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dirtgirl_wt

I'm not afraid of spiders but EEEEEEEK

dirtgirl
17 years ago

I'm not even afraid of a recluse-I just don't handle them. I will carefully scoop up any other spider in the house and relocate them, even to another part of the house such as a houseplant, just someplace where they aren't as likely to get stepped on by accident.

HOWEVER even for me there are those moments where the nape of your neck goes all electric and you just lock up. Today was wonderful....warm and sunny, the perfect fall afternoon for a bike ride, and ride I did. I was zooming down a favorite dirt road toward a creek, with corn on one side and trees and brush on the other. I should have been paying closer attention but I was completely unaware of the web across my path until it was too late. This time of year the female orb weavers have mated and are getting huge, just hanging there all day waiting for the unlucky grasshopper. Some of these ladies must go to considerable pains to span such distances, and today's encounter was amazing...must have been all the way across the road, which is not that unusual for barn spiders but I don't think I've ever seen a n argiope go that far.

Well, there I was, flying down this stretch of field road, everything sunny and green and full of early autumn when SMACK. What stopped me from just wrecking the heck out of it is a mystery, because suddenly, right between my eyes and thudding against the bridge of my nose with every bump was the HUGEST FATTEST BLACK-AND-YELLOW ARGIOPE I HAD EVER SEEN. You know---those big "BANANA SPIDERS".

All I could see were legs fumbling to hang on (I'm sure she was new to cycling) and the zigzag thick part of the web, which was now plastered over one lens of my cycling glasses. The rest of my head was totally shrink-wrapped in the remnants of what must have been one monstrously huge web, complete with the dangling dessicated remains of her other previous encounters. Like I said, why I didn't just wreck right there....My initial reaction was to snatch her off my forehead with one hand, since I wear gloves when I ride. I never got a chance. Right when I started my controlled stop (yeah, right) she decided she'd had enough. She scuttled up my forehead and onto my do-rag, and that's when the worrying started. At least while she was clinging to my face I knew where she WAS. Oh CRAP. You know, it doesn't take much rocket science to figure out that the bigger the spider, the bigger the fangs, the better your chances of the pain quotient being an upward trend if you pressure it into biting you. And there I was, wearing my mesh riding jersy, the one with the racer back and not much coverage (read: bite protection). I'm glad there isn't much traffic out that way because somebody would have been on their cell to the sheriff about some crazy lady half off a bike trying to get naked in a corn field. Well, I didn't actually try to get out of my shirt, but I KNEW she had to be still on my head and the thought crossed my mind. I got off the bike and got it out of the way and did some serious batting and arm waving and dancing around, And you never can see the exact middle of your back either. And you start feeling things. But eventually I was satisfied that she had to have bailed off at some point, and set about trying to get all the bits of web off. It must have taken her HOURS to spin that thing. I feel kinda bad about it now, but when I got home and really DID strip off, I had to smile...I had ridden the ten miles back home with an old dried out katydid husk flapping from the side of my do-rag.

I think I will have to install one of those on-board cameras like the cops have in their cruisers. Some of this stuff is just too good to miss!!

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