Mike, thank you for your kind words, and thank your mom too. It isn't often that we find places online where we all can reach out and share sides of ourselves and really build connections to strangers, far and wide, by simply sharing a love for things green and growing. But, I definitely have grown to appreciate our little family online and the care that comes from sharing bits and pieces of ourselves.

I will reach out to Laura next and I hope that she is recovering from her loss. 13 years is a lot of memories, and that her loss was so quick, and unexpected - she was in a even worse spot than mine. I had time to say goodbye to my Papi. Six months of sickness and hand feeding, of watching her get a little better, and then a whole lot worse with changes of prescriptions. It was really difficult to make the decision to put her down, but it was the only one I could make. I know that even that last day her body was ready to go, but her spirit kept holding on for me. I keep hoping that there's a rebirth for good souls and that she'll have another chance for a longer, healthier life. I only can wish that she'll have an abundance of love, a warm and caring home, good companions, and plenty of food and toys.
Papi was a really special cat.

That all said, life is moving us forward. I am taking my first long weekend away from my cats since before Papi became sick. I heard from one of my aunt's on Tuesday that my uncle died (very unexpected) - and I'm going to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with family this year. Three days of reconnecting with my aunt, and staying through til the wake so that I can help as necessary with whatever details that need handling.

Seems like every time I turn around, there's another loss. I was not close to my uncle, but I feel horrible that this is one more of the older generation gone. It's sad for my aunts and mom's sake and they feel this loss more tangibly because it's their brother and generation.

So, it will be a bonding week with family. and, my cats will be 'human free' for 4 days (with a neighbor stopping in to feed them).

HI Rosey,

I just read this thread and i will say that i am so touched that you came from here to another thread just to say these wonderful, kind words of support to me for my loss. Even thought you were going through a loss of your own.. you have the heart of gold to say these kind words of comfort to me.

Papi was one lucky little one to have had a loving owner for 13 years.. the same as my little Pepper. It is still hard to even think about the loss. Even today, i locked the door and felt myself checking to see if he was in his usual place.. then reality hit again. I know it will take time, but with people like you who truly understand the hole in our hearts, it makes it a little easier to handle.

I just want to personally say thank you. It seemed to be to much to keep going on the other forum and i didnt want to make anyone feel uncomfortable with more stories to add . So i wanted to end it. I guess im still always thinking of others and i didn't want to bring down the upbeat feeling on a thread. But here is a thread that i stumbled upon thanks to my dear friend Mike. I talked to him tonight and he wanted me to visit this forum.

So many friendly people that i see here and i just wanted to say hello and thank you for you suport and also to send you my condolences to you for your loss. I know it hurts and i hope you can think of the good memories that i also try and think about.

May you have a wonderful CHristmas and all who read and visit this thread.

Take care,

Mahalo!!

Laura

I'm probably the wrong person to add my two cents, but after more than 30 years dedicated to owning and breeding bulldogs, one finds that loss doesn't ever get any easier. One only finds a way to make a kind of personal peace with what is, essentially, a natural part of the cycle of life.

But rather than know my beloved companions were suffering, it was easier and better to know that they were in a better place, eased of all pain, and at peace, at rest, after so many years of faithful service, companionship, and unconditional love. Even the quick loss of a newborn is hard, but I don't pretend to understand why... I just know that there's no suffering, and any memories I hold are good ones.

I've gone through such loss too many times to count, and I hold dear each and every moment spent in happiness... and I keep the thought in mind that this is the process we all go through... a natural cycle we're all a part of. Much more than loss, and much more than death, I fear suffering or the allowing of it. I prefer to think of the energy, the spirit, and its freedom of earthly ills and pain, and the wonderful memories left behind to hold close.

I'm sorry for everyone's losses... may their spirits soar, and the memories left be held tightly.

thank you for those thoughtful words, Laura, and Jodi. I believe that being on here was a huge help in part of my healing process. Every time I was sad, I'd reflect on a plant and on "sinning to buy more" and this helped. I found that being at home, sitting on the couch, and not having her in her spot was what was most difficult. After spending 6 months hand feeding her, morning and night - and having her on my bed every night, right at my left shoulder, or when I was waking she'd crawl up on my chest so that she could be in my face (all up close and personal) - that was and is still hard to think of. But, I am lucky that my other cats have taken up the cause of cheering me up.

When I sit on the couch now, I always have 2 others beside me. And, at night, where Papi would take up all the attention and her alpha nature would keep most of the others away - now I have all of them zoned in different spots on the bed. None have gone into her left shoulder spot (since that first early morning when they all took a turn there) - yet they still are as supportive as cats can be.

The outpouring of kindness here as me besides myself.

I have met the nicest group of human beings besides plant buddies!
My heart still goes to both you Laura and Rosey and for all your past losses, Jodik!
What a beautiful loving picture Rosey:-0)

Mike

If getting a new plant helps you feel better, then it's a very good thing.

Mike is right... it does help to tell friends how we feel... and regardless of how well we all know one another, we're friends through gardening. There's something about flora and fauna that brings out the best in most people... I've met the best bunch of people here, myself.

Jodik,

a new plant is always good, so is having hobbies. I'm trying to learn how to make art this year (it's one of the things on my 'bucket list') ... so I have paints and charcoal, and pastels, and paper, canvases, board ... to cover with my creative thoughts.

When I was visiting my aunt over thanksgiving, we were talking about ponds in the area near her - and, one was mentioned - that it was so toxic - chemical wastes from the early/mid 20th century (welcome to Worcester county!) - anyway - this led to my project for this past weekend. I try to make something creative every weekend (most of which aren't worth displaying, still).

I texted this to one of my friends and she asked me if I was becoming political. I don't understand why caring about our environment is a political agenda item. Shouldn't we all want the earth to be healthier?

Well, caring about Earth, and about each other for that matter, Rosey, should not be political issues... they should be issues everyone wants in on. But I think too many have been bitten by greed, or have forgotten that they are only one tiny part of what makes the world turn, so to speak. It seems as though so many people are self involved, materialistic, apathetic, or they've lost their integrity and empathy. It's a sad world today when compared to the world of my own childhood.

And I don't know if that's because I looked at it through a youth's eyes at that time, or if it really HAS gotten worse... but one rule would serve us all well... the Golden Rule. It's a shame that caring about what is the only planet we have has to be a political issue, but that's what it seems to take to get anything done... and even then, our representatives are often more interested in furthering their own careers than in doing the jobs we pay them to do.

I'd call it "protest art"! It reminds us that there are things we can do to help... even on a small level, like recycling. Every little bit helps!

I like art, too... but since I can't draw or paint, I work more with crafts. I enjoy jewelry design and creation, beading, working with floral arranging... I've done 3 weddings in the past... and I love to read. I'm actually reading a great book right now about our planet... you might enjoy it... it's called "Storms of My Grandchildren" by James Hansen, a leading scientist at NASA's Goddard Institute, and it explains in easy to read terms what humankind has done to the planet, and what we can expect in the near future. It's about climate change. It's fascinating and frightening at the same time, because the science and physics are real, and as we can clearly see, our planet is going through changes.

Anyway... I don't really have a bucket list... I just want to enjoy my family, friends, and the things I love for as long as I can. That's good, though, that you have goals set for yourself... things to try and do. It doesn't matter whether or not anyone else thinks your art is gallery worthy, Rosey... beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if you like what you create, then it's art!

I think it sends a powerful message... and there's no better place to send a message out to the world than through social networking sites, like FB, for example... were I you, I'd share it with everyone I knew!

Jodik, I never said I could draw. :) Hence the reason why I don't always come up with results that are worth showing. I recently attempted to do abstracts with the idea that my lack of drawing skill would be less obvious. I'll show you an example - the flying disk in the middle is "NOT" a saw blade, or a floating alien eye ball. :)

I love the trees! Great work, Rosey!

It's interesting... I can see what I'd like to draw or paint in my mind's eye clearly... but can't make it translate to my hand. I once did a fairly decent rendition of oak leaves in pencil for an art class in high school, but that was my only attempt at drawing. Nothing else seems to work.

But, really... it's what you think that matters. I think it's very artsy!

I've always thought of my hobbies as stress relief. I tend to get very gung-ho, full steam ahead, and six month later it fizzles. I enjoy the process of making things, and most of my hobbies have that element of what can I do with it by xmas. I've done a year of beading, and one of crochet, another of knitting... this year, it should be painting related. But, my skills aren't quite there yet to say that I'm ready to wrap anything I've made up and hand it over.

About a month ago, I bought a whole bunch of memorabilia boxes (the ones people store photos in) - with the idea that I'd hand paint them as gift boxes for under the tree this year. And, haven't completed one of them yet.

So, I'm really behind - and, yes - for a hobby that's supposed to be a de-stressor - I'm beginning to wonder what I'll do about christmas this year - with the boxes not painted, and not having shopped to put anything in them, yet.

I am a work in progress, still. I'll show you my first painting, and give you the story so you can have a chuckle.

My first painting - was supposed to be a modernistic impression of a beautiful woman, nice welll rounded cheeks, dimples, big eyes ... Well, I texted the picture to my friend to get her response and she said ...

"Why are there sunburnt boobs on her face?!?"

now every time I look at the painting, I think - well, we can't control what our audience sees. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Be they rounded cheeks or bosums. :D

I framed it because I wanted to show myself that I can only go upwards from there. It was my starting point. And I laugh every time I look at it - knowing that what should be obvious isn't always necessarily so.

I guess she's the girl who would never have to say - "My eyes are up here." :D

Now she is one embarrassed girl!

Rosey, I am quite impressed here! Just amazing! I use to paint too, the plants took that over too, what time I have left for myself.lol

Beautiful!

Jodik.....You certainly have many amazing talents too and one on them is writing! You could write your own book:-)

Mike

Hi !!!

Mike, I certainly agree with you about Jodi and her writing. She can say things that are so on point and make you feel like you are right beside her saying "YES"

Rosey.. i really like how you think as well.. Your artwork looks good to me!! My artwork comes from messing with jewelry too!! A few years ago i used to travel and sell my jewelry in the 90's back when "friendly plastic" was popular. I enjoyed making new things, but then i lost interest when it became an essembly line when i was making these items.. I still see people wearing my items around town and it does make me smile.

OK.. i guess then im alright if i go and make myself buy another plant.. this will help my stress? yes? OK.. Thank you for the quick response.. "I heard you all"

I guess i better time the delivery.. make it when DH is at work!! :-)

Thank you all for the comments of my loss of my little companion. I still think of him when i leave the house or think about feeding him.. i guess it will take some time, but i will say that i think of him all of the time..

Thank you for letting us express our loss here with friends.. it is a nice place to visit!!

Goodnight Everyone!!

Laura

I'm actually quite happy to have my very own OT section - so why not fill it up?

:) First, my evidently bodacious girl doesn't embarrass easily because she's made of paint and canvas. And I don't embarrass easily because I've had plenty of practice being the center of attention and chuckles.

Mikey, my dear - you painted? - show us something. :)

Laura, It does get easier. We can't just live off of memories though. Keeping yourself busy right now is important - and, I don't know if you've as many plants as Mike, Purple, and Toni - but I'm hesitant to advise you to keep shopping if you have. I'd hate to see you asking hubby to give up the bedroom and sleep on the floor (airmatress) because I said it was ok to work on your hobby.

What's cool for Mike and cat wouldn't be such a happy position for hubby, kids, parents, or roommies. :D

I think it looks like something you'd see in a very modernistic gallery, Rosey! Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder... and what is art to one person is something else to another. Look at some of the more famous artists and their works... which now sell for huge money... Pablo Picasso, Andy Warhol, Salvador Dali, Frida Kahlo, Diego Rivera... just as examples. Not everyone likes that style... but to some, it's worthy of a huge price tag and a place of honor.

Rosey, I have boxes of craft supplies and half finished projects... I think it must be that way for most creative people! I keep thinking if I could only get organized... I might be able to finish a project now and then!

I do love writing, Mike... I have a book outline waiting on my husband to help me fill in. He's the one with all the technical information. One of these days, we might actually get it finished and self-published. Who knows?!

jodik,

yes, I have so many craft supplies, and yet - every time I visit Michaels or ACMoore, I buy more. I just can't help myself. When I moved my bed from the back of the house, to the front - I opened up a whole wall where my bed used to be - which has become crafting space in the old room. For now, it's mostly holding bins with the painting supplies, but I would like to set a draft-table in there, or maybe just a small table with a decent light on top - so that I can make it truly into a crafting room for beading, drawing, ... maybe even sewing if I get inspired enough to turn that into my next hobby (and buy a sewing machine)...
and I need to buy a few more bins to hold the yarns that are currently residing in my storage room in multiple 'large' plastic bags. After all, you never know when I might be inspired to crochet or knit again.

Yes, I'm always on the lookout for what will come next.

Jodik, at least writing doesn't take up much room. All your notes in a few files, or notebooks, and a lap-top. Start writing it, already. :) Your hubby shouldn't be a reason to procrastinate on a great joy. Write, and keep writing. Bring to life that great masterpiece. We know you have it in you. :)

Rosey, my life has been long, complicated, and I've lost track of how many times I've moved, and some of the things I've done and learned along the way... I've had wealth, and I've lived in poverty... I helped raise 3 stepchildren, which I consider to be my own, with my 2nd husband... we now have 3 fabulous grandchildren... and though we've had a wonderful time together, we've had the worst of luck. We've been in two serious accidents, not counting the industrial accident that my husband had which took away his main livelihood. He's a college educated industrial engineer, by trade... but lost physical ability when he was hit by a huge factory truck bay door on the neck and back. It took him about a year to walk again. And then, I was diagnosed with lupus, and have permanent injuries from an auto accident. Oh, and did I mention, we lost everything in a house fire, somewhere in there?

It's the short version... but along the way, my husband managed to breed and raise a specific type of American Bulldog, and is considered to be one of the most known names in the breed. Without his input, I can't write the book. He's the one with the oldest memories of how it all began, from a breed that no one knew, and had no genetic definition or registry worthy stud books... to a breed that is already slipping into genetic ruin at the hands of backyard breeders and mills out for a buck.

When he's ready to begin talking, I'm ready to begin writing. Until then, I'm stuck with an outline. I do have some other ideas floating about... and I'm slowly working on them. Some days I feel creative, and others... I can barely function. I can't complain, though... it's been an interesting an exciting life with a lot of varying scenery, and I've met some cool people and made a close group of the best friends along the way.

Knitting and crocheting is something I never learned, though believe it or not, my husband does all that. He cooks, sews, quilts, knits, and does a lot more. His grandmother taught him as a child. We live on a very small income right now, so I can't still keep collecting craft supplies, but I have enough to keep busy in the boxes I have collected so far.

At the moment, we help caretake a farmette/estate owned by a good friend who is older and unable to manage alone. But our hope is to move north to be near family again. If I can get the husband to begin spilling this book, we could get there... possibly. It would depend upon the readership, of course.

I say keep painting, Rosey! You never know what you might come up with! Have you thought of decoupage for those gift boxes? That might be a quicker option?

Jodik, you are a beautiful person because you haven't let the bad things keep you down. I really love that you have an optimistic outlook on life and I'm sure you can accomplish anything that you set your mind to because of this.

I haven't even thought of decoupage - although I should at some point learn it - for now I still hope that I can create enough paintings to make my Xmas 'wish' work. But, come the week before Xmas - if I still haven't gotten the 'main' 4 done - I will go buy the decoupage glue and take the easy way out.

Thanks, Rosey... I think I've been most impressed by one thing my Mother always said... "tomorrow is always a new day"... meaning that each day is a new beginning, and we can do whatever we choose with it. That, and many things I remember my parents saying have gotten me through some very rough times.

So I'm not the sprite, physically active person I used to be... there's still a lot I can offer. I think it also helps to have solid priorities in life, a close family, and excellent friends... all of which I've been very fortunate to have. My husband is my rock, and I don't know what I'd do without him. He's so awesome, understanding and generous and supportive. I couldn't ask for more.

I think, actually, that you can get spray to make your decoupage go even faster! I used to use a product called "Modge Podge", if you remember that one, a liquid type of thick glue stuff. That works well, also! Hobby Lobby or Michael's should carry a variety of items.

I wish you well in your quest to finish those boxes... I know you can do it! There's still time!

And, thanks for the compliments, Rosey... my best to you and yours through this Season!

I keep buying painting supplies, and picked up a few xmas presents this weekend, but am stumped what to get for my 10 year old god son. Girls are always so easy to shop for in comparison.

I need to figure out a design and start painting those boxes - everything became a stand-still this weekend. My uncle's funeral finally occured, on Saturday, and I spent the whole weekend with family. I stayed with my Aunt Mary and she beat me 4 times at scrabble. I'm so darn competitive and yet I just didn't have any luck ... growl. Next time, I'll do better. :D

I couldn't begin to guess what a 10 year old boy would want... I rely on my daughters to let me know what the kids want! We usually shop together once we're all in one place for Christmas, just to ensure there are no duplicate gifts to return, and that all the kids get what's on their lists. It's just easier for everyone that way.

Sorry to hear about your uncle, Rosey...

Thanks Jodik, at least now that he's buried, we can heal. I am looking forward to getting this xmas season over. To much celebrating and not enough reason to feel inspired to do it.

If worse comes to worse - :) I'll buy him a plant. :)

See - really trying not to stress this year.

For us, Christmas is for the kids... so that's what we concentrate on... that, and just having the family together to visit for a few days. We do stress the season, but only in having everything coordinated so we can take a few days off and go north to visit family, and have enough money to spend on the grandkids. Nothing else matters. If it weren't for the little ones, we wouldn't even celebrate... we're not much on big celebrations.

Gift cards always work, too... then, you don't have to stress anything!