Long & Scott Farms spray their cukes THREE TIMES A DAY with GOD KNOWS WHAT... that said, darn tasty cukes.

i was just in manhattan and, in an upscale grocer, i noticed a display box from L&S farms full of... you guessed it, chemical-cukes.

Wow, spraying three times a day...I'm doing good if I spray every ten days, no wonder I have so much trouble with Downey Mildew. When I leave my house at 0500 my truck windows are usually covered with dew, living right off the water I don't get frost but I do contend with very high humidity. I've got to find a high humidity cuke with good mildew resistance.

Very interesting Tom... When you find the perfect cucumber please let me know.

Phoenix being so dry had the same fungal diseases that we have them here.

The spraying is what works, the farmers market that I use to shop told me they do aerial spray of all their crops. They were certified organic.
The did have the lemon, Armenian and other cucs that I love.

I am not ready to settle for the wax cucs from the store. I would rather get a few from my garden whatever I have to do.

Darn...I don't know a THING about cucumbers. So I guess that makes this post....ready?...."SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM!"

Okay, sorry. I couldn't resist, after your subject line! I don't know about powdery mildew, but at least your cukes aren't getting attacked by...ahem...KILLER RABBITS, WITH SHARP, POINTY TEETH!!

I'll stop now! Hope you find your Holy Grail. (What's with those guys following behind you with the clomping coconut shells?)

Marcia (knowing that those unfamiliar with Monty Python will think I've finally gone totally round the bend)

What's with those guys following behind you with the clomping coconut shells?

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? ;-)

...Or is it the swallows that carry them? :)

I tried some Oriental cuke seeds from evergreen seeds (whose site is shut down, by the way-- hope it's temporary). We planted in October and have harvested at least a few dozen cukes. The plants had been perfect and disease-free until just about two weeks ago; now they're getting a little downy mildew. Supposedly these seeds were good for humid and warm places, and we were pretty happy with the yields. Was it the type of seed that kept us disease-free for so long or just dumb luck?

Jane

Coconuts DO migrate, via swallows, of course...very LARGE swallows...but how FAST do the swallows fly, THAT is the question?

I guess the reason I don't know anything about growing cucumbers is because I don't like 'em. Always give mine to Mark when they show up in a salad. Same with mushrooms (*shudder*).

Interesting thread, though. Someday I am going to grow some real vegetables, just for the experience. (I'll be giving the cukes away, though, if I succeed in growing any.)

Marcia

Thanks Tom, Marcia, and Jane,

This is one of the funniest threads I have read in a long time. I just hope that those VERY LARGE swallows migrate a coconut to my place. Remember they have to flap those wings very fast to carry those coconuts.

Willy

uh-oh... African or European swallows? Now we have ourselves a real conundrum. ;)

African or European??? Ummmm...........?

Thwack-ZOINK!

"ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!"

Was that a laden or an unladen swallow?

Don't ask me...I'm lying broken and pitiful at the bottom of the canyon, muttering weakly to myself, "Euro-gasp-pean, or....wheeeze....Afri-moan-can?" I'm going to have to crawl off and hide in a shrubbery............

A cucumber gardener named Bickell,
Had gardening habits quite fickle,
Draped all over his body,
Were cukes all a gaudy,
Now Bickell is in a real pickle.
or

I'm a gardener and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day,
I harvest cukes from my back yard,
I read the gardening forum,
If there were a few more of us,
We'd have ourselves a quorum.

We have a poet in the forum! Very good!

*striding around in a red plaid shirt and singing loudly along with Billbrandi*

"Oooooh, I'm a gard-en-er, tho' I'm quite lame,
And now my garden is less than tame,

I cannot work in my back yard,
So instead I play right here.
Don't need no stinkin' sweat and toil,
When posting brings me cheer!!

*goes off humming happily to self, thinking maybe
Santa will bring her the Complete Monty Python for Christmas*

Marcia (anyone seen my Norwegian Blue?)

Very good, Marcia. Sounds like you and I have the same taste in entertainment. My Norwegian Blue, given up for dead last month, has been resurrected and was last seen occupying a branch in my navel orange tree. I called on a representative of the Ministry of Silly Walks to make a house call.

http://www.sillywalksgenerator.com/

........Bill

Ooooooooooh, no!!! Not the Ministry of Silly Walks!!! *me, making a half turn with leg extension and semi-hitch to the right*

Next thing you know, I'll be back in the Comfy Chair!!! (AAAARRGGG...NOT the COMFY CHAIR!)

Are you sure that's YOUR Norwegian Blue you're seeing? I had it on good authority that yours was expired. Deceased. Bleedin' DEAD!! Whilst mine, on the other hand, is merely pinin' for the fjords!

And now for something completely different...I'm going to go check out that link, Bill. Sounds like it could be right up my alley. First, maybe a snack...some Whizzo, perhaps?

Marcia (So much for cucumbers! Just look how bad we can be when given the SLIGHTEST opportunity!)

Marcia - Oh learned one, possessor of Python knowledge both famous and obscure, I surrender. I can tell when a fellow Python admirer has me whipped. Like Arthur to the Knights Who Say 'Ni', I owe you a shrubbery from my back yard (just please don't take my sapodilla-I just planted it)....Bill

If you need to plant a nice shade tree, I recommend the larch.

Julie

*ominous voice intoning in a distinctly LEARNED fashion*
"The........Larch."

(Disclaimer: Absolutely NO WOMBATS were killed in the making of the above distinctly learned statement.)

Bill, your sapodillo is safe from me. I'm going to give up gardening entirely. *ducks as a falling sheep plummets to ground nearby* I'm taking on full time work as the Village Idiot, and must spend my days sitting on a dry stone wall and making inane comments to passersby until the whistle blows at 5:00 and the night shift takes over. Therefore, gardening is RIGHT OUT.

And just so you know, I watch a lot of things besides Monty Python. Why just the other day, I was enjoying all day, back to back episodes of Fawlty Towers! (Whatever you do, don't...mention...THE WAR!)

*wink-wink, nudge-nudge*

Marcia

Ah, Marcia.......Fawlty Towers-I remember watching it on Saturday night at 11 PM on the local PBS channel (shows what kind of nightlife I indulge it). One of my VERY FAVORITE Python sketches is the story of highwayman Dennis Moore who steals from the rich to give to the poor.....only he steals (and gives) only lupins. I've never grown lupins but they must be the quintessential Python flower.

http://www.britishcomedyclassics.co.uk/monty-python-dennis-moore/182/

Does anyone know where I might obtain some lupin seeds for this spring's garden? And just what the heck is a larch anyway? Anyone out there ever seen a larch tree? How do we know the Pythons simply didn't make it up and everyone else believed it?.............Bill

Hehehe...sounds like YOUR nightlife was about as interesting as MINE at that time, Bill. I remember the lupine sketch quite well...after the lupine thing falls apart, Dennis Moore ends up stealing from the POOR and giving to the rich! He always got it wrong! Something like:

"Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Riding through the land,
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
With his merry band,
Steals from the Poor,
Gives to the Rich,
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Stupid B****!

(Pahdon mah French!)

We have native lupines here Bill, but I don't know where you would acquire seeds for them. And I'm not sure whether non-natives would grow in our heat and humidity or not. We'll have to research. The natives are quite pretty, though not as showy as many other types.

And the larch is an evergreen tree of the Alps and probably other European areas. The American larch is also called a tamarack, but that's all I know about larches. Oh, and I think they have cones. There you have it. The larch.

I'd hate to have to pick my favorite MP sketch. Anything with John Cleese in it works for me, though I like Michael Palin a lot, too. And I don't think either one of them is known for growing cucumbers, which shows how far we have come from tomncath's original post.

My son is tall and skinny, with very long legs, and he could do the Silly Walk perfectly. In fact, it was his favorite avenue of escape whenever he was in trouble as a teenager. You can't keep yelling at a kid who is doing the Silly Walk around the kitchen, and going, "Yes, Mum...yes, Mum" in a British accent. So I guess the Ministry of Silly Walks might be my all time favorite. But there were sooooooo many!

Marcia (btw, I couldn't get that link to the sillywalk thingie to open up. Reckon I'll try again tomorrow. Going to go check out the Dennis Moore/Lupine one now.)

Here's the link to the silly walks generator in case I typed it wrong.....Bill ......(and I still want solid evidence that a larch exists. Might this be a larch conspiracy? are the seeds spread by black helicopters?)

http://www.sillywalksgenerator.com/

The...Larch.Size>

The...Cucumber.

Marcia

Ok, now I am a true believer. By the way, I have a large collection of Python sketches collected on my computer (see below). If you would like a copy send me an address to send to at billbrandi@aol.com and I'll send a copy on DVD. My collection includes:

FILE A Book at Bedtime.avi
FILE Aaaargh.avi
FILE Accidents.avi
FILE Agatha Christie (Inspector Tiger).avi
FILE Agatha Christie (Railway timetables).avi
FILE Always look on the bright side of life.avi
FILE Anagrams.avi
FILE Apeal for Sanity.avi
FILE Archeology Today.avi
FILE Architects Sketch.avi
FILE Argument Clinic.avi
FILE Army Protection Racket.avi
FILE Assaulting a pollice officer.avi
FILE Biggus Dickus.avi
FILE Black Knight.avi
FILE Blackmail.avi
FILE Blood Donor.avi
FILE Bomb on Plane.avi
FILE Boxing.avi
FILE Brain Specialist.avi
FILE Brave Sir Robin.avi
FILE Bring out your Dead.avi
FILE Brontosauruses.avi
FILE Buying a Bed.avi
FILE Buying an Ant.avi
FILE Cannibalism.avi
FILE Central Criminal Court.avi
FILE Cheeses.avi
FILE Chemist sketch.avi
FILE Classics.avi
FILE Climbers.avi
FILE Coal Mine.avi
FILE Conquistador Coffee Campaign.avi
FILE Crunchy Frog.avi
FILE Cut-price airline.avi
FILE Cycling tour I.avi
FILE Cycling tour II.avi
FILE Cycling tour III.avi
FILE Cycling tour IV.avi
FILE Dead Parrot.avi
FILE Dirty Hungarian phrasebook.avi
FILE Disturbing.avi
FILE Endings.avi
FILE Falling From Building.avi
FILE Finishing sentences.avi
FILE Fire brigade.avi
FILE Flying Lessons.avi
FILE Free Dung.avi
FILE French Knights.avi
FILE Funniest Joke.avi
FILE Funny roles.avi
FILE Haggle.avi
FILE Hospital.avi
FILE How not to be seen.avi
FILE How to do it.avi
FILE Hunters.avi
FILE I Wish to Report a Burglary.avi
FILE Insurance sketch.avi
FILE Italian Lesson.avi
FILE Jape lecture.avi
FILE Job Hunter.avi
FILE Jungle.avi
FILE Kilimanjaro Expedition.avi
FILE Life in the BBC.avi
FILE Lifeboat.avi
FILE Marriage Registry office.avi
FILE Merchant bank.avi
FILE Mikel Angelo.avi
FILE Ministry of Silly Walks.avi
FILE Mobsters.avi
FILE Molluscs Live TV Documentary.avi
FILE Money.avi
FILE Motor insurance sketch.avi
FILE Mouse Organ.avi
FILE Mr. and Mrs. Git.avi
FILE Mr. Hilter.avi
FILE Multiple Murderer Court Scene.avi
FILE Murder.avi
FILE Nudge Nudge.avi
FILE Oscar Wilde Scetch.avi
FILE Peasents.avi
FILE Penguins.avi
FILE Philosophers.avi
FILE Poet Father.avi
FILE Prince.avi
FILE Radio and TV.avi
FILE Restaurant Sketch.avi
FILE Secret Service Dentists.avi
FILE Self Defence.avi
FILE Sheep.avi
FILE Silly Job Interview.avi
FILE Silly sketch.avi
FILE Sir Phillip Sidney I (Raid).avi
FILE Sir Phillip Sidney II (Gay boys in bondage).avi
FILE Spam.avi
FILE Stoning.avi
FILE The Butcher Who is Alternately Rude and Polite.avi
FILE The Colosseum.avi
FILE The Free Repetition of Doubtful Words Sketch.avi
FILE The Knights Who say Ni 1.avi
FILE The Knights Who say Ni 2.avi
FILE The Men Who Speak....avi
FILE The Smuggler.avi
FILE The Spanish Inquisition.avi
FILE Tim the Enchater and the Killer rabbit.avi
FILE Tobacconist's (Prostitute Advert).avi
FILE Toupee Department.avi
FILE Travel Agent.avi
FILE Twentieth-Century Vole.avi
FILE Twit Of The Year.avi
FILE Undertakers sketch.avi
FILE Vocational Guidance Counsellor.avi
FILE Wife swap.avi
FILE Witches.avi
FILE Word problems.avi
FILE Ypres 1914.avi

Wow...you have the (ready for it?) HOLY GRAIL of Monty Python skits in your collection! Many of my very favorites, too. Be on the lookout...unlike the Spanish Inquisition, you can EXPECT an email from me.
*Know what I mean? Eh? Eh?*

Marcia

Oh My......I think I fell down the rabbit hole...what is going on here???

Larch? Billbrandi is over-filed for sure...where the hell am I??? Mummy????

Not to worry, Cindee. Tomncath mentioned Monty Python, and some of us went over the edge in a veritable swoon of fond remembrances. We couldn't help ourselves. I kept trying to mention cucumbers again, but somehow it all came right back to those zany Brits, over and over. Maybe we've all had too much eggnog! (Is there such a thing as too much eggnog?)

I am still waiting for someone to answer the original question, though, in case I ever decide to grow cukes. I don't LIKE them, but that never stopped Tony from growing tomatoes, so who knows? Perhaps I'll find the perfect one for our humid climate?

Marcia

Now this has been a hoot! I go away for a week and return to this....who cares about the cukes. You two have been more fun, I've gotta dust off some of my MP and start watching it again. Bill, I'll be sending you an email tonight when I get home ;-)

Marcia, you sure came out of the closet :-)

Closet? Closet??? Was I in the closet? Why, I thought sure everyone here knew exactly how crazy I am. Besides, I only went IN the closet to look for Cardinal Richelieu, to ask him if he would keep an eye out for my missing Norwegian Blue. (He said, "Oui! I will sure do that thing!") Or maybe I was looking for my Village Idiot dunce cap. I can't remember now. But I'm out again, for sure. Exposed to all the world as the loony lady (and I use the term "lady" loosely) that I am. But it's not my fault...YOU started it, you know! (grinning like the twit of the year, here)

Now I'm off to the store to do a bit more Christmas shopping. See you guys later!

(Well, this isn't actually ME leaving for the store, but I'll be walking in a somewhat similar fashion. Just slightly shorter. And rounder. And not kicking quite so high.)

Marcia

All I can say is, "You put Basil in the soup?!?"

Susannah
(What makes you think she was a witch?)