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seamommy

I Know How that Snake Got in

13 years ago

He was just slithering into my coop through the little hatch door last Friday when I went out to close it up for the night. I grabbed for him and flung him out into the yard, about 15' away. Then I dashed into the coop for my hatchet to go after him, but he headed under the coop and I missed him. Saturday one of my Ameraucanas went missing, but I couldn't look for her because I got into some yellowjackets and had a reaction. I took some benedril and went to bed.

On Sunday when the swelling was so bad that I couldn't move my right hand anymore I went to the emergency room in Weatherford. They gave me some good drugs and said 'be more careful' and sent me home. That evening just before going to bed I went to turn out the light over the stove and on my way out of the kitchen I ran smack into the edge of the countertop with my (still) swollen hand. That hurt a lot, and the hand swelled up even more and now it's kinda lumpy.

Monday I went to work and was able to move my fingers enough to do some work, but mostly I used my left hand and just did stuff that didn't require the computer - like the filing that has been piling up in my outbasket since January. Monday evening I went to the chicken pen to refresh water and feed my girls and noticed the distinct odor of a dearly departed feathered friend. I looked and looked for her, but no joy.

Finally I was cleaning out the waterer and glanced over at the porch in front of the coop door. It's just a row of 6 cinder blocks lined up to form a solid step for my stumpy little legs. There she was, dragged into those cinder blocks by a freakin' snake. What a miserable, diabolical, satanic creature he is to treat her remains with such disdain. An Ameraucana!! I gave her a decent burial and tore the coop apart to make sure the snake wasn't inside before I closed it up for the night.

Last night we had just gone to bed and I was drifting peacefully off the lala land when the rain started. It sounded like a giant bucket of water had been dumped on the house and it was coming down in sheets. Then I remembered that I had not closed up the little hatch-door of the coop. I grabbed a broken Mickey Mouse umbrella and slipped into the only shoes I could find in the dark (pair of $125 SAS) and marched dutifully through ankle deep water up to the pen.

All my girls were sitting on the porch, already drenched. This told me that the snake was in the coop. Luckily, I thought to myself, I left my hatchet on the floor right by the big people door so I could grab it and dispatch that Satan spawn. But when I opened the door, there he was. This wretch had slithered through an opening at the bottom edge of the people door that was less than 5/16" wide, so small even the tip of my index finger couldn't go through it.

Inside the people door I had installed a home-made screen door of chicken wire, intended to convert the coop to a brooder in the Spring. I had pulled this screen door shut when I closed up the people door earlier and snake-boy was half in and half out of the screen door. And he was between me and my snake-getr hatchet.

I grabbed that slippery jack by the tail and yanked him out so fast all my girls went running. He got lively on me and tried to snap at me. I couldn't get to the hatchet so I whipped him against the side of the coop. The rain was still pouring down and here I was in my jammies, my good shoes, Mickey Mouse over my head whacking this helpless reptile against the shed. Glad it was dark.

The limper he got the more I felt sorry for him, so I finally leaned into the coop and got the hatchet and put us both out of our misery. By this time the hens were all over the yard, so I started calling them in. Some of them came, but some of them I had to go find and carry them back inside. One white roo never did come back in, but he was alive and well this morning, so I guess he's tougher than he looks.

I spent about an hour out there and when I got back to the house I was cold, wet, muddy and had some kind of snake snot on my pretty cotton jammies. I'm not forgiving snake-boy for the snot or for the Ameraucuna murder incident either. I was so jacked up on adrenalin I couln't go back to sleep til way past midnight and I don't feel very good today. But I do feel vindicated.

Cheryl, The Snake's Worst Nightmare

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