I'm sorry that you might lose your house. Have you been to the real estate forum? I've been going there a little over a year, you are not the 1st one this is happening to. If you do a search, you should see other posts. There are a few people that hang out there that may be able to offer you advice. There are also forums at citydata that might help you. Right now though, the best thing I can say to you is to get the house listed for sale. This might buy you some time and will show that you are serious about working to pay off your debt. Hanging at the real estate forum, as I said there have been other posts, from what I've read, and depending on how the house is taken, you might be responsible for part of the money owed if it ends up at sheriffs sale and does not sell for what is owed. I don't think that some people realize this. There is a house by me, it's been on the market since last May, the sheriffs sale was in October, and while they finally moved out in November, the house is now listed at the bottom price and still not selling. After a year on the market & almost 6 months where it was supposed to be sold at sheriffs sale, it's not looking good that these people will get the house sold, which is a shame as it's not a bad house, especially at that price. There are other people by me that did manage to sell before going to sheriffs sale, maybe you will be lucky? I am a very emotional person. We had money problems and had to file bankruptcy awhile back and our mortgage payment is astronomical! We had to refinance several times to pay off debt. I am working double shifts to help pay the mortgage and I am sick of busting my butt for a house whose monthly mortgage should be about $600!!!!!!! To be honest our house is okay,we built on an addition a few years back,it needs work,the ceiling leaks,the main bathroom is small and to be honest,I am kinda embarrased to have my kids bring over their friends. I am trying to find some encouragement and stuff to get me through this emotional draining time. I try to be rational such as,1:we are healthy 2:DH & I both work 3:the kids are happy and doing good in school. 4:we have never had a fire 5:we still have our belongings. Please I need words or thoughts of encouragement and fast before I lose my mind. Thanks You need to step back and breathe. Someone I care very much about is actually in your same shoes. They emailed me saying they wanted to refinance or something, where they would get money back. I told them what a bad idea it was. I told my friend to seek financial counseling, and will offer you the same advice. They have been struggling for years trying to keep the house, and like you both of the parents work more then one job but can't seem to get ahead. Do a google search for credit counseling in your area. It's been very easy for people to dig themselves in a hole the last few years. It amazes me how people can keep getting more & more credit, digging themselves deeper. The banks & credit companies should be ashamed of themselves for qualifying people that should never have qualified. I know another person that just filed bankruptcy (no house) a year ago but continues to blow money like water & just bought an unneeded car that they can't afford. I don't know where this person thinks they will get bailed out again. They are not learning from what happened. The thing that stinks the most, it is bringing all of us down. My hubby & I are actually not in your shoes but are having a hard time selling our house due to the amount of foreclosures, so it affects everyone. You do heave your health, kids and jobs. Maybe with financial counseling you can get back on your feet again? Please look into that stuff now. The sooner you take action, the sooner it will be over and you can move on with your lives. The way you come out of this experience can make you a better person, learning from what happened and not doing it again. Hang in there. I hope I don't sound like I'm preaching because I'm not. You are not the 1st and surely will not be the last. Hopefully someone at the real estate forum can offer advice, or you will find a post there similar to what you are going through that you can read to get ideas. That particular house by me that won't sell, the mother died from breast cancer a year before my dad died. I imagine they got a home equity line to help pay medical / funeral. The person that did sell by me, they kept getting equity lines and spending foolishly. My dear friend, well she's had a very hard time health wise and almost died. While she does not want to sell her house because of her kids, I don't see any other way for her right now. Perhaps Hoovb and others are right. A fresh start and rent a more affordable place could be the solution for you and your family. As well as trying to not fall back into it. If it sounds too good to be true, it is. Cut up the credit cards, get rid of the cable TV & cell phones & what ever else you can. If the kids have paid activities, stop those as well. I know how hard it is to make ends meet. I buy in bulk as much as I can, we don't eat out and we try to use the grill even in bad weather as it's cheaper then getting the stove going. I've also changed the way I wash clothes, use a cycle with less washing time and, while I dry clothes, I take things like shirts out when they've been in 1/2 way to hang & dry the rest of the way. I also shop sales a lot and haven't had a day of shopping in a long time. I also don't make unnecessary trips with the car as gas is outrageous.

Don't feel bad about calling too many contractors. You want to have 3 good bids. That means the bids you consider are from contractors that you would really want to work with. If you take away 2 of the 3 bids because you don't feel the contractor is right for you, make more calls until you have at least 2 solid, comparable bids. To find these good contractors, you will need to actively seek recommendations from friends, neighbors, church people, or some sort of community support network that you belong to. To call blindly, or by looking for advertisements, listings, etc., will not get you in contact with the right contractor. The best quality contractors with the most competitive prices do not spend money on advertising, or try to solicit for bids. This would raise their cost of business significantly. Instead, they have a steady supply of work lined up from referrals. For that they can offer a very competitive price. Best indication of quality is to check on some work the guy did a couple of years back. That is why referrals are the best. The person referring you can show you something the contractor did.

Well slept on the couch last night ( what a joy) after yet another arguement about S.D. with my wife. This last week has been filled with the same crap different day. So heres the scenerio. My wife and I work differing shifts most of the time, so I end up spending most of the time with my S.d. After school and evenings, my wife works mainly 4 - midnight shifts. Last week was more of just the same, my s.d talking to me anyway she feels like it ( totally no respect ) and a week of mainly all out battles between us. Yesterday, i argued with her for 4 hours trying to get her to clean her room, when i can't see the floor and there are dirty dishes in there, its time for her to clean it, finally i just gave up told her to do whatever she wants, live like a pig, i'm beyond caring, and i stopped talking to her for the day. Now over the week she had lost her computer time, phone time and tv time for lying to us about her school homework ( telling us it was all done, after parent teacher confrence we found out she had not been doing any of it ) she ended up grounded. Anyways, wife comes home, s.d comes out of room, talking as sweet as ever, Oh hi daddy blah blah blah, i just said uh huh. after an hour, i went in the computer room, there my wife on her computer and my s.d on my computer. I said um excuse me your not allowed on the computer and after a day like we had, dont' expect to be on there for a long time. Well that was a mistake, wife turns around says she's doing her homework, and I just laughed, shook my head and walked out. next thing i know my wife is yelling at me cause i'm not allowing s.d. to do her homework, and i told her what kind of day we had and it didn't matter. I told her once again that she has NO idea wht i put up with on a daily basis, my son 16 years old pipes up, ummm ( wifes name ) she talks to dad with totally no respect when your not here, wife tells son to shut up that he treats s.d with no respect either, to which i replied, well when she learns to talk to people with respect, maybe she'd get some back. Suddenly wife yells she has had enough and her and the s.d are leaving ( moving out ) So i decided to sleep on the couch. So now what??? Been thinking about it most of the night, personally i think it might be a relief to all concerend it it happened. Much as I love my wife, and I know she loves me, we can't continue like this. I know i will never accept anyone talking to me like my s.d does, and if my son was talking to my wife that way, well lets just say son would be very bored for the next two months. My wife says, well your the adult, my s.d says you can't do anything to me cause mom will just move out. HELPPPPPPPPPPPP. I'm so tired of being stressed, i think everyone is, is there any solutuiont o this, or am I just wasting my time in something that is never going to change.

I know how hard this is for you. Not so much directly, but I was a divorce paralegal for several years and then my brother went through an ongoing battle with this second exwife for several years. It's never easy. You have to try and remember why you married your husband in the first place. This is not about your relationship with him. This is about an angry woman who is trying to relieve her anger and unhappiness by inflicting wounds on the ones she believes caused her pain. You and your husband have to try and be a united front and be there to support each other. Every horrible thing this woman does has nothing to do with the relationship you have with your husband. If the two of you can be strong and really together when it comes to her, it will be easier on you. It sounds like you are doing a lot of this alone and that is very hard, if not next to impossible. We all need help, sympathy and encouragement - especially from our loved ones. Your children are an excellant reason for you to be happy. It sounds like you have done an amazing job with all of them because they are all flourishing. So your hard work and efforts were not in vain at all! You just need someone to lean on and get through this with, and be reminded how great you really are! I would pray that this other woman finds someone to love her also. As awful as she may be, she is likely acting out because she has no one to love her. When we are hurt and angry and alone, we do really terrible things, not only to ourselves but to others also. The attorney I used to work for always said this same cliche over and over: "Pick Your Battles and Win the War." It really fits though. If changing the schedule ever so slightly to accomodate her would make her go away, or if you can word it so that you agree to make a couple of changes (without a lawyer, but in writing and filed with the court), she has to agree to leave the schedule alone for a while so everyone can adjust (and that would also be in writing). I know you think she'll take advantage of this. And maybe she will. But, if you can get her off your back with your sanity and love for you husband and children, then having to be the stronger one all the time just may have to be the way it is for now. You will be rewarded though! God sees all of this and will work things for the good of everyone. Keep your chin up! And ask for help from all of your friends and loved ones. Even if it's a night out to vent over food and drinks, then do it! It will all turn out okay.