An endless supply of good, free compost and mulch is a constant fantasy of mine, as well. Sometimes, I throw in a maintenance guy to spread it around. We took down one large tree and one smallish tree and had the guys leave the chips. It is a lot of chips! But, sooner than I want they will decompose and it will be time to do it all again. Like a lot of communities we can go to our municipal waste company site and get free compost and mulch that they make out of the yard trimmings that are picked up every other week. But, that is a lot of loading and hauling, for me at least. I also worry about what my neighbors put in their yard waste bins as far as debris with pesticide and/or herbicide residue. I did just find out from the tree company that I use that they will bring "good" chips to your home for free which is wonderful.

As for the missing pruners, have you used a holster? Low tech and not foolproof but useful.

I think no matter what kind of garden one has, there will always be garden fantasies :-)

Anne

Ho, can I empathise with the tool-seeker idea; incalculable hours are spent wandering around the plot searching for an onion hoe, a daisy grubber. Secateurs are red but most of my handtools are ancient, brownly woody and dull carbon steel - invisible from 5 paces away.

My fantasy for today involves dark thoughts regarding the field of oat-grass and couch belonging to my slacker neighbour - who has been down to the plot 3 or 4 times this year, stays for half-an-hour, makes a completely feeble attempt at turning over half a metre of soil, sighs and goes home. He obviously hates being there (and it isn't going to get any more pleasant because the growing season is just ramping up). The last couple of times he has been here - all he did was strim a 2 x 4foot patch of weeds in front of his shed door!!

It is tricky, because I am really not into imposing rules (especially since I have actually broken nearly all of the official council rules myself) but, otoh, we do have a responsibility to be good neighbours. So yeah, my fantasy involves everyone raising their game at least a bit, removing virused and diseased plants, attempting at least some weeding and being honest enough to recognise that it is all a bit more work than expected and either give up the plot or share it with someone else.

I want a shade tree that only shades me and what I want to shade. And "prune here" markings

I want a yard man who can see and recognize the plants that are weeds and need to be removed. I've shown him, but I'm not there to keep showing him until it sticks with him. And he'll never see them until he slows down enough to focus on leaf and plant shape. Otherwise he's great.

Of course, my ultimate fantasy would be to have a young, healthy body again so I could have the joy of doing it all myself. Lou

hehe on that yard guy Lou

My work gardener has failed to notice that the hedges of branches that are reaching the second story coming out of the top of them. If I ask him to trim, bet my hedge ends up 6" tall

Hmm, fantasies, that means anything and everything doesn't it? I'd like a cooler summer, lots of rain, a garden with no disease and enough energy to garden the way I'd like to. I don't want to seem greedy so I won't add anything more, although I notice everyone else has been much more modest and realistic in their wishes. Come on guys.......

Ingrid

I'm with Ingrid, I want it all. Perfect weather, enough rain and only at night, disease free roses and other plants, lots of beautiful, perfect blooms and a big, strong, young guy to do all the hard labor. Oh, and cute wouldn't hurt either, lol!

Hmmm. The tree trimming crew is out in my neck of the woods ALL the time. Several times a week. I have daydreams of running out and asking them to empty the chipper truck in my back yard. More than once... I'll make cookies if that would help it happen! Failing that, the aforementioned endless supply of compost would be very nice, TYVM!

Min, if you ask they just might be happy to drop you off a load...or few

My fantasy at this point is a quick cure for RRD----I'm sick about losing my roses and fear it will spread---
then I want a full crew of healhy young dudes to follow me around the garden and do all the work that I can no longer do-----
then I can walk around with a fancy basket over my arm ---a pretty hat and gather my roses --just like "Lady Astor"or at my age the "Dowager" from Downton Abbey.

LOL I can dream---can't I ??

Florence

One helpful tool-locator aid for me has been to paint the handles some obnoxious day-glow color that stands out. Kinda icky but it has really helped & the guys also don't borrow my hot pink hammer & clippers anymore.

Oh, & my fantasy? right now a big ol' mountain 'o mulch right next to the inexhaustable mountain 'o compost. And more backyard spigots & electric outlets, etc.

This post was edited by bluegirl on Mon, May 20, 13 at 23:24

I want the plants, that I want to live, to live (and glow with health) and the plants, that I want to die, to die. And have it all reversible if I change my mind. I want it to rain as much as the garden wants...at night. And be warmly sunny but breezily cool during the day. I want terraces, a small vegetable/ herb garden, a Japanese pond, a rose garden (I'm working on that one), an orangery for the citrus, and other miscellaneous potted plants and all the design plans that dance in my head to become realized. And I would like to be able to grow camellias here, outside, in the ground. Been wanting that last one since the '70s. And like Lou I want the body (and time) to do all the gardening that I want to do.

Melissa, I have tied a fat piece of red nylon yarn through a hole in the handle of my dandelion digger which was dirt colored and always getting lost. Once it was lost in the dirt for 2 years. It still keeps getting lost but briefly.

Cath

My wishes are that of Ingrid and Seil. While this cool spring we are having has made my roses bloom slightly later my plants are looking so healthy. My yard in general looks better than normal this time of year as I don't mind being out there puttering around, planting, weeding, trimming, etc., as the weather has been so comfortable. So my wish is for a continued mild summer but if I can ask for one more it would be for someone to finsih digging my large holes for my new roses in this hard clay soil!

All the water I want and an excellent carefree automatic watering system.
The death of all rose diseases.
A young strong healthy body.
Full bloom that lasts for months.

A magic wand would be my tool. I could walk around the garden and wave my wand and say "bloom!" and Variegata di Bologna would suddenly grow a bud and it would burst open. With a series of taps with the wand I could obliterate the rose slugs that will not leave Perle d'Or alone (every five minutes brings more, she is sadly naked and it's terrible). Waving the wand with a big swoosh around my head, I could declare, "Blackspot, out!" and all my girls would be green and leafy, even in the cloying air of July. A flick of my wrist would shrivel the crabgrass and its exhausting, strangling roots. Holding my wand steady, I'd collect the Japanese beetles in a swarm and then direct them toward the lovely long hair of an evil person I know. Then I'd be able to sashay around the garden in a pretty dress; my fingernails would be clean; there'd be far fewer calluses. And I'd have a fairy tale garden.

...

And then maybe I'd be sad and regret my wish for the rest of my days or lose interest in my garden because it would too easy. Maybe I'd miss the hard work and the heart-breaking challenges. And maybe I'd feel guilty because I'm not really one for taking revenge (the beetles, the hair) only fantasizing about it.

Maybe.

I just want to be able to breathe ... my hayfever is so bad that my nose is like a dripping faucet. The dogwood tree that was SO CUTE in the nursery 12 years ago becomes a pollen-spreading-machine with is blooms.

Lesson learned: Always research a tree carefully before buying it. My wish: chop it down ASAP, and replace it with an herb garden for beneficial insects.

After reading y'all's posts, I realize I've been thinking too small. I want a magic wand, too. And a pond, eternal youth, all the rain I want, when I want it, a pony, perfect weather a yard full of mature roses, perfect fluffy soil 3' deep.....

Actually, I wanted everybody's small dreams, the ones that are realizable, or almost. Because everybody's big dreams are pretty much the same, aren't they? Great soil, lots of water at the right times, perfect weather, a skilled strong willing labor force, and so on. Personally I don't want a magic wand, that would take the fun out of figuring out how to get plants to grow. I certainly wouldn't mind several dump truck loads of chipped good trees scattered about the place (alder is excellent)--it won't happen--not to mention ten tons of hay for fall planting and maintenance. I fear that hay is going to be in short supply this year as nobody has been able to cut the grass. And I certainly would like to know that there will always be someone to mow the grass and do various heavy jobs, as DH is getting on in years and will not not be able to run after the motor scythe forever.
Another dream: to get an apprentice, someone whom I could teach about plants and who in return would help me with maintenance. I like to teach and could use the help. And I would love to have knowledgeable appreciative visitors come to see the garden: they are hugely rare.
It's fun hearing everybody's fantasies!
Melissa
P.S. Strawberry, you have my sympathies about the hay fever; I had it for years and it was MISERABLE. Have you considered taking an antihistamine? I got one prescribed and used it regularly and found it made all the difference. For some reason the last two years I haven't suffered much from pollen allergies and haven't taken medication, but for eight or nine years the antihistamine was a lifesaver, and I'll return to it if I get bad hay fever again.

This post was edited by melissa_thefarm on Wed, May 22, 13 at 0:52

So many people are fantasizing about mulch and compost that I thought I'd just throw this out there, just in case this information was new or useful to someone in the U.S. When I lived in town and had garbage pickup I had no idea what a great resource the landfill was. Once we had to haul our own garbage I discovered that the dump offered a pickup-load of compost for $30, of mulch for $20, of smooth ground glass for drives and pathways for $45. Delivery was available for a fee for those without trucks. For someone starting a new garden on a larger piece of land this was a gigantic blessing. I will freely admit that that there are drawbacks: you don't know exactly what all goes into the mulch and compost, thus you may end up with poison ivy, weed seeds, etc. But on the other hand it is recycled, there aren't the plastic bags, and etc. again.
I live in an area where we are charged two or three times for everything, but I know in other areas there are landfills that offer mulch or compost for free. Anyway probably old news for most you but maybe it will be useful for someone.

And that ground glass is pretty neat for a more eclectic or contemporary look. I passed on it myself though. Our dump no longer offers the glass, they sold their grinder to a landfill around Wilmington. No clue how many other landfills have this sort of machine.

I want a new type of deer who only eats weeds..roots and all. Oh and he must have a voracious appetite. Like that.
Loosing the weed battle...
Jeannie