I think your husband needs to stop telling his sister things that get back to your MIL. Your business is private and nothing you say or do should be told to your MIL because she obviously takes that information and figures out ways to use it against you. Also, it would be very enlightening for your husband to hear both sides of a story in a way that he cannot refute. Have him listen in on a conversation with his mother but don't let her know he's listening. Then when she calls him to complain about "how you mistreated her again", he'll see that she is exaggerating everything. Men are fixers. I'm not the least bit surprised that your DH wants you and his mom to get along and that he thinks 2 weeks is enough. Men don't typically hold grudges or over-think things like women tend to do and I think he thinks it's been long enough. (I had a problem like this for years with my late MIL and the day DH figured it all out was an amazing day for all of us. lol She went off on him and opened his eyes forever. BUT, in 2 weeks, he was over it and things went back to almost normal. She was his mom and he wasn't going to cut her out of his life forever, even though she deserved it. She also never apologized or admitted fault, but he knew.) So my feeble advise- never talk to MIL again without a witness in the room, or if it's a phone call, have someone else on the other line, listening. Have a little voice recorder in your pocket if your words are constantly twisted around by her, until your husband sees the light. And avoid her as much as possible if the 2 of you are unable to come to an agreement. Let DH take the kids to visit her, but be careful because she may try to use your kids against you and she will bad-mouth you to them in ways that are subtle but effective. Good luck. I don't envy you at all. My MIL is gone now and my life is a lot less stressful. When she was alive, I was so thankful that I didn't have children for her to corrupt, like she did her other grandkids. Because we had no kids, I was able to remove myself from her drama and lies.

I think you can make some distinctions between "organizing" and simple daily cleanup that you might do as part of living in a family--doing the dishes, putting away laundry and so forth. --I know they're related in the sense that underlying order helps with maintenance and cleanup, but that's something for your own home; really, you don't need to clean out the attic in your parents' home or throw out their plastic containers. So it is definitely not healthy going into drawers and closets in attempt to "organize"--these actions are part of the parent-parent-child power struggle and you are seeing yourself in the wrong role. You might try a family meeting, but that could be hard without a neutral party such as a family counselor--it would be again, the 21-yr old being the family/marriage counselor. It could be done if you were able to use it simply to state your discomfort and what you feel comfortable doing vs. not, and to ASK for their support. You wouldn't be able to lay down any ultimatums, such as "you have to..." It sounds like you are already at a point at which you would need to have conversation with your dad alone, to some extent, in that you have identified him as a driving force requesting you to fix your mother--if you can't talk with your dad or if he doesn't "get it" in conversation with you alone, he won't get it in the presence of your mother. But, see, you would have to really WANT to stop being in the middle in order to propose to your father, here, I can do this and this, but I would prefer it if you would not ask or expect me to that and that. You could stay there if somehow you are able to change YOURSELF--to develop some serenity and distance from these struggles and just smile and fix an occasional meal, do daily and weekly chores as a good citizen of the family, and, if you really like organizing, graciously do so whenever your mother gives you a target drawer, etc (assuming she doesn't later accuse you of doing it wrong). Some people can manage a year like that. But, another approach as mentioned is to get out your pencil and paper and calculuate your way into moving out and continuing school on your own even if at a slower pace. You would be the one to know whether your father would be willing to discuss tuition or a loan if you move out. But, it can be done with or without their financial support. You could do either approach, and it's not completely wrong to stay to get tuition if you can manage all these other emotions and situations, but you can't really stay and stew about why your parents won't change. It isn't really good for your siblings to watch that dynamic, either, because it certainly won't be a successful strategy for them to follow as they get older. One of the reasons why protecting your siblings isn't a helpful rationale is that, under that reasoning, you would have to stay there until they all leave home.

My brain works a little odd -- let me offer that at the start. I guess I consider room functions first, then assign a subset of the area to achieve it. Any shape can include a (visual) square or rectangle to make the placement work. I can't move my fireplace or the flat TV, so if I get bored with a layout I draw the shape of the room and place the squares/rectangles differently to help with furniture placement. Last year I replaced a sofa with two chairs and that one part of the room became good for conversation and a perfect spot for reading by the fire. Reading this, it sounds weird. :\ My problem is I tend to incorporate the whole space rather than breaking it down into pieces. The drawing helps me focus and shows what can or can;t be done.

Try the brand Palliser. We just got ours (the Venus) and love it. We bought through sofasandsectionals.com and found them to be pleasant to deal with. I wanted brushed aluminum legs on it and could not figure out how to configure it online, so I called and placed the order with a person. It was a nice experience all around. You can see sizes in detail online. We got their new fabric, Phoenix, which feels like soft Nubuk leather. It is different from microsuede and has cleaned up very well, despite our 2 young sons. We got the color Anthracite, which is a very deep gray and it is very nice. I had not been sure about a pure black and were thrilled it came in this color. It is well made and looks great. The size was perfect for the room. I would not want any bigger or smaller.