That should be just fine -- I've kept a Parma in a pot for several years here in the hot, humid, sunny summers of Washington, DC. The more consistent shade you can give it the better (a larger plant would work well) and needless to say cloudy days are your best friend; be careful to water before it wilts too far without keeping the plant wet all of the time, and always be on the lookout for spider mite damage. If you see evidence of the mites, you'll need to spray the plants thoroughly (especially under all of the leaves), and hopefully you can obtain the correct horticultural spray oil (the summer type, which is even more ultra-refined than the winter version, which can harm plants when sprayed on foliage during the warm season). A second spray will need to be applied one week after the first to kill the newly-emerged hatchlings, and that should take care of the problem for a good while. This is a safe, non-toxic solution to the mites if they occur. I've often taken mine in and overwintered it in the refrigerator once it gets too cold outside (low 20s Fahrenheit over night seem to be their natural limit to avoid permanent damage without some protection), but I have also noticed that keeping the plant enclosed in plastic guards against the desiccation injury that I used to think was simple cold damage. Even putting it into a clear plastic bag with the top left partly open is much better than no protection at all; it's mostly important to maintain high humidity around the plant when the temperature drops significantly below freezing, and I believe this is precisely how cold frames keep the plants happy during the winter's coldest weather, in combination with the added warmth and protection of being rooted in the ground, of course. Stefan

flowerlilies, Often people who work in garden centers don't really understand much about pests, diseases, and chemicals. You should ask first on the GW forum for the particular kind of plant. And don't believe the first poster who responds, because we can make mistakes too. Though, if we let a reply stand without further comments, that's probably a tacit approval. It's really important not to panic and apply a barrage of remedies before you have a good diagnosis. Also, when you post a question, it's important to give a general idea of where you live, because pests and diseases are regional, rainfall and winter damage can play a role, etc. For example, a diagnosis of scale insects on roses would be more likely if you are in Southern California, Hawaii, or Miami. But rose midge, suggested above, doesn't exist in those places. One thing I can say for certain, the purple spots with lighter centers are either cercospora spot or spot anthracnose, both fungal diseases that usually don't require control measures. Also, there may well be some spray damage, because homemade and "organic" sprays are rather likely to damage plants if not used carefully. Large purple smears are often the result of spray damage. What are you saying is wrong with the open mauve flower? If the grayish things are scale, they will scrape off easily with a fingernail.

Laura, if they were my trees, I would cut back just as you said..You don't have too since, you have them in a great mix, but if they were mine, I would stop all together and feel it out..You will get to know your trees and their needs depending on your light source, temps, and storage which is different for every one...Of course if your conditions for very healthy sturdy good growth is limited, I would stop all together...If you lived in a climate where there is more sunshine for longer periods than I, then that would dictate when to pull back or continue..Does that make sense? I have fiends that live in California, that must bring trees in winter, but they continue to fertilizer very lightly.. I have friends that grow theirs in a very big greenhouse will all day sun, and they continue to fertilize very lightly.. But, they all have something in common, pests, especially spider mites and scale...That is why I stop no matter what I am told to do, and it has prevented a host of problems for me) Have you ever thought of using Pro-TeKt with your Foliage Pro fertilizer solution? This product also helps your leaves to become bug and drought resistant while building up the cell walls....It, Enhances growth for stronger, hardier plants Builds stronger plant cell walls Increases heat, drought and cold tolerance Increases chlorophyll content for more photosynthesis Provides supplemental potassium and silicon

I am sorry you are so tired and worried. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Your question is how to deal with this without blowing up at your DIL and DS. First and most important, go get counseling yourself or with your husband. The counselor will help you figure out how to set boundaries and how much to give of yourselves. Second, take time to exercise, get plenty of sleep and eat healthy foods. That old adage about flying with children...put the oxygen mask on your own face first so you can help them with theirs.... You will be able to do more for the children in the long run if you stay healthy. Third, your grandchildren have 2 loving grandparents who live next door, a nanny, and 2 parents. They have a network of people. Their love network doesn't look like what you wish for them but they have one. They are loved, they are cared for. Stop focusing on what they don't have and start looking at what they do have. I'm not there, you are, and your concerns may be entirely or partially valid. Having said that, they are 5 and 2. Soon the 5 year old will be more and more involved in school, activities, etc. The 5 year old will go to school all day, then have music lessons, sports activities, friends over, etc. That doesn't mean she won't need you or her parents, but she will be busy. The money your DIL makes will come in very handy for college, extracurricular activities, etc. As the grandkids get older you probably won't be needed nearly as much and that time is probably closer than you think. When that time comes, if you have damaged your relationship with your DS and DIL you will wish you hadn't. Also you may find that your DIL is better with the children as they get older. The comment about DIL not allowing anyone else in the family to be a leader in the family is not germane to this discussion. Your son could still have tea parties with his kids, take them camping, build block towers, bake cookies with them, play soccer in the yard. DIL is not stopping him from that. Stop letting those leadership thoughts live rent free in your head. As you said yourself, your son could make different choices, he doesn't, and that's on him, not his wife. I don't know, only you do, so I could be very wrong. I suspect you are enabling your son. I think that because you said he was checking his phone a lot during the day. If he was at home with the grandkids, were you over there taking care of them? There is a fine line between supporting and enabling and a good counselor will help you figure out if you have strayed over into enabling territory. A counselor can help you figure out if part of this is because the family doesn't look like what you expect with your DIL running a demanding business. My husband was building a business when our children were 5 and 2. He would have went on an 11 day trip, returned and went to work the next day and no one would have thought anything about it. He worked long hours then 6 days a week, and on Sunday went to church, came home and napped. He came home every night, gave the kids a bath, ate something and went back to work. This is a tough time for a young family and sometimes that can spill over onto the grandparents. I'm not dismissing your concerns or saying you're wrong. Just one glance at my husband with his little kids and even a total stranger could tell he treasured them, enjoyed them, loved them with his every breath. It's probably not the trip that concerned you but the way your son and DIL interact with their kids when they're present. The generosity issue is a good one to bring up in counseling. I'm not sure why you would want your DS and DIL to be financially generous with you. You have stressed that material things are not your focus, that you make decent money, so not sure why you feel a loss if they don't give you expensive gifts. Perhaps because your DS and DIL give expensive gifts to people they value and you feel not valued. A counselor could help you learn to let that go. Invest in exercise, getting plenty of sleep, eating healthy and counseling. That time will be well spent, and the sooner the better. It may take time to find a good counselor who is the right match for you, so get started now. You may have to try more than one. I hope you find something that helps. Best of luck with your grandchildren.