I Need Your Strength

16 years ago

I have to say goodbye to my oldest brother tomorrow and I need your strength. Jim was just 57 and died suddenly Monday of a massive heart attack while he was chopping wood. This is the brother that used to live with Tom and I and we have been really close over the past 15 years.

The hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life was to call his son and tell him that his dad was gone. His son, Ryan, is 37 which is the same age I was when I lost my mother. I have to be the strong one in our family as my other brother and sister are not coping with this very well.

So if you have a spare moment tomorrow, please send your strength my way.

Linda

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (29)

jojoco
16 years ago
Linda,

I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad that you and Jim had the chance to become so close--that relationship will help you through this time and will undoubtedly give your nephew great comfort.
You are a strong woman, but even the strongest need someone to lean on from time to time. That's where we come in.
Hugs.
Jo
cloudy_christine
16 years ago
I'm very sorry to hear this. We'll all be thinking about you through this difficult time.

Karen
Related Discussions
Retaining Wall Strength Needed
Q
Comments (2)
Dax, I suggest that you go to some of the bigger home centers in your area and find out if they are having any seminars on modular block retaining walls (also called segmental retaining walls or srw). They often have free seminars sponsored by the block companies to enable people to build these walls, thus creating future sales. This would help you a great deal. Short of that there are a few basics. One is that you do not have to dig down below frost depth as these are designed to flex with freeze/thaw cycles. You should have a minimum of 4" of block buried with any of these products. The higher the wall the more you should have below grade. Different wall blocks have different strengths. Different soils as backfill create different forces on the wall. So, it is diificult to say exactly what you may need to do for reinforcement. You will not be pouring concrete footings or using rebar. These walls are reinforced using a material called "geogrid". It resembles plastic construction safety fence except that it is black and made out of totally different material. It is used to bind the backfill of the wall together so it acts as a large mass that outweighs the force working against it. The key to success is preparing your base material and drainage. If you can't catch a seminar, then at least go online and try to download user guides for the products that are available to you. They will give you the basics. Then ask the sales people in the supply yard. I would not recomend the sales guys in big box stores, but in more local masonry yards or home centers that deal with trades as well as homeowners. Also look at the ICPA website (noyt sure url). it is the international concrete products association (i think). They have lots of info there. The want everyone to learn how to do these well so they can sell more of it.
...See More
Pergola Strength - need opinions
Q
Comments (5)
There is nothing wrong with the design, but remember that a 2x4 will bow in time UNDER ITS OWN WEIGHT. All boards have a "crown" or a bow, some more than others. If you fell that sagging will be a problem, when you purchase the lumber look for rafters with a slight crown in them and make sure to put the crown facing upwards. This is one instance where you may want warped boards to make up for natural sagging. Make sure that the warp is in one direction, you don't want boards that are twisted. You should however pick some straight 2x6s for the joists, at such a short span, sagging will not be a problem. You may also consider using 4x6s for your joists. It is very easy to notch both the 4x4 and the 4x6 and have a "post and beam" look instead of 2 2x6s sandwiched on each side of the 4x4 uprights. I'm a newbie to gardening, but have a few decades of building houses under my belt. ;) This forum has helped me in more ways than I can count, will be happy to give you detailed instructions on the post and beam method if you choose that method.
...See More
please, I need your input...What watts are the bulbs in your rece
Q
Comments (12)
Bob, figuring out the best lighting for our kitchen was one of the harder decisions I faced. In retrospect I wish I'd put in more cans, and spaced them more closely for more even light. The amount of light from each bulb is plenty (75 watts) but there isn't enough overlap. Our ceiling is 8' 7" high, and the room is 13.5' x 19'. We put in nine 6" recessed fixtures, one small, lower wattage recessed accent light, and two pendants over the island (I haven't yet figured out the best bulbs for these yet.) Eight of the recessed lights have 75 watt halogen bulbs, and one has a rather dim CF in it. The accent bulb doesn't add that much general light. I don't have any of them on a dimmer because there's barely enough light as it is. Above the sink area (a 12' long run of cabinets) there are 4 in a row, about 2.5' to 3' apart. This is the only part of the kitchen that is very well lit. In the rest of the room I only put one above each cabinet. This gives enough light to see into the cabinets and work at the counters. But even when all the lights are on, the general room lighting is a little annoying to me. This is because it's so directional (focused down) and there isn't enough ambient light. It's a little hard on my eyes. It would be better if there were more fixtures, closer together. That way the cones of light overlap and you don't get the dark patches between them. An ambient fixture that lit up the whole room might also work. I'd say follow the guidelines to make sure the cones of light overlap. Someone told me not to listen to lighting store people or electricians b/c they'd over-recommend the number of fixtures needed. That was a mistake, I should have gone with more lights, and not try to save money by installing a minimal number. Good luck!
...See More
Love your soapstone countertop? Good, I need your advice.
Q
Comments (63)
Thank you so much Pluckymama. That is a great help (and you are right, they do look great). I am off tomorrow to see a few more slabs of SS (Minas and Beleza) and will take another look at the Nordic Black. The Mumbai Grey SS that I took a sample of is doing the same watermark thing you are experiencing (and wow, the mineral oil only holds for a day at most). Soapstone International has told me it has to do with the finish (which they 400 grit, but that sounded kind of crazy considering). As I was thinking about the watermark issue, I just wondered if anyone has tried carnuba wax? I say this because it is used on cars (stay with me), and on the glossy coating of candy (like M&Ms). My thinking? Food grade, OK. And if it buffs to the point that it protects car exteriors, it is obviously durable.
...See More
dedtired
16 years ago
Linda, how very, very sad. What a shock for you and your family. I certainly will keep you in my thoughts and in my heart.

Pam
doucanoe
16 years ago
Oh Linda, I am so very sorry.

I know how painful tomorrow will be, but over time the pain will subside and you will have all of those wonderful memories of your dear brother to hold on to.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Linda
caliloo
16 years ago
Oh my... I am so sorry for your loss. My dad dies at 57 too - much too young to have to say good bye. Prayers to you and your family.

Alexa
annie1992
16 years ago
Linda, I'll also be thinking of you tomorrow and sending strong thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

My condolences on the loss of your brother, 57 is far too young.

Annie
spacific
16 years ago
My thoughts and support are with you. It seems the older I get, the more I sense that it's not a matter of here or gone. One's presence lives on much past when the body gives out. May the closeness you had with your brother give you that well of strength you need at this time.

Ann
colleenoz
16 years ago
I'm so sorry to hear this. Like Ann I believe those we love live on as long as we remember them- they've just gone into the next room where we can't see them until it's our turn to go through that door. Hang onto your memories and may they give you strength. But, don't feel you have to be the strong one all the time.
vacuumfreak
16 years ago
I'm sorry to hear this as well, I will be thinking of you.
obxgina
16 years ago
Linda, I am so sorry. Sending you thoughts, prayers and strength to you today!
Gina
fearlessem
16 years ago
Linda ---

I am so sorry for your loss, and will be sending lots of love and support your way to make it through today and the tough ones to come...

Big hug,
Emily
goldgirl
16 years ago
Linda - I'm so sorry for your loss and am sending you positive thoughts!

Sue
User
16 years ago
Linda, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother when he was just 34. My heart goes out to you.

Ann
lori316
16 years ago
I don't know you well, but I can only imagine what you're going through. Good thoughts your way. Peace to you and your family
rob333 (zone 7b)
16 years ago
Linda,

You of all people, do not deserve this. You've had more than your share of bad things. I am so sorry you're having to bear this. Armloads of sunflowers and strength headed to you from me. Take care of your family.

-Robin
sally2_gw
16 years ago
I'm so very sorry this happened, Linda. My heart and prayers go out to you and your siblings. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Sally
lpinkmountain
16 years ago
Linda so sorry to hear of your loss. What a terrible shock. I am sending hugs and strength your way today.
Lpink
lindac
16 years ago
Right now I have strength enough to share....hugging you tight!!
Lidna C
claire_de_luna
16 years ago
Linda, Holding you in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry for your loss.
chancesmom
16 years ago
Many prayers for you and your family, Linda.

janet
diinohio
16 years ago
Linda, I am sorry for your loss. I have been thinking about you today.
It is very sweet of you to try to be the strong one, but you need to grieve too. Allow yourself.

Di
lsr2002
16 years ago
Sending you love, and prayers for peace and strength; I'm so very sorry to read about your brother.

Lee
arabellamiller
16 years ago
I am truly sorry for your loss. I wish you nothing but strength, peace and love.

AM
canarybird01
16 years ago
Linda I send you my condolences and strength to bear the sorrow of the loss of your brother.

I'm so sorry for you.

SharonCb
trixietx
16 years ago
Linda, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry about your brother.
User
16 years ago
Oh Linda, my heart goes out to you. I recall the incredible pain I had when I lost my sister. It lasted a long time but finally I got to a place where I smile, rather than cry, when I think of her.

I hope you get to that place quickly.

Sharon
jude31
16 years ago
I am so sorry, Linda. You and your family are in my thoughts and in my prayers. God bless.

jude
jimster
16 years ago
I'm wishing you the strength you need. I know it's hard. My brother was 42.

Jim
triciae
16 years ago
Linda, I have just read of your loss & want to express my condolescenses & wishes of peace for you & your family. It is always very hard to lose a loved one no matter their age & your brother was indeed too young. My thoughts are with you.

/tricia

I Need Your Strength

Comments (29)

jojoco

cloudy_christine

Related Discussions

dedtired

doucanoe

caliloo

annie1992

spacific

colleenoz

vacuumfreak

obxgina

fearlessem

goldgirl

User

lori316

rob333 (zone 7b)

sally2_gw

lpinkmountain

lindac

claire_de_luna

chancesmom

diinohio

lsr2002

arabellamiller

canarybird01

trixietx

User

jude31

jimster

triciae

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US