Fifteen years ago I did most of the work. As time goes on, I am able to do less. With chemotherapy comes the instruction about staying out of the sunlight, which means, for me, I can water, which for about an acre is quite a bit but I do that early on. We have a gardener guy who helps from time to time and he and I did most of the work years ago. My DH and he share it now. Subsequent to his heart attacks and strokes, he found this good exercise, but as I am nearing Social Security and still work full time, my bone mineral density scans are not what they used to be after 18 years of on-and-off prednisone, mixed in with other concerns, I promoted myself from worker bee to queen bee a couple years ago. It is not nearly as much fun to watch it done and the result is never the same.

But, we all have to come to terms with aging and working, and I hope that age does not compromise my ability to be a productive worker in some fashion, just not pushing the wheelbarrow, shoveling manure and digging holes any longer. Broadcasting fertilizer is something I can do. Watering is something I love doing.

No one does it like I want it done and no one else unless you have expert gardeners as Berndoodle, and even as you stand over them watching and supervising (not even spouses) but that is the price for having what I want, but on compromised terms.

We have rabbits that meticulously remove thin growth with their razor sharp teeth.

The toughest part isn't digging holes in our yard, but removing 4 inch thick tree roots hidden just beneath the soil.

I put my first two hundred roses in by myself. Me and my shovel and TN's lovely clay soil. That was years and a divorce ago.

I have since moved to NC and set up housekeeping with a man 12 years my junior. A nice big strapping fellow who will dig holes and who will not allow me to dig holes. We are additionally blessed with a neighbor who owns a skidloader with a 24" auger. It makes glorious holes. Mostly we borrow the skidloader and auger holes.

DH will offer to spray on occasion, and he will help put down organics. We share the task of spreading compost and mulch. I weed, he hates to weed and I like it. I prune, because he's not entirely comfortable with that task, but is doing some of it now. I take care of the perenniels which he views as weeds. He sort of gets roses, actually has favorites and passions in the roses department, doesn't get oriental lillies and other stuff.

Sharing the gardening felt odd at first, but now I like it.

Triple, of course we watched. Me, my 14 yr. old daughter and her friends, every chance they got. He was a worker! Dug holes really fast.
I'm kidding about me looking. I had to converse with the boy but he was cute and his mom raised him very well.

Carla

All I can say is WOW!!! You gals( and some guys) are some tough cookies! The funny thing is that I raised two 6' 5 strapping boys, but they have there own lives now and don't live very close. I wish I would of been into roses when they were at home.
But I will not give in a be a wimp. Not after hearing all of your stories! In fact I am headed to the store right now to get 10 bags of mulch.
I can't even imagine 2 semi trucks full of mulch! WOW!

My 25 yr old son recently moved back home to finish school locally. Last year I dug most of my own holes but this year I have very happy to hand the shovel over to him. We planted 5 bareroots last week and how much easier it was when I didn't have to dig!

Do it all myself, and though I'd love a little more help from the husband sometimes, and someone to weed is tops on my "If I win the lottery" list, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I feel so accomplished when I get done digging a hole or moving something, especially if I can do it and not get nipped somewhere by a thorn.

I was raised with a dad who thought that girls did inside stuff, boys do outside stuff. Both my parents believed that girls and their clothes should stay mostly clean. So growing up, I never even got to mow the lawn or really rake leaves or anything like that, even though my brother gladly would've welcomed the help or the switch once in a while.

So now, when I get to haul around a bag of spagnum peat or shovel compost or dig up grass or make a hole, I feel so "he-man-womanly" and capable. I love that feeling. I even enjoy the soreness afterward and am coming to not mind the smell of Ben-Gay. Not to mention, it's a whole lot cheaper (and things are done just as I want them), it's great exercise and it's a good stress reliever!

I do most of the work with a little help from DH and DS. They did build me a new raised bed this year, and hauled the soil to fill it up, but I dug all the holes and planted the plants. I do all my own mulching, weeding, digging, fertilizing, spraying and watering (I have raised beds and soaker hoses). I also do all the mowing, edging and weedeating. I have no complaints. I know that my time of hard physical work is going to be ending (I'm 56) and want to do as much now as I can. I make sure I don't lift too much at a time and go at it slowly (thank you Karl for your good example). I just love the results so much, and it is like moving meditation to work outside. I will either have to scale down or hire someone to help as time goes on, but in the meantime, I love it.
Kathy

It's a 1 man show here for the most part. Sometimes Fr. Gregory or Brother Mark will pitch in for the technical irrigation stuff.

I like doing most things in the yard. I just take it slow and there is always tomorrow. I hate to exercise, so this is all I get.

Besides, DH caught me looking at the neighbors pool guy, so we won't be getting any hired help anytime soon.

When I was younger I did most everything myself with the help of my DH.

but now at 78 with one back and 2 hip surgeries my digging days are over.

I love to dig in the dirt but I must be sensible.

I guess it is now the time for me to walk around like Mrs. Vanderbilt with the big floppy hat----the basket over my arm and a pair of clippers.

so enjoy it while you are able--
Florence

I do most of the gardening myself. My husband will help me with digging holes if I ask and her takes care of the grass and patio. We have spring and fall cleanup help.

I do it all by myself. All the digging (that's my favorite part) the planting, mulching weeding, spraying, hand watering...Hey! I'm a hard workin' momma out there.

My neighbors used to give me funny looks at first, especially when I dug out the four gigantic palm trees that came in front of my living room window. For nearly two weeks that bed was an utter ruin, as I picked out landscaping rocks, Bermuda runners, Mexican Petunias and amended like crazy.

Now they stop me in the mornings and tell me how pretty the garden looks. Thank you, I always tell them. It's a labor of love.

Elaine

I do it all myself. One of the things I like about gardening is the exercise you get along with the beauty. I even refuse help carrying heavy bags of various amendments, or bricks for edging, because I need to burn the calories. And I notice the offers are happening more and more. That can't be because I look older, can it??

Bill, I had a good chuckle when you mentioned that people try to hire you. I get the same thing where I live sometimes. I'll never forget the time when we first moved in our house and someone came to the door insisting that I get the "owner". I don't think I ever convinced him that I was, indeed, the owner.

At a social get together one evening in our neighborhood, my neighbor across the street blurted out (in shock) how pretty I looked that evening. Then she said she usually only saw me when I was in old clothes and covered in dirt. I laughed my head off.

The best part of planting and arranging my garden myself is the toatl satisfaction I get from it. The downside is that if by middle age we don't pace ourselves properly, we can really do some harm to our bodies. I tend to over-do it all the time, and I've injured my left arm significantly. Instead of asking my husband to help remove 20 or so 10 gallon camellias from their pots for planting, I did it myself. Not smart, and it will take a while for my arm to heal. (It hasn't stopped me from planting more roses, but I have to be very careful).

I do think I've found someone to spread pine bark for me though. There is a nice man that mows lawns in here, and I told him about my bad arm. He said if I get it delivered, he'll spread it for me. Yeah!!!!! Last year I put down 90 yards by myself. It almost killed me.

Sandy

Ninety yards of mulch/bark. Good Heavens! I thought 11 yards which is what I get in compost is a lot. 90 yards. 90 yards. I am still thinking, 90 yards. It takes me, my husband and gardener most of the day to put out 11 yards. 90 yards, 90 yards. You are far harder working than I am. I don't even think my yard could accommodate 90 yards, 90 yards, 90 yards.

I will not let anyone else touch my garden. Look - yes. But touch - No! No! No!

(The only exception is my neighbour, who mows our lawn when we are on vacation, in exchange for use mowing their lawn when they are away.)

David and I do all the gardening together. He of course digs the holes...there are left over pine tree roots everywhere. We had over 100 pine trees cut down a couple years ago. We have 3 acres but really only about an acre planted....so I have 2 acres to go!!! LOL

Patricia...you always put a smile on my face!

And Sandy...I'd love to see your roses.

I can only imagine what everyone elses looks like...pure heaven I am sure!!!

Deb

Deb, you'll have to visit. Right now though, because I've been moving and ripping and tearing, as well as planting new things, my roses are all for the most part little (and I mean little) babies. I expect with this nice weather they'll take right off. My camellias, (the ones that ripped my arm muscles up) are growing like gangbusters. The grafted roses, because most of those were planted in the fall, are taking off nicely too.

Personally, I LOVE to get ideas from other people. It's especially helpful to see other gardens.

Sandy

Florida folks in the area should fee free to pop by on a weekend. I'd love to exchange garden tours with other rosarians!

Elaine

no shame here-if i could afford it i'd have an army of hired help. as it is it's me and 3 acres of clay with the occasional hand out from DH who has his own projects. on special occasions our neighbor visits with his tractor-glorious-i have tractor envy-diamonds are overrated.

90 yards of bark/mulch. Ummm ummm ummm. I am in so much envy except for the work.

Sandy, we are two peas in a pod!

At the moment I'm dressing in ratty old clothes, covered in dirt, wearing shoes that NO ONE should be seen in...my wife says even the homeless dress better...but I've got 4 out of 5 post-holes dug so far this morning for a new rose-bed with split-cedar posts and heavy chain festoons to support more climbers, and room for some shrubs.

And I clean up well. But that's for later, now it's time to get back to digging.

Bill (who realizes he needs a hair-cut badly)

Clearly I was a peasant in all my hypothetical previous lives, never a Cleopatra! I enjoy manual labor, at least when it is of my own choosing. I do most of the work myself, and ask my DH for help only for things where I lack a skill or the sheer strength to do something. It doesn't happen often. Many difficult things can be done slowly in bits and pieces, and good tools help.

However, for the past few years I have hired people to spread my mulch. It takes them half a day and me two months to do the same amount of work. The cost is only a little bit over me buying the mulch, since they get it at a hefty contractor's discount. Also, we hired hardscape installation -- fence, retaining walls, walkways, and irrigation.

Rosefolly

I do it all myself. I also do all my clients gardens and more! Soap operas are sadly portraying that kind of work all wrong :-)))) Disclaimer: do not click this link if you think Desperate Housewives sucks or you do not have a sense of humor:

Here is a link that might be useful: Gardening work??

We have always done it together.
Lately, I'm able to do less, but DH still digs great holes, spreads mulch, prunes, deadheads, and also stacks concrete blocks.
Without his half, we'd have no garden.

Bless gardens done in teamwork.

Jeri

I usually do most of it myself.

Occasionally I've hired someone to come along and do what I didn't want to.

I would contract out the flying monkeys to do my bidding but it seems they're engaged elsewhere.

MichaelAT

Niels, that was awesome, I laughed myself silly! I've never seen the show because I don't care to waste my time but that was priceless! I suppose in your climate that degree of deshabille could actually be dangerous. Do not try this at home!

Ingrid

I am happy to hear you got a good laugh Ingrid. I watch very few sitcoms, but I like this one. Life on Visteria Lane with the Desperate Housevives and their husbands is so funny. I do however suspect that most of the flowers there are artificial. But as you saw, the hired garden helpers are busy doing so much else. :-)

Niels

Well some folks aren't well enough or are too busy working. I do it all here, over a 1000 roses. It is my job. Michael does the vegatable and fruit trees. He takes care of the water system. I am pleased to do this work. It is just the way I am.

I've really enjoyed this thread. Bill, I had to laugh about your wife thinking the homeless dress better. My husband teases me too. Oh well, after 25 years of marriage he's seen it all!

Yeah. 90 yards of pine bark. Insane, huh? I've taken out a lot of lawn. The mulching is going to get hired out if I have to stand on a street corner and beg. Fortunately not all the beds need it again this year. A couple of the newer areas have been chomped away by lots of earthworms, and is composted down already, so I think only those areas need to be done.

Those of you that have spouses that work beside you in the yard are blessed. My husband just hates doing that stuff and is not enjoyable to be around if forced. Oh well. He has so many other wonderful qualities, works hard, and takes good care of me, so that's the way it goes.

If you see a ratty looking woman with dirt on her face, standing on a street corner with a sign looking for yard help, don't be alarmed. It's only me.

Sandy

Sandy, I just might join ya on the street corner! I too will be a dirty middle aged women probably with wet shorts on cuz my hose never works right begging for a nice young man to Help.

My husband and I garden together but he does more of both the heavy work and the lighter chores because I have health problems. He is especially brave about mowing the lawn because he hates it. A good thing, too, because we never have to argue about removing more lawn and planting roses instead. If we could find someone to mow the lawn we would hire that person tomorrow. Weeding together is fun and a good opportunity to talk across our long borders.

Every May I keep looking for the three small boys who asked one year for jobs to get money for the annual fun fair but they seem to have grown up and grown out of fun fairs. I miss them.

Sandy, I don't think my neighbors would even recognize me without me being covered in dirt and sweating bullets.

Elaine

lol Niels!

I AM the hired help. I do all the garden work myself, although dh helped me dig 12 rose holes this weekend. I do everything except the stone work and dangerous stuff.

Then I work in another large garden, plus a few smaller ones.

Sometimes I would love to hire someone to do some "grunt" work like spread mulch. But I'm not sure I could find anyone.

I do it myself and wouldn't have it any other way. Gardening is good exercise and usually enjoyable. I love that exhausted but content feeling you get after a good day of work among the roses. Although to be honest I could do without the summer heat/humidity and mosquitoes. Factor out those two things and I could probably garden an entire acre. My dream is to retire to a state without those two problems.

Patrick

I've only been "actively" gardening for the past 4 years, and so far been doing it myself. DH does help to dig some holes after I've managed to break numerous shovels. I'm loving every minute of it, and take pride and joy when it all turns out as planned. I've made many mistakes in my quest to beautify my garden, and have hopefully learned from my mistakes.

It's a hobby for me, a physical outlet, a form of excercise (even though my back doesn't always agree).

---
Wendy

I do all my own stone work. HOWEVER....Here is what beggin' gets you...notice cute fella on left who just carried an 80 pound bag of concrete up the hill for me (Thank God).

{{gwi:252366}}

I have two more steps to set in and one more wall to veneer and all my rock work in the yard is done. Forevahhhh!!

So Rhonda n Carolina what is your secret to begging?. You did very well for yourself! I suppose we could always use the poor lil' ol' me thing. That might work.
Your yard is lovely with all that stone work.

rhonda, I can't wait to see your hill when it's done.

I am so spoiled. My DH put in the DG walkways, built the raised beds, put in the arbors, and built a retaining wall. He and our 22 yr old son stuccoed a wall, built a bamboo fence, and put in stepping stones. My son is wonderful, spreading mulch and trimming the cypress arch and cutting back the wisteria. I take care of the roses, and the other plantings, but their help on the heavy stuff is wonderful. We have mow and blow lawn service because none of us are willing to edge the lawn, and it makes it look so much better.

In the cemetery, we have the Sheriff's Work Project crew. I tell them where to dig, what to weed, and where to spread the mulch.

I'm a born supervisor, but still, am dirty, scratched and sweaty most of the time. DH says it's like being married to Pigpen from Peanuts.
Anita

Sherri--

The trick is that I got him hooked on roses. I just buy him a rose from time-to-time and I think that keeps him willing to help me. We counted his roses and he now has 19. I also use pot roast, homemade chili, and blackened chicken alfredo as persuasive devices. Then again, I would also recommend steak marinated in garlic, a touch of worcheshire sauce and brown sugar.... next to a sweet potato with honey butter and cinnamon. THIS I use in times of desperation. lol

Buford--I cannot wait for the hill to burst into bloom. This is year 3....the long awaited year of maturity. I'd say a quarter of the roses up there are at or above 3 yrs old. They are really filling in and finally getting to that picture I have in my mind.

The small side yard was a slope breaking away from the house. Horrible to mow and really bad on my bad knee. I elevated the side yard with cinderblocks and then veneered those. Then, against the house I addded a bed with a rock veneer wall. Now I can grow roses, perennials and even tomatoes in an area that was once only suitable for a billy goat.

I finally feel like the 'bones' of the yard are done. There will always be things to play with...but I hope the hard labor is done. I am sure Tommy does too. lol

Ronda

I can't cook at all, DH does all of that. I'll have to resort to, UM, other methods of persuasion......

I would like my gardener to look like the one in Niel's link.
William, You could not look much worse than me in gardening garb. Don't care of colors don't match, comfort is what it's all about.

Carla

But Carla, your main man is a looker...what more can you want?

I have to give my husband some credit I forgot to give him. He built me a picket fence from scratch, he got me a load of compost last Friday, he helped me unload some rocks, and he likes to sit in my garden and enjoy it, which is important. He is stopping by RU today on his way home from Birmingham to pick up my order, which has expanded a bit.

Have you ever read how slaves used passive resistance by playing dumb, breaking tools, moving slowly, and/or sabotaging the work? That pretty much sums up my DH. In twenty years of marriage, he has yet to dig a single hole. We hadn't been married three months when he mowed the new hedge of baby lilacs I'd planted. Lesson learned.

I had some help digging the beds and adding some admendments to the soil of my garden initially when I had a DH... but I've been divorced for over 3 years and take care of everything but the lawn mowing by myself now. I have over 100 roses and lots of other stuff on my 1/3 acre property and it's sometimes hard work. I'm looking for a strapping young man to hire... or DATE! LOL!

DH does all the yard work...almost. I do a little, but not enough to count for much. I hoed out one bed this spring and it started my disc acting up again. I begged DH to get the man who works at our barn to help, but he wants to do the work himself....so, so, so I just watch and add my two cents about where to put what. I think he enjoys the fact that he does his own yard work.

We do all of ours also. I enjoy digging in the dirt and dh enjoys building things. It's a case of 'jack sprat' with us - all the things he doesn't like, I do and vice versa. But we both enjoy working together to make our garden a happy place for our family.

We've been married for a little over 30 years and I am enjoying all of the time we have together until old age does us in.

Ronda I'll be over to weed if you'll cook for me!! : )

Jackie