I am so sad...

14 years ago

I just received the news that my uncle has died of pneumonia at the age of 92. He is my mother's last brother, and that leaves one of her generation alive. The reason I am so sad is that he has formed much of my love of the outdoors and digging in the dirt. I did so many things with him as a youngster and loved visiting his garden. He has never been sick - just stopped eating and drinking last Thursday, was admitted to hospital on Saturday and died today. He was an extraordinary gardener, could grow anything, beautiful roses, grafted plants the old way, grew prized birds, raised goats and chickens, could build anything for the garden. He was actively gardening until his death. I last visited him in 2006 and he gave me several sets of seeds, which I grew and shared with many of my gardening friends, so he will always be in my garden. Although I did not expect him to survive pneumonia at his age, I am still in a state of disbelief and I am so sad. He had a good long life and was well looked after by a very devoted daughter. He was very close to one particular grand-daughter just 9 years old, she must be so sad. Just wanted to share this news with you. Thanks for listening.

Northerner.

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Comments (14)

shoregrowin
Very sorry to hear of your loss Northerner... I collected seeds from my sister's garden after she passed and also winter sowed Dusty Miller for her name. I think of her every time I see them. I hope your tribute to your Uncle will keep him close to you. I will have some of your wanted seeds later in the season. Give me a shout and I'll send them your way. Take good care of yourself,

Shore
shoregrowin
Very sorry to hear of your loss Northerner... I collected seeds from my sister's garden after she passed and also winter sowed Dusty Miller for her name. I think of her every time I see them. I hope your tribute to your Uncle will keep him close to you. I will have some of your wanted seeds later in the season. Give me a shout and I'll send them your way. Take good care of yourself,

Shore
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Lisa, I am sorry to read about the loss of your dog. I just wanted to share my own experience with a similar situation...maybe it will help you feel better about your choice. I took my 13-year old cat to the vet because of sudden weight loss and markedly poor coat. X-rays revealed an intestinal mass and I was given three options. I could put him down right away, put him through more testing that would stress him physically and emotionally, or send him for exploratory surgery. In the end, I chose the surgery. I thought "I know cats that have lived to 18 or 20" and to be honest, I was young, he was my first pet, and I was not ready to let go and have him euthanized. The vet did warn me that it could be difficult for him to recover, but she said she would make the smallest incision possible. I was at work on his surgery day when she called to tell me it was a huge mass involving his stomach and intestine and that due just to the size of the tumor, he would never have good quality of life again. She recommended euthanasia, which I of course realized was the best thing for him. I was unable to leave work so she euthanized him while he was still under for surgery. To this day I am devastated when I think I could have let him go without the trauma of that last overnight at the vet, the surgery, and especially not being able to say goodbye. As others have said, it is so very difficult when we have to make these kinds of decisions, and it's worse when you feel like you don't have time to think and weigh your options. But I believe that you chose well and did the most loving and caring thing left to do for your dear dog. I hope that time brings you peace with your decision.
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shoregrowin
Very sorry to hear of your loss Northerner... I collected seeds from my sister's garden after she passed and also winter sowed Dusty Miller for her name. I think of her every time I see them. I hope your tribute to your Uncle will keep him close to you. I will have some of your wanted seeds later in the season. Give me a shout and I'll send them your way. Take good care of yourself,

Shore
shoregrowin
Very sorry to hear of your loss Northerner... I collected seeds from my sister's garden after she passed and also winter sowed Dusty Miller for her name. I think of her every time I see them. I hope your tribute to your Uncle will keep him close to you. I will have some of your wanted seeds later in the season. Give me a shout and I'll send them your way. Take good care of yourself,

Shore
brandymulvaine
14 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss, Northerner!
God bless.
-B
mnwsgal
14 years ago
How wonderful that you were able to learn from and share his love of gardening. Condolences to you and his family.
Bobbie
greylady_gardener
14 years ago
I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
Sounds like you have lots of good memories and of course the wonderful gift of gardening and the love of the outdoors, that he gave you. Sincere condolences to you and your family.
gg/Lois
morz8 - Washington Coast
14 years ago
Northener, he sounds like someone I would have loved knowing. I'm so sorry for your loss.

We lost a beloved neighbor at his same age not quite three years ago...healthy, vibrant and interesting. An unexpected fall/surgery took him from us too soon....I'm still surprised at how often and how much I miss him.

How wonderful you have things your uncle grew to keep in your garden, I hope they bring you pleasure many years to come.
tiffy_z5_6_can
14 years ago
R,

I am really sorry to hear of your family's loss of such a treasured and loved one. My thoughts are with you in the days ahead.

Nicole.
nancy_drew
14 years ago
I'm sorry for your loss. Nothing can quite prepare you for such a loss.

How wonderful he left you some seeds! A growing legacy... right outside your door!

Morz8, we lost my grandfather much the same way as your neighbor. He was at a friend's home and fell backward down a few stairs, we lost him in surgery. God, I am just so grateful to have had him for as long as I did! He was my greatest blessing growing up. Sometimes, I think he still is.
bakemom_gw
14 years ago
Sounds like you might want to consider sowing a garden of grief and celebration. Let us know what we can do. It really helps some of us. Don't be afraid to ask.
northerner_on
Original Author
14 years ago
Thank you so much to everyone. Your kind words of sympathy are a source of great comfort to me. I spent the last two days feeling sorry for myself, just wandering around the garden not feeling like planting out the seedlings grown from his seeds. But Bakemon, you have given me a very good idea about the memory garden and I will start on that. Yesterday we had an area next to the shed cleaned up - old wood and left over lumber carted away, so I have a small space that I will devote to him. I have to look at the bright side - he did not suffer, had a good long life, and he has left me so much. He will be forever with me in my garden. You ladies are wonderful in so many ways - so glad I found you.
Northerner.
Deb Chickenmom
14 years ago
Wish there was something to say that could make your loss easier. Your uncle sounds like he was a great inspiration and special influence on your life. You will think of him often as you garden and reflect that he would want you to be happy and healthy. Take care, Debby
lblack61
14 years ago
Northerner,
I'm so sorry to hear that you lost someone so important to your life. It has to be difficult to be in the garden, considering how integral he was to your love of gardening. That's so sad.
I always wonder how it feels, also, to be the last one of a generation in a family to be alive. Your uncle seems to echo a thought I have on that: when you are the part of a dwindling generation, the only thing left is to look to the youngest generation and it actually becomes a joy to do so, to share what you know and see the promise and hope in the eyes of the future.
Since my parents died, I look at my nieces and nephews and DH's grandchildren (who I do consider mine as well), in a whole new way. My parents live in me by what they instilled in me. My nieces, nephews, and grandchildren know me and love me and have me by what I share with them. They are things we never forget.
So grieve, in any way and for as long as you feel it. Joy returns when it does. Grieving comes and goes (and comes and goes). It's not something you can designate an end to...you just live, with all the beauty and sadness.

Linda
(who is still working through grief, herself)

I am so sad...

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shoregrowin

shoregrowin

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