Yes to china plates. This is, in theory :-), celebrating a once in a lifetime event, glam it up.

Yes to a finely chopped salad with protein add-ins and a light vinaigrette (to counterbalance a heavy cheese dish).

No to favors. I 'forget' and leave them behind all the time. Spend the money on the flower arrangements instead.

I wouldn't drink punch, or soft drinks, so I can't help there. I carry my own bottle of water but appreciate when people offer water, plain or sparkling.

I prefer to chat and socialize over playing any games (I'm in the they are mostly tedious camp) but if the bride likes games, keep it brief.

Hmmm, cake or cupcakes. Cakes need plates and fork; cupcakes can be messy if there is an over abundance of frosting. How about pretty cookies? And fruit skewers.

I would add finger sandwiches, turkey, tuna, egg salad? Most women are usually watching their weight so I can see them using the mac & cheese more like a side dish and not the entrée.

Have the salad finely chopped. I agree with Kswl about the fixings for a Cobb salad as the add on. I wouldn't dress the salad but give a choice of two dressings, an oil and vinegar and a creamy.

Favors can be fun but certainly not necessary. I saw something very cute at Stop and Shop today. Tiny bulbs in ceramic pots. All of $2.99 each. An assortment of flowers in different colored pots. You can group them as decor, then distribute at the end of the party.

For drinks, mimosas are light and festive.

Yes to china. No to favors. Yes to salad toppings and no to a creamy dressing. Don't forget to include things like dried cranberries and matchstick apples to compliment the cheeses used in your Mac & Cheese. No to cupcakes, but yes so some other type of mini cake... mini bundts, tarts, little cheese cakes. Yes to punch, and use a punch bowl with a pretty ice ring.

I would use the China--assuming it can go in your dishwasher.

I admit I find salads awkward to eat if I don't have a table. I might consider broccoli or green beans instead. (You can steam either and toss with salt, pepper, lemon zest and olive oil).

I have done Mac n cheese bars for parties, though that may be more casual than you are going for. I served Mac n cheese with diced pancetta, sliced olives, sliced roasted chicken, diced tomatoes, steamed broccoli, steamed cauliflower, and parmesan cheese.

I would leave the games up to your Dd, as I am assuming she is more a contemporary of the bride.

I would not do cake as it is harder to serve. And there will be cake at the wedding most likely. Cupcakes, mini fruit tarts, strawberries dipped in chocolate. . . . I like finger foods for big groups.

I do not think favors are necessary. If you decide to do them, we gave chocolates wrapped in pretty colors tied together in a bit of netting with a ribbon at our wedding long ago. Not very expensive, can theme with the wedding via the colors, and consumable.

The bottom line is you can't please everyone. The only person you need to please is the bride. Maybe the bride's mother.

Good luck, have fun with it, enjoy the celebration.

Petit fours are beautiful, and were "bites" of cake before bites were trendy.

Would not have enough stuff for DIY salads or mac and cheese to make it a long process to get through the serving line. Too many choices, each person takes four or five minutes to decide and serve self, times twenty people and you've got a problem. One or two additions to salads at most and none to anything else.

Yes to the china and chopped salad with toppings offered. The matchstick apples and cranberries were a great idea. And I also vote for having both a light vinaigrette and a creamy dressing to offer. If you have grape tomatoes and maybe one other item you'll have a mini-salad bar and that would be enough for a luncheon. Small rolls maybe? No favors, and games only if you think the bride would approve of a simple game.

I think the mini fruit tarts, strawberries dipped in chocolate, lemon squares, maybe mini-cheesecakes and you'd be set for dessert.

I would not eat mac & cheese & I would eat salad. Perhaps have short skewers with chunks of chicken, a cherry/grape tomato, chunk of cucumber for those that do not want mac & cheese? I also would use china plates & I have hosted bridal showers with a non alcoholic punch & iced tea - the showers were in the summer time. Re: games - I would ask the bride if she wants games. Some ice breaker type games might be fun. I have played this game at a few showers & it was fun - each guest chooses the name of a famous woman (living or not) & that name is pinned onto her back. She asks questions to other guests to try & guess the name of the famous woman on her back.

p.s. for dessert - a simple dessert works well - cookies, chocolate strawberries etc.

Yes to china, no to favors, yes to an ice breaker game. I think fruit skewers would work well as long as they aren't too long/elaborate and will balance nicely on the plate.

I would lightly dress the salad (I hate trying to add salad dressing in a buffet line) with a simple vinaigrette as suggested by others. I find romaine crisped in a linen towel and then cut or torn into reasonably sized pieces is easy to stab with a fork.

I think little bite sized cakes instead of a large one to be cut, or cupcakes would be great...petit fours, brownie bites, lemon squares or even little mini cupcakes don't seem as messy as the larger ones. If you have a Trader Joes, they have wonderful lemon squares in the freezer and salted chocolate brownie squares that are to die for. Not quite as fancy as something from a bakery or maybe nicely homemade, though.

I think a mac n cheese with a salad will be fine. I'd get the "spring mix" which is mixed baby greens that are already bite sized and then add whatever veggies I wanted...grape tomatoes, sliced cucumbers, sliced radishes, etc. What's nice is they are already colorful too so the salad already looks special. And do dress it in a simple vinaigrette...it's really awkward to have to put the plate down and then apply the dressing without dripping etc. If you think that might not be enough, then do a room temp side of something like haricot vert. Fruit could work if it's on fancy toothpick skewers so it's easy to pick and eat.

I like party favors if they are thoughtful...no jordan almonds, please. I love cawaps' puzzle idea...gives people something to do.

I think cake is messy to serve if it's frosted, cupcakes are messy to eat if in paper. I'd rather see a platter of fancy cookies and brownies and if desired an unfrosted bundt type cake that's easy to eat. People can take just one if they want or they can pig out if they want and they can pick what they like best be it chocolate or fruit filled or whatever.

I also like punch with a bottle of vodka on the side so people can have it plain or potent, however they wish. A white wine offering instead could work too. Of course water and seltzer with lime and lemon wedges are nice. I have a recipe for "bride's punch" if you're interested.

China is nicer than paper and certainly more substantial for lap eating.

I think it's going to be a fine affair.

a nice mac and cheese is perfect if it's the brides favorite! i would make 2 types of salads tho... a green salad and maybe a broccoli salad or something. fruit skewers are a good idea, or you can dish out single servings in the short, 'cut crystal' type of plastic cups... i wouldn't make a cake unless there was a fancy or special recipe you were making or if you were planning to decorate it special for a shower- otherwise i would make mini cupcakes (without paper!!) or another dessert like some that were suggested.

i wouldn't serve punch unless it was spiked.... like a champagne punch maybe. or a sangria... i would have icetea and water... maybe soda if i thought some would want it...

i think shower games can be fun!

i wouldn't worry about favors!

Sorry I haven't read all the replies, but FWIW.

I love Caspari plates and napkins and go out of my way to find reasons to use them. They are so pretty!

Other than a wedge salad, one really should never need to cut lettuce when served a salad. Technically many lettuces should be torn, but baby lettuces won't need any prep at all.

Personally i think it should be tossed in a light vinaigrette, but there are still a lot of people who want a creamy dressing. I'd offer both unless you know your group. I assume we are talking grown women who know how to do this carefully and won't be getting it all over. For men or children I might not give them paper plates with a dressed salad!

Mac n cheese is a crowd pleaser, but I think you need something more. I don't eat shrimp, but maybe cold shrimp and or thinly sliced rolled ham (so that it's a finger food and they dont need to cut it).

I would definitely serve fruit, but I like to serve a big fruit platter. Red and green grapes, pineapple cubes, strawbs, rasp, maybe some mango slices and orange slices. No apple or pear as it browns. Keep the grapes in tact in a bunch for looks, but then go in with a scissor and snip off little handfuls. It still looks like one pretty bunch, but people can take a few without wrestling it off.

In my experience, the cake is a very big deal at showers. I can't imagine not having one; it is often sort of a centerpiece and carries the theme?

Favors, I say yes. You are right there are a lot of dumb favors. But i bet you can find brilliant ideas on Pinterest too.

I'd have the games as back up, in case there is a lull.

How nice of you to host. Have a wonderful time!

ETA: I forgot about drinks. If it were me, I would make a nice punch. And then I would serve mini bottles of still water (something pretty like the cobalt Saratoga bottles maybe). But I don't like soda and esp not for a special occasion, so I am biased.

Deviled eggs would be nice.

Make sure to offer water, too. Punch and pop are laden with sugar and I wouldn't drink either.

A little favor would be nice. I would offer the guests a pouch of Jordan almonds. I love the notion behind it.

Oh what fun! Some of my thoughts deviate from the majority.

No matter how special the Mac & Cheese, I think you need to offer something else. I don't like it (though will politely eat a small serving) and many have issues with dairy, carbs, gluten. I like Mtn's suggestion of shrimp or ham... also like the idea of tea sandwiches. Personally, I love quiche for a luncheon but that is just another cheese delivery system lol.

I am ambivalent about fruit.. i'd be more inclined to have a nice veggie or antipasto platter. I've had great response to blanched and chilled asparagus or green beans with lemon, garlic &olive oil.

I really dislike punch.. I see I am in the minority here but if I didnt make it (and I never do!), I don't want to drink it. I would serve iced tea and pretty water bottles.. I'd also offer white wine, sangria or a pretty cocktail. No soda.

Also think you need a cake for a shower. While I love little cakes, for a shower, I think you need a beautiful full size cake... I have made them and ordered them. My recommendation is to order a stunning professional cake so that you can focus on all the other details.

I think china is out of place at a gathering that is not a sit-down meal. There are so many better quality disposable plates. My sister uses a white plastic plate with gold rim that i think she gets at costco. Also love the much prettier designer plates like the caspari Mtn mentioned.

I don't care for games but I think this is something you should leave to your daughter or the bride (if it isn't a surprise).

I like the idea of favors-- the shower itself is all about gifting the bride. It's nice to give a small token to the guests. There are so many ideas. I also like the significance of Jordan Almonds but I'd likely lean to a pretty package.

Lots of nice ideas shared above. I am sure you will bring it all together.

Joanie, a friend served this with a simple cream of turkey soup, rolls, fruit tray not fruit salad dinner a couple of weeks ago. Served on her china, very nice, very simple....sub your bride's fav mac and cheese for the soup....Nobody will need a knife they may need to balance, or drop on your carpet ;) It was new to me and good....

Costco's Super 7 Salad Kit

I'm not a cupcake fan, being too old to wear frosting on my nose in public. How does one eat a tall cupcake without a fork. Do you have a local bakery that does petit fours? Pretty and festive.

There must be some regional variation? I am not familiar with the idea of a cake as an important component of a shower menu. Google turned up lots of suggestions along the lines of finger food desserts and just a handful of cakes.

As far as cupcakes go, grocery store cupcakes tend to be huge and messy. But when I make them at home, they are not over-sized like that. And I have seen many from bakeries that were more normal in size. Mini-cupcakes are also easy to eat--I ordered dozens of those for dd's first birthday party over five years ago and they did make a pretty display, IMO.

Personally I would go with something not-cake though as I think of that as the centerpiece of the wedding itself. Sort of like not wearing white to a wedding so as not to compete with the bride

But, I think there are many many lovely options and that not a single one of your guests will scrutinize your menu as much as we have!

Interesting, cake is a regular part of showers here - both wedding and baby. They're all decorated pretty and fun. Now, mac 'n cheese on the other hand... :)

Rather than a tossed salad, what about a coleslaw or a broccoli salad? Either of those might be easier to eat and broccoli marries well with mac 'n cheese.

Thanks all.....lots of great ideas! Now I'm more confused than ever.....lol.

Cakes are a must for showers where we are, and they are almost always professional and elaborate. They differ from wedding cakes in that they are very girly. They may look like a dress or a gift box or a ring box or some such. I think the FoodNetwork is to blame, but I didn't realize until now that we are discussing it that cakes have become pretty serious!

Cakes have always been part of a shower here also.. and it predates Food Network. They are usually very pretty-- often with a flower theme for weddings-- but more whimsical than a wedding cake. They also tend to be lighter cakes with fresh (often fruit) flavors.

It's very kind of you to host the shower. I wouldn't worry too much about the food. What you have planned sounds nice, and I think most shower guests just nibble anyway. They are there to celebrate and give their gifts. It is true that you can't ever make everyone happy :-)

I think a lemonade, sparkling water, or punch is nice. Cupcakes are cute, but messy. I'd do mini cupcakes or a pretty sheet cake cut in squares.

I think favors are nice, but they don't need to be elaborate. For one shower I did, I used little potted annuals with pretty ribbons tied on them for centerpieces/decoration, and gave them as favors at the end of the shower. Or little bags of nice chocolates are nice. You can order any color of M&M's from Amazon (wedding colors) and tie them up in little tulle bags.

I was at a shower where the hostess served large cookies that were silhouettes of the bride. Food was a variety of open faced finger sandwiches. Both were easy to eat standing up or sitting.

I've used wedding cake cutout decorated cookies for bridal showers. They also serve as the favors. Just google or search Pinterest. But cake is always good!

I did not have games for my bridal shower. I was 43 years old and could not see us doing bridal bingo, etc.

Good luck.

I have a very pretty glass water dispenser. I like to fill it with water, lemon slices and mint leaves. The dispenser is pretty and efficient. I skip the soft drinks and punch.

Definitely favors! They need not be 'cheesy' or useless. Visit the dollar store and get a bunch of small bud vases or little jars (baby food jars work well too). Make sure you've got at least one for each guest. Buy single variety bunches of flowers in the bride's wedding colors and fill the vases. Tie on a pretty ribbon, raffia, or even yarn depending upon the theme and formality of the event. Use the vases to decorate your home during the party - the buffet table, entry hall table, powder room... When each guest leaves, send them off with one or two of the vases. Who wouldn't be delighted?

I wouldn't be delighted. If I couldn't leave without the favor (they have been forced on me in the past), it would go right into my thrift store box at home. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

Huh! who would have guessed a little bud vases with a few fresh flowers in it would be looked upon as such an annoying thing. Yes, to each his own. Short of an allergy, however, it think most folks would display the small arrangement next to a kitchen sink or on a bedside table for a day or three, until the blooms faded. After that by all means toss, recycle or donate the vase.

And how am I supposed to get the little bud vase with a few fresh flowers home in my car without having to prop it up and make sure that water isn't spilling and buds aren't breaking never mind the bud vase. So unless the hostess is prepared to pack it all up for me so that it isn't a driving distraction, I'm not interested. Actually, I'm not interested in favours at all, just silly consumerism run amok.

I do have allergies but that's not even why I wouldn't want it. I just don't want that kind of stuff. I will politely decline if you will politely accept my decision to decline. More for you that way.

Please note that the OP isn't interested in favors either so I was sharing my opinion that they aren't necessary and often aren't appreciated.

Give me extra cookies from the cookie tray and I'll be your BFF.

Again, to each his own. It seems to me however, that a remedial lesson in basic gratitude may be needed by some. (Haven't we all told our children at some point to 'smile and say thank you') A favor given at a party is a GIFT. Please accept it graciously- even if it's not quite good enough for you.

Oh, I will thank you for the darling little bud vase, assure you that I'll enjoy it, smile and say "Thank you!" But I'd toss it ASAP and feel bad that someone wasted money on "stuff" that many/most of the guests did not want or need. I have gotten to the age where I hate extra stuff just as much as I hate wasted money/time. But I'll smile and say "Thank you!"

Thank you! Well performed, Sushipup1. Don't feel bad. Just remember, you delighted the hostess and she went to bed that evening tired but happy that her guests had such a lovely time.

Fraker, I think there are MANY people who are polite, kind people but will refuse to take more "stuff" even if the giver considers it a "gift". To my mind, a shower is to gift the honoree and my "favor", should I feel entitled to one, is the hospitality of the host/hostess, the refreshments, the coming together with others to gift and celebrate someone I love.

I would thank the hostess if she tried to give me something that was more hassle for me to take than it was worth, but bow out of actually taking it with me. If more people had the good sense to refuse this "stuff", maybe fewer people would feel obligated to try to come up with something to give their guests. I'm fine with a table of favors by the door, like the old fashioned groom's cake for guests at a wedding, take if you want, leave behind if you don't. But to thrust a "gift" in my hands as I exit, well, thanks but no thanks.

This is really proof that people now feel obligated to give party favors for any and all occasions. Honestly, giving away the flower decor seems just a convenient way of getting rid of it :-) I would have larger arrangements on the serving table and throughout the party space in any case, not tiny vases or baby food jars with a couple of flowers each.

This has nothing to do with gratitude on the part of the guests. It is the hostess' responsibility to make the guests feel welcome and not gratitude for being weighed down with cheap junk because some bridal magazine says it is the thing to do. And color- coordinated m&ms....do adults (or children, really) want or need candy when they have presumably just had a much nicer dessert?

I think a party favor is a gift.....I would take it and if you throw it out so be it. I must be lucky because all the favors from weddings and showers I've gotten in the past few years were really nice. I got some sugar scrub in a Mason jar, a little condiment container with Jordan Almonds, a Starbucks gift certificate folded into a flower (a kitchen towel). I would be happy to get a couple fresh carnations. If I got something I didn't care for I'd say thank you for thinking of us and appreciate the thought even if I hated it. The host was trying....we can't always get it right for everyone.

Of course if someone presses a favor into your hand you'd have to take it and say thanks, but the mistake IMO is in thinking that this is always a gracious gesture on the hostess' part. It is rude to give a guest something impossible to transport easily like a vase of flowers, no matter how small.

Sometimes I wonder if the party favor trend is due to people's general lack of confidence in entertaining. People do seem to entertain less and less at home, and maybe they are overthinking the details because they aren't entirely comfortable with the process? You don't need to thank people for allowing you to entertain them!

Or maybe they see the elaborate "swag bags" given out at gatherings competing for the rich and famous and want to emulate that on, albeit on a very modest scale?

Whatever the reason, I find it very interesting as part of our consumer evolution. Or devolution, as these changing customs seem very similar to the potlatch ceremonies of certain indigenous northern tribes.

My shower was a tea party theme. Very girly. My hostess bought floral teapots from Home goods and had a florist arrange them (florist was family so it kept the cost down). They were center pieces then given as the prize to bridal bingo.

Menu sounds good--- whatever you choose. As for drinks, it seems water, iced tea, and coffee are always a hit here. I'd go with a light punch too. We hosted a large party a few years ago and felt we "had" to have pop available. I bought a few cases and only 3 cans were taken! I think that was with 60 guests.

I think the region you live in is an indicator. Where I live (East coast, Mid atlanic) there would always be a drink....sparkling wine, mimosas, wine. Always other options but definitely a drink of some sort.

There are a lot of cr@ppy favors in showerland. A good favor is probably specific to the bride and or location, so I'd brainstorm around that. But if you can't come up with what you think is truly a good idea i wouldn't feel obligated to buy some junk just to be able to hand out a "favor". A tacky favor is just that, tacky. There's nothing tacky about not giving a favor.

For example, I never ever gave goodie bags for my children's parties. When we had a disco swim party, the theme was tie-dye and every kid got a tie-dyed beach towel. (which I prewashed for colorfastness by the way).

The only favor I have received (and used) was in a pretty little (think maybe 4" tall) white shopping bag with colorful tissue paper sticking out. In the bag was a fingernail buffing block and a tiny container of beeswax cuticle cream.

about beverages...I recently hosted 22 ladies for a luncheon. No one drank anything sweet. Most drank water until one of my friends came in with a case of chilled Chardonnay. Fun afternoon!

Hmmm. I suppose I am just a plebeian, but I would be happy to receive a plant/flower or some tacky M&M's to enjoy later. I can't imagine being privileged enough to be put out by being given a "junky" favor.

It's also perfectly acceptable to not have favors. To each their own.

In my area cake squares are very popular at parties. The bakery frosts a sheet cake, neatly cuts it into small squares, puts the squares in a cupcake paper and then they decorate each square. They look like petit fours but are much less expensive. They are less messy than cupcakes and less intimidating to balance and eat than a cake slice. For the hostess they look lovely on a nice tray and you don't have to worry about cutting and serving.

better a budvase with a flower or 2 than a betafish in a small bowl that the person then feels obligated to keep alive for 2-3 yrs!!! ( he reminded me of the happy couple for at least 2 yrs!) lol

i'm not crazy about cake, unless it is really, really good cake, which many sheet cakes and bakery cakes aren't. lots of people pass on cake, unless at a wedding where it is traditional and considered good luck.

a beautiful cake can make for some pretty pictures, and i would consider making one if i knew the bride's preferences and because i love to bake, etc, but i think there are many desserts that would be preferred by many...

I agree, a fish is a swimmingly poor idea.

I can see both sides of the favor/no favor discussion.. I think it is nice to offer a thoughtful small gift to guests of a shower. Not all gatherings-- but a shower, yes. What is considered "nice" or "thoughtful" will vary greatly by region, age group, personality of the bride/mother-to-be, and personality of the event... so my recommendation is to do them if you have a good idea that seems to have wide appeal. Skip it if you don't. I just wouldn't fret over it.

A number of years ago, I hosted a baby shower with a sweet pea theme. It was an outdoor buffet with no place settings so I setup a basket full of sweetpea seed packets as favors for guests. It helped decorate a table.. and it fit the event... and guests loved it.

I don't like chocolate (and I especially don't like m&m's) but I know a number of grown women (and men) who would tear into a gift of m&m's. A number of our small little chocolate shops and bakeries will do little boxes that I'd absolutely use as favors for an event with a sit-down meal.

I would not give any kind of decor item-- or anything that costs more than $5-$7/person.

Frozen Cheesecake lollypopsI would say no to any favors.

i made these for a shower, very easy to serve and pretty. Can be made about a month before so thats a good thing.

http://www.robinhood.ca/RecipeFunction/Print?recipeId=3821&bakingWithKids=False&bakeClass=false

I can't imagine being privileged enough to be put out by being given a "junky" favor.

I don't think privelege has anything to do with it. It's not like you are getting groceries as favors. Come on.

Not for a bridal shower, but at a wedding I was at, the groom's father was into making home made preserves, so a jar of preserves was the favor and each was labeled for the guest/couple with their table number. I thought it very clever and personal.