FIL finally began treatment today....venting

13 years ago

Hello friends....I guess I need to vent.

Several months ago my dear Father in Law Val began to have some minor trouble walking. An avid casino gambler, he began to get sharp shooting pains in one leg.
After rest the pain would go away so Val brushed it off as a symptom of old age and nothing more.
It continued until he could no longer visit his favorite casinos so he went to his family doc who sent him for tests.
The doctor did not seem to have a sense of urgency about his pain since it generally subsided with rest and advil.
The MRI concluded Val had several myoloma on the base of his spine....about the same time Vals pain level increased so an epidural was ordered.
Val was now seeing my spinal doc in Pa (small world).
Dr Sutton wants to run his own tests so the epidural was postponed, in the meantime we learn that myoloma responds well to a bone marrow infusion. My husband is an only child so a match may be a problem. Val has one surviving brother who is poor health himself.
Dr Suttons tests reveal not only the myoloma but colon, liver and lung cancer....it was during this time Val lost the ability to speak.
Colonoscopy took care of the cancer there....small specimins which was good news. Then a biopsy of the lungs was ordered and a port was placed.
All of this has been going on since spring and he as yet to get his d@mn epidural and his pain is off the charts!!
All the waiting for this, waiting for that and in the meantime he cant eat, cant sleep and has fallen into a depression.

Today is his first chemo treatment and once he recovers from it, he will finally be able to get his epidural and some relief....Frank and I are beside ourselves at the way he's been treated during this time.

I haven't put this on social media out of respect for my mother in laws wishes (she asked that we respect her privacy, my guess is she doesn't want the family to find out about this via twitter or facebook ect)

I am scared they waited too long to start treatment.
Its going to be a long haul for this wonderful sweet man!!

Thanks for allowing me to get this off my chest.

Susie

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (16)

User
13 years ago
Wow, you all have had a terrible spring. Our thoughts are with you all for the strength to get through this, and of course, for a good outcome.
dedtired
13 years ago
Oh Susie, that sounds like too much for one person to bear. Poor guy. I hope they soon manage his pain. You absolutely must be his advocate. He is lucky to have you there. Did the Mailman's parents move over to NJ, too?

Sucks.
Related Discussions
September Existing Homes Sales
Q
Comments (29)
There are so many variables that go into an economic forecast that make predicting the weather look easy. Like weathermen, they usually get part of the picture right but never have a model so complete that you can watch it unfold before your eyes. Until the capital markets gain confidence that the banking industry understands how to access risk in the mortgages they underwrite, you are not going to see a recovery. I think we are still in the discovery mode right now, so we have at least another year for the big picture to be understood and the issues addressed and fixed. Remember MBS's(mortgage backed securities) were viewed as a relatively safe play and often used as hedges against more risky business. That belief has been proven wrong and now the yield is deemed too low for the risk. This is one of the reasons the Fed has cut discount rate, to help improve the yield to attract investment. So far it hasn't worked. Fixing this issue is going to be complicated and may involve giving investors a better yields and requiring borrowers to put more money in the game. This means that fewer people are going to qualify for loans and the interest rates are going to be higher. Therefore, the cure may make things worse before they get better. Normally a bottom comes when there is complete capitulation and the prospect for the future looks its worse. In the residential real estate market that capitulation is hard to come by since people can simply not sell or rent. However, even if people were to start dropping their prices substantially, I don't know if that would spark a recovery since the money is not there to finance the purchases. As for when the recovery will occur, write all the years from now until 2015 on a board and throw a dart with your eyes closed. Where it lands is as good of a prediction as these economist's predictions. Just like a weatherman can tell you that global warming will make more Hurricanes, they still can't tell you when they will occur or where they will strike. Keep in mind that if we fall into a recession, as some are forecasting, all bets are off. During the last recession we used home equity to dig us out. Now that that is gone we would need business to step up and make investments. My feeling is that foreign investment is going to be the savior coming from all the places that depend on us to buy their products. Anyone speak Arabic or Chinese?
...See More
Encouraging study on Alzheimer's!
Q
Comments (18)
Thank you, alisande, who started this thread. My older sister (64 yr. old) starts having dementia, and the classic symptom of Alzheimer's (constantly accusing people) ... Your info. gave me hope. Here's an excerpt from alisande's link: http://abc7news.com/health/non-drug-treatment-may-reverse-alzheimers/336963/ "Ten memory-loss patients, some with brain-scan-confirmed patterns of Alzheimer's, participated in a small UCLA trial called MEND (Metabolic Enhancement for NeuroDegeneration). In the UCLA protocol, patients made dramatic lifestyle changes. They avoided simple carbs, gluten and processed foods. They increased their fish intake, took yoga and meditated. They were instructed to take melatonin, get adequate sleep, incorporate vitamin B-12, vitamin D-3 and fish oil. Within six months, nine patients saw a noticeable improvement in memory. One patient, who was in the late stages of Alzheimer's, did not show improvement." **** From StrawChicago: fish-oil is best absorbed in liquid form. We used to take fish-oil capsule ... but after reading someone saw fish-oil capsules floating INTACT in the toilet bowl .. I tested it: I soaked fish-oil-capsule in vinegar (same pH as stomach acid) .. and it took hours to dissolve !! We use NOW fish-oil liquid since it's cheapest on Amazon. The liquid is from Norwegian fish (cleaner water) ... The liquid-form of fish oil is often the freshest since they can't disguise the taste with enteric-coated capsule (takes even longer to dissolve), and these often pass through if one doesn't have enough stomach acid. Another one of my favorite fish oil is Barlean's Omega-swirl, it tastes yummy like a sorbet. My teenager daughter likes that taste & it helps to weather her puberty. I tried Barlean's at my local health-food store: tasted good & like orange sorbet, zero fish-taste. I also tasted the LIME flavor, and the orange cream flavor. My ranking: 1) citrus sorbet 2) Lime 3) Orange cream. Very impressive Omega-3 profile: 910 EPA, 590 DHA, and 370 other Omega-3 .... for a total of 1,500 mg of Omega-3 per Tablespoon. I bought the Citrus Sorbet, only one left in the store's refrigerated section. I prefer buying fish-oil at local store's REFRIGERATED section, it's fresher that way. Also saw Barlean's swirl at Sam's club, but not sure about its freshness.
...See More
Any Other Ghost Stories Here You Want To Share?
Q
Comments (39)
Don't know exactly what a "ghost" is, but I do think (even as a professional scientist) there are things we cannot always understand, of a nature we might call supernatural. . 1) I am a Pagan and a Wiccan. Yes it is NOT contradictory. My parents were out of town for a long weekend and I (while freshly employed was still searching for my first home - mid 1980s). So, I was doing a house cleansing. The only other sentient form of life in the house they had then was our cat, who was sleeping on my bed. (Okay there were mice in the drop ceilings downstairs.. at least at one point.) I went through the house banishing unhappy & unpleasant energies. Now, "feeling" things shift really means nothing when it comes to determine reality or verifiable proof, as I very well understand. I left the laundry region of the house. Suddenly, I heard something crash behind me. To explain the laundry facility. It wasn't something that would fly in ideal GW/H design, but there was a stackable washer/drier, and at least 4 feet away was the cat's litter box. Earlier, I'd put a heavy duty plastic glass atop the dryer part, centered. One of those with a double shell so you can keep beverages cold longer. Shortly later, I came back - that plastic glass was sitting in the litter pan. I checked on the cat - HE hadn't moved. There were no air currents in that room. I was home alone, and I can't picture any resident mice doing this! Four feet? Was glad I was doing the cleansing. 2) Mom passed away on the Ides of March, 2001. Dad was an avowed agnostic seriously verging on atheist. Their anniversary was May 17th, and would have been 51 years of them being married. On May 16th the kitchen clock they'd bought together stopped working. It was electric, no batteries. He showed me on the 17th when I'd come over to be with him on the anniversary. He didn't unplug it. On the 17th, 48 hours after the clock had stopped, it began ticking and keeping time again. I think this kept him being more agnostic than atheist for the next decade. But I am not really sure what he thought as he eventually developed dementia. Not my story, but I believe my friends. M & T lived in an old 40s apartment complex, seriously falling part. This was in the late 60s or maybe 1970. They had little income, and the landlord was trash. The apartment had a doorbell that did not work. The place was heated by gas. One night in the middle of the night, they were wakened by the sound of the (non-workable) doorbell ringing. They awoke and noticed something was wrong. There was a whiff of gas. They got out of there, and raised the alarm for everyone else. Yes, there was a serious gas leak that otherwise might have killed them. Also while they lived there (before and after that happened) they had a cat that kept rubbing itself up against non-existent legs. They did some research on the building, and discovered something to the effect that the original architect had built this complex early in his careet, and had done his best to make it the best place possible. He'd died young. My friends believed that his spirit still hung around and provided their timely escape from deadly poisoning. ^^^^ What do I think about things? I am willing to entertain various explanations, but I don't really think science is quite ready to explain it all. (But what science does, it can do well.)
...See More
What Do You Know About Palliative Care and Hospice?
Q
Comments (49)
Chisue, I have always enjoyed your contributions to discussions here. .I am sorry you have these health problems. I don't tend to post here, but I have been coming here since the early1990s using the name Sheilajoyce. I live in Southern California and used Hospice for the past 18 months for my husband who had vascular dementia and congestive heart failure. Our local hospital sent an Hospice rep to talk to me when he came home from rehab, but I chose the Hospice group that my doctor recommended so that he would continue to be our physician of record. Within a few days of returning home, DH could no longer manage the stairs to our bedroom. I had been hiring care givers since rehab because he would refuse to use the walker or wheelchair and then fall. Care givers are not provided by insurance or Hospice. You hire those people yourself. I used an agency that the case worker at rehab suggested and really liked the ones I hired regularly. The aid workers changed diapers and clothing, did his laundry and changed his sheets, twin extra long for the hospital bed, and fed him. I preferred to cook his meals, supplementing with the Ensure. .Medicare covered all the costs providing a hospital bed, bed table, wheelchair, walker, special mattress pad to prevent bed sores, shower stool, commode, oxygen, all prescriptions, diapers, Ensure, bed pads, skin care and otc meds too. Some of those things you have to ask for, so speak up right away. Hospice gave me a kit of emergency medications to keep in the refrigerator, including morphine. A nurse came weekly, and a bath lady came three times a week to give showers or sponge baths. I hope this information is helpful.
...See More
User
13 years ago
Hopefully he gets his epidural soon they really help. Praying for wisdom for docs. Brighter spirits and less pain for Val. Courage for family to push when they need to and wait when they need to. And for the Chemo to kill that dag blasted "C word"
pkramer60
13 years ago
Someone needs to rip the doctors a new one for not taking care of him and his pain. If MIL doesn't do it, can your husband have a heart to heart with the doctors? With less pain and a better mental state, he will do much better during chemo.

I wish him and all of you the best.
compumom
13 years ago
How awful! Sending best wishes and positive thoughts for his comfort and care.
tami_ohio
13 years ago
Sending prayers Val's way, and that of the family.
User
13 years ago
Checking in did he get his epidural yet? How are you doing?

You are in my prayers
susie_que
Original Author
13 years ago
Hi friends.
Its been a few day after chemo and Val is ok. The first few days were fine then day 3 post chemo hes so sick.
I remember mt sil said about 2-3 days after the nausea began for her.
Nope, no epidural yet.....im flabergasted about that!.

Frank is doing ok....holding up through this.

Peace!
Susie
User
13 years ago
"no epidural yet.....im flabergasted about that!." I would be too did they say WHY they are holding off I think I would be wanting a darn good reason.
sally2_gw
13 years ago
I'm so sorry to hear this, Susie. I can't imagine what your FIL is going through. Between your experience and Annie's, it's hard to trust any doctors any more. Shesh. I sure hope he gets help soon for the pain. I tell you, doctors that treat patients like that should themselves become patients.

Sally
susie_que
Original Author
13 years ago
Hi friends,

I just wanted to let you all know that Val had his epidural all this afternoon!
boy what an ordeal all of the waiting and testing and poking and prodding .... he's been in such intense pain it just breaks my heart .

his next round of chemo is on Tuesday then the following week my family is taking a much needed vacation and it's my wish that he's well enough to come down for a couple of days .

he is very weak he has lost about 20 pounds so far but after his
Chemo he has absolutely no appetite and relies on protein drinks to hold him over

hopefully the next few days will bring him the relief that we are wishing for!

Peace,
Susie
susie_que
Original Author
13 years ago
Hi friends,

I just wanted to let you all know that Val had his epidural all this afternoon!
boy what an ordeal all of the waiting and testing and poking and prodding .... he's been in such intense pain it just breaks my heart .

his next round of chemo is on Tuesday then the following week my family is taking a much needed vacation and it's my wish that he's well enough to come down for a couple of days .

he is very weak he has lost about 20 pounds so far but after his
Chemo he has absolutely no appetite and relies on protein drinks to hold him over

hopefully the next few days will bring him the relief that we are wishing for!

Peace,
Susie
rob333 (zone 7b)
13 years ago
((((Susie and family)))))
User
13 years ago
So glad he had his epidural it just doesn't make sense to me that they waited so long. Maybe now that the pain will be less he might be able to eat a bit more.

Praying
susie_que
Original Author
13 years ago
Its really good the epudural is starting to kick in. He has less and less pain with each passing day!
His next chemo in Tues so im hoping it wont be as bad and they are able to make the drive to visit our beach rental!
annie1992
13 years ago
Good wishes to you and your family, Susie. I'm glad they finally did something for Val, I'd have been raising all kinds of heck on his behalf, I think. Geez.

It sure would be nice if he could make it to the beach with you. You're all in my prayers.

Annie

FIL finally began treatment today....venting

Comments (16)

User

dedtired

Related Discussions

User

pkramer60

compumom

tami_ohio

User

susie_que
Original Author

User

sally2_gw

susie_que
Original Author

susie_que
Original Author

rob333 (zone 7b)

User

susie_que
Original Author

annie1992

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

FIL finally began treatment today....venting

Comments (16)

Related Discussions

susie_queOriginal Author

susie_queOriginal Author

susie_queOriginal Author

susie_queOriginal Author

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

susie_que
Original Author

susie_que
Original Author

susie_que
Original Author

susie_que
Original Author