Lavendar grows in semi-arrid climate in what we would call very poor soil. Its not happy in humid conditions, although some of them do better than others - hot and dry is what they need. I'm oh-so familiar with the wilting stem by stem thing with lavendar. By experimentation I usually find a place where lavendar is happy, but that's usually not with the roses.

As to Iceberg, are the petals pink in color or is it pink blotches, spots?

I get pink splotches on my iceberg and other white roses. It usually happens when the weather cools off a bit. I wouldn't worry about it.

My Iceberg tree rose I had would do that too. I have lavender in the same beds as my roses and they do fine- I think what helps them is I planted them right next to the concrete pathway pavers and right at the edge of a raised bed. I've heard some people make a small mound of dirt to plant lavender on to help. Some types of lavenders do better in certain areas than others, so you might experiment a bit. Good luck!

I had 2 large lavenders planted in with an Iceberg, they did fine until like you said one of them started wilting and then dieing. Found out that my dad had turned one of the lawn sprinklers so it wouldn't hit his car on the drive and pointed it at the flower bed. I knew it was getting too much water somehow when previously it was doing fine and was disconnecting sprinklers in the flower bed. When we cooled off 20 degrees and took off a sprinkler cycle and tested the sprinklers we discovered that.

So you're scaring off the deer with the water scarecrow but the lavender is probably getting too much water now. You say the bed is too wet. Iceberg with pale pink flowers is probably in response to the cooler weather also.

I know that you can grow them together, just the water needs are different and you need to adjust for that.
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Thanks for all the info and ideas. What I still don't understand is how the lavender did SO well, grew so fast, then started to die. No great change in water, unless it's a decrease, since we turned our sprinkler off. Yes, the scarecrow goes in the general direction, but I don't think it really contributes a large amount, just a startles worth.
The roses are pink streaks, like a "Batik" iris if only pink not purple, if you're familiar with those. I don't see the spots pictured in the disease examples (bothythis? something like that).
I think we may bury a drain pipe in the upper part of our yard, above the retaining wall, before we continue planting. That will cut off some of the neighbors water. We're also sealing the cracks in the gutterway along the road that allow water to seep in.
Anyway, again thanks. And any ideas about the great growth followed by sudden death?

If the lavender isn't happy for you (EYE can't grow many lavenders here) you might look into the blue Salvias (sages). Those generally speaking LOVE California locations. Hummingbirds love them, too.

Jeri