Great idea, Katy, but why not use the Auto-Epiph Christmas Tree System(TM) instead?

Auto-Epiph lets you deck the boughs with twinkling, cheering electric lights in a pleasing array of color choices. Go ahead and drape 'em -- they're lovely and delicate looking, but stand up to even the most impatient toss of a pre-holiday-weary DH trying to get the job done before supper.

But wait, we haven't told you the secret of Auto-Epiph! When the holiday is past, simply set the "self-Epiphany" timer device, place the entire tree on the backyard compost pile, driveway or other convenient place, and your tree will self-immolate in seconds!

Yes, Auto-Epiph is both self destructing and totally biodegradable! That dried-out, needle-dropping fir that once had you singing "O' Tannenbaum" and sharing rosy holiday moments, will go out in a final blaze of glory that will have your family and neighbors talking about it for years to come. And, you can spread the ashes on your garden for a season of lush plants, flowers, fruits and vegetables. Talk about the Ultimate Christmas Gift for your garden!

Auto-Epiph is the world's first and only system that saves you from the backbreaking labor of removing the lights from your holiday tree. But it's price won't break your wallet -- only $19.95 guarantees you a season of holiday job, followed by easy, hassle-free post-holiday cleanup! Call now for your Auto-Epiph, and we'll throw in a 2007-safety certified fire extinguisher absolutely free!

I noticed that our local nursery now advertises Christmas tree storage. Your tree (artificial I assume) will be stored for the entire year, decorated or not, as you wish, until next season.
If I must have a tree, it has to have no lights, only ribbons, birds and sentimental favourite decorations. If given my choice though....no indoor tree at all! Christmas simply involves too much STUFF these days for my taste.
I'm all for beauty, song and sharing though!

Oh Cady, Cady, Cady,
As much as I can see some value to your product I feel the need to share with you and all possible consumers that the De-Lighter is a far superior product that we believe will equal the stature of the well known "Clap on Clap off". Correct me if I am wrong but haven't I read news reports regarding a class action suite Auto-Epiph Christmas Tree System(TM) vs John Q Public. The reported article seemed to refer to a number of consumers now walking around with singed and or missing body hair.
Bug,
"Christmas simply involves too much STUFF these days for my taste."
I read an article in the Providence Journal "Hot trees for a very cool Christmas" Âsorry I couldnÂt link for one reason or another. I guess England sets the stage for tree/holiday designers last year the "cool tree" was an upside down tree and this year it is the black Christmas tree. One of the more popular tree sites in the states is www.treeforme.com where they have sold out of black trees but it is not too late for you to purchase a bubble tree  8 footer for $450, or the old classic silver or pink tinsel tree. Way too much disposable incomeÂbut can I interest you in a De Lighter. kt

Ah, the tinsel trees. I seem to recall those being taken off the market after people were electrocuted by them. Sounds like a Dan Ackroyd skit.

kt, we just finished off a wedding event in our family in early September. We succeeded in making it an emotional and beautiful event but did come way too close to some "cool" items. First there was the threat of tattooed rings. (Phew! They were nixxed!) My late mother's article was exciting reading for DD. There it was described how historically, the first wedding dresses were always black. We escaped the black wedding garb situation too, due, I like to think, to my brilliant responses: "How ordinary. Everyone is doing that these days."

And now her small family will come from Alberta and celebrate a late Christmas here. I hope the fact that black trees are so cool means they will be out of stock. Our Fraser Fir is parked in the garage until the 24th. If it turns brown by then, well at least it will be natural and inexpensive.

Gardenbug, if that happens, you will be on the cutting edge. One of the decorating magazines this month shows the skeleton of last year's tree painted red and then used as this year's tree. Quite fetching.

Thought I would share from the same Providence Journal article.
"Did You Know?
Artificial Christmas trees originated in Germany in the late 1800s. Metal wire trees were covered with goose, turkey, ostrich or swan feathers that were dyed green to imitate pine needles.

In the 1930s, the Addis Brush Co. created the first artificial-brush tree with the same machinery used to make toilet brushes. The Addis "Silver Pine" tree, patented in 1950 had a revolving light with colored gels to shine different shades on the tree.

The hottest trend in conventional artificial trees today are spectacular looking. the newest designs rely on exacting molds of real tree limbs and needles. Basically people go out in the woods find a good specimen cut off a branch pack it in dry ice and send it to China where someone will make a mold."

That Addis toilet brush tree seems like a great idea; it completely solves the problem of what to do with the darn thing in the off-season. Talk about your hottest trends...

Personally, we *love* lighting up our dead tree in the back yard once it's reached the right level of tindery dryness. It may be the only thing that keeps us shelling out for a "real" tree every December.

HI Folks:
I am ordinarily a lurker...but here I am ...
Digginthedirt - your story reminds me of the sight of columnar cedar trees in Falmouth one year. We visit my cousin in Falmouth once a year. One year I noticed that the gas staion (at the junction of 157 and ? the route going to Seacrest and off to Mashpee?) had planted a line of cedar trees as a screen. They were tall and I thought they would not survive in that location. Well, I was correct. The next year the same cedar trees were dead, but painted with red, white and blue stripes! wow.

Back to the first post from runktrun: years ago when we were first married, my DH and I decorated a very small pine tree with strings of club moss ( well that should not be done now, since some club mosses are endangered ) and various other natural items, pine cones, etc. ah- sigh.

I still think you can opt for no electric lights...how about little mirrored ornaments...

but of course, you still have that new invention the de-lighter...um, I work in the Intellectual property office of UMass, so my advise is to keep this under your hat if you are truly serious, make a proto type and see if it works. Check the US patent office website...www.uspto.gov
Then if it fails and you can't make it "fly" ;-) then you could sell it as a sketch for an SNL episode :-D

Good Luck and merri xmas to all :-) or happi nu year or solstice, whichever you prefer ;-)
Cheers- back to lurk mode
Maryanne in WMass

Too funny, Maryanne - I had meant to get a photo of those trees at routes 151 and 28. I thought it was the funniest, most desperate and tasteless bit of gardening I'd ever seen. To this day, whenever I drive by there I remember those poor trees, and sometimes I laugh out loud about it. Thanks for the reminder, and happy holidays (all of them) to you too.
Cheers - DtD, in Falmouth

The Tulins are way ahead of you folks. Last year paralyzed Christmas tree went up in the corner of our kitchen (mother in law would kill herself falling over it in the living room)I did want to decorate it. My husband did not care. Apparently, no one else did, either. For a short while we worried that our eldest daughter, who has mental retardation, would be upset. Oh no, she just walked by and made no comment. The 21 year old proudly showed it to her friends. Maybe the 18 year old was a little sad or embarrased, but she wouldn't let on. There it stood, naked as a jaybird, until it went out to compost most expediently.

Now this year, I am taking charge. I have an antique iron african violet stand which was ridiculously expensive and I've never used. I don't grow houseplants anymore, and at Christmas I've gotten organized enough to have 12 pillar candles of just the right dimension that would transform this object into a candlelabra.

I'm going out to buy 10 houseplants, maybe just pointsettas and that will be our christmas tree. No muss, no fuss and by February all the plants will be utterly dead, and will function as the real trees have in the past: compost fodder.

All of you who responded so far made me laugh out loud, really loud!
marie/aka idabean

Marie, maybe your family thinks it's a new trend, like the black-painted Christmas trees. The new, ultra-hip "Minimalist Tree" style. If your friends see it, what do you want to bet that next year everyone want's a "minimalist" Christmas tree? heehee

two important corrections to that note Idabean sent: I did not want to decorate the tree. And I'm not organized enough to have 12 candles the right size all at once on a given day, even if the day is Christmas.
marie

oo-oo--I thought of more -- and I am normally Ms. Scrooge...

I know a woman who has a very tiny artificial tree in her kitchen. She decorates it with all of her (and old relatives') old costume jewelry. Actually, it's pretty and no lights required. I may try that.

My neighbor used to decorate her Norfolk Island pine. Well, this year it's nearly dead, so it's recovering - no deco a la Charlie Brown. Maybe I'll try it with mine.

I do like the utterly naked tree idea! au naturel, now that's progressive! forget the e-juice sucking lights.

A pyramid of poinsettias is a nice alternative, too. I suppose you could put a few minimal lights on them....

...and to DtD...maybe someday we'll meet in Falmouth...

Have a merri "festivus" - not know who is celebrating what ...
Cheers
Maryanne in WMass

Our tree is STILL parked in the garage. Maybe we'll (I'll) decorate it this weekend. No electric lights have ever adorned a tree of ours in the past. Will this be the first time? Who knows!

{{gwi:1099905}}

Gardenbug, I think if you leave that festive red netting on the tree, your cleanup will be even easier than it would be with Katy's De-Lighter (tm). You're at least 2 steps ahead of me; first, you have a tree, and second, you have room in your garage for it.

Is it New Years yet?

ROTFLMBO; no tree here yet either :D

So many people who haven't bought trees yet. Yet, I've gone by tree lots where everything has been sold, and they closed early. My neighbors have had their lights, decorations and trees up for two weeks now. Even I have a wreath, kissing ball, swag and boxwood table decoration...but only because we made them in floral design class last week. If we hadn't, my sole seasonal decor would have been my trusty 20-year-old Norfolk Island pine with a strand of Mardi Gras beads draped over its spindly boughs. lol

'bug, I almost bust a seam laughing at that photo. The netting is perfect for just hooking the ornaments directly to it. Or put it outside and rub suet over the netting for the chickadees and nuthatches. teehee

I was driving along 1A going towards Glouscester yesterday, and there was a roadside "nursery" selling off its Xmas trees half price! I was just too beat to stop, but whatever the price, it was better than full. Where did I just see an article about the best potted live trees for one's climate? The 18 year old voiced some objection to the iron tree, and I sensed my husband capitulating to paternal guilt. Not me. I am unmoved. Like Iron.
Marie/Idabean

Happy December 23 Festivus Day

I thought all along that I was standing alone at this holiday cross roads but you all have with great humor and hysterical examples really helped to take the edge off holiday decorating for meÂthanks. Well as always truth is much stranger than fiction, I canÂt believe I spent time fretting over the issue of having to un decorate our tree. How could it not have dawned on me when I was hanging little Lady Apples on the tree that Basil our 100 lb lab with a big appetite and the uncanny ability to spring jump 6-7 feet high from a standing position would be more than happy to undecorated for us. The funny thing was we found all of the ornament hooks that I had used to hang the apples lined up all in a row on his bed in the same fashion a party guest would line up appetizer tooth picks on their plate. The tree is now looking dry, sparse, and tired I have replaced the apples with millet and as long as the dog doesnÂt develop a taste for bird food we might have something to gather around on Christmas morning. My sister the tropical lurker came across this link and wanted me to share it with you all. Now a Festivus Pole/ De Lighter marketed together could make for one great holiday combo package.

Here is a link that might be useful: 'Seinfeld' Spurs Festivus Pole Sales

All was calm, all was bright....
Yesterday DH set up the tree in the livingroom.
I wrapped gifts.

But this morning, while I was emptying waste baskets and heading for the dump, I discovered that DH had removed the red netting from the tree! Oh no!

Now what????