I was finally able to check today and the other egg is gone now too. We were going to give it until this weekend and then remove it. The parents already did. So all that's left is the one baby, and I'm not sure it's out of the woods yet. Not quite a week old. It seems strong, and gets a lot of attention and food, so I'm hopeful. I'm also hoping that we'll get a couple more clutches with more survivors. Thanks for the followup Lisa. tara

I'm an only child too, and my mom is 94 years old. Do you have Power of Attorney for both financial and health care? If not, I think that's the first thing you need to tackle. Also, your parents should have a will. These documents need to be drawn up by a competent elder care attorney. You bring up moving them to an assisted living facility. If they actually make the move, how will they finance it? If it's going to be a private pay sort of situation, have you considered hiring in-home aids to help them and also relieve you of some of the responsibilities? There are various agencies that provide in-home care using qualified and screened individuals. Even if your folks eventually have to move into an AL, this option will give you some breathing room. Time to gradually get them adjusted to others caring for them. Time for you to research the best AL facility in your area. Time to take some much needed breaks and see to your own health. Also, check out your community adult day care programs and/or lunch program. Even if they gripe, get them dressed and take them to the day care and lunches a couple of times a week. That way they'll be out of your hair, so to speak, for a couple of hours and they'll get used to a group environment. Sort of what pre-school does for young children. Do you have any help or assistance at all right now? You may need to have an honest and blunt conversation with your parents about your physical & health difficulties. Tell them that's why you absolutely MUST have help. And be sure to never promise that any measure is temporary or that you'll keep caring for them in their home or anything else. No one knows for certain what the future holds, so promises are pretty useless and can be very troublesome. Legally, unless you've been given guardianship, you cannot force a parent into an AL or a NH. However, by bringing in help and taking them to adult day care and lunches, you'll be weaning them from that over dependence on you for everything. They'll learn little by little to accept help from others. That may help them feel better about the situation. Also, you could try something sort of drastic. Take a short vacation or tell them that your doctor has prescribed a weekend health retreat for you. So you'll be gone for three days and someone will come over to stay with them, or better yet, enroll them in a respite program at a local AL. Most assisted living facilities have a couple of bedrooms set aside for respite care when the caregiver must be out of town, etc. They would get acquainted with life at an AL. Maybe, once they participate in some of these types of activities, they'd be less hesitant. Of course, they could prove very stubborn. If that's the case, then use their private resources to get yourself some relief. Or apply to your county & state for government aid to get some in-home caregivers. Some charities have helpful program too.

In many jurisdictions a marriage voids any former wills. Around here, they advertise mail-order will kits on the radio for something like $39.95. One might use something like that, or one in a book from a publisher like Self-Counsel Press, available in many bookstores, as a guide regarding the many issues that a will relates to. I like the latter, for it would give one a much fuller explanation of the issues involved. Go to a major library and check out resources there, especially ones that are current and related to your jurisdiction. Talk to some trusted friends and ask what procedure they followed, if you think adviseable. Plus some friends, etc. who went through the liquidation of an estate ... but not one that was recent, please, unless you are sure that there were no complications, and minimal residual bereavement issues on the part of the loved ones. Especially good if you can find someone who has been executor of an estate: they have a wealth of knowledge - and much good advice. Do you know some people who have some knowledge in that field? Maybe pick their brains. Do you have a connection with a religious or educational agency? Community or seniors' group? Someone there might have some general ideas to offer. It might make a useful topic for discussion in a seniors', community or church group. I just suggested to the minister of my church this morning that it might be useful to have an evening of discussion about money management, tax implications, etc. and she was interested - also may include our church's local giving co-ordinator (that attends our church). If you'd followed up on my Chrismas gift offered in this and related sites in recent years, you'd have a data base to whom you might choose to send a message covering various aspects of your current dilemma. See it a few pages down on "Money Saving Tips" - or I can send it, if you ask. I think it wise, however, when you have some definite ideas of the issues, and have made specific decisions about what things you want done, to run the situation past a lawyer, possibly having them draw the will. If many of the issues have been considered and decided, so it's largely a matter of drawing the will correctly, the fees usually aren't large ... likely a few hundred dollars. If the lawyer has to spend a lot of time explaining, discussing various options, etc. with clients discussing in that office, the bill can get high. You have made no reference to how long you've been married, the ages of your children, how many assets either of you brought into the marriage, etc. However, it seems to be a bit unfair that, should you both depart this life together (rather improbable), your together one kid gets half of the assets ... and his 3 kids brought into your marriage from earlier get to split the other half. Should you depart first, and, as you say, all of the assets go to him, then when he dies, how will he split the stuff between the four (well, four as of this writing, anyway). Does he have a concern that, should he die first, on your demise, your kid may get most of the assets, while his imported ones end up with not much? Has it been decided as to who gets what of which assets (house, car 1, car 2, retirement savings, other assets, etc. Some assets, e.g. life insurance, tax-deferred retirement fund, etc. can have a beneficiary designated, so that fund may not be included in the will, thus attract probate fees. For example, in this area, if a couple had a home worth $200,000. and a tax-deferred retirement fund of $200,000. and left one kid the home and the other the retirement asset, there'd be a major problem. The owner-occupied home passes to the estate free of tax on whatever capital gain may have accrued. The tax-deferred retirement fund was not taxed as income when earned, so, unless bequeathed to a spouse, becomes income of the deceased, in addition to whatever other income was received in the year of death ... often resulting in tax load of upwards of 50%. So the kid getting the house gets about $200,000. value ... while the kid getting the retirement fund gets about $100,000., after the estate pays the deceased's taxes relative to the year of death. There are many things to be considered. Also, a related issue ... in case of disability, who gets to make the decisions about medical issues related to the disabled person? What level of extraordinary care to prolong life? Who gets to manage the financial issues related to the disabled person? Do both of you know enough about the whole range of the family's affairs that, should one become disabled/die tomorrow ... the survivor could carry on the various situations of need with minimal disruption (apart from the trauma associated with the illness/death)? That's pretty important, as well. Sorry to give you such a load. ole joyful

Hopefully I can give you a little bit of insight into both sides of the debaate. Untill I was 11 years old, I was an only child. Psychologists say this psychologically makes me an only child! I loved being an only child. I was very creative and friendly, I was very curious and intellectual. I loved to sing with my dad and do crafts with my mom we loved nature and the three of us took long hikes and camped alot and travelled. I am very musical, my parents were able to support me in piano, violin, brass and voice. But more than anything else they were there for me emotionally 100%! I loved being an only child! When I was 11 years old my parents had another daughter. They have often said to me and other family members that they regret having another child, not that they don't love her, it was just very hard and very different raising her. There were complications at the birth which led to my sister having a conduct disorder. She is a very self centered, manipulative and mean person. And I am not saying this because I am jealous or anyother hidden agenda, I am just stating a fact. It was so hard on my parents being in their late 30's and starting all over again and all of the trials they had to deal with, still are dealing with at age 21! Two years ago my father passed away, trust me it was not my sister I turned to for support, but my husband and friends I have had for many years. Onlies create surrogate siblings; one of my best friends is an only and two of my cousins that are close to my age I view as my family. We have the same relationships siblings have. With my family now it was a heartbreaking decision to go from one child to two, but in the end we decided to have more children, and I thank God we did our second child is sweet and loving and kind. That was my greatest fear, that we would hurt our first born by having a second child, but their mother's history has not repeated itself! My husband has 5 siblings, and his stories and relationships are amazing! His mother has 8 siblings, and you should see Christmas, what an amazing celebraton of life and heritage! When we got married I told my husband, either we have only one child or four! I think the key is having them really close together, shared history and growing through life's joys and struggles is what makes siblings gel and become interlinked! As a child I didn't know this was something I was missing, as an adult I get to experience it through my own children! Best of luck! Trust God and he will guide your family!