Deanna, sweats and slippers are approved apparel for tonight. They go with lobster. Linda, hop in the car and come over, I have the room. You too Deanna. After a good nights sleep, the menu now is: Herring in cream Lobster with butter Roast tenderloin Rolls, breads, etc.(Rolls are rising already) Roasted truffeled asparagus with parmesan topping. Mushroom Ragout, posted by Catlover on the tenderloin thread a few weeks ago. Beer, wine, etc. Sweets are still being considered. Is chocolate mousse light? And not one thing needs to be bought. All from the pantry or freezer. Now all Dad needs to do is get some more beer. What a hardship. Thanks ladies! Happy New Year!

Hi ML, I think you're getting unfairly beat up. Your guy did the same thing that a lot of people did- they bought at the top of the market, thinking it was a good investment. Right now you have a "paper loss", but there is also the real cost of paying a mortgage for $200k+ vs a mortgage of That said. Truly, this is a "good" problem to have. When you and your DH look back on this years from now, you will think about how you had to deal with a place that is less than perfect and sold some land instead and you'll smile about your youth. You will be thankful that you could afford the mistake and that you weren't bankrupted or foreclosed upon. This is still a problem, but it's a problem that is livable. You aren't facing cancer, injury, etc. In a few years it might make more sense to rent because rents generally are rising now. In fact, this might eventually turn into a cash cow if you ended up renting it. You might end up making much more money on it then you would have if you could short sell it now- plus there will be costs associated with a short sell, even if it were possible (it sounds like it really isn't.) This is just the start of the story for you and your DH. Don't let this come between the two of you. There are all kinds of ways to have fun with it and make it a positive. My FIL is a contractor- when the crash started, he reno'd his kitchen and bathroom and took a lot of before/after pics. He started a website for his business with the pics. His wife was delighted to have a new kitchen and bathroom, and he picked up business. Look for the win-win. You're smart and young, it gets better!

"We have decided to pay for the remediation of the mold ourselves, but I was surprised that there are no regulations about using dry wood". Since you have already taken action to have mold remediation performed, you have wisely decided your health is more important than other concerns in this situation. If you spent an enormous amount of money for mold remediation and health treatment, you may wish to consult your attorney to see if the framer is liable to reimburse you for these costs. The remaining long post below is for others who wonder what is all this hype about mold. I am a licenced contractor who deals with mold issues in connection with water intrusion damage to homes. In my years dealing with mold problems, I have come to understand mold from a different point of view than the average contractor or homeowner. To start, some background about mold. Mold is any of the thousands of kinds of fungus which inhabit the earth. Most mold is parasitic, and feeds off wood or vegetable matter that is found in nature. For various kinds of mold, there are different environmental conditions that promote their growth and survival. We usually associate warm, damp conditions with mold, but mold can live in many conditions from very wet to nearly dry, cold or warm. As partr of their reproductive cycle, molds create spores which are released into the air and settle on new surfaces where they can grow as new molds if conditions are favorable. Mold spores are microscopic spheres which can become airborne. But these airborne spheres usually have a coating on thier surface consisting of myotoxins -- (poisons that can cause allergic reactions or severe health problems when inhaled, or adhered to your skin). However, some mold spores are more toxic than others, and some people are more sensitive to these myotoxins than other people are. So we see a vast variation when we read reports from different people that mold is a health problem. Also note that theses mold spores are in the air even when there is no known mold that can be seen growing nearby. Mold spores are as common as dust in the air. Most people are acclimated to the normal levels of mold spores that are suspended in the air that they breathe. But if there are places that have a heavy mold growths, we often hear complaints from people that they can smell the mold, or they are experiencing allergic reactions. Perhaps I am one of the lucky people who is more resistant. I have been in areas with heavy mold growth which have caused homeowners to move out of their home because of their severe reactions, without returning until our crews removed the contaminated materials and treated the mold. On the other hand, I have seen most of the mold testing usually shows that penicillin is one of the most common molds found in most homes. This is known to be a kind of mold that is used as a medicine to fight bacterial infections. Because of the undefined health risks of mold, there have been no laws that specifically determined what levels of mold are acceptable, or what methods must be used to treat the mold to make a home safe and habitable. It seems to be more of a personal choice for each indiviual to determine what is acceptable or not. But there are certain established methods of mold abatement which are accepted in the industry. Before we get into the mold abatement methods, let's take a look at the other side of mold problems with wood. Some kinds of mold can attack the wood in a manner that makes the wood weak, so it does not serve its function as a structural member. But other kinds of mold are relatively harmless to wood or to people who are near the mold. As an example, some new lumber at the lumber yard has a spotty black coating on the surface when you buy it. These black spots are mold, which is usually found on "green lumber" which may feel wet or damp to the touch. But they are not generally harmful to the wood structure, because they are only growing on the surface, and they usually stop growing after the wood is nailed in place and has a chance to dry out. But if wood is stacked so it does not dry, then other kinds of mold can grow which appear often as white webbed strands on the surface, that can weaken the wood so badly that you can break it by stomping on a board. This usually takes some time for mold to penetrate that deep into the wood, so it is rarely seen home construction because the construction wood has a chance to dry from the time it is nailed in place. A second kind of mold damage to wood is seen in exterior wood that is exposed to the weather, especially in decks and in outdoor patio covers and trellises. It is usually called dryrot, but it is actually a mold which grows in wet conditions. The dryrot mold grows when the wood is drying after becoming wet. The mold likes the damp wood fibers, and will penetrate into the interior of beams and deck planks, especially in corners and seams where water is trapped so it cannot dry quickly. Dryrot mold can destroy the fiber strength so it is so soft that you can push your finger into the surface of a board. This is the reason why deck planks are usually spaced at least 1/4 inch apart, so the water can drain, and air can dry the space between planks. So we see there are two problems with mold -- a health problem and a structural problem. The structural problem can be solved by replacing the contaminated wood members. But if the wood has not lost its strength (no soft spots), then there is no reason to replace it. You can simply kill the mold so it cannot spread, then take precautions so new mold will not grow on the wood. How to remediate mold that is causing health problems? For the health problems, the usual method is to first remove all the mold from the surfaces that you can find. Then kill the mold with a fungicide. Ordingary bleach (sodium hypochlorite) will do this (You can also buy a commercial fungicide to kill the mold instead of using bleach). Dilute your bleach with half water or use your fungicide and spray all the surfaces that were contaminated, where you removed the mold from. Be sure to scrub the surfaces with a green kitchen scrubber or brushes soaked in the bleach solution. Then after everything dries for a day or two, paint it with primer paint like Kilz to encapsulate any microscopic mold spores that may be remaining on the surface. The primer will coat these remaining spores so they cannot escape into the air where you can breathe them. Note: These mold spores still contain the myotoxins even after you use the bleach or fungicide to kill the mold, so they are still a health threat. If you are sensitive to mold, then be sure to wear a mask with a filter so you don't breath the spores while you are working. Also wear rubber gloves, and even tyvex overalls taped at the wrists and feet to keep the spores from getting on your clothes. You can throw the overalls and gloves away when you are done with the mold abatement. This is the general procedure that people pay thousands of dollars to hire a professional mold abatement company to perform. About the particular problem of mold from the porch header circulating through the house, here are my thoughts: Generally speaking, there is no code that specifies when a piece of lumber has too much mold on it to be used for construction. There may be some local codes, but I can not imagine how they could specify the exact dividing line where the amount of mold or type of mold is acceptable or not. Ususally, if there is an ugly mold growth, a framer will discard the contaminated lumber and replace it. But this seems to be a judgment call by the framer. From the scenario above, I have visions of a framer who was thinking that its a whole lot of trouble to dig that header out and replace it, so it is good enough to leave it be. If the mold was really bad, the building inspector could tell a framer that the wood he used is not in good enough condition to pass the inspection, and require that he must replace it. I have never seen this done, but then I have never seen a framer use lumber that had mold actively growing on the lumber that he used for his remodeling other than that black spotty mold we often see on new lumber. If your building inspector has no problem with the header, then the only remaining objection is the objection that you raise. Your concern may be that you simply don't like the idea of using moldy wood to enclose inside your home -- (an objection which I agree with). Or maybe someone in your home is having health problems because of the increased mold spore levels inside the home. In any case, this is a problem you need to address with your framer, because there are no laws I know of that require him to remove it. It is best to specify that all the moldy wood is to be removed before any work starts, and have the cost of remodeling include this work. Otherwise, you are dealing with problems that could have been solved in the beginning instead of later. Some other notes about remodeling and mold: The mold from new lumber is not as toxic as some varieties which grow when persistent water is leaking onto surfaces in your home. Any surface mold on the studs is contained within the walls, and will stop growing when the wood has fully dried (less than 90 days). I doubt any of the spores will find a reason to move from the surface of the lumber past the drywall or to the ductwork where they can migrate to the interior of the home. During the remodeling, there may be higher levels than normal for mold spores and dust levels. But this will subside to normal levels after the construction is done. Unless someone in the home is super-sensitive to the surface mold that sometimes is found on new lumber, it does not seem like it will be a problem after the construction is done. You can take precautions if you are concerned, such as special air filters fitted to the furnace or even an electtrostatic collector to remove tiny particles suspended in the air stream. To answer the question: Is the framer required to use new lumber instead of lumber that was weathered outdoor for years? Probably not. It depends on local codes and what your local building inspectors will accept. Hopefully your framer will replace old weathered lumber it to keep you as a happy client and reference for future work he does. You can read here to learn a little more about residential mold problems: http://www.cdc.gov/mold/stachy.htm con_j

Yes, there are indeed scum out there, some of us even get the opportunity to call them "relatives" My story. :) My parents lived in a house for nearly 32 yrs. My brother ended up buying it from them at a great price. My brother's wife is a total spendaholic and who just can't say no to nice things. They lived in the house for the past 10 years. They ended up filing bankruptcy and put the house into it as well (this, in itself, ticked me off b/c my brother makes good money -right around 6 figures-their money issues have nothing to do w/ $$$ just bad spending habits). The week before the bank was to take possession I told my sister to call me as soon as they had left town (my bro and SIL decided to start anew half way across the country, dragging their 4 kids with them). My sister arrived first (I live about 1 1/2 hours away)and there were already scavengers at the house (my SIL had told them they could come and take whatever was left -they had already sold ALL appliances, including the pool heater). We sent the scavengers away and proceeded to spent the next 9 hours cleaning. We had no electricity, so it was priminitive at best. At the end of the day we had btwn 35-40 black bags of garbage! It was absolutely disgusting and shocking that my brother could leave a family home like that. BUT the best part about it all? My SIL (and my bro..I'm sure b/c of my nutjob SIL) went psycho on us, threatened us and told us never to speak to them again.... all for cleaning a house? If I can find the pics, I can show you the before and after. Absolutely unbelievable. And, this was FAMILY!!