I am so sorry for your loss. First, you MUST report this to law enforcement immediately. Even if they tell you that you cannot press charges against this person(which I cannot imagine as he was guilty of trespassing at the very least), the law enforcement officers should make an 'information report' about the incident. Secondly, find out exactly what the law says where you live. I live in a rural area with no leash law, so dogs can run free as they please. HOWEVER, once a dog steps off its own property, it can be shot if it is a threat to any person or animal. Thus, in our area, your neighbor could have legally shot the dog on his property or even if it was on county property like in a roadway, but could not come onto your property and legally shoot it as he did. Third, in addition to reporting the incident to the police, report it to the humane society if your area has one. Fourth, consult an attorney about how to proceed in protecting your property from this person and his animals. In some jurisdictions you must clearly post No Trespassing signs. In others, you must mark your perimeter with a certain color of paint. You may have to send a "cease and desist" letter informing this person that criminal charges will be filed if he trespasses onto your property. You obviously need a fence to keep your animals home, and his animals out, and I realize that is a major expense. Consulting an attorney is also an expense, but you have a very difficult situation on your hands and need to be careful every step of the way to ensure you understand the law and comply with it yourself. It also will help establish firmly for you just what your legal rights are. Fifth, you need to inform this neighbor that the encroachment of his animals on to your property will no longer be tolerated. It is best to do this in writing. You will have to decide for yourself what steps to take if the animals come onto your property again. It is best to think about this and decide in advance what to do. That way you don't make a snap judgement in the heat of the moment that you might regret. I would find it almost impossible to even attempt to maintain a friendly relationship with someone who came onto my property and behaved as your neighbor did. I suspect it is time to worry less about getting along & being a good neighbor and time to worry more about protecting yourself, your family, your animals and your property. You know, a person who would kill an animal in front of its family on its own property might do just about anything. Be careful. Finally, if you want to forgive this person, fine. Do the Christian thing and forgive him if you can. BUT, do not forget! I suspect that a person like this, if he knows you have forgiven him, might do something similar in the future because he got away with it once. Again, my condolences for the loss of your beloved pet, and especially because you had to witness such a heinous event. I hope everything works out for you and your family.

I have had two homes built, and have had my share of issues as well. Not that this applies but we are now doing our own addition, not a new home, and are learning some of the challenges contractors run into. Bellamay is correct about the "handyman" reality in Maine. I will support the concept of flying in a licensed contractor from another state or city. Sierraeast is also correct regarding the foundation. Having it literally inspected, and it will cost you, will not only give you peace of mind, but will be to the advantage of your builder if you are proven incorrect... It's an all win situation. i.e. builder doesn't object to the inspection at your cost, if you are right, then builder pays for the inspection and the repair. If that will fly. When we built our first home the builder, who I will add had a superior reputation of quality not quantity in building,(6-8 homes a year),it got ugly. I was brought to tears out of anger more than once! As your builder, he was rarely ever there. GC's rarely like housewives after the contract is signed! I ended up (husband had to go to work) demanding a meeting every Friday to review the weeks work. I felt compelled to be on job site every morning. You'd be surprised at the money saved to pay subs that didn't show which would have turned in hours, reality that we paid for #1 grade lumber only to have delivered grade 2 or less. Payed for a 16 high course block basement only to have installed a 12 high. (men in my family are 6'4" and taller, so this was important), and the finishing carpenter installed the kitchen cabinets covering the stove and oven outlets and being it was his error insisted we were to pay extra for the R&R to fix the situation or he quit! He was fired. My suggestions: Use honey first. Speak with your builder. Empathize with his time schedule and position, explain the concerns so far and the worry you have. Ask him/her for their suggestions to stop the failure to do it right as per the contract. IF THE BUILDER IS NOT WORKABLE, THEN ACT NOW AND DO THE FOLLOWING: Meet with your builder every Friday to review the weeks work AND BILLS. Mandate a schedule for the upcoming week and work anticipated. Get names, and times. Be there every morning to be sure it is what it is. Inform your builder you reserve the right to speak to the foreman of each trade to review what YOU paid for and what will be done. Contact your bank and let them know that NOTHING is to be paid too the builder or anyone else unless your signature is on the bill. Make your banker your friend. If the above is not possible because of whatever, then go to the bank and share your concerns and needs. Remember, the banks do not want to finance a loan for shotty work any more than you want to pay for it! It's not to late to put together a notebook of each phase of your new home construction. Include in the notebook what you contractually agreed to (page, section of contract and what page on the blueprints), and who the subs or handy man is. The grade of materials to be used, color numbers, etc. And request, if builder refuses, then demand, that YOU see materials as in the sub-flooring, brand name and look at the color of the paint and see the receipt, counters, cabinets, fixtures... Make sure it's correct and what you agreed to pay for. The builder is notified when deliveries will happen. Remember building a home is no easy task. It takes your emotions, time and energy to get it correct. And when mom and dad aren't home the kids will play! And, that is what the subs/handyman will do. So to speak. Take PICTURES. Finally, go to the loan officer at the bank. Explain to him your problems. Banks usually have attorneys on staff/hand who will get involved should it need to go to that extent. And usually at the banks expense, not yours. Good Luck!!!!!!

Take the stepmom (and for that matter, the divorce) out of the equation for a moment. A family has a vacation planned for a school break, but a teenaged child wants to participate in a youth program with friends instead. This happens all the time in any family with teenagers, not just in non-step families. The stepmom's participation as a chaperone does add a twist, it does make the idea of the whole family going to NYC less attractive, and it sort of makes your decision-making a little "public." But really, those are minor issues. I'm not so sure that the idea of the whole family going to NYC would be such a great one, again, not having anything to do with SM. You wrote, "sd has a hard time making friends and "fitting-in". This is her first year in high-school and we were so hopeful she would find her place with this band. I am thrilled to report that she is thriving with this group! Sooooo  I think she should go with them and bond even more through what can only be a good experience. I would love to be a part of it ...." But your being a part of it could sort of interfere with the group bonding and finding her place that is so important to any kid at this age, when she is forming her identity. Ask any teen; they feel like a whole different person when their parents are around (remember?). I sympathize with your situation with your SD's mom. But I really don't see this as a situation of "have[ing your] plans stepped on" -- it's not like she organized the field trip. It would be very different if, for example, the SM had invited your SD on a trip. But that's not what happened here. Her going as a chaperone sort of makes it feel like that, but it really isn't the same thing. I definitely wouldn't "b) Talk to a lawyer and see about enforcing the split holidays  and forcing her to stay home," so I respectfully disagree with newgardenelf. From the girl's point of view, this is about her going on a field trip rather than a family vacation, not about the relationship between her parents (including you). I think you are handling this very well. In fact, you need not offer to change the date of the Hawaii trip so she can do both; if it isn't convenient to do that, she may just have to choose. My kids sometimes chose to skip really great family trips in favor of youth activities. If it was easy to arrange the trips around their schedules, we did, but if not, they had to choose, and we were careful not to make them feel pressured or guilty if they chose their friends. This stuff is important to teens. Good luck, and have fun on your vacation whatever you decide!

It's rarely a good idea to come off as a tattletale. Better to overlook & let her hang herself w/ her own rope, IMO. Thinking about it, if I were deeply bothered by such an email, I might send a reply to her asking something like, "Does this violate our policy?". This also made me think of a neat site for all kinds of work-related questions, hosted by a very smart woman who appears regularly on APM's Marketplace programs: http://www.askamanager.org/