skip to main content

I'm going to be a mother in law!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10 years ago

Got a call from DD today, she's holidaying in Europe with her long-time BF. Last night they had a wonderful dinner in Lake Como, went for a walk beside the lake, and he popped the question with a ring he had made and had carried with him for the last three weeks.
We're sooooooooooooooo excited and happy, we love this BF like a son already.

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (15)

Teresa_MN
10 years ago
Congrats! And even more fabulous that you are already fond of the guy!

Teresa
Lars
10 years ago
How romantic!! That sounds like the perfect start to a marriage. You and your DD are very lucky, but you deserve it. Let us know when they set a date - I like following things like this for some reason. I have designed and made dresses for weddings before, and so I am particularly interested in what they will wear.

Lars
Related Discussions
How to handle a very rude mother in law?
Q
Comments (22)
luvstocraft has written an excellent post, IMO. I agree with her completly. I'd also like to add something for you to consider. I unexpectedly lost my own Mom was I was 19. She was my best friend. Painful loss. When I married, I was overjoyed to have a Mom's presence again. Not that MIL would/could replace my own mother but she was there for me when I had questions or just needed to talk. We developed a strong, loving relationship. In time, I called her, "Mom". I'm certain my real Mom watched my relationship with MIL bloom with pleasure. She would not have wanted it to be strained in any way. My MIL was not a perfect woman. Neither am I. She cooked different than my mother. She raised her children different than I was raised. Her accent was different. Her mannerisms were different. But, her love was the same...I've no doubts it was genuine & came from her heart. MIL often told me that she worried raising her two sons that, someday, she would have bad relationships with her DILs...and how happy she was that I accepted her. Her worst fear of her son's marrying was rejection. She was afraid that her importance in her son's life would be reduced to an obligatory phone call on Mother's Day. She was afraid her son would spend all of the Holidays with his wife's family because she'd taught him to honor his wife. She'd raised her son to be independant & strong. That left her afraid he would no longer need her in his life. When the grandkids came, she was afraid her DIL would always turn to her own mother & there would be no place for her in the grandkids' lives. We lost MIL 3 years ago come the end of June. We lost FIL January '08. I miss them both terribly. I believe our relationships are what we make of them. I became the daughter my MIL never had. She became the mother I lost. It worked because we both put forth great effort to bridge the differences. We talked together, we argued with each other & then apologized for harsh words, we cried together over silly girl-stuff, we disagreed & then agreed it was OK that we viewed something different than the other. Someday, your MIL will be gone. You will either view her as a valued & cherished member of your family or you will be bitter & angry at your differences. The choice is really up to you. The ball is in your court to either allow her a place in your family & heart, or not. Like it or not...woman are the glue that sticks families together. There's an old New England custom...summer homes are popular here (they're called "camps"). When the patriarch/matriarch of the family passes...the "camp" is often willed to the wife of the oldest son. Yes, the property goes to the wife. Why? Because it is respected that women will hold the family together & even through difficult times the summer house will be filled with family laughter making good memories. You are the glue between your DH's family & your own. You can embrace that responsibility & honor it...or you can reject it. We reap what we sow. The next time you see your MIL...greet her with a genuine from the heart big hug & a smile, tell her how glad you are to see her looking well & that the kids can spend some time with their grammy. Then, look in her eyes. Look hard. Watch them soften. Someday, you may find yourself in the role of MIL. Be a good example to your kids. Sorry, I don't mean to sound harsh. I'm getting old & I've lost a lot of family. Don't wait until they're gone to appreciate them. /tricia
...See More
Help! I'm feel like I'm going crazy...long
Q
Comments (55)
Ladies may I join you in this discussion? I am a young healthy looking 62. And today is my first visit here after looking up adrenaline I sure understand better now That's what I have going on MY NATURE'S PACE MAKER.working. Adrenaline After a stay in icu heart recently everyone finally agreed i am mot crazy.it was.my heart. The docs installed is a device catch my heart acting badly is a heart tracker like halter monitor. Under my chest muscles on top of my heart. I can cause it record what just happened.. iam write with excitment because your stories are all so familiar. These stories for me begin after mitral valve repair. 7 years ago. Basic problem ..unless the doc sees the heart behaving badly they deny the problem. All this time we never could catch it Last doc said bluntly if we dont see it didnt happen. You must to er Well recent at 230 am it woke me up, just as you have described. I went directly to the er They caught the serious thing! Arrithemia and more then two days in icu. Now meds have slowed my heart from 70 to 52 while docs decide what to do. Last night I realized I was having an adreilin rush. The same rush I went to a neurologist for help. Over a year and half. Often it also affect my skin. Goose bumps crawling feeling all day long! Well have I got news for him.I was not crazy about that either. my gp I visited last month just to say. I know you don't know what is wrong but I still got it. Knows too I sat in neros office two months ago ,,,same thing. I said dr i just want you know ME when I end up in er..and i need you. well it was er straight to icu. Home now with electrical issues. Last last night meds have my average at 52 bpm.it woke me. 2 3 am. I use my tricks to get back to sleep.as soon as felt sleep coming on the stomach feeling spread. It woke me up heart pounding.sweat .out of breath!!! Happened several times . then checked average heart rate on my Garmin. 48. Average 48 so i was probably lower. Maybe 45! My natural pace maker kicked in every time sleep lowered bpm and I was short on air. Natural pace maker? Adrenaline can't wait to see what was recorded on my device Thank you body! Now I think i know what as going on for long time hidden from doc view. Electric shock adrenaline style
...See More
Mother in laws disparaging remarks
Q
Comments (35)
I'm laughing reading these! It's amazing how rude people can be, isn't it? We get comments all the time from people. "When are you going to finish this, you should just bulldoze it and build new, yadda yadda!" I get so annoyed! I truly think that some of it is jealousy. Alot of people would be too intimidated to take on a historic home, and when they see what hard work can do, it gets them a little jealous. What makes me mad is the fact that if I were to make a comment about their ugly, lifeless, no character new home, I'd be a witch, but they can say whatever they want about an old home in the process of restoration! WTH?? That always makes me so mad! I don't have a MIL, she passed away years ago. My FIL is married, and she's a witch. She hates us and can be really jealous about our house. My FIL has a really old house, but there isn't a speck of character in it. The old woodwork is all gone, the outside is vinyl and has none of the original moldings, and the porches he put in are all concrete and he had aluminum columns which didn't at all go with the house. When new wife came in, she had the house resided and porch posts replaced the columns, but it still has no character, so she's really jealous of our place. Our local newspaper did an article on our home, and she NEVER has mentioned it to us, and we know she has seen it. We live in a small town, and she works in the village hall, and countless people have commented to us about it, and we know they have commented to her as well. I'm sure that made her blood boil! lol She gets the paper and so does the village hall, so she read it. She also won't come to our house for our children's birhtday parties. She conveniently needs a vacation every 4 months, just when our kids have their birthdays. She avoids our place like the plague! I find the silence and ignoring almost more annoying than mean comments that I could say a witty comeback to. My BIL also has made countless comments about our house, he's such a little jerk! I do give him comebacks. He's the one who is a childless bachelor that loves to give out child rearing advice as well! *roll eyes* He's an incredibly jealous person though. Anyway, I loved reading all of these! It's nice to have a thread to vent on! lol
...See More
What to do when Mother in law is the mother
Q
Comments (13)
I agree with collen, moving would be my first option. If that's not possible, unfortunately there isn't a lot you can do. Even if your DH were to say something now, it's gone on so long there would be mutiny. They are not going to change how they've done things for so long, just because you want it... believe me, I've beaten my head against that wall. I would say to focus on your child and leave DH to deal with his kids and mother. This is THEIR problem, not yours. What you DO have control over... YOU choose what you want to do for his kids... and his mother. If DH is gone & MIL has something to do, be busy. Do not be her backup babysitter. You have the right to say no, you're busy. If they call to see what's for dinner, don't tell them. Say, "I haven't decided yet. Are you going to eat here or not?" and do not play the game. It's a blessing if grandma feeds them... saves on your food bill & less work for you, cooking & clean up. You aren't going to change them but you can learn to assert yourself to take some control over YOUR life. They are treating you like a doormat & the biggest problem I see here is that your husband is allowing it. The least he can do is back you up when you decide to back off and leave it to grandma. If he can't cut the apron strings... well, he needs to decide if he is your husband or their mama's boy? He can't be both. It's one thing to have a relationship with the parents, but when you are married & have a family of your own, that comes first. And do not allow her to come into your house to "check" anything. Lock your doors if you have to. And I'm sorry that they ignore your son but to be honest, why would you want your son to have much to do with them? They seem a little overbearing & nuts... as for gifts, it's hard but not much different than when the other bio parent buys something for them. A good life lesson of life is not fair and not everything needs to be equal. Your son is probably at an advantage because he doesn't have such crazy people as part of his family.
...See More
User
10 years ago
Congratulations Colleen. How exciting. Nice that you are gaining a son. But having known you "virtually" for probably 12 or 13 years, I would say that your new "son" is also lucky to be gaining you as a Mom.

Have they set a date?

~Ann
User
10 years ago
What wonderful news.

And long overdue. We've all been wondering why it's taken him so long to propose, after all, she is a wonderful girl, he's very lucky. LOL
dedtired
10 years ago
Oh Colleen, that is such good news! What a romantic proposal, too. Best wishes to the young couple. That fella is lucky to have you for a MIL.
annie1992
10 years ago
Oh, hooray!!! That is wonderful news, and so exciting.

I also agree, the guy is darned lucky to have your daughter, and as a result, you as a MIL. Be sure to tell him that. (grin)

So, is there a date? And most importantly, will you be cooking for the wedding shower?

Annie
colleenoz
Original Author
10 years ago
Thanks everyone :-) I've been hoping they'd make it official for........I dunno..........about 7 years now!!!! No date set but as both are avid Aussie Rules football fans I can guarantee it won't be Grand Final weekend in September :-D
Knowing Elle they'll be decked out in the very latest trends. She has.......very definite ideas. I only hope she doesn't decide to choose what I'm wearing because I bought some gorgeous turquoise silk brocade in Viet Nam to have made up for my MOB outfit because the colour looks good on me :-)
We've always really liked DD's fiance since the word go, he's a lovely young man who is very good to his mother (a good sign :-) ) but not a "mummy's boy", and he's always been kind and helpful to us and very indulgent to DD :-)
I hope I'll be allowed to help with the cooking :-)

This post was edited by colleenoz on Fri, Jun 7, 13 at 6:01
arabellamiller
10 years ago
Oh Colleen! I'm so happy for you - congratulations to the happy couple.

Wishing them, and you, many happy years!

AM
compumom
10 years ago
Joyous news, congratulations! I'm so happy for you. A friend's daughter is also recently engaged to her boyfriend of 7 years. His mother's comment was that she hoped they wouldn't have to wait another 7 years for the wedding! Please keep us posted on all the fun details!
I love the way he planned and proposed, she's a lucky gal!

This post was edited by compumom on Sat, Jun 8, 13 at 0:12
mitchdesj
10 years ago
Congratlations for me too: planning for a wedding is always fun !!
sally2_gw
10 years ago
That's great news, and you are all so lucky to like each other. I've always loved my parents in-law.

Sally
doucanoe
10 years ago
Congratulations to the happy couple! Sounds like they have a good, solid foundation for a very happy marriage!

Linda
gellchom
10 years ago
Hooray! I'm so happy for you.

Please promise to keep us updated on wedding plans.

A big mazal tov to the whole family.
colleenoz
Original Author
10 years ago
Thank you everyone for your good wishes. It's lovely, the happy couple plan to pay for the whole shebang themselves, although all the parents no doubt will make a contribution (which we have suggested they put away in a savings account rather than increase their budget).
DD (amazingly, to me who has known her these past 28+ years) wants a simple wedding with only family and close friends, although as the groom is the youngest of six and has many cousins, there will still be about 80 guests. We don't ourselves have a huge number family and friends to invite- I have no family left (that I speak to- only brother is toxic) and DH only has immediate family and one uncle. Add godparents and another couple of friends and that's us done and dusted. They also won't have a large wedding party, DD thinks maybe one attendant for her and possibly two for DF.
DD is toying with the idea of a tower of macarons for her "cake", and/or possibly as the favours, which she has said I could bake if I wish. As a macaron lover I'm happy to practice, the best part will be sampling :-)
We have the engagement dinner tomorrow night, this should be fun :-)
annie1992
10 years ago
Colleen, you're probably at the engagement dinner now, I hope you're having fun.

I still haven't made macarons, or I'd volunteer to help. I guess I'll just have to be moral support. Or maybe immoral support, LOL, go ahead and have a couple more macarons, can't let those tests go to waste!

Annie

Related Stories

HOUSEPLANTS Mother-in-Law's Tongue: Surprisingly Easy to Please

By creative jewish mom.com

This low-maintenance, high-impact houseplant fits in with any design and can clear the air, too

DECORATING GUIDES Go for the Glow: Mother-of-Pearl Shines Around the Home

By The Sky is the Limit Design

Illuminate your interior designs with ethereally iridescent mother-of-pearl tiles, flooring, accents and more

INSIDE HOUZZ What Mom Wants for Mother’s Day

By Sheila Schmitz

You’re right about a nice dinner and time with family. Here’s what else will make Mom happy this weekend

MOTHER’S DAY Create a Cheery, Romantic Mother’s Day Tablescape

By Rikki Snyder

Surprise Mom this weekend with a relaxed and charming table setting with special ingredients you may already have

HOME OFFICES Room of the Day: Beautiful Whimsy for a Busy Mother’s Home Office

By Becky Harris

Gold accents, antiqued mirrors, lovely botanicals and proud peacocks make this room a favorite in the house

WINTER GARDENING 6 Reasons I’m Not Looking Forward to Spring

By Benjamin Vogt / Monarch Gardens

Not kicking up your heels anticipating rushes of spring color and garden catalogs? You’re not alone

KITCHEN DESIGN See-Through Refrigerators Dare to Go Bare

By Lisa Frederick

Glass-front fridge doors put your food and drinks on display, for better or worse. See the benefits and disadvantages

COLOR Going Bold With Just Enough Color

By Bagnato Architecture & Interiors

Using color with restraint inside and outside can be far more effective than a less subtle approach

DECORATING GUIDES Edit Keepsakes With Confidence — What to Let Go and What to Keep

By Laura Gaskill

If mementos are weighing you down more than bringing you joy, here's how to lighten your load with no regrets

SAVING WATER Houzz Call: Are You Letting Go of Your Lawn?

By Annie Thornton

Many facing a drought are swapping turf for less thirsty plantings. If you’re one of them, we’d like to hear about it

Sponsored

More Discussions

Musings On Calorie Restriction Cooking

82

Shrimp Creole with okra, for two

16

30

Lemon curd tart w/strawberry - glaze needed?

39

Can I seal vacuum bag with an iron?

4