Silver Quite interesting reading. I have thought about EX and how he must feel about DD, or any woman that has been in his life. I do understand the conceptual thinking behind the term "limerance". I had a man that I felt that way about once. I never told him, figuring that if he felt anything for me he would approach me. There were a few mixed signals, I thought but he never made an attempt that was something that I knew for sure showed he was interested in me. He had enough chances to do that and he didn't. He thought of me as a friend or sister I guess. Or he would have gone for a little "roll in the hay" if I would have. He even introduced me to a girlfriend that he began dating and ended up getting her pregnant and they later married. Ouch! With EX's past ( if what he has said is true ) he undoubtedly has great fear of rejection. Again, if what he says is true, he wanted my DD to stay with him, build a future with him and he wanted a family with us. There are too many things though that are negatives to the success of their relationship that he is completely out of touch with which makes me think that he has a break with normal thought processes. This is evident with other actions...his extensive lying and his criminal behavior. My DD did not want to marry or have children ( my goodness, she is only 20 ) and he did. Very much in fact. I don't know that she will ever change her mind but he had said that he would rather have had her and no kids than to not have her at all. I don't know that it would have been something he could have easily lived with though. The age difference is something that was too vast....11 years...when dealing with her age group. Had they met when she was in her 30's or 40's or older then it would not have been as big a deal. I am sorry for him when it comes to honest, heartfelt feelings that he might have had for my DD. The fact that he could install such fear ( and continues to do so ) and the fact that he has told so many lies negates all of that though. It sucks to be rejected. Our family histories have a lot to do with whether or not we can process the rejection in a healthy way. Most of us have been and some of us have stepped over a line while dealing with it that we cringe at after having healed a bit. It is important to teach our kids that when they deal with peers or a romantic interest people have a right to reject them. In the long run it is for the best. I don't know how much EX has control over when it comes to his emotions about the breakup. I am sorry that I can't talk to him. It just can't happen. I want him to get help and to go onto have a happy life. More importantly though I want him to leave my DD alone and let her move on. Thanks for the thread and the link Silversword.

You did not say how old your daughter was. If she is of age, this modifies the term missing. She may have simply just gone away to get some space. However, you will be kept in our prayers. If she is of age, it changes the charges in regard to the theft of your car. filing it as theft was the proper thing to do. Taking it without permission is a big no no (and she knows it). Do you suspect there is another party involved, say a guy. Maybe it was him who took the car. On the other side of the coin, she could have taken the car for simple trip near home and met with accident. I suppose that did not happen. Another scenario was that she 'borrowed' the car for simple shopping trip and got car jacked. I suppose you know more about the situation than tou are revealing and hopefully, that probability is low. You must be beside yourself with worry. However, I'd be really ticked off with the loss of my car as well as worried about the person.

Hi all. I know things are confusing. She was stopped in DC because the car had been reported stolen. When stopped the car was searched and drug paraphanalia was found. No drugs. The charges against her were filed in Montgomery Co Md and since she was stopped in DC they held her. Montgomery Co has three days (not counting weekends and holidays) to transfer her. Since they have not done that yet she is still in DC being held for Mont. Co. Montgomery county has already told me that the car charges won't hold because she was not verbally told to return the car. Duh, she was missing! We face booked, texted, voice mailed, emailed etc but they are saying there is no way to prove she ever got any of the messages. My middle daughter has made some good contacts and we are hoping there is a treatment option for her. So many questions ahead. I am taking the car to carmax this afternoon after work and selling it for whatever they will give me. I never want to see it again. Thank you all for your concern and support. It has meant a great deal to me. Satine

Thanks so much, everyone! I'm definitely having fun with it. Fun2BHere, I'll be happy to report back. Maybe you could remind me? Not that I ever forget anything (!), but if we both try, it'll improve our odds of success. lol Patriciae, the heated steering wheel warms my hands. That's the short answer. The longer version is that I have Raynaud's Syndrome, which affects the circulation in my hands and feet. Driving in winter has been a challenge. I mostly use electronic hand warmers and a lap throw, switching hands often until the car warms up, but that's hardly ideal. I can't very well ignore the cold, because I could end up with sores on my fingers similar to frostbite, or worse. Even in a relatively mild winter several nails on my right hand will grow in deformed from damage to the area around the first knuckle. So you can see why a heated steering wheel was on my "must have" list. But it's enjoyed by many people without a medical condition--including several who posted on this thread. And my doctor mentioned to me this week that he turned his heated steering wheel on twice already. Rob333, I'm hearing conflicting predictions about the coming winter. The Farmer's Almanac is calling for severe cold, while the National Weather Service says it'll be quite mild. My theory is that no one knows. lol Bpath, you're wise to look into all your options. I'll be interested to hear what you choose. Lily, my new car has heated seats galore (rear as well as front), but it's the first one I've owned that doesn't have leather (except for my 1992 Caprice, which is in a class by itself lol). I don't know how to describe the upholstery material, but I'll post a photo below. It's not fabric, and it doesn't look like fake leather. Because the Onyx model is designed to handle rough roads, the upholstery is said to be rugged and easy to clean. We shall see. For now, I can say it's comfortable, and I like the way it looks. Subaru offers leather on many other models, Whistle_b, Subaru sometimes mentions in its ads that it supports animal shelters and rescues, and I'm glad to know they practice this in real life. Ally De, I'm so glad you survived that wreck. It must have been an awful experience. Before I bought my previous Outback I had Jeeps and a top-of-the-line Toyota 4Runner. I felt safer in the Subaru than in any of the others. No wrecks in the 4x4s, than heavens, but plenty of unpleasant slips and slides, nearly missing a tree in a couple of cases. The 4Runner had an alarm system to let me know I was skidding (gee, thanks), but that only made things worse. Maire_Cate, I park it in a carport that's attached to the ice house. It has the stone ice house wall on one side, and a shorter stone wall on the other. The car interior is two shades of grey. I tried to describe the material in this post, but I didn't do very well. I just took this pic of the driver's seat. The angle of my phone distorts the image a bit, but I wanted to show you the stitching. A friend who saw the car recently said she didn't like the lime green. Good thing it's not her car. lol It's all a matter of individual taste. I'm not fond of mint green, but I like the lime.