Good fences make good neighbors. Put one up.

You also need to be careful pointing fingers as when you do remember that there are four pointing back at you. As holly mentions there are more than one side to every story, his, yours and somewhere in between is the truth!

You need a fence. First have a survey done to be sure of the property line. As for the gumballs, if they fall on your side, they are your responsibility to clean up. You probably have the right to cut off any branches that are hanging over your property.

Also put up a motion detector light that activates when someone steps on your property. Great way to stop night time invaders. I have dog walkers on my street who come out at night and let the dogs unload on people's lawns. Nothing like a spotlight shining to make them keep walking.

That's a wierd story. All the characters seem like very irritating people.

My neighbors' professional dog walker would have the dogs poop on my raspberry bush every day! I have another neighbor who goes on and on without pause. I peek outside to make sure they are not around before going to my car. My front yard has an 8' high wall with a lokced door. There is a big (fake) camera mounted in plain sight right on top. Guess why I built that?

Definitely get a survey. What I would do is treat the neighbors with a minimum of civility like I would anyone else. I would tell them I'm not sure where the property line is for my new house so I'm going to get a survey, just wanted to let them know. Have the surveyor put a permanent marker - this can be a metal rod flush with the ground so mowers do not hit it. Take pictures of where those are in case they dig them up.

If the fence is on your side, you might have to write them a letter stating that is the case. If you aren't going to make them move it, you can give them written permission to encroach, which protects you from losing that strip of land due to squatter's rights.

I agree that stuff that falls off a tree in your yard is yours to deal with. Unfortunately. However a lot of people don't feel that way. I have neighbors with a Better Homes & Gardens look to their place. We planted a tree on the property line years before their house was built which now gives them massive shade on their patio in the hot afternoon. They collect twigs and pile them at the property line for us to dispose of . You'd think they would appreciate the shade enough to take care of the twigs.

They sound like real nut cases, possibly paranoid or Borderline Personality Disorder (Google it, you might find it interesting). So far nothing is more than an annoyance except for the vandalism. I would act dumb and ask them if they've had any vandalism like that. I wouldn't use signs to communicate with them, it just makes you look nutty too. Put up the camera but don't tell anyone. And do it at night so they don't see you.

Above all, don't obsess over these nutty people. Let them do their thing and try to ignore them. I know it makes things difficult. At least they're old, maybe they won't be around long.

These folks obviously don't have 'boundaries' and don't respect them like normal people. They probably see it as trying to protect themselves in some crazy way. Your statement at the top of your post that they are trying to destroy everything you've worked for sounds like an overreaction, though. They CANNOT do that, and you will feel better if you remind yourself of that. Go about your business with confidence and try not to catastrophise. You'll be OK. If you worry and obsess, the darkness wins.

Keep us posted.

...after the survey but before you show the crazies where the pins/spikes are, have a few of your own available and bang them in parallel to the surveyors but perhaps a few feet away and deep enought not to be seen (still on the property line of course)....that way when the folks pull the pins out at night, you will have another set in place unbeknownst to them.

"I have a rather LARGE gumball tree. The idea that I should pick them up from the neighbors properties is laughable. If the tree bothered you so much, you should have considered that before you bought the property, maybe. Two sides to every story. I had a hard time following most of your story- but you both seem kind of crazy to me. Do yourself a favor and stop talking to each other."

Are you this person's neighbor? Sounds like it.

Lol if you claim to have read what I wrote then you would see that I also said I didn't mind picking them up just that they kill our grass, etc. So Angie, you can call me crazy but I never said they needed to to chop it, or that I refuse to keep bothering with it. You are right there are two sides, but if you're going to explain away that, explain away the fact that my car wasn't home yesterday and they assumed I wasn't home so, they came over and stole a plant? If you don't have any answers for this then, why bother? Two sides...to every story and perhaps even YOU are the maniac. I chopped my story because it was already LONG and didnt even bother to mention ALL of the things that have occured which doesn't help me in any way, just the culprit.

Also for those who suggested I just ignore them....if you have been actually reading you will see that's what we have been trying to do. But she only gets mad that we don't show her attention so she tries in much more annoying ways to get it from us. Like running an electric saw at all hours of the night....

I think most of us can recognize that they are engaging in some very nutty behavior. Keep in mind we don't know everything and haven't seen these people in action.

How late at night are they running this saw? There may or may not be an ordinance, but in most places it's generally accepted that 10 pm (give or take) is a reasonable quiet hour.

I would definitely report theft to the cops no matter how small. Did you actually see her do it? Yikes! I don't know if a noise complaint will do any good, depends on the time of night. With 'normal' neighbors you can just ask them to hold it down, but these folks obviously ain't. However, if you ask them to AND document it in your log (you are keeping track of events, right?), it gives you more ammunition for later.

Okay... being a confrontation person... I would NOT be nasty, but I certainly would't be neutral or nice and just positively reinforce their rotten behavior. Next time something is obviously off, just talk to her with a :"What gives? Why are you doing this?" And if she denies it...just honestly tell her how you view it and how irritating/wrong it is.

Just my confrontational 2 cents.

Thank you Zophra and Toxcrusadr....your advice has been most helpful while this has been going on. I really appreciate the fact that you can see how this behavior isn't normal. When reading about how they cannot ever destroy everything we worked for, it opened up a new positive perspective for me. After the first vandalism, I began keeping a log of every encounter i've had with this woman. I definitely reported the plant theft to police. She dug up and took a plant that my daughter helped grow and gave to me for Mother's Day. The plant had a label on it reading "my love for you grows every day" with a picture of my daughter planting it. Also found a few more of my daffodils ripped and chopped at the stems. I figured out quickly what the motive for this one was. she thought she'd be hurting me by going for my plants because of how much time I spend caring for them. Little does she know, at the end of the day they are still just plants and she is merely giving me another excuse to buy more seeds and double the amount i originally had. This proved effective the first time she cut my light wires. I got out there and put more lights up immediately after the police left and my fiance surprised me with some new plants and miniature greenhouse so that I could put my plants in a safe place at night. She hasn't touched a thing in it because it's placed on our porch where two very large windows would instantly expose her. I leave a container out to place gumballs in and show her that there is no beef between me and her about that. I understand that it's my responsibility to pick them up if on my property, I just didn't understand why she was so bothered by me picking them up. She doesn't have to bear most of the weight and yet any time she sees me picking them up, she will come running outside to push past me with her mower or even lie to me about having been picking them up.

I also have begun talking to other neighbors and politely asking them to remain vigilant. We live next door on the other side to a cop so we at least have someone who could help immediately if need be. (While not mentioning who we think the culprit is. No need to start gossip.) I took the advice on not continuing trying to communicate with signs. We took the sign down.We also found a pretty decent camera that we are having rush delivered. We will not even bother trying to forewarn anyone this time, because that only proved to be assumed as a challenge. she will be back and when she comes, we will be ready for her. We are also pulling the idiot bluff and just going on about things as if nothing ever happened. It's only a matter of time.

At night, when the kids are in bed I normally have a breather on my front porch and quietly read a book. (Making sure not to look in the direction of her home or yard) If i feel her eyes burning my neck, I sit on the steps next to a massive bush that totally blocks her line of vision and that infuriates her. So then, she begins to blast a table saw in her garage. She just switches it on and off constantly. It normally begins around 10 pm and goes all night. Even during the day, the minute I set foot outside, she begins. She sometimes gets up at 6am and begins cutting the grass, which may not be too early for some, but I could tell the other neighbors weren't too pleased.

Just as one of you said, I have not been over extending myself to be nice to her. I simply pretend like no one lives next door to me when she comes outside. The very first thing she does whenever I see her is turn around and look at me or in my direction. It's only to try and get me to look at her and I absolutely refuse to give her what she wants. Secondly, I noticed how I was beginning to drive myself insane and if I ever expect anyone to understand and believe my story, then I need to keep my behavior superior. She is one of those types of crazies who people would never assume to have a nasty M.O. just like you see in crazy neighbor movies.

There are emotionally unstable homeowners & some with dementia, you may be dealing with that & there are no answers, avoid them as much as possible but not saying "Hi" might make them think you are "against them" . How old are they, 80's, 50's ,"old" means different things to young folks. If you can casually talk to couple of neighbors & remark about the lovely area etc & ask if most neighbors have lived there a long time. That way you aren't singling them out. Maybe they move often, maybe someone will mention something about them. Suppose you could find out when they moved next door through public records, that might give you idea as to how often they move or if they are probably going to be there until a nursing home is in their future. Relative had unbalanced neighbor(had been hospitalized for it several times, police took him away many times over yrs) Police told relative to always be on guard & that neighbor could go off the deep end anytime. Used a gun to shoot up neighborhood right before they left town aimed at roofs so holes up there & in AC units.., Nobody saw it happen but neighbor bragged about it. And AC's had to be repaired or replaced. Thought everyone was "going to kill me" Can't reason with folks like that. Area your kids play in should be fenced & might want to check arrest or criminal records to see if neighbors could be dangerous.

You sound like you have a whole different outlook from your original post, and I mean that in a good way. Sounds like you are doing the right things and you have your head screwed on a lot better than the Texas Tablesaw Torturer. Keep standing tall and the wheels will fall off their jalopy soon enough.

won't keep bothering you all with this. sorry

This post was edited by whokilledmyflowers89 on Thu, Jul 25, 13 at 13:54

I agree she sounds completely crazy but I have to ask if your not as well for even noticing her behavior?

How do I unsubscribe form this post? I am tired of hearing this story. It is petty and ridiculous, seems at least partly fantasy, partly mental illness. It was sort of interesting at first but now it is just sad.

Lol once again, who is forcing you to read this??? No one. I was just posting a follow up. When did i say "oh this is really bothering me??? I just said i've done everything humanely possible. What bearing on my life does imitation have on me? None. It's simple, Angie once again. Why do you keep coming here if you don't want to read anymore is MY question for you??? I'm still forever wondering why not only cant you stop yourself from reading but WRITING as well.....and yet people want to point fingers in this direction.....Lol

Lol once again, who is forcing you to read this??? No one. I was just posting a follow up. When did i say "oh this is really bothering me??? I just said i've done everything humanely possible. What bearing on my life does imitation have on me? None. It's simple, Angie once again. Why do you keep coming here if you don't want to read anymore is MY question for you??? I'm still forever wondering why not only cant you stop yourself from reading but WRITING as well.....and yet people want to point fingers in this direction.....Lol

Why do people have to make such snarky remarks to other people. Isn't this a forum where people can discuss different topics?!?!?!

"Why do people have to make such snarky remarks to other people."

It makes them feel better about there worthless lives. JMHO.

I don't know if you're still reading this thread whokilledmyflowers89, but your neighbor's behaviors sound like manifestations of a personality disorder. I know another poster mentioned Borderline Personality Disorder, but you might be dealing with someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Clearly, I don't really know what is motivating this person, but many of the things you describe are very familiar to someone with the unfortunate experience of dealing with NPD. The sabotage, the competition, sending a "flying monkey" to do the dirty work, the obvious and grandiose lies, even changing into clothes similar to yours are par for the course for someone with NPD. If it is NPD, the absurdity and audacity of their acts can make you feel, look and sound crazy and delusional yourself - just for mentioning their behaviors. They do things that are that unbelievable and bizarre. Sadly, they often pick a victim from whom they can get narcissistic supply but at the same time, work hard to appear completely normal to everyone else. It usually works, too. If this is the case, there is not much you can do other than setting very firm boundaries, like not engaging with them ever, installing cameras and calling the police when appropriate. Adhere to those boundaries at all times. Good luck.

Here is a link that might be useful: Common NPD Behaviors

This post was edited by TheRedHouse on Mon, Jul 29, 13 at 17:17

To TheRedHouse, thank you for actually reading this and not feeding into other peoples' ignorance. The situation you described is exactly the situation we feel we are in. Not to say, there wasn't other great advice here, but your knowledge on this is greatly appreciated. We have never experienced anything like this before until we moved here. The link you included has been very informative and helpful as well! A little bit more of an understanding on this, is such a relief.

This post was edited by whokilledmyflowers89 on Mon, Jul 29, 13 at 16:21

We had neighbors just like that --- only worse. They are mentally ill and nothing will fix them. Just like our former neighbors they will deny any wrongdoing and blame everything on you. We put up privacy fences, plantings and anything we could to separate ourselves from them, it worked to an extent and eventually we moved. We later found out from former owners of our home that they did the exact things to them. Hopefully, the camera will be a deterrent and there must be some laws in your community about noise after a certain hour. Good luck.

I feel so sad for you that you have had to deal with these crazy problems. Some one killing your flowers and cutting your yard light wires has a real problem. I think you are doing just what you should do, ignore her when she is outside, call the police when necessary and get a camera. I have a laptop with out an installed webcam, so I bought and external one with a cord. Lucky me, I had to use it to document vandalism, and it worked great because it has a setting for motion detection. Worked great. I won. You may think of a way to record the saw off and on , but need a way to prove it, like a video recorder with sound and time date stamp. I hope you will be able to document this craziness and get it resolved. Our homes are our castles, and I hope your kingdom is peaceful and serene for you soon. Good luck and God bless. Keep us posted, please.

Sweet Gum trees are a pain in the back side for sure. I assume those that are falling on your property are due to over hanging limbs - which you have the right to remove any tree limbs that hang over your property - at your cost of course - and your tree guys have to conduct their work from your property and not encroach on the neighbor's property - there is effectively a defined line from heaven to hell where you are well within your legal rights should you decide to do this - would at least solve the gum balls from collecting in your yard from the tree - won't stop them from shooting this over with a mower - or worse out of spite collecting them and throwing them over if the relationship is that toxic - but you can take care of the part the actual tree plays in this

Typically if you are allowed by city ordinance to remove limbs, it must not damage the tree to the point of killing it. Whether or not this is actually the law in your locality, I would encourage you to take this into account anyway. It's the right thing to do.

Did you manage to sort this out? I have a very similar neighbour and thought she was mentally ill but she actually has some of the cluster-B a personality disorders, definitely sociopathy and NPD. She kept coming out into her garden every time me or the kids were out just to copy us, which disturbed my kids eventually because being stalked is scary to them. This is like 'keeping up with the joneses' and didn't really bother me too much, but add onto it that we can hear her in her house and she started doing things like running up and down the stairs constantly, slamming doors continuously, for hours on end every single day, has physically abused her dog, and just seems aggressive in general we're really concerned and don't want to live next door to her any more. Even more so because she came into my garden a couple of nights ago to just pull one of my Buddleias to pieces, no idea why as it's nowhere near being on her property. She might be jealous because my garden is better than hers (she has also hung some ugly lanterns over the fence into my garden and the wind didn't blow them in)? She also throws rubbish into our garden and lets her kids throw their cigarette ends in it as well. But it doesn't matter why she's doing this weird stuff, i just want it to stop and have no idea how to handle people with sociopathy or if it's safe to do so. Love to be rid of her and her disfunctional family. They are Matt and Debbie Hart, Devonport Way, Chorley, PR6.

I came upon your post when looking for help on keeping my neighbor from rearranging my landscaping. I laughed at some of the responses from those defending your neighbor. They must all stick together - I've actually started to wonder if they have a club with a handbook. Admittedly at times I wonder if it is us that are crazy. Then again I am not the one out in the dark at 10pm moving her landscaping rocks around her front yard - she is moving mine!!! At this very moment she is throwing firecrackers into our yard (she is 60+ by the way). We only ever have to endure her cries for attention for about 15 minutes at a time (takes 20 minutes for the police to get here). When we did call the police we looked nuts cuz she was long gone or locked in her house. So we let her go and consider it our very own reality show - sometimes it is better than cable. Ever see anyone powerwash their front lawn - maple tree included? I don't know if she has an official diagnosis but it is fascinating!!!

You could video tape it for the record...

Other than the trespassing and outright vandalism, the adult thing to do is to ignore it and not worry about it. It's probably too late now, but I would have pretended to be totally clueless about their hostility; waving and smiling any time they came out (especially if they are making faces lol); telling her "oh you don't have to do that" any time she mows over the property line. Tell her about the problems with the lighting and ask for her help spotting any critters or kids who might be messing with them. One of two things would happen, she would settle down and be friendly or she would escalate more and more trying to get your goat. That's why I would also install video surveillance; letting her know that whatever kids or critters were messing with your property would be captured on video. I don't know the configuration of your property, but if it was feasible, I might put in a shade garden bed full of hostas and whatnot covering the whole sticker-ball area. Let the little buggers turn into mulch.

If she has abused her dog, you should report her to animal control. She can be fined or even jailed for that, and that animal doesn't deserve to be abused. Now that you know that is occurring, it is your responsibility to get that dog away from her, before she seriously hurts or kills that poor animal.

I wonder if that is the neighbor I used to have. They would eavesdrop constantly. I could get them to trim their trees by doing some work on my side of the fence. The evil looks, threats, and general paranoia. The only real fix is to move or in our case they finally moved. You really have to feel sorry for people like that.

Your only recourse is to do as you have been and install a camera.

As for the Liquidamber tree, balls are part of the "experience" :) We used to have one and I eventually cut it down. It was a beautiful tree when in its fall color change but after a couple grand in sewer repairs it was history. My suggestion would be to remove the grass underneath it and place a bunch of mulch. Leave the balls where they drop in the bed. Other than an occasional weeding it won't need any unusual maintenance. One of the tricks of gardening is to realize some plants will not fit into our "ideal" landscape and that ideal needs to be modified.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions, no matter how off base they may be.

i hope all panned out. it's 4 years since u posted this. i just wonder if the older couple might have a problem with your not being married to your fiance.

No one is married to their fiance - by definition.

I would give TGAT meighbor her own medicine!!! That’s why the house was for sale bad neighbors like her! And I will write a letter to each neighbor to let them know what garbage this neighbor is and shame her in front of other neighbors! Send her a copy to shame her!!

This is clearly a person with a mental problem, probably a diagnosable one. It not only doesn't do any good to publicly shame the mentally ill, but it's not very nice, IMHO.

Someone has been damaging my lawn. I have camera’s, but somehow cameras go offline sometimes. We have been nice to neighbors, but people are nasty at times. Any other suggestions. I hate to think some massive conspiracy to get me.

"Any other suggestions."

Yup. Don't dust off a seven year old thread to ask your question.

HU- probably critters, some try to store nuts or just kind of loosen the top couple of inches, maybe racoons, possums or something else. I'm in Ca. & happens to me too.

What does this damage look like, how extensive, when did you first see it, when do you think it happened?

Thanks for sharing. lol

Hi I live in the UK, One thing that you can do is get fishing wire pin it about ankle high so next time she comes she will trip over, you can say you was using the wire to mark out plans on how you was going to do work on your garden! As for the large tree used a stong chemical to kill the tree! Next time be funny and tell them what or we're your going and say you thought that you should ask them for their permission first! Every time you see them, at top of you voice say morning giving them a big wave, they will soon start to hide!

Yes this is an old thread, but extremely relevant; especially in light of Covid and all the insanity it is breeding. I have two nasty neighbors, so I got the luck of the draw. One on each side. The neighbor to the left was syrupy sweet for a few months, but that turned. The neighbor to the right is anal as all get out but feels as if he is entitled to encroach on our property, move things, dig our fence up because he felt it wasn’t level, take deck tiles he agreed to buy from me, but never made good on, mow over my outdoor area rug, and “accidentally“ destroy various things. The man isn’t crazy, just anal and entitled at 50 plus years old. Worse than a toddler. Never apologies or offers to replace what was damaged. I have felt like retaliating in several occasions, but I always pull myself together. My husband is now seeing things more and more.

You are not crazy. Those that are calling you crazy must be “that crazy neighbor” to someone else or just plain evil and nasty. There are so many people in the world like this. A person entitled and miserable is extremely difficult to live by.

I pray your situation has improved. We are hoping to move in a year or so. I will be sure to pay extra careful attention to the neighborhood and make certain there is ample distance between property lines. I want peace!

if yout neighbor is a psycopath it will neverend be thankful they are old and wont be there long sorry ive lived thru 15 years of it., he finally died then his friend took up the torch, he moved, now his old bff who still lives in the neighborhood took up his torch its our cross to bear-it’s called pathological envy

I have same neighbor from hell

Vandalism property. Cars ect..Clothing theft housewares extra stolen and broken ..she has felons at her house all the time ..

And grand children are taught to steal and vandalize.....

No Law......by chance do you live in

Are you still living next to them, if so, are you still having these issues?