mr toad- What a good idea to have the apple trees espaliered along the edge of the garden! I am going to cheat a little and put two dwarf apple trees along the back of the "fairy garden" which is close to the potager. If I wasn't leaving such a big area for the grape arbor, I would have more room, but I've always wanted a big grape arbor with a table and chairs underneath. Our neighbor had one years ago and I just loved it! He had the most wonderful concord grapes and would let us eat all we wanted...great guy. When he moved, the new owners cut down all the grapes :( If I had been older, I would have tried to save a few starts, but I was only about 8 years old at the time. However, it has inspired me to plan my entire kitchen garden around the grape arbor!

I am not an inviting cook. I especially don't like having others stand behind me. If you're going to work by me, work over there, buddy. Better still, just let me work by myself. We designed this kitchen so that nobody would be in a position where a second person stands behind waiting for your space. The design was worth while. __ If a guest event was touted as a "bring your food, share it" you have to accept others in. In fact, plan to stay out of kitchen as much as possible. Just direct them to the right drawer or serving spoon. OT to JTerrilyn, codger mode on here...I think part of it is that people have lost the ability to really get together to converse intensively. Dinner parties, huddling around a coffee table in living room, arguing about politics and religion at kitchen table, these are things that are disappearing. Part of it might be intrusion of t.v. Many rooms--living rooms, family rooms, kitchens, basement rooms--are now planned so everyone faces same direction, to see the screen. If the peninsula has every seat facing same place and the cook is in that place, are we surprised that the cook also becomes the master of ceremonies? And that guests orient themselves in homage and offer service? We just had a spontaneous wine and appetizer event with neighbor couple Sunday night. I packed up a tray and sent them with it to the living room and DH followed them. I said "see you shortly" and kept on preparing a second tray more efficiently than if people were watching me. We spread out small plates, napkins, horsdouvers, wine glasses on the coffee table and laps and had a great time, four heads close together. And all equals. Nobody presides. ___ How weird! As I wrote the above, an image of one of those stork-like bar table sets appeared at bottom of screen. Software must be trained to pair words in poster's text with advertisers!

I agree with everything said here. I think that we have all, as individuals been collectively sold down the river to get to the point where we have to consider whether we should or should not retire, if we have enough money to do so. We were not ever meant to work most of our days away, most of our lives, simply to continue existing doing the same working in order to keep existing. I am 50 and have never married... I'm not too good socially. But I have saved enough money now to retire, I believe. And I will enjoy the rest of my life... I hope at least another 25 or 30. Even though I live without any love in my life, I have plenty of activites to keep my mind engaged and curious. Over the past year, I have read a lot of books on retirement and what can do in that phase of one's life. This site also gave me some ideas: Here is a link that might be useful: Retirement Joy - retirement advice etc

Hmmmm....I love being single and fully enjoy being "captain of the ship". Not that I wouldn't enjoy spending time with a compatible man, or having someone around to clean the gutters once in awhile, however my happiness is not contingent on this. The worst thing for me about being single is being misunderstood and subjected to other people's ignorant misconceptions about singlehood! For example, most people assume that because I am middle-aged, single, and never married "there must be something wrong with me". Perhaps I am too independent, but basically, I've never met Mr. Right and wasn't willing to compromise (and there have been many suitors). On more than one occasion, married women have assumed that because I'm single I am interested in poaching their husbands. Wow, the LAST man on earth I would be interested in is a married man, especially your pot-bellied, boring husband. What's more, do you know how many married or attached men have solicited me? Despite the fact that I do not give them the slightest encouragement nor do they get a toe in the door. Being single and alone, having the luxury to explore your own inner psyche, control your own destiny, and follow your own spiritual path unfettered - it is grossly under-rated.