Normally I'd say I'm with you on this but I did receive a couple of heartfelt ecards from someone who was not in a place or position to shop for a "real" card to send me. Those were perfectly lovely.

I just don't open them. Most of the people who send them aren't internet-safety-safety enough to not get zapped.

I love "real" cards, both receiving and sending them by way of snail mail. The e-cards are LOADED, I can't emphasize enough LOADED with viruses!

Eileen, a heartfelt e-card from someone not in a position to shop, is completely different! I agree that could be a perfectly lovely gesture. ''Heartfelt'' being the key word here.

Sushipup and Gina, you know I almost didn't open the card just for that very reason. We recently had to cleanup some nasty virus that came from out of nowhere (or rather somewhere I don't know!) and installed new virus protection. Even with that, I think I'll ''ask'' my friend if she sent one, and tell her I don't open them any longer. It would probably be best to simply put an end to the way I feel when I get one of these! This one was more a generic e-message minus the card, which I can simply do without.

Don't get me foaming-at-the-mouth started. I'm with the anit-virus group.

Put the e-vites in there too.

I don't mind an email, person to person 'happy birthday' or other greeting in lieu of a card. Save a tree.

I DO mind other people giving MY email address to another website, without my permission. I can't talk my FIL out of that and I finally insisted he give me his password to BlueMountain and I took out my whole family from his addy book. He forgot and put me back in again. Sigh.

I agree, Jessica, I don't mind a personal email saying happy birthday, even an email note saying I'm invited to dinner or a party, and I don't mind that same email thank you note.

Don't send me the hallmark/blue mountain thing though, I've been too programmed about viruses and I just delete those, so I'll never even know you sent it...

Annie

When they were new, I used to get them a lot. I may have sent one once, but it was way laborious to look through them all to decide which one to send. I mean, standing in the hallmark store it takes 3 seconds to read a card. Plowing through each link and waiting for it to load takes forever!

I honestly don't mind either way if someone sends me one or not. I'm not good at remembering people's birthdays outside my immediate family so I certainly don't expect anyone to remember mine. If they want to send me an ecard, ok, or a regular card, ok on that too. I think I've gotten one ecard in the past two-three years.

Well now I feel a little ashamed of myself.

On the other hand, I often feel the lack of old fashioned courtesies which seem to have gone the way of pay phones these days. It doesn't matter whether it's an e-mail or snail-mail card...I often wish for just a little something more than what's completely obligatory. I see it with every two sentence ''Thank You'' card I receive (when I actually get one of those which is rare these days), or in this case, an e-message minus the e-card. It doesn't make me feel like there's much genuine intention, especially when there's nothing of a personal nature. I guess the etiquette of a situation doesn't always involve the ''social graces'', as it rarely happens any more.

Ah well, I'm an old Fuddy Dud I suppose. This point was well-aimed when I programmed the new ring tone for my cell phone, and DH commented, ''Oh! I see you choose Geezy Listening.'' Yes, Thank You Very Much.

What Jessy said..... does not need elaboration from me. Totally agree.
(CF birthday wishes are different.... I like to see those on the internet)

Eeeps!!! I hope I'm not the one who made you feel bad Claire!!!

You specifically asked about bday cards and that was what I was responding to. However, you are so right about courtesy being "out of style". I have MAJOR pet peeves regarding thank you notes and personal communication.

I don't care how high tech we become, I still want a hand written personalized thank you note when it's called for. (Showers and weddings for example.) I pretty much don't give more gifts to someone who owed me a TY card and didn't send one. And yes, I've had it happen, and yes, I didn't send a gift the next time one would have been appropriate.

So, I don't think you're a fuddy duddy! Or at least, maybe I'm one too. It's just that bday cards aren't that important to me, but that doesn't mean courtesies aren't.

May, no you didn't make me feel bad. I think I was feeling more...ungracious.

I wish there were classes in ''How to Write A Thank You Card.'' (You know, maybe it's because I care about words.) What's MISSING is...to go back to Eileen's ''heartfelt'' remark, is the addition of something HEARTFELT! Something like, ''I'm so glad you were able to attend my wedding, which made the day truly special.'' You see? That doesn't involve much, but might make me feel just a little bit better that I bought a dress, wrapped a gift, addressed a card, and made an effort to show up after driving XX amount of miles to attend! I also think sharing a personal memory of something that happened between the parties at the event, (or even at some other time in your life) adds so much more to the Note that's personal...which is a kind of reciprocal gift these days!

I;m with Jessy and dlynn. I don't open ANY ecard or einvite but fortunately I don't get man of them anyway. I am perfectly fine with someone sending an email directly to me to invite me to someting or send wishes about something.....

Alexa

Well I love any sincere greeting that shows someone is thinking of me...
I have a good anti virus program and I can dump my cookies now and then and run an anti spyware program.
I also can't believe the virus problem is as bad as you say. My son who makes his living with his computer and sends me e-cards and has used an evite recently for a kid party for his son.
I have a tendency to save real cards....and they do gather in large piles here and there!! LOL!

I do both. I always send a real paper card to family members and close friends. I also send e-cards to several people that I know enjoy them. But I only send e-cards from Jacquie Lawson's website. You have to be a member and the fee for a year is reasonable. My grandkids really enjoy getting the cards with Chudleigh that are pelmanism as in the memory game. The site is advertisement-free, no pop-ups, no spam and certainly no viruses.
Kat

Rosewitch I also send only Jacquie Lawson e-cards to my family members and find them quite tasteful and well-made with no ads, popups, spam or viruses because we pay to send them. And I add my own messages to them.

I know the family would also appreciate a real card arriving in the mail from Spain, but I usually send a gift or money on birthdays, so the e-card is an extra.
I love getting them myself and have never had a virus from them.

SharonCb

FYI, I'm wasn't logged in so I can see many of the ads. It gave me a laugh because right after Rosewitch's post there was an ad for Jacqui Lawson ecards! LOL

I don't send any or receive many ecards certainly won't open ones w/o a message attached. I do use evites occasionally. But I find that it's important to follow up with a personal email alerting them that they've received an evite.

I like Facebook for sending birthday congratulations to friends and family. I might buy you a card, but frankly I'm happy that I remembered the date...period!

My daughter sends them to me. She always picks a funny one. I always open it, and am grateful to have it. She is sweet and considerate and knows that I will get it on my birthday. She also knows I detest $4-6 Hallmark cards. I think they are a waste of money. Anyway, I have never gotten a virus from a card. My brother from Saudi Arabia also sends one to me on my birthday. Again, I am grateful to get it.

Oh great, you mean ivillage placed an ad for that site just because I mentioned the name? I am always logged in and use either Firefox or Opera so I never see the ads. I didn't see the Lawson ad either.

Sharon,
I really like the e-cards from that site; I still love the first one they did with the Christmas Cottage!

I am less than pleased with Hallmark cards these days too. Not only are they getting way too expensive but they just don't seem to have the great selection that they used to have; and I am really picky about the cards I send. I want the verse to really fit the occasion and the person I am sending the card to.
Kat

Well, I do like the Jacquie Lawson e-cards, and don't think the membership fee is a big deal. That could be an option, and I wouldn't mind one a bit if the message was...Heartfelt! I have received those in the past and thought they were a lot of fun.

I don't mind e-cards, although I did not know that they are carriers of viruses. Guess I'll be more careful about them in the future. I completely agree that the cost of paper cards has gotten ridiculous. I'm sure I look cheap, but when I'm in the store I look at the price before I even read the card.

This summer I got a wedding e-vite. It confused me! They never sent regular invitations at all. I could see perhaps sending Save-the-dates by email, but not a wedding invitation. The couple also had a wedding website which was where you were supposed to get most of the info about the weekend. Many people were coming in from out of town. They were not very good about updating it and the parents kept getting calls about what was going on, so guests could make plans.

I like getting cards via snail mail, but I like being remembered however the greeting arrives.

Sending or receiving e-cards puts you and your friends at risk!

If you don't think e-cards can carry viruses just Google ' e-card virus ' and you'll get over 7 MILLION hits.

Or check out Snopes.com link below, do a search for e-cards and read a few of their articles.

Not only do you risk getting a virus by opening an e-card you also put you and your friends at risk of getting even more SPAM by posting their e-mail address and yours when you send one... Not to mention the fact that you are giving that site permission to use your e-mail account to send mail.

While I'm on my soap box... When you Forward e-mail DELETE all those d**n e-mail addresses!!!!! -- Not only is it annoying to scroll through hundreds of e-mail addresses you are actually making it easier for SPAMMERS to glean legitimate e-mail addresses.

And when you send or Forward mail to more than one person use the Bcc line and NOT the To: line !!! - It keeps those addresses from showing up in the message, it protects your friends privacy ( I may not want so and so to know my address ), and it makes it much harder for Spammers to get their hands on the addresses.

OK, I'm done, for now.

Rita

Here is a link that might be useful: Snopes

Cdl I've been thinking about how you feel 'ungracious' and I get that. I think our world is changing....used to be one would pick up the phone to call, now there are people who only text. Scratching my head.

Hey Rita glad you chimed in. My guess is that Hallmark/Blue Mountain are pretty virus-free - what I am concerned about is them suddendly deciding to change their privacy policies and sell their database (including my addy that my FIL so graciously provided) to the world.

Jessy, I think people who only text are giving themselves permission to be narcissistic. You see, it IS all about them! If they take time to actually speak to someone, they may just hear a dissenting opinion, or have to deal with other people's ''stuff''.

Jessy is right. Many e-cards are available free because they are harvesting your e-mail address. Spammers will pay good money for current valid addresses. Then they blast you with herbal viagra offers... and worse.

The card is nice but it lets the wolf know where I live.

: )
lyra

I think of e-cards as I do gift cards.... impersonal and unthoughtful, almost offensive. Much like forwards, I don't open them either. Of course, I've never purchased a card in my life.... I make them on my sewing machine out of material or with construction paper... usually accented with pictures I've printed from the the computer (clipart and such) about that person or things they like to make it personal.

Here's the one I made for my grandmother about a month ago

Gawd, I didn't know e-cards contained viruses. I'm house bound, 95% bedridden. So, I've sent out about a dozen American Greetings cards (pay site). I don't think the recepients know about the viruses either 'cause they read the cards & respond.

DH isn't good at picking out cards for me to send 'cause he just doesn't get the sentiment I'd like to express. Guess I'll have to just send regular snail mail on personalized stationary I've used for decades for thank you notes & such.

Darn it!

/tricia

I send and receive ecards and evites, too, and have never had a problem with viruses from them. I'm going to look at snopes now.

But before I go, we're sniffing at "modern conveniences" just as our forefathers before us always did. My great grandmother, born in Chicago in 1872, would rail about Hallmark cards as being the height of impersonal "ap-cray!" A Mother's Day Card? No one would dare send her one. She never forgot any of our birthdays, and though we all saw her regularly, she sent brief letters to each of us - her children, her two granddaughters and their husbands, her nine great grandchildren, two great great grands - every year until she died in 1968.

She may have been unusual. She's the same woman who told me, her great granddaughter, to use disposable diapers for my kids. She said, "Honey, I used to have to wash my rags. The day they invented Kotex, we women threw those rags away and said "Hallelujah!" You should do the same with cloth diapers!" I wonder what she would say about our switch to having almost everything disposable now.

On the subject of paper cards - I *so* agree - they are outrageously expensive! I almost never buy them anymore. Has to be a very special reason! Or sometimes I go to the 99cent section and pick up something.

But mostly, I've reverted to using hand written notes. I've managed to find a few boxes here and there of blank notes on clearance, or I use the "free" ones I get in the mail for donating to charities. (Not all of them were from charites I actually donated to, but hey! if they wanna send 'em, I'm gonna use 'em!)

So, I just write Happy Birthday or (more often) Congratulations (grads, brides/grooms, expectant mothers) and maybe an extra personalized line or two and sign it. I don't know if anyone ever thinks "cheapskate" when they get those from me, but oh well! What happens to those $4 - $6 Hallmark cards anyway? Five minutes after they are opened and read, they go in the trash, don't they?

Oh Bobby, those are lovely.

I admit that i'm not much of a card kind of person anyway. I buy cards when I "have" to, when it's required. I open cards given to me and then I throw them away, $5 in the garbage just like that. Now that I think of it, I'd rather have an email and save the paper!

I gave up sending Christmas cards a long time ago too, and usually tell my family to save the postage and just tell me "Merry Christmas". They smile and shake their head and tell me that I'm just so darned practical, LOL, but I'm sure they are relieved that they don't have to address ONE MORE CARD...

Annie

To set the record straight on e-cards and viruses - established companies like Blue Mountain do not send emails out that have viruses in them. I don't know about other companies, but there are quite a few out there. Blue Mountain did have a problem but it was over five years ago.

Most viruses are sent through "phishing" - that is, the email SAYS it is from Blue Mountain or your bank, or Amazon, or some other trusted entity, when actually it is NOT sent from there.

How to tell if you're being "phished"? Well, at the very bottom of a standard browser there is a title bar. When you put your mouse cursor over a link, the address that the link is going to appears in that bar. If it doesn't say amazon.com or bankofamerica.com or what-have you, it is not coming from that site.

To try to fool you it may say amazon.something.com. That's not amazon.com. But something.amazon.com IS amazon.com.

There HAVE been instances of phishers who have been able to show a fake address in that browser bar. But they were able to do this only on Internet Explorer browser as far as I know, and IE may have solved this issue, so make sure, if you MUST use IE, or any other Microsoft product, to keep it upgraded and up to date. And practice safe web surfing - when you search for something, don't go to just any site that pops up in the search results. Look at the description and check the address in that address bar before you click.

I used to agree with you but my thoughts are changing on this. Now, if my DH sent me an ecard to acknowledge my bday I'd bonk him on the head. But I realize people have busier and busier lives and my birthday is not as important to them as it is to me, so if they remember it in any way I'm grateful. I will send ecards to nephews/nieces along with a note. I also like the "not killing a tree" aspect of ecards.

I just spent a little time today searching for a paper card to send to a family member who has a new adopted son. (I'm also sending one to his ''big brother'' who is five years old. He probably won't get too many of them considering how things are evolving, so the time is now!) It seems like the least I can do, to commemorate the beginning of their new life together. What's nice about paper cards is if the family scrapbooks, there's something to go into it. An e-mail just isn't the same. I really do believe certain occasions are worthy of a card. You know, even Hallmark has their 99 cent section, and I've known clever people who have recycled their old cards into a hand-made version of a keepsake. Because, there are people who keep cards! (I'm still looking at the sympathy cards sent to me when Luna passed, which make me feel better knowing she had friends. As easily as I can look up e-mail condolences, there's a small comfort in those cards which still give me a little peace.)

Cdl how about one of those programs that let you create your own paper card. You can decorate and write your own sentiment. You can even put in pictures, I bet, really making it personal.

This conversation kind of reminds me of what I just went through with my 13 y.o. nephew. He visited me for two weeks before starting high school last week.

His dad, my brother, won't get him a cell phone. "If he wants to call someone he can use the home phone!" "I don't understand this texting stuff." and so on.

So I accused him of being an old faht and a fuddy duddy. I let him know that all the kids communicate this way and it isn't up to us middle age folk to understand it. It's just the way it is. Cell phone is being chosen soon.

My 3 y.o. and 8 y.o. nephew and niece are completely computer and cell phone literate as well. The world is changing more and more quickly.

Ha! Just got my first L'Shana Tovah e-card this morning!

Jessy, I actually have one of those, but don't use it. I guess it's more fun for me to shop for a card...

I don't really receive or send ecards.
I make my own cards. Designed on the computer, printed much more cheaply than Hallmark!

I don't send Christmas Cards and would much rather see someone in person and wish them Happy Birthday with a hug!
I know this isn't always possible.

I'll always opt for a personal email though. I often create one that looks like a card with graphics, etc. for family members I won't be able to see on or near their special day.

It works for me.

Deanna