I agree with Cyn, set rules in your own house and enforce them to make your life easier and to let her know you believe she is totally capable of being responsible. Kids will adapt to different guidelines if they are clearly explained and consistently enforced. My children have chores and are expected to be responsible for their school work. Of course under this umbrella there are times when they need help staying focused. Clothes, pets, dishes, wood, bathrooms, and garbage fall into their work load. I work at my children's school and I firmly say every year to my child's' teacher that "their" relationship at school is between them, I will not hover nor will I be running home at lunch if they forget their homework. My colleagues seem to appreciate this even though I do cringe a bit when homework is forgotten but hey- any teacher worth their weight knows responsibility must also be taught. Many of my friends go crazy helping with homework, organizing backpacks, studying etc.and then complain because their kids won't do it or can't do it without them...HELLO, of course not! Chores too, can take a back seat for many families because it does take a lot of energy for parents to enforce them in the beginning. My own opinion is they don't want to deal with the hassle, but surprisingly once kids know there is no way around it the grumbling is minimal. Perhaps being with Elementary students everyday slants my perspective Mona, but from what I see, very few parents hold their children responsible for anything from homework to their behaviors,it is a great disservice.

It's certainly repairable, and yes, I would do it. I replaced the belt on a friend's 25-year-old Whirlpool (1985 model) several months ago ($19.99 at a local dealer, which is $10 more than I would have paid via an online source, but I needed it ASAP). I'm in the process of refurbishing a 22-year-old Kenmore (Whirlpool) dryer that was given to me by a friend whose niece used it at college. It had been drying slow, they thought the heating element was going bad (elements either work or not, they don't typically deteriorate over time). I found the drum air outlet was half-clogged with impacted lint, due to the lint filter handle being broken and thus seldom cleaned. The major mechanical parts (bearings, rollers, idler, belt, motor) are all in fine condition. Can't say the same about yours, of course, without examination. You can look up parts diagrams at SearsPartsDirect.com

Why do I enjoy this writing stuff so much? Is it because I like twisting peoples words? Or is it the unwinding of their own words? I like to be a helper. But I just get sidetracked when I read certain things. And I have to say, women have a way of stepping in it, making it so much fun to tease the fair sex. I mean here we are discussing possibly the most universal problem of modern life, keeping the toilets in good repair. Now, after all this, our dear original poster throws her hands up in frustration and declares: "(I) Really appreciate all of the input." Well, Pomona, thats what toilets are for. I think we all appreciate that. But we have to make sure it flushes away. Do us a favor. Dont give up. If we cant help you help yourself, this forum might as well go away. To that end, I promise: no more funny business. I will try to be instructive and invite the whole readership to support this. We have to keep this ladys head above water if you dont mind my saying so. So here goes. A toilet is possibly the best invention of civilized mankind. One reason for that is that it is so simple and so efficient and so easy to maintain in virtually any household. (Although, I worked on one just yesterday that hasnt been used in five months because the handle assembly was broken. If the ladys 35-year-old son wasnt a pot-head, he could have fixed it for her.) By the way before I forget I purchased a nice Jacuzzi brand toilet yesterday for another family. I shopped at Lowes and couldnt locate the elongated model I wanted, which I would expect to be in the same bay as the round one. The nice lady showed me where to find it. Then she went and sat in a chair. But I couldnt confirm that it was the one I wanted because the box was stuck under a rack and the whole thing was printed in Spanish. Im talking Flint, Michigan, United States of America. Anyhow, I mention this because I am slowly learning Spanish because of all the stuff I buy in the Big Box Stores. And so by reading both sides of the box and comparing words, I see that the Hispanics have had to devise a word that didnt used to exist until modern times (more or less): "Inodoro." I tried to find the Latin connection having once been an altar boy (albeit a closet sinner) but I could not find one. Finally, I realized that it might mean, odor-less. You know, like when people say, "Where is the bathroom?" when you know darned-well they are planning on taking a dump, not a bath. In the tropics, they say, "Por favor, Im interested in the odorless, if you know what I mean." Now the English, in the days of Victoria, applied the old name to the new contraption. It became known as a "water closet." The English didnt want to say what they were up to, either, you see. And for that reason, we have that mysterious toilet drain elbow being called a closet bend. "Toilet" is, of course the French word, pronounced twa-lay. Well, that almost looks like a good name for a double bed. But it, too, is an oblique reference to cleanliness obviously a dishonest term, since the French have no idea what that means. "Commode" is a great word. It ac-commod-ates ones immediate needs. I like that. It says what is says. I certainly dont want to call it the stink-free. And I think Mexico could do us all a favor by coming up with a better word. After all, "the odorless" suggests that these huge cities have been formed around one gigantic outhouse maybe two. Mexico City has more than 12 million people not counting those who live in Texas and California most of the time. That is a big task to handle for the lowly toilet. Thats why they are so simple, efficient and repairable. Well, times up. Hope this helps Pinoke

Oh yuck!... I think you're very wise to be so concerned and I'll keep my fingers crossed for a mild ride... In my book, social drinking with friends at parties at age 18 is within the "normal" range of teenage activities, but having empty bottles rolling around inside drawers and rum-filled soda cans is "problem" behavior. Not to mention the knife! Drinking alone in her room and having empty bottles hidden are both signs of a possibly serious problem. I imagine you're aware that a vulnerability to substance addiction is an inherited trait? And that with alcoholism on both sides of her biological family tree, your SD is very vulnerable to alcoholism? Is this a point that was brought home to her in the strongest possible terms? Seems every 18 year old knows that they personally are invincible -- but the stats show otherwise... Al-Anon is a great place to get more information. I can't imagine a better group of people to help you and your DH sort out just how big of a problem this is likely to be at this stage -- Is it something you will be likely able to handle on your own with guidance and discipline? Or is rehab called for? (I can't see rehab actually working until your SD believes she has a problem that is beyond her own ability to control.) And what type of interventions and control strategies to they advocate? It's good your DH took the car plates away, but at some point, she'll probably get to drive again. When I was a teenager, my parents had a policy that turned out to be very effective at helping me learn to set my own limits. I had a curfew, and the house rule was that when I came in, I had to wake up Mom and spend a few minutes talking with her about where I had gone and what I had done (though they always knew where I was going in advance also.) That simple late-night conversation was enough to assure my mom that when I came in, it would be on time, and that I wouldn't be so drunk that I couldn't pass the 'coherent conversation' test. That didn't stop me entirely from underage drinking, but it did prevent me from underage OVER-drinking. It might be something to consider if you conclude your SD's drinking may be controllable.