Dharma has filled out since her arrival. She has learned sit and down. Here are recent photos.

She has a lovely soulful face.

I hope she does find a good home. She is such a beautiful dog too. Loved the photo of her and the baby! I want to hug her every time I see the photos you posted. I always had big dogs growing up.

BTW, we were told Elvira was a "woman" only dog when we got her 10 years ago. She avoided men and preferred the company of women. It didn't take her very long to warm up to DH and son. Now she runs to the door when DH comes home and has to have a 5 minute rub down before he can come inside the door. And at night, when he is here, she has to lay next to him, touching him, on the sofa. So things could change for Darla. It depends on the man.
Clare

If you are looking for a big dog to rescue, contact Joanne at Big Dawgs Rescue. (925) 337-6377 She rescues and places dogs all over CA. She is not breed specific. She is located in Livermore.

Her Facebook page has all the newest additions and calls for help and is more up to the minute. https://www.facebook.com/bigdawgsrescue

Her website has information about adopting, the forms, and links to some dogs she has in foster homes and in boarding.

Here is a link that might be useful: http://www.bigdawgsrescue.org/

Thanks for the information.
Clare

Stop pretending, Eileen, she's yours. ;)

(She'd be mine if she liked men and was on the East Coast.)

Nope, she's a FOSTER dog! I really can't keep her. But she thinks she's my dog, that's for sure. I am very fond of her and want to be a great home where she feels secure.

So the young couple didn't work out? I hadn't read this thread until now and I was hoping for a happy ending. Although the change in Dharma is a happy ending...she looks wonderful.

Eileen, you are my hero. Our little shelter would love us to foster, but I am not emotionally equipped...I can't even go to a shelter, and I cover my eyes when those sad Humane Society ads are on tv. I do my part...drop off food, support their fundraisers and at Christmastime we have the local pet store deliver treats and toys. And we get our critters before they get to the shelter, get them shots, fixed, whatever they need. We wouldn't be able to cut loose if we fostered....we'd be overrun.

Dharma does a mean Downward Dog, lol.

The young couple was supposed to return for one more visit a few Sundays ago and then take her for a sleepover. They didn't come and have never called me. I suppose I could call but I imagine they changed their minds.

There was another woman with 2 Great Danes and three other dogs who really wanted her. But her live-in boyfriend and her adult son told her she had enough dogs already. I had to agree with them but didn't tell her so. That fell through just this weekend.

Eileen

Wow, she's looking so good! I'm always surprised at which animals get adopted and which ones remain unchosen. I'm involved with cat rescue rather than dog rescue, but I imagine it's somewhat similar. The cats I think would never be adopted get chosen, and the ones with great personalities stay in foster or at the adoption center for what seems like forever. Dogs, of course, take much more effort to care for, especially big dogs, but even so, you'd think it would be easy to find a home for such a beautiful dog. Okay, not necessarily easy, but doable. I wish Dharma and you all the best in finding the perfect forever home.

Sally

The rescue person hasn't really promoted her except when I nudge her and only on her FB page not anywhere else. And because of her "man" issues she's become a sort of special needs dog. The rescue person is an hour away in another town. She holds adoption events there but I haven't been able to take Dharma to one of those.

Dharma may do fine in the right home with the right man but I think it will be simpler to place her with a woman/women/single mom. If it didn't work out she'd be back at my house or another foster and I think that would be confusing for her. She really knows the routine here and is comfortable.

A friend of a friend is interested in helping Dharma find a good home. She is a vet tech here in town and does some rescue work.

I will keep promoting her on my FB page with new photos now and then.

I plan to go see Daniel and Alice in about 10 days so I'll have to figure out something. She will not do well in a boarding situation but I'll ask around. The only person I know who might want to house sit is a young man. And she already doesn't like him. :( He does my yard.

Sally and Katie, I don't do any other "rescue" work except the fostering and I've only done that twice. I would have a very hard time going into the animal shelter, though the one here is very new and quite nice. I am always haunted by some lovely animal didn't take home. I do give bags of food on occasion to transients with pets in tow. The animals always seem to be friendly, happy and fed if not very clean.

I don't know how things work on the west coast, but out here most of the successful groups post dogs for adoption on Petfinder (via their rescue link) to get a larger audience. That's where most people looking to adopt go first, and it's especially necessary where the potential adopter pool is already limited - in her case, by her aversion to men and the fact that she's large. Facebook can be helpful, but it's generally the same people seeing the same info over and over. She really needs to get seen, both online and in person.

The rescue woman has dogs listed on Petfinder but not Dharma. I'm not sure why.

Ideally someone local can visit a few times before she makes the move. She is skittish on a good day about new situations.

Eileen, I was 'talking' to a friend who raises/rescues Great Danes near Palm Springs. She suggested posting on http://www.facebook.com/groups/danesandtheirhumans/ . Said they had two find homes this week.

Thanks Katie! There is a Dane rescue closer to home. I'll try both.

E

I posted her there.

Eileen, that's very thoughtful of you to give pet food to the homeless for their pets.

Sally

Eileen, I keep checking back to see of your wonderful dog has been adopted. I keep hoping!

Nothing yet. A friend posted her to her page and someone in town might be interested. She lost a dog in February, I think a Dane. But she is married and the man-fear thing might be an issue. Dharma is MUCH better about men, especially ones she knows. And there is a perfect person in Sacramento. She has a Dane with men issues and a German Shepherd. She lives alone. She has my number but hasn't called.

Fingers crossed. Though I will miss her.

E

Fingers crossed, Dharma may have a new home. I have been very frank about her "men issues" and they understand that rescue dogs often have behavioral problems. They have had several rescue dogs through the years. They have a walnut ranch out in the country and people will dump dogs at their property.

They took her for an afternoon visit and then kept her overnight and all day. She just came back and tried to follow them when they drove away so she obviously likes it there. They have orchards and grassy lawns and a grandchild (in the photo) and another Great Dane, also rescue. So she was in heaven. She did a little bit of growling and barking at the man in the house but not too much and they are willing to work with her. She is frightened but doesn't go into any kind of attack mode. She wants to scare the bad man away if she can't run away.

The woman is going out of town for a few days. She will pick her up on Sunday to stay forever. I really hope it all works out.

E

Sounds like you found Dharma a nice new home. I'll keep my fingers crossed that it works out for everyone.

~Ann

Hallelujah! Eileen, you're a very special person to take on an unfamiliar pet with issues for an unspecified time. Dharma is very lucky to have found a home with you!

I sure hope it works out for Dharma and her potential new family.

I'm trying to wrap my brain around a walnut ranch! Saddle up, move em out, git along little walnuts! Yeehaw!

Sally

Oh....I sure hope it works for them....then you can foster another big one.

I'll be sad to see her leave you, but that looks like a great home for her so I'm keeping my fingers crossed too that it works out.

You are indeed wonderful for fostering the dogs.

Lee

I'll take a HUGE dog breather after this one. Something under 100 pounds would be nice. The first one was 140 at least, Darla is close to that after putting on some weight here. What I find interesting is that her coat has darkened a lot. She used to look mostly brownish, now she is almost all black and very shiny.

She's been a sweetie pie and I think she's bored here today after her big adventure. She'll ask me for a walk later on.

E

I hope this one works out. It's time for Dharma to be settled. This sounds ideal for her. Crossing my fingers they go through with the adoption.

I think they will follow through. I will know soon. They will take her for an extended stay or forever on Sunday morning. I feel good about this one. If not there are some other interested people.

E

E - bless you for taking such good care of this dog and for truly looking out for her best interests. I have worked in dog rescue for over 6 years and have fostered over 40 dogs, and it can be heart breaking and magical at the same time. Hope Dharma finds her forever home soon.

Any news?

It's not going much better with the husband. She is fine with him outside but inside at night she still barks and growls though not as much. She is going to talk to the vet today about her behavior. Spaying her might help some.

It's only been a few days. I think it will take a few months to really know if this placement works. If not she will have to go to a home with no adult men in residence.

Otherwise things are fine. The granddaughter loves her. The dogs get along great. She is bonded to the the wife.

Good that she is still there. I bet spaying will help. Over time she will get used to the husband, too. Good luck to Dharma/ Darla.

I sent her this article. It's the best advice I found so far for helping a fearful dog.

Here is a link that might be useful: Shy dogs.

I don't even want to think about happened to the poor thing to make her react to men like that. Really hoping stability and familiarity and kindness will fix it. Sounds like you've found her a good place.

It's hard to know why she became so fearful. She doesn't act as though she's been beaten. She doesn't cringe, she just pulls away and hides if she can. She could have been poorly socialized and little positive contact with men. From what I've read, the fearfulness might be a combination of breeding, breed and poor socialization. Great Danes are very sensitive dogs and respond poorly to anything but very positive training techniques.

I hope she gives it a month. If Darla continues to be fearful it wouldn't be right to leave her there and she will come back to me until I can find her the right home.
E

If they can identify her triggers, they may be able to work with her. For example, if she acts fearful/aggressive when he enters the room at night, they could teach her to sit at the far end of the bed (away from the door) when he enters the room, and have him give her a really good treat (cheese, pig ear, marrow bone- something extra special) and then ignore her. Sometimes dogs 'forget' to react when their minds are on a task, and the simple counter conditioning from learning that him entering=treats can work miracles, too. It may also help for mom to step firmly in front of Dharma as dad enters the room, so as to send the message that she is greeting this intruder and determining whether he is allowed to enter. I'm crossing my fingers that she's found her forever home!!

I have not reported back because things were up in the air until very recently. After about three weeks there she was still growling and barking at the mister when ever she was inside the house with him. I was fairly sure they would be bringing her back to me. They hired a trainer who has been to the house several times. Apparently she has worked wonders. The mister can pet Darla and walk her on a leash. At last report things were still needing work inside but were better. They are much encouraged and are committed to keeping her.

The trainer was of the same opinion as I that she probably hadn't been hit as she has no head shyness. The guess is that she wasn't socialized with men in general and comes from a backyard breeder situation. The trainer also thinks she is very young, 15 to 18 months old. She still has that loping, gangly run. And she still wants to chew things, shoes are especially vulnerable.

I have a feeling that if the granddaughter and Darla were not so in love with each other she would be coming back here. :) I do think it's a marvelous home for her. Orchards, another big dog to run with, large grass lawns (she loves grass), and her very own girl child to play with.

I'll check back with them this week and see how things are going.

E

These are photos I took the day before she went to her new home. The change in her appearance from the day of her arrival here is pretty dramatic.

So happy to hear! She is such a beautiful dog.

We got a cat from the pound. He was starved for attention, but also terribly afraid, I've not seen a cat behave that way before. He spent the first year living in our basement, running away when you turned on the light, like a rat or cockroach. Little by little he became socialized. Now he lives on the main floor and runs up to us, rubbing our legs, head butting, etc. Time and kindness can do quite a lot. I hope the same is true for Darla. If the man is in charge of feeding her and walking her, and those activities take place or start indoors, I imagine she'll come to associate his presence indoors with positive things? I've owned dogs, though I'm no dog expert. I just never saw a dog who didn't welcome anything and anyone involved in the feeding and walking process . . .

Wow, Eileen, she looks beautiful. Her coat is so shiny. I sure hope things continue to work out.

My son needs to find homes for a German Shepherd and mini Aussie Shepherd that belonged to his girlfriend.

Sounds like a great home for her. The man thing will just take time, I'm sure of it.

As for head-sensitivity and being hit on the head - many dogs just don't like being patted on the head or have someone stand over their heads. It doesn't mean they've been hit on the head. It's not polite in dogese to be greeted head on. You're supposed to greet by sniffing the backside. Odo prefers not to be pet on the head, and he will bare his teeth at bigger dogs that stand over him head-to-head. That's not allowed, but any size dog is welcome to go to his backside to greet, LOL. If someone goes to pet him on the head, he will duck away. Also, many of the thousands of children and adults who are bitten by dogs every year are bit because they rush a dog head-on and reach for the dog's head with their hands.

For a man-sensitive dog, men should ignore the dog, never approach head-on, and use a softer voice around the dog until the dog is comfortable. Dogs are very gender-aware and have gender-specific behaviors.

Signed Me, Cesar Millan Junior! LOL.

Anyway, I hope these folks keep Darla!

I understand, Gina Millan. ;) She doesn't cringe or flinch like dogs who have been hurt will do. The trainer calls that head shyness. Darla just bolts if possible. When I walked her on the street she would often refuse to pass some man standing at a corner until he moved on. Or she would pull far to the other side of the sidewalk. When a prospective adopter was walking her around the block she did the back out of the collar trick before they knew what was happening and ran back to my porch. They had encountered a man walking down the block that Darla decided she wanted no part of. She just spooked and ran.

Darla likes dogs one-on-one just fine. But when every dog at the dog park wanted a back end sniff of the new dog, she wasn't pleased and sat down and snapped a bit. I removed her.

I'll send a message this week and check on her man in the house progress. I want to ask about the methods, too, in case I encounter this again.

Beautiful dog!

She may have come from a place where the man was mean to the woman.

Darla was due for her her spay this week so I checked in with the new owner. She is doing really well with all men and inside the house at night. Darla and the other older Great Dane who was already there are joined at the hip which is so sweet. He is really old at 11 for a Great Dane. Darla is keeping him young.

Now that the walnuts are being harvested they have discovered Darla loves walnuts.

Her spay was postponed so I will check in again when that happens.

E

WOOHOO!!!!! So glad it was a happy ending.

Hooray, I'm so glad this is working out so well for Darla.

Now another big dog in need can get some foster "love", that's a good thing too!

Annie

I miss the big girl but I know she has a great home with all the things she really loves. My house was rather boring. No other dog, no small children - though there are neighbor children, no lawns in the back yard, no orchards to run in.

I don't know if I'll foster another dog anytime soon. The rescue person is in a town an hour away. She occasionally needs a foster here in my town but not often. She doesn't seem to pull many dogs from the shelter here. Though if I said bring me a dog, she probably would. She likes to keep fosters with puppies close to her for adoption events. I do not want to foster puppies so that's fine. She has a lot of Pitbulls and I don't want to foster a Pittie. I think they are fine but I have neighbors with small children and dogs and they would not be comfortable.

We'll see what happens!

E

I would like to say that it is also possible that the woman who owned the dog before taught the dog to be hostile to men - I think it is wrong to blame men for the problem without knowing the entire history. People very often teach or transfer their own fears/phobias onto their animals, and if a woman shows fear of men when she is walking her dog, the dog will learn that men are not to be trusted. Some women are more paranoid than others, and I have seen this happen in such cases. I think it is more likely that the owner is to blame for the phobia than that the dog was treated badly by a man. If a dog is treated badly by one man, that is not enough to cause a general phobia, but if a woman shows fear of all men that she encounters while walking her dog, then that is a very strong case to make for the phobia coming from the owner. There are lots of dogs who have been trained to be hostile to people of different races, and this is also taught by the owners. I personally think that there are a lot of women who get large dogs primarily because they have a fear of strange men, and this fear may be justified for the women, but when it gets transferred to the dog, it becomes more irrational, since most men are harmless and should not be singled out as untrustworthy people.

The men I have known have treated dogs equally as well as women, and yet I have encountered many hostile dogs that were owned by women.

My boss has terriers (I forget which type), and one day she asked me to come to her office when she had one of them (I'll call the dog Surrey) in her office and had me wait at the threshold. Surrey barked wildly as I stood at the threshold, but after I entered the office, the barking stopped. Then I took Surrey for a walk. As it turned out, Surrey had a fear of men only at thresholds but was otherwise fine with us. I think this is a fear that could have been learned, but Surrey died a tragic death in the Northridge Earthquake before the dog psychiatrists could determine the cause of the phobia. I think people should be very mindful of what fears and phobia they may unconsciously be transferring to their pets.

I also want to say that I think most women do not train their dogs to be hostile to men, but I do strongly believe that there are plenty of women who do. I personally have a phobia of large dogs, due to having been bitten by at least three of them on separate occasions when I was fairly young, but I do appreciate the Great Dane next door that has reduced to squirrel population in my immediate vicinity.

Often dogs become aggressive and fearful when they are not ever exposed to people outside their own immediate owners. Dogs need to be socialized from an early age and introduced to other dogs, cats, and all kinds of people. If they have a negative experience or even no experiences at an early age and no good ones to follow that, I imagine fear aggression to keep the bad thing or unfamiliar thing away is a likely consequence in some dogs.

My in-laws last set of sibling Miniature Schnauzers were a good example. They were acquired as pups from a breeder who breed show dogs. They were pampered and certainly not abused. They were never exposed to anyone but my in-laws and the groomer. They could not tolerate any visitors and would hide under the bed and growl. One was slightly more social than the other but not much. They were awful little dogs who would go into an ear piercing barking frenzy when anyone came or left the house.

I disagree that women routinely train their dogs to be hostile to men. That's a pretty broad negative assumption about women. Dogs will often become protective of their homes and owners as they mature. Even my big soft hearted Yellow Lab who loved everyone became protective as she got older. I discouraged her from growling at people who came to the door, however.

Darla is young enough to be trained to accept new experiences easily. I think the environment in her new home is much healthier for her with a parade of family members and workers, young and old and male and female coming in and out all the time. I live a pretty solitary life with few visitors. I did take her out for walks and to play with the neighbors' dogs. But I think she could have become firmly entrenched in her fears at my house.

I learned that Great Danes are very sensitive dogs. They are subject to depression like people.

Eileen

I agree that dogs are very prone to being fearful of things that they haven't been exposed to a lot. I found it interesting when reading the book Scaredy Dog, the author talks about her dog being absolutely terrified the first time she saw someone wearing pants instead of shorts. Openness to new experience is strongly affected by temperament in dogs just like in people, and then whatever bad experiences they have probably exacerbate that tendency to be fearful. Men are also bigger and stronger and the majority of fearful dogs are a little bit less afraid of women than men. BF's dog was raised by him and certainly hasn't had bad experiences with men, but the only two people he's ever randomly growled at were guys. And even aside from size, I'm sure they can tell gender by smell. Heck, even your average baby is probably more comfortable being held by a female stranger than a male stranger. There can also be some intervening variables- for example, a lot of dogs are afraid of people wearing hats, and men tend to wear hats more often than women. Women are also innately more and/or socialized to be more aware of their own emotions and body language as well as the dog's, and this makes an enormous difference, because dogs are hyperaware of body language. Almost everything I read about helping fear aggressive dogs and dog body language is written by women. By and large, with some exceptions, men just think it's silly, and that the dog is trying to be dominant or that they can just correct the fearful behavior. When I took my last foster to meet her new family, the woman sat back and let the dog come to her and held her and petted her, while the man went chasing after her wanting to play, and she ran away and hid behind me. I don't think she had any innate fear of men- she liked male neighbors and so forth, she was just scared by him pursing her. Often the woman will give more affection and attention to the dog, so that the dog becomes attached and therefore protective of her. I am probably more afraid of strange men than strange women, and that could be transmitted to a dog, but it's kind of a chicken-or-the-egg question, because the same factors that make men scarier to women make men scarier to dogs (and other men, for that matter!) too.