Betty, I LOVE the pink tablecloth in your tea setting. If you hadn't told us, I wouldn't have known it was plastic. It is such a pretty colour and goes so well with your beautiful dishes. What I find particularly appealing (besides sweet Hanna and the yummy food!) are the candlestick holders you used...I love candles of all sorts and those are great. Are they crystal? Thanks for keeping this post going, it's a good one! DD

I agree with everyone, including the OP, on all the gaffes here. I would cut them a little slack; the mom-to-be is pregnant and not feeling well, there is a divorce going on, and maybe more we don't know about -- etiquette probably seems relatively unimportant right now to this family. But still, the point here isn't that they didn't do anything wrong; they did. What the OP does about it, though, is another thing. I don't blame her for not wanting to attend -- it sounds like it will be very tense, and of who wouldn't feel like a chump with the information about the greediness? But I wouldn't withhold my presence as punishment for bad manners. It isn't the guests' place to teach the host and guest of honor manners, even if they are wrong (and it wouldn't work anyway). Leaving early in an obvious show of disapproval would be very rude (and mean). Certainly don't suggest cancellation or rescheduling -- of course they have already thought of those options, so it would not really be a suggestion, just a criticism. I assume that the OP is close to these people, either a relative or the one friend attending. I would let that be the guiding factor here, not their behavior. I think it kind of boils down to how you feel about making this family happy, dabunch. Suppose they hadn't violated any etiquette rules -- a friend gave the shower, the mom was to be there, no comment about wanting gifts -- would you be wanting to gladden their hearts and celebrate with them? Then do it anyway. Your presence and good wishes should be offered or withheld not on a merit system of how they are behaving, but on how you want to make them feel. So if you love these people, I would go to this awful party and do it with a smile. We would all want our friends and relatives to do that for us if we made a mistake, I'm sure. Stay away only if you think you cannot be gracious the whole time -- no snarky whispers to other guests, tempting though it would be! Perhaps all the other guests feel as you do and will NOT hold back. It would be a real kindness to the hostess to be a supportive guest -- maybe the only one. Good luck! Take public transportation so that if there is wine, you can use that to get through the party ....

Thanks for all the ideas. Compumom, unfortunately, I bought the mushroom turnovers last week, so I'll stick with them. However, I agree that a few more fresh items would be nice. I think I'll make some cherry tomato & fresh mozzarella skewers. Marinate the small mozzarella balls and use both red & golden tomatoes. Depending on how energetic I am, I might even add some marinated mushrooms too. I also will include a bowl of cubed fresh pineapple. I don't want to add any other fruits because I don't want to upstage the fruit tart my daughter-in-law is making. Thanks again for your help and suggestions. I'm sure we'll have a wonderful time. Here's the Pimento Cheese recipe: Posted by: woodie2 on Mon, Jan 24, 05 I don't really have many suggestions for tea sandwiches, but I do have this lovely recipe from Cindy Mac for Pimento Cheese, that Teresa made me remember. WORLD'S BEST PIMENTO CHEESE 4 tbls. mayonnaise 1 (3-oz.) pkg. cream cheese, at room temperature 3 cloves garlic Handful of fresh parsley Several vigorous shots of Tabasco and Pickapepper sauces 1 cup pecans 1 (4-oz.) jar diced pimentos with the juice 12 ozs. extra-sharp Cheddar cheese, grated Puree until smooth in food processor the mayonnaise, cream cheese, garlic, parsley and sauces. Turn into a bowl. Coarsely chop pecans. Add pecans and pimentos with juice to the mayonnaise mixture. Add grated cheese. Stir well to combine. Store in refrigerator at least 1 hour before serving. The spread is even better the next day. Serve on bread, crackers or on vegetables.

I still don't get "couples" at baby showers and birthday parties. The child, the reason for the celebration, seems to get lost with the parents drinking and eating and partying. The parents of my son't best friend in H.S. are a very socially connected well to do couple in my area (and very nice people too) that do quite a bit of entertaining. They had a graduation party for their son (and ours too) and invited us. I was quite surprised to find the party already in full swing right immediately after the graduation ceremonies. They had invited all of their friends to their home before the graduation was even over. I got the feeling that the party was not so much about their son's graduation, but about their social connections.