Graduation Party/Brunch Hostess Gift?

12 years ago

I thought I had my gift figured out but I'm second guessing myself.

A good friend's daughter is graduating from high school tomorrow evening. They are having a brunch/party kind of thing at their house and my friend, the mom, is the hostess. We're giving the graduate a card with some money but I feel we need to take the hostess a gift as well. My friend is a lover of wine but since it is a brunch, I thought about taking some champagne and orange juice to make mimosas. Keep in mind that I have no idea what will be served - it might be BBQ for all I know!

Does this sound appropriate? Although there will be plenty of adults attending - it is a party for a kid. Maybe flowers or some kind of sweet treat or fruit?

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Comments (8)

graywings123
12 years ago
It's not really a hostess gift if the plan is to serve the mimosas at the party. I would not bring the drinks without discussing it in advance with her. And then you are going to have to bring a lot to serve the entire group.
stinky-gardener
12 years ago
How about a bouquet of fresh flowers in her color scheme, or a potted summer flower she could sit at the front door to greet her guests? Maybe a fabulous, colorful geranium?

Also, a bottle of champagne, or a box of good chocolates is always nice. An uplifting music cd is another idea. A gift card for Bath and Body Works for the mom might also be a nice treat.

Whatever else you bring, your supportive presence is the best gift of all. Have fun!
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I thought of this thread recently when I received a gift from a houseguest. As is so often the case, I think this really comes down to how you feel about the person and the circumstances, not some rule or principle about whether it is okay to regift. How would you feel about this gift: a bracelet (fashion, not fine jewelry), that I have very good reason to believe was a gift his wife received but didn't want? I think many people would think that's terrible. But I appreciated and loved it, and here are the details that both explain why I think it is probably a "regift" and that may make you feel different, as I do: - this is a very close friend, like a brother, and we love his wife, too. We even went on their honeymoon with them! - The day before he started on his trip, he asked me what I wanted him to bring (he lives in Israel and sometimes there is something I need that is hard to find here. We are way past the formal "hostess gift" stage, but Israelis ALWAYS seem to bring a present). He joked that it had to be something he could get at the airport duty free shop, though, because he had severely broken his foot and really couldn't go shopping. I didn't need anything anyway, so I told him to forget it. - His wife is a plastic surgeon whose patients -- especially the breast cancer ones -- absolutely ADORE her. Their house and her office are always filled with cakes, flowers, and gifts. The bracelet was in a box from a store in a far from theirs and to which I can't imagine them going to shop. - She is really, really tiny, and the largeish bracelet probably wouldn't look good on her. And of course she can't wear bracelets while she works. So I'm guessing that they really did want to give me something, it wasn't practical for either of them to shop at the last minute, I told them no when he asked if there was anything I wanted, and they figured that I might like the bracelet, which she wasn't going to wear anyway (or maybe even she loved it and she would have worn it, but she shared it with me instead anyway). I even like to think that they realized I might figure it out, but they feel close enough to me and think enough of me to know I wouldn't mind at all but would understand. I even like to think something like this is what happened, because it speaks of intimacy -- it's the kind of thing you could do with a sister but not with a new acquaintance. The bracelet is pretty and I am enjoying it, most of all because I feel loved and trusted when I wear it.
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As your friend of so many years, Jamie's, I am excited that you are able to visit us, after so long, in our home. I value you as the kind and considerate person you are and am looking forward to simply enjoying your company and sharing the delicious meal my husband will prepare for us. I will be touched that you thought to also bring a gift and if you choose from any of the ideas mentioned above I will be delighted...they are all perfect. I think the idea of a cooking related gift to include DH in our friendship and to thank him for his efforts is especially appealing (whoops, but that's Sis3 talking, not your friend! I just happen to love cooking related gifts and have even been known to design my kitchen decor around a particularly colorful tagine that I received as a gift from overseas!). Have a wonderful time with your old friend!
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You don't have room to store all that stuff....cut veggies and fruits etc. Can you possibly order out the mac and cheese? You're going to make yourself crazy! Plan out your plan of attack....when you will make what and where you will store it. Then who will buy what and where you will store that....and how you will thaw and re-heat what needs to be reheated. Realize that it will take a LOOONG time to thaw a gallon of pulled pork or shredded turkey....and to be safe it should be defrosted in the refrigerator...or a picnic cooler and the temperature carefully monitored so it stays cool until it's ready to be heated. You don't want to give people food poisioning. Hard liquor won't melt any kind of plastic....it's not a solvent for anything like that. And take advantage of all the neighbor's refrigerator and oven space that you can....and don't over look the grill to heat things...or keep them warm....and use all the picnic coolers you can find. Yes...have a few stories...like the time I invited 2 people who used to be married, with their present spouses....figured out it was fine....but one man's new wife had a fit and spent 3 hours cowering by the front door lest she run into her husband's ex wife! And there was the sweet young thing who went upstairs and went to bed in my teenaged daughter's bed....and when daughter came home, we had to wake her so my daughter could go to bed, and the time that our pastor and his wife who invited to our new years Eve party, came after another party at 4 AM....because there were lights on and they knew we were up. And the time the dog drank the drippings from the keg and got so drunk she almost couldn't get up the steps into the house, or the time I bought cheap plastic watering cans to fill with flowers for table decorations....and a couple of them leaked...luckily that was an outside party....and the wedding shower where the groom had to be helped out the door. And the time I decided I could make pizza for 45 kids and had crusts and pepperoni and a vat of sauce....and grated 10 pounds of cheese by hand!!..Took me 3 days to clean the oven after that!
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dawnp
12 years ago
I think a potted flowering plant is a great idea.

If you bring fresh flowers, arrange them in a vase. A busy
hostess does not like to stop and hunt for a vase.

I would not take the champagne/mimosa ingredients because
it might not be what she wants to serve and then she would feel obligated to put it out. I think it's always best to ask first.
chickadee2_gw
12 years ago
I wouldn't bring anything that she had to deal with at the party like the mimosas or fresh flowers unless they were already in a vase. I'd enjoy receiving any of the other suggestions. Good chocolates. Yum. Nice soap, pretty summery dishtowels or outdoor candles are some other ideas.
amysrq
12 years ago
Agree...take a bottle of wine and explicitly state that it is for another time, just for her. When people bring me wine and expect to have it opened and served, it can be an annoyance. Yes, I am a control freak! :-) Have a great time at the party. You sound like a very thoughtful guest...kind of a rarity these days.
maire_cate
12 years ago
Amysrq's right. It's a hostess gift and completely up to the hostess if she wants to serve it or not. And to make sure she doesn't feel obligated to open the bottle just tell her that it's a gift and hope she enjoys it sometime.
kellyeng
Original Author
12 years ago
Okay, thanks for your responses. I was just too stuck on the champagne so I got 2 bottles but am skipping the OJ. That way she can open them or not but I think she will be more than happy to partake immediately - after all, it is a celebration! I think that was a enough but I ordered some flowers from my favorite shop and will pick them up in the morning.

Not everyone is appreciative or even cares about such things, but I know this friend really does and it will make her happy - which makes me happy. Win - Win!!
maddielee
12 years ago
I'm probably too late....I would hesitate before taking any alcoholic beverage to a party for a High School graduate.

If I did take a bottle of wine, I would sneak it in and whisper to the hostess to enjoy it after the hoopla of graduation is over.

Graduation Party/Brunch Hostess Gift?

Comments (8)

graywings123

stinky-gardener

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Graduation Party/Brunch Hostess Gift?

Comments (8)

graywings123

stinky-gardener

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