I so agree with folkv- keep the memories alive. It is so hard to know what to say and when to say it. But I feel that it really important to always speak of a child's parent. I think it can truly help them make choices in life even if that parent is gone. I have always tried to mention how my BIL would have felt about a given situation with both the kids and even my sis. He hated ties and I suggested to my sis that when his kids get married the groom should not wear a tie because dad would have thought that was funny. Would tick my mom off, she never liked my BIL, and that would have made my BIL laugh even harder. Even though someone has passed I feel their spirit lives on in us and can be so useful. ajsmama- I wondered how the service would go. Your post has brought me back 12.5 years to my having to watch my sis and her kids. It was something I would not even wish on my worst enemy. Please, stay in touch with these kids as much as you can. Family is so important even if it is just a card or call here and there. You seem to have such a caring heart, please share it with them. It will help you all. And one thing that is soooo important is that we allow ourselves to grieve and be sad. Everyone goes through the stages of grief but not in the same order. One may be quiet at first and yet the other is vocal. It may seem confusing but it is just our nature of processing grief differently. So don't be surprised by the kids behaviors, keep on your toes and don't avoid speaking about K no matter how difficult it may be. She is still their mom and always will be. Things, events etc will come up and it may feel uncomfortable. The best thing is to face things straight on. And you are right about the wedding thing. I told my sis that there is just no way to "avoid" everything without ruining the day. I told her that every guest there will be feeling the same thing, they all knew her dad. Sometimes the best way to deal with the sorrow is to not do the "oh, so sad her dad isn't here to see this" but rather "her dad would be so proud of her, this day is exactly as he would have liked it to be for her". I think it really is about how you choose to deal with it and to not focus on the sad but rather the joy of the day. She will figure it out and it will be a wonderful day. Again, wishing you all as much peace as possible.

Lydia, your post flooded me with memories of my sweet boy, Bear. He had the same symptoms. The first vet did an x-ray, but then said Bear was too large for it and he needed to go to another vet with a larger machine. He was a german shepherd. We took him there. They saw a mass in his spleen and said if it had not spread to his liver he could be treated and most likely recover well. They couldn't tell if it had spread without surgery. We did the surgery, hoping for the best. After putting him thru that we found out it had spread to his liver. Since then I have told everyone if I had to do it over again I would not have put him thru the surgery. He was my baby and they kept him at the vet for 3 days. They said it would be best if we didn't visit during those days. I did on the second day anyway. It was upsetting to him and to me to have to leave him. He had a few good days after the surgery, but he also had some days where he didn't want to move. Less than 2 months after putting him thru the surgery and spending $4000 we had him put down to end his suffering once and for all. That was 4 years ago today. I wish you and Kobi the best. You are in my thoughts.

Finishing up my remodel, I ended up easily going with 3000K. I actually had them all at 4000K and switched all of them to 3000K myself. While the 4000K looked really nice, felt like a showroom featuring my beautiful brand new kitchen and spaces, by night time we realized that its just too white and uncomfortable, like you can't relax. Per Judy's concern above, i have lots of lights, so the color at 3000K felt plenty bright and not too warm at all. 3000K color temperature is very comfortable. I think when you go to places like Lamps Plus, they use a lot of 2700K and thats where things feel old style and too warm. Also, when you have different lights in the same room at different temperatures, its very obvious that they are different. I would not recommend.

I know my posting doesn't matter to anyone, and that's ok. Just wanted to send you a hug and let you know, along with a lot of others, how sorry I am. I could have almost written your posting several years ago. Everything you wrote pretty much fit my DH. He was only 57 when we lost him. He was a workaholic and always put off going to the Dr., etc. When he was finally forced to go, it was too late. He did go through the Radiation, meds, etc., for almost 2 years before he left us. Please, everyone....please....get your DH, brothers, sons, male friends, etc., to have this Medical checkup. It is not just an old man's disease, like some seem to think, either. It is a curable type of cancer if caught early. Saying prayers for Jasdip and family for comfort and coping....and all who have gone through the beating that Cancer does to us. A couple of Widow/Widower sites help me a lot. They are out there, if you need them. They helped me to accept that it doesn't get better...but does get easier with time. Hugs.