We have something similar going on. Like you in previous years our birds have fledged and maybe two weeks later they appear as a 'family' and are usually quite cautious -- taking their time to creep closer and closer to the yard. This year our first brood was actually of 4... for some reason one female just didn't want to leave. We didn't see her brothers/sisters at all and were very worried that something happened to them. When Mom had her second brood this female would hang out (literally) on the box, peeking in the entrance, to the point where Mom and Dad got a little ticked with her! Haven't seen her in a while now.... Now we have an only child from the second brood. There were 4 eggs but only one hatched. He fledged just 4 days ago and appeared in the yard yesterday (3rd day) and again this morning. He's actually quite brave coming straight into the garden instead of hanging back in the trees or on a popular perch (neighbor's satellite dish). Mom also started on her 3rd nest yesterday wasting no time! Will be interesting to see how long he stays around.

I had a somewhat similar situation years ago. My daughter ended up marrying the guy and they have 3 kids now. The situation isn't any better today than it was 8 years ago. My daughter did finish college, has a great job and is a wonderful mom. Like your daughter she was very careful with money early on, very responsible, but then whe this idiot came along she started doing things his way. He doesn't work at least half the time, doesn't help with the kids, she does EVERYTHING. They have no $ because he has destroyed their credit, depleted their bank accounts, etc. A part of me looks back and thinks should I have said more to her when this relationship started? Like you, I didn't want to go ballistic even though I knew the guy was a jerk, so I tried to wait it out and let her figure it out. She's a very smart girl so I figured it would work out in the end, but it didn't. I know she's miserable right now but I think she doesn't want to hear "I told you so" which I would never actually say or imply, but basically she doesn't want to look like a failure so she just keeps up the pretense. He also cheats on her. Like your daughter, she has lied about things too. She had a very good life growing up, but I've heard where she's said things about her childhood that are just plain lies. I think they do that to justify what they're doing now. Your daughter has to convince herself that she has a better life now, which is of course untrue but she has to believe that these people she's around are better than what she had otherwise she would be fighting a lot of guilt. I think you need to accept her choices for now, do your best to convince her to take birth control because that's not a mistake you can easily fix later and if drugs are in the picture, yeah you definitely want to prevent a pregnancy. Do not pay any of her bills. She can't have it both ways. You can't make choices, say you're old enough to do what you want and then expect mommy and daddy to support you. When the time comes to reach out to you and it will, she will be able to do that, phone or not. I'm sorry for all your pain, I know just how you feel.

Hopefully I can give you a little bit of insight into both sides of the debaate. Untill I was 11 years old, I was an only child. Psychologists say this psychologically makes me an only child! I loved being an only child. I was very creative and friendly, I was very curious and intellectual. I loved to sing with my dad and do crafts with my mom we loved nature and the three of us took long hikes and camped alot and travelled. I am very musical, my parents were able to support me in piano, violin, brass and voice. But more than anything else they were there for me emotionally 100%! I loved being an only child! When I was 11 years old my parents had another daughter. They have often said to me and other family members that they regret having another child, not that they don't love her, it was just very hard and very different raising her. There were complications at the birth which led to my sister having a conduct disorder. She is a very self centered, manipulative and mean person. And I am not saying this because I am jealous or anyother hidden agenda, I am just stating a fact. It was so hard on my parents being in their late 30's and starting all over again and all of the trials they had to deal with, still are dealing with at age 21! Two years ago my father passed away, trust me it was not my sister I turned to for support, but my husband and friends I have had for many years. Onlies create surrogate siblings; one of my best friends is an only and two of my cousins that are close to my age I view as my family. We have the same relationships siblings have. With my family now it was a heartbreaking decision to go from one child to two, but in the end we decided to have more children, and I thank God we did our second child is sweet and loving and kind. That was my greatest fear, that we would hurt our first born by having a second child, but their mother's history has not repeated itself! My husband has 5 siblings, and his stories and relationships are amazing! His mother has 8 siblings, and you should see Christmas, what an amazing celebraton of life and heritage! When we got married I told my husband, either we have only one child or four! I think the key is having them really close together, shared history and growing through life's joys and struggles is what makes siblings gel and become interlinked! As a child I didn't know this was something I was missing, as an adult I get to experience it through my own children! Best of luck! Trust God and he will guide your family!

mmommy: If moving out is not an option, look at some other opportunities. Try taking an art class or cooking class. These may seem "dumb" or "boring" but I'm pretty sure (depending on where you live) that bringing your son along probably wouldn't be a problem to those types of classes. A little bigger ambition: go take a literature class or philosophy class and find out if your local community college or university has daycare facilities. Yeah, its some work, but if you do something besides going to work and coming home, you will have to deal with the situation a little less. If you already have your degree, find out about a photog class or what the local art museum has to offer. Ultimately, if you only have about 18 months with SD to be in the home (she may be there longer--don't get excited) then if you start doing something that keeps you and baby boy out of the house, it may make YOU feel better. I know the problems that I encountered repeatedly were because I was HERE repeatedly and let the situation get too far (we're getting divorced because of SK's and especially EX and husbands inability to tell her NO). Hindsight (20/20) if I had been here a little less, I believe some of our problems would have been a little less tense and my attention would have been focused elsewhere. Despite the fact that I am in school (online) it would have behooved me to have been at the art museum some weekends (lol). Think about it and see what you can come up with....I know a lot will depend on what you can do with your son b/c you don't want to leave him at home and subjected to SD, but you may be able to come up with a good deal somewhere. simply