No sand in the soil...topsoil and mulch in that area. So it would stick...it maybe actually 3yrs. Not sure actually...left one because ones always ask for seedlings. And I pull typically pull them out. This year...I plan on deadheading before seeds are sewn. Lol Ken...you have a real love for Rose of Sharon. Thanks for your knowledge much appreciated. ~Darlene

auntie ellen, Of course you are concerned about your family. But the question you posed is are you behaving irrationally? I am not picking on you, but giving an answer to your question. I hope this is helpful to you. To answer your question, I would say that you are. I say this because it seems to me that you are trying to control something that you truly cannot control. And that you feel it is your mandate to try and control something that you cannot control. Odds are low, you are aware of symptoms, have available medical care (ie you are not in a third world country or in the secluded outback). Taking reasonable precautions, like wearing repellent, makes sense. Just as you wouldn't stand under a tree in a lightening storm. But disengaging from life is out of proportion to the risk, and sends the message to your children that life is too scary to boldly lived. How you respond to this is up to you. If you can't just let it go ,then you may need to seek out some help.

Your post caught my eye because we say that continually about my husband's ex -- "you can't rationalize with an irrational person." It is important that you do realize that and stop expecting a "normal" dialogue with her! We got to the point where we communicate only what and when we have to. Because I'm very involved (my SS lives full time with us because his mother moved 2 hours away) and very organized, I tend to do a lot of the communicating with her (via email). I never let her get away with lies and I do call her on things that she says or does that is ridiculous. Over the years, this has worked out and she is much less looking to come after us with her stupid (or made up) stuff. If you ignore the crazy stuff, it should eventually stop (she won't get the satisfaction of "engaging" you). First lesson to you may be -- why did you take the time to do something that would benefit her? If she didn't complain, why not just leave it (again, in normal parenting, this is not nice, but when dealing with someone who just wants to fight.....). You need to get to the point where you deal with her ONLY when you have to and nothing more. I almost laughed about her constantly bringing up the funeral because when I was having a heated discussion with my SS's BM about her lying to cover up for my SD who had been staying with us (and lying and stealing from us), out of nowhere she threw in "you made me buy pictures of the kids that I didn't even want!" Unfortunately, I lost it and said "Oh my God, you are crazy"! yeah, it has been ugly around here...... That said, please also understand that you must be sure to have a paper trail of dealings with her on big issues. My husband's daughter is now estranged and they are likely taking us to court for additional college money. I am hoping that our paper trail will show how much he tried along the way, and our attorney says that it is good that we have it. Ok, I've gone on and on here....bottom line? Do what's best for the child, keep communication to a minimum (and don't acknowlege the wacky stuff), and document things along the way...... Good luck. I feel your pain, believe me!

Just what I need to play with my trees. One your way and one Martins way with confined virgin roots Which will grow more caudex. Great examples thanks