Lets get our terminology right :-) There are bulbous iris, tuberous or rhizomatous iris and just fleshy rooted iris. Bulbous iris, like Iris reticulata, danfordae, Dutch or Spanish iris are like any other fall planted true bulbs -- these should show no signs of green growth when planted in fall and be firm and dry. Tuberous/rhizomatous iris are the various common bearded iris. These are not considered "true" bulbs, can be planted over a very long season and usually always have some sort of 'green' showing.....in fact, lack of green is generally an indication of a less than healthy plant. In mild climates they are evergreen. They are sold both in spring or fall and can be planted at either time. And fleshy rooted iris include Siberians and various species iris......these have root systems similar to ornamental grasses or day lilies - dense, fibrous and fleshy. These are almost always sold with foliage attached, typically as started plants but sometimes bare root. The point is, there are several different kinds of irises, some which are not bulbs at all, so it is misleading to make generalities about whether or not any 'green' should be showing :-))

What a touching and loving thing for you to do; your husband is a very lucky man. I too am not from your area but would think some of the smaller tea roses like Westside Rose Cream Tea would be wonderful; it blooms all the time and is bushy with lovely large blooms. There are wonderful climbers like Reve d'Or which bloom practically all the time. Cl. Pinkie is a darling rose you might consider. I hope that people from your area will chime in to help you with this wonderful project. The old roses like teas, Chinas and noisettes are beautiful and romantic, and will actually do better than many modern roses in terms of vigor and disease resistance. Chamblee's is a good on-line vendor in your part of the country. Have a look at their site and find some things you like and then you can always come back to the forum to ask advice about these. This is a wonderful project you're undertaking and we'd love to help you make it something beautiful, something your wonderful mother-in-law would have appreciated, and a peaceful spot for your husband to spend time being with her. Ingrid

Hello friends, I'm chiming in just now after a slight absence and cannot resist tossing in my two cents worth on this topic, as I've had quite a similar experience. Some time ago my mother-in-law gave herself a wonderful birthday present, in that she bought all new everything for the boudoir, down to and including new carpeting, and I said, "Way to go, Rosemary, you and Johnnie deserve this treat!" She had a couple of old sheets that she earmarked for the church's charity drive but I wheedled them away for use in my own bedroom. One set, which I believe was Wamsutta, was like the silky ones your mother-in-law has, and the they were designed by Yves St. Lawrence, in awesome pinks and purples. The colors nothwithstanding, those elderly, well-worn and washed, and much beloved sheets were pure perfection to my husband and me. The lovely smoothness of that old bedding transported us into the sleep of the angels. I promise, we NEVER noticed the pink and purple designs, and we slept on them for another 20 years until they could no longer manage to hold together in one piece. Oh! Holy cow, I just came out of my reverie and realized you had asked a question! Mea culpa! My bad! Here's my suggestion for silky sheets, or at least for as close we can come these days: Buy 100% Egyptian Cotton in a reasonably good thread count, like 300, 400, 500. I'm now a retired senior with rather thin, frail skin, which I feel warrants the smoothest, most silky bedding I can afford. And I buy my Egyptian cotton sheet sets from Penney's, when they go on sale twice a year. And they last forever, well, I'm still using them 8 years later! I have 3 sets and just rotate. Give them a whirl; they're quite reasonable on sale, and enjoy! Kaye

I agree with collen, moving would be my first option. If that's not possible, unfortunately there isn't a lot you can do. Even if your DH were to say something now, it's gone on so long there would be mutiny. They are not going to change how they've done things for so long, just because you want it... believe me, I've beaten my head against that wall. I would say to focus on your child and leave DH to deal with his kids and mother. This is THEIR problem, not yours. What you DO have control over... YOU choose what you want to do for his kids... and his mother. If DH is gone & MIL has something to do, be busy. Do not be her backup babysitter. You have the right to say no, you're busy. If they call to see what's for dinner, don't tell them. Say, "I haven't decided yet. Are you going to eat here or not?" and do not play the game. It's a blessing if grandma feeds them... saves on your food bill & less work for you, cooking & clean up. You aren't going to change them but you can learn to assert yourself to take some control over YOUR life. They are treating you like a doormat & the biggest problem I see here is that your husband is allowing it. The least he can do is back you up when you decide to back off and leave it to grandma. If he can't cut the apron strings... well, he needs to decide if he is your husband or their mama's boy? He can't be both. It's one thing to have a relationship with the parents, but when you are married & have a family of your own, that comes first. And do not allow her to come into your house to "check" anything. Lock your doors if you have to. And I'm sorry that they ignore your son but to be honest, why would you want your son to have much to do with them? They seem a little overbearing & nuts... as for gifts, it's hard but not much different than when the other bio parent buys something for them. A good life lesson of life is not fair and not everything needs to be equal. Your son is probably at an advantage because he doesn't have such crazy people as part of his family.