I know I only have regular thrips (frankinwhatever) but I had them BAAAAD and maybe some of you will find this worth a try. I tried spraying with something nasty once 4 years ago- (it worked, temporarily) but decided quickly it wasn't worth the health of myself and the planet to spray my garden routinely for thrips and so last year I switched to organic soaps only and added nematodes to the soil. It helped to a degree. But I started this year with a pretty bad infestation (leaves more yellow from stippling, than green- all flowers scarred or just unable to open) and after watching my purchased lady bugs fly off, again, I decided I needed to quit killing aphids with the soap so the ladybugs would stay and lay some eggs, so then the lady bug nymps (alligators! who can't fly!) would be there eventually and eat the thrips. ... and doing nothing worked great. I also had a bunch of minute pirate bugs and lacewings adopt my garden (yay! first time ever) and the thrips now have predators to eat them and seem to be gone. No more nose full of bugs when I sniff. I look to make sure there isn't pirate in there ready to bite me now tho! But No more ruined blooms. I did a google search on "aphids and thrips" and found that some people agree- you need aphids to get rid of thrips. The aphids do so little damage, and they've been eaten up anyway now too. So- I know I didn't have chili thrips, but I found that even the soap left me worse off than before for the regular thrips since it was removing all predators of thrips. I don't have any other problem bugs in the garden I can't squish (no JB, no sawflies etc.) so I understand my solution isn't for everyone- just tossing this out for those who may only have a severe flower thrip problem.

some great ideas! it's good to others realizing xeriscaping doesn't mean catcus and gravel - only. i had rotten luck when i first moved to az, even following what you were "supposed to plant" rules. too much water and then not enough water, all the stuff - it wasn't that at all. my yard is humid due to a tree canopy and living w/i a mile of a river + monsoons (then). i switched to heatloving plants that tolerated humidity and did fine, immediatley. i didn't even have to add water. bananas and cannas do better for me than cactus. i got the idea from an old 1950's s.w. garden club book. a mile away in any direction and i wouldn't be able to grow the same things. there is a lot of variation within any area. don't assume too quick what the problem is. i dig a hole apx 6" deep, fill it and wait for it to drain to help me deciede how long i need to water. if your soil is fast draining, it should show up doing that. you try using some shade cover to reduce evaporation rates, larger leaf plants that use moisture through leaves (and trap it with shade canopy). i've also heard of layering plastic under the roots to help retain water (never tried it). the additives that retain water work very well - esp the kind that look like they turn to a jelly when wet - but it sounds like you've tried those. that's what makes me suspicious that something else might be going on if you've seen no results using things like that. if previous owners used some of the "kill everything" weed killers, it can take awhile before that's worked out of the soil (if it ever is).

Yeah, I have many fond memories of going rabbit and squirrel hunting with my Grandfather and his beagle, Pixie. The first time Pixie kicked up a rabbit I started to chase after them but GF grabbed me and said "Wait right here, they'll be back." Sure enough that rabbit came running back down the trail with Pixie hot on her tail, and GF rolled the rabbit with his shotgun. Next time we went hunting GF had his 22 rifle and Pixie would spot the squirrel in the tree and when it would run to the other side of the tree, Pixie would go around the other side and bark until it came back to our side so GF could get a shot. I thought Pixie was the smartest dog in the world! I asked GF how Pixie knew when we were rabbit hunting or squirrel hunting since she always knew what to do even though he carried a different gun. He just laughed and said "She just does." Years later I figured out GF knew where the rabbits and squirrels could be found and he would take us to that particular area of the farm. The dog was just responding to the game that was presented to us. And it wasn't the dog that was smart enough to chase the rabbit back to us, that's just what rabbits do to get back to their hole. :) BTW He used the telephone pole to do all his skinning off of. I use a mesquite tree. ;)

A good role model does not refuse to allow a child to have a picture of their parent. PERIOD. Both of you apparently have forbidden at least one child to have a picture. He threw away the first one. You took away the second one. You said how UGLY she is in it. Your DH refused to allow your ex's picture. Neither of you seem to realize how damaging that can be... and it's not damaging to the child's relationship to the OTHER parent, it's going to damage YOUR relationship with the child. They will blame YOU for not allowing them to have a picture of their parent. My son was the product of an assault... not a loving relationship or even a casual one night stand. But, if MY son had asked to put up a picture of his father, as much as it would have turned me inside out... I would have done that FOR MY SON. Just the manner that you refer to them in your posts tells me that even if you think you are being discreet by not saying things directly to the child and that you are disguising why you are angry, that the child still feels the anger you express. You cannot hide anger. Do you really think it matters to the child, WHY you are angry? They live in a place with angry parents. That's not healthy. (and trust me, I deal with frustration & anger on a daily basis.. my SD lies, manipulates, and does whatever she can to split up my marriage & make my life miserable. I KNOW how horrible it is to live with anger... that's why I'm in therapy.) But, my frustration/anger is because of things SD has done to me.. not what her mother does or how her mother is. I'm in therapy & learning to disengage so MY anger does not impact HER life. And, since I've been in therapy, my anger level has dropped a great deal. Living with rage & anger within you also cripples your ability to be a good role model. As for your kids being jealous or feeling slighted because one of the other children gets more... well, aren't you going to teach your children that life just isn't fair all the time. Some kids get great parents. Some kids get crappy parents. Some kids don't have ANY parents. Life is not fair. It doesn't need to be evened out by sneaking & lying to your spouse. That teaches them that it's okay to be deceitful if it gets you what you WANT. My oldest son grew up getting two of everything. Two birthday parties every year, two Christmas', two Easter baskets... etc. My younger kids didn't grow up in two homes. And unfortunately for them, I spent a great deal of time, money & energy in court over stupid things as well as important things for their older brother. My younger kids weren't always happy & they'd say it's not fair that older brother has so much more, gets so much more attention, etc. Life is NOT fair. It's an important lesson to teach/learn. And I'm glad you're kids have good grades. My SD12 is failing in school. That's the path she has chosen. We do not party. We are home every night. We work hard & try to do the right thing. We have never fought in our house. But, there she is... failing. I'm sure there are kids from horrible homes that excel in school & kids that live in the lap of luxury that don't do well, drop out or fail. It's good if you set good standards & encourage them to do well in school & are pleased with the results. But, having a child with good grades does not make one a good role model. Allowing your children to see you berated is teaching your children something... only your children will know what message they are getting from it. My DH grew up in a home, where I believe he witnessed his mom berated by his dad & one day he stepped into that pattern & thought he would treat me that way. Thank goodness MY parents taught me that nobody has the right to treat me that way & the first time DH tried it with me, I didn't hesitate to tell him that's not acceptable. PERIOD. I'm not trying to attack you at all & I understand your frustration... but, if you refuse to acknowledge the problem and YOUR role in the problem, how can you find a solution? Unless you just want someone to validate your feelings & say that it's okay to act out like this and deal with your family this way... I don't think that's going to happen. It's unhealthy for you and it's damaging to your children. And we are saying this, not to insult or hurt you, but out of caring & concern. If you continue to hold onto the anger, you will destroy what's left of your marriage & your family will be broken up... and you will still live with the anger because as Myfampg said, it only hurts you. Your reaction to it is hurting your children.