Sooey- I think some of the epidemiology stuff like your DH does is soooo interesting! (I was excited when I could spell that word!!!!). Hostapasta- I might be sending an application to you in a few years. Stick around in the HR department until summer of 2011, please. LOL I got my MPH from Armstrong Atlantic State Univ. in Savannah, GA. There are also programs at UGA (Athens), GSU (Atlanta), and Emory (Atlanta). I think Mercer in Macon may also have a program. I was accepted at Emory but didn't want to go into debt just to have a piece of paper with their name on it. I went to Armstrong for free because I worked at GSU at the time.

What did your husband say about the woman who answered his phone? And what reason could she possibly have had for answering his phone? Where was he when she answered it? What do you mean you were "outdone"? 5 years - it's been 5 years. What was the reason that you moved to separate rooms? You seem to still think that there's a possibility (you said he says you're going to have sex and then it doesn't happen). If he's been saying that for 5 years, I'd suggest facing the fact that it's not going to happen. Frankly, I'd want to get to the bottom of what's going on with this other woman. However, even if there's nothing going on, he's made it clear that there's no way you and he are going to have a physical relationship. But you also say that he doesn't spend time with you, take you out, or even watch TV with you. And you call this a marriage? It might not come as a surprise that I'm going to suggests counseling - your marriage issues seem to go well beyond the bedroom. I think the no sex issue is a result of the rest of your marriage gone bad for some reason. See if he's willing to explore it. I'm guessing not. So you will have to decide if you want to live the rest of your life living with someone, as a platonic roommate, who won't even watch TV with you.

Okay, speaking from personal experience, usually when a guy starts looking at porn it's because they aren't getting certain things they might sexually be interested in or there is a more deep seated issue in the relationship. People also usually only hide things for one of three reasons. 1) They are trying to protect someone they care about but we can pretty safely rule this out since he knows that you know. 2) They are afraid of negative consequences and since you have already likened porn to cheating {which is a bit mental if you ask me} he is likely afraid that admitting he has a fairly natural urge will cause him to lose you. 3) There is some shame in their actions and honestly, I hate to say it because people are going to yell that I'm blaming tyhe victem when I'm not, it's most likely you that's causing him to feel that shame. Your view on porn makes it taboo which is always both tantalizing and shameful. I have to ask this and no you don't have to answer, just think about my questions. 1) Have you ever considered using porn to spice up your love life with him? Consider putting on a porno while you and he are laying in bed together and just see if you can't get him to stand at attention for you. Use the thing you don't necessarily like to get the "thing" you really want. 2) Ever tried looking at what he searches and maybe, if your comfortable with it, incorporate one or two of those things into your love life? If it's something he enjoys then why not enjoy it with him? You both get what you want at that point which shows compromise and compromise is one of the basic building blocks to any relationship. 3) Consider this, if you two do the same thing every time you two get together then isn't it possible he's just a little bored? Not bored of you but bored of the same position you two make love in or even just bored of thesurroundings. Get a babysitter for the night and have a romantic evening to yourselves but don't go home. Rent a hotel room and have fun there. It would help to break him out of the rut that he may feel his life has gotten into. Do not take this as a strike against you, sometimes guys just get tired of the same thing over and over again. Mind you, I stress that you remember these are only suggestions to help you make your marraige stronger and help you grow as a couple. Feel free to ignore my advice as you please but remember that I've been in a position I think might be similar to the one he is in and I'm simply sharing with you what I myself have dealt with personally.

I know what you mean about being a slug, altho I walked the dogs and went to the AC gym today. But my daughter ran 12 miles today in training for the NYC marathon and my son rode 100 miles on his bike thru the woods here in PA in a race. He said there was lightning half way thru the race. It was in the mid 90's but is only 70 now, thank heavens.