Sounds like very rational behavior to me ! very sensible, in fact i have been seen doing the very same thing only I manage to get my ratty old bathrobe on first and the folks walking their doggies down the street have something to stare at besides dog-poop, of couse they always look the other way when the doggie does poop and I am doing them a favor... sally

I'm an only child too, and my mom is 94 years old. Do you have Power of Attorney for both financial and health care? If not, I think that's the first thing you need to tackle. Also, your parents should have a will. These documents need to be drawn up by a competent elder care attorney. You bring up moving them to an assisted living facility. If they actually make the move, how will they finance it? If it's going to be a private pay sort of situation, have you considered hiring in-home aids to help them and also relieve you of some of the responsibilities? There are various agencies that provide in-home care using qualified and screened individuals. Even if your folks eventually have to move into an AL, this option will give you some breathing room. Time to gradually get them adjusted to others caring for them. Time for you to research the best AL facility in your area. Time to take some much needed breaks and see to your own health. Also, check out your community adult day care programs and/or lunch program. Even if they gripe, get them dressed and take them to the day care and lunches a couple of times a week. That way they'll be out of your hair, so to speak, for a couple of hours and they'll get used to a group environment. Sort of what pre-school does for young children. Do you have any help or assistance at all right now? You may need to have an honest and blunt conversation with your parents about your physical & health difficulties. Tell them that's why you absolutely MUST have help. And be sure to never promise that any measure is temporary or that you'll keep caring for them in their home or anything else. No one knows for certain what the future holds, so promises are pretty useless and can be very troublesome. Legally, unless you've been given guardianship, you cannot force a parent into an AL or a NH. However, by bringing in help and taking them to adult day care and lunches, you'll be weaning them from that over dependence on you for everything. They'll learn little by little to accept help from others. That may help them feel better about the situation. Also, you could try something sort of drastic. Take a short vacation or tell them that your doctor has prescribed a weekend health retreat for you. So you'll be gone for three days and someone will come over to stay with them, or better yet, enroll them in a respite program at a local AL. Most assisted living facilities have a couple of bedrooms set aside for respite care when the caregiver must be out of town, etc. They would get acquainted with life at an AL. Maybe, once they participate in some of these types of activities, they'd be less hesitant. Of course, they could prove very stubborn. If that's the case, then use their private resources to get yourself some relief. Or apply to your county & state for government aid to get some in-home caregivers. Some charities have helpful program too.

I don't know of any. This site has some information and a yellow box with a couple good links-- the first two work. http://www.myprimetime.com/misc/press/press_cinenquirer_763000.shtml This one has some factoids and is a more kid-friendly article in terms of reading and the syle of writing. (The first article is a good one, it's just not as breezy.) http://pbskids.org/itsmylife/family/birthorder/article5.html This address is to a book on the subject that might or might not be helpful or worth having. http://www.familyresource.com/parenting/r/19/ Mostly, for support purposes it might be better to find some other 'unifying' factor that affects your family or parenting style, or which refers to your child's strengths. Parents of more than one child are usually concerned about similar parenting issues in general. Side issues can be addressed with or without the issue of parenting an 'only child.' Without siblings, for example parents and children can feel inadvertently pressured to acheive whatever passes for 'perfection.' Children who have lots of siblings can also experience loneliness, or socialization problems (not that this is normal for 'only children' just that it's one of the concerns people will usually mention). Birth order or the number of siblings a person has or doesn't have doesn't automatically control or predict how self-centered they will be as an adult. those articles and the book give a good overview of the positives-- and there are many-- most of which you may already know or have thought about

SD10 has come from a family in Ca. that stops everything for the children. They actually run wild. Not something that I am used to at. Although SD10 is not wild, she is very well behaved, she does retain that "I am the most important person in the room" attitude. She has made progress and as her daddy makes progress (LOL) I think she will do much better. She made a comment after arriving here that sums it up quite adequitly I think. She was dead serious when she remarked..."I'm just not right anymore!"....She had never been challenged before she moved in with us. So here is a 13 year old boy and a 17 year old girl and myself refusing to be told how life works by a 7 year old....pretty funny. Dad would just let her have her way, she ran the show. Having her home for the holiday break is giving me a chance to work on things. She is limited now to 2 hours of TV unless we do a movie or something extra. She and I have played on the Wii together and she spent time at a friend's house. She was drawing in the living room when I came in here to post. I had a long talk with DS16 last night and he is missing the "old" days before I remarried. It has been difficult for him to accept SD's age/behavior. But then of course he was the youngest before she came along. I was quite sad about it, did a lot of crying and then decided that he and I should have a date night every so often. SD and dad could do a date night on the same night and that would give her his undivided attention. As far as extra activities....she is in an extra math and science class twice a week, private violin lessons once a week and church youth group once a week. We do trips to the library.....she loves to read. We also do church every Sunday and she is in Sunday school there. She has a pretty well rounded life. I do want to make sure that I am not picking on her. I know that she is doing what she has been taught and what has worked for her before the remarriage. I have to teach DH how to be part of family and not an outstanding individual so to speak. I don't mean that disrespectfully. Family dynamics from childhood play a big part in it, both on his side and mine. I remember my first SD being the same way and she was an only child not to mention the grandparents favorite. I had never seen adults stop what they were doing to watch a child dance until I met her. She wasn't even taking lessons. I thought...ok...when are we just going to sit and watch her breath!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was raised in a household where kids were to be seen and not heard and most of the time nobody even wanted to see you.