two reference books that i have and that i think are good, are "Botanica" I picked this up at Barnes and Noble I think...and there was another good one that is the American Horticultural Society's A-Z Encyclopedia of Garden Plants. They contain a lot of good information, especially the American one, since this one has stuff that is more pertinent to plants that are grown in America. Botanica has prettier pictures but the info. isn't as good. They basically give some good descriptions and photos of plants, but if you are looking for something that is more specific to a particular group of plants then it might be better to get some books that are a little more in depth. Libraries are really good places to check out too, like Mohave Kid said. Good luck. Alex

AS, there is no "science" behind that particular ingredient, it's simply a matter of trial and error to get the texture my family likes. The juice and goo inside the tomato is much more liquid than the sauce is. I could cook it down for a long time and eventually get a similar texture, but then it tastes more "cooked", if that makes sense. I found that draining the watery portion of the juice and getting rid of some of the "goo" and seeds made the texture better for me. I don't like a lot of seeds in the salsa, so I remove some of them, that makes it more palatable for me, other people might not even notice. I do want the salsa thick enough to stay on a chip, so I add the sauce and I don't have to boil it for hours to make it thicker. Annie

Russ, I think men can write "girl books." Herman Wouk's Marjorie Morningstar is very much a girl book, I think. While I know they are not great literature, a number of Gothic suspense novels have been written by male writers under feminine pseudonyms -- I guess the thinking of the publishers was women prefer to read Gothics by what they think are women writers, which I think in the case of most female readers is bosh. A number of female writers have written quite effectively in the traditionally male bastion of war stories. Olivia Manning's recounting of the Battle of El Alamein in The Levant Trilogy is every bit as good as any male writer's, and Pat Barker's The Regeneration Trilogy is much lauded by both male and female readers. However, whatever the inroads female writers have made, I'm afraid that there's a certain segment of male readers who will pass over their books simply because they are females. An androgynous name, such as Barker's, has probably pulled in some unsuspecting male readers. As for the classics you mentioned, Russ: Tolstoy's and Flaubert's books -- even when their protagonists are women -- are more likely to be read by men than Jane Austen's novels are. Anyanka has already talked above about this disinclination of boys and men. I know present male company is excepted, but it's hard to say it's untrue of male readers in general.

I wanted to give an update, and thank everyone again for their thoughts and prayers for my mom. She seems to have done a full recovery. I call her the energizer bunny, she just keeps going, and going.... If you could all see how utterly frail she is, you could really appreciate that! Anyway, she seems none the worse for wear, and I expect her to see her 92nd birthday in April. ;) I would have posted sooner, but a week ago this last Monday, my best friend (the one I mentioned in this thread) called to say her oldest son was at the ER. He had passed away suddenly at the young age of 39. So needless to say, my life was put on hold til a couple days ago. I have not seen my sister much, which has been good. Some of the things I got out of this thread, and in particular the Gray Rock link, will follow. I highly recommend reading the comments at the end of that article, I got as much out of them (and am still reading) as I did the actual article. This is what I have come away with so far. 1. One reason I have responded to my sister in the past when I shouldn't have, has been pride. She has always lorded over me, in my mothers own words. And I suppose a certain part of me just doesn't want to let her have the last word. I'm not some dumb little sister, though she can often treat me as such. And has for most of my life. So, there's one thing I have recognized, admitted, and need to work on. 2. There is a part of her that appears totally normal. So much so, that I find it really hard not to hold her to the same rules that every one else has to follow. She can definitely discern right and wrong at times, and she can realize there are consequences to actions. Which is why I didn't just give her the silver. I wanted her to understand she had given them away. That she can't go through life throwing temper tantrums one minute and then be sorry and expect to be bailed out of whatever mess she made during previous said temper tantrum. Whether it was wrong or right what I did doesn't matter now, it's over. But she did contact me after the fact and ask if she could have one of two certain spoons. These were not with the set, and I had repeatedly offered her one at the time but she had declined. She acknowledged that I was not bound to give them to her, and if I chose not to she would understand. So see, she does "get" stuff. And for the record, I did give her one, and the one I thought she'd like most. She seemed really happy, as it was a really neat spoon. 3. Part of my problem is, I wear my heart on my sleeve. That only sets me up for more trouble and confrontations. I am not used to having to guard my words. This is something that is going to take some work, I am an open person by nature. So it's a real mental exercise to calculate my words. I'm working on it. But it doesn't help that she picks up on my "quietness"....... I don't know that all this will work quite like it did for others, but I definitely got some help out of it. See, she wants a relationship with me to some degree, so I don't see her just going away after she gets" bored". Maybe more so in anger or frustration because she will sense I don't really want to be her "friend". Which I hate. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but it almost seems inevitable. I love her, and desperately wish we could have had a real relationship. But, that was not to be. Thank you again for all your thoughts and suggestions and links and prayers and well wishes. It never ceases to amaze me how caring some people can be to a complete stranger. :)