My 84 y.o. father and 90 y.o. stepmother live in N.C.

Dad is mentally alert but has ideopathic pulmonary fibrosis so he needs supplemental oxygen in order to breathe. He also has type 2 diabetes which is fairly well controlled by diet. Worst of all, he is currently in the hospital recuperating from emergency surgery that was done one week ago for a bowel obstruction. In fact, I'm writing this from his hospital room. Doctor is saying he will probably be able to go home on Tuesday or Wednesday.

My Stepmother is in fine shape physically but she has dementia to the point where she basically must be supervised like a 5 year old child to keep her from burning the house down or otherwise hurting herself. Thus, despite his physical ailments, Dad has been her caretaker for several years now.

I live in Texas so while I knew she was declining, I wasn't really aware just how bad things had gotten until this week. I flew in on Saturday and have spent the past week staying at their home and trying to look after stepmother as well as running back and forth to the hospital to visit Dad. I'm 25 years younger than Dad and in good health but after less than a week, I'm utterly exhausted! Among other things, stepmother constantly picks things up and puts them away and then has absolutely no recollection of having moved the item...so you have to hide anything and everything that is at all important to you or spend hours looking for it.

Obviously Dad is going to need nursing care for a few weeks while he recuperates from his surgery. That's problem #1 but I think I've got a handle on that. Problem #2 - which is what is really giving me fits - is that Dad really needs long-term "caregiver help."

I know that there is no way he will ever agree to move her into a nursing home or away from her house
in NC... and I cannot move to NC to look after them. So I need to find someone I can hire to come to their home and relieve him of at least some of the caregiver duties.

I found the website below about a service in North Carolina called "Home Instead Senior Care" that sounds like it might be the kind of thing I'm looking for. Being a long-time GW member (I usually post on the homebuilding forum) I figured I should post here and find out if anyone has any first-hand experience with this company? Would love to hear from you re what you liked and don't like about their services. Also some idea about what they charge would be helpful.

Alternatively, if anyone has hired a caregiver assistant independently to do similar chores rather than going thru a company like "Home Instead," what can you tell me about handling things like Social security, taxes, worker's comp insurance, etc? Did you check references? Insist that the person be bonded?

I need to make some decisions fast and I've come to rely on the GW forum members for good advice so...

Thanks in advance for any and all insight.

Here is a link that might be useful: Home Instead Senior Care