies" showers for someone, we sometimes invite the bride's & groom's immediate female relatives, if they live in town. And some other friends, perhaps. And Emily Post says, about whom to invite to the shower: "When a wedding is very small--restricted to family only, and p erhaps with no reception--thecouple may be given a shower to which friends are invited who would have been included at al arger wedding. The shower, in this case, almost takes the place of the reception, and the shower gifts are given instead of (rather than in addition to) wedding gifts."

I agree. Maybe she doesn't expect it as much as you do -- I'd actually be surprised for you to go given the distance, the other shower, etc., even without the situation with your grandmother. At most I think she will be a little disappointed, not truly upset. If she is, she is being awfully childish for someone who is supposed to be grown up enough to get married! But you'd still have to deal with it, I guess -- so just deal with it if it happens, and know you aren't doing anything wrong. What is an "honorary" MOH? Sounds like you're her MOH, period. Which still doesn't mean you have to attend this shower!

I can see both sides of the favor/no favor discussion.. I think it is nice to offer a thoughtful small gift to guests of a shower. Not all gatherings-- but a shower, yes. What is considered "nice" or "thoughtful" will vary greatly by region, age group, personality of the bride/mother-to-be, and personality of the event... so my recommendation is to do them if you have a good idea that seems to have wide appeal. Skip it if you don't. I just wouldn't fret over it. A number of years ago, I hosted a baby shower with a sweet pea theme. It was an outdoor buffet with no place settings so I setup a basket full of sweetpea seed packets as favors for guests. It helped decorate a table.. and it fit the event... and guests loved it. I don't like chocolate (and I especially don't like m&m's) but I know a number of grown women (and men) who would tear into a gift of m&m's. A number of our small little chocolate shops and bakeries will do little boxes that I'd absolutely use as favors for an event with a sit-down meal. I would not give any kind of decor item-- or anything that costs more than $5-$7/person.