Michael, should I ever get my hands on this coveted creature, would it be appropriate to plant in a bed with Honest Abe (a/k/a Mr. Lincoln) or would the bed that houses the Tipsy Imperial Concubine and Happy Butt make for better stories.

Discretion is the least of my worries, Michael. They are all asking to be transplanted at once. Not a peep althrough the dormant period and now that it is sunny and their juices are pumping you'd think they had dreams of mobility! Like you said, there are certain purple roses that just don't want Westerland or Spice so Nice in their face and suddenly everybody has an opinion about their companion plants! Ex."Are those lilies gonna be doubling their corms every year because they are gettiing pretty dense already!"
"Day lilies make me nervous, they are so pushy and ya know they harbor slugs which make confetti of my bloom, hey!heloooooooooo!" Souv. de Claudius Denoyal is from George and normally is quite mannerly (french ya know) but now he wants to be back in the reddeadaheadbed in Lady Hillingdon's place! Well she is dowager tea dame of the place and he is johnnycomelately. And don't act like Luanne is the only one with these problems, all roses are like this. You just don't listen! Well why would you, very few roses can hold up their end of a really interesting conversation.(They are either discussing each other, compost, fungus, water or me!or in your case, you.)It occurs to me to educate my roses but right now we have a 10% water reduction and some of them are too good for grey water...and like I'm going to go read poetry to the roses!
la
Mad gallica pick out a hy-tea for zone 5--ya nearly kilt me!

Luanne, you have alarmed me tonight!
Tomorrow I am going to attempt to slip down to the garden, unannounced and undetected, and eavesdrop on those hoydens! I must know what they are saying!

Allison

Wake up and smell the coffee, ladies. There is a real hurting world (right on your doorstep) that could really use this silly waste of energy.

I can see someone must have hurt you to make you so bitter, and I *am* tuckin' you into my prayers whether you like it or not.

Bushels of Love, ((((Hugs))))
Debbie

Debbie, I haven't been able to save the world so far but perhaps I've amused a few, and that is what my silly waste of energy was aimed at. There are so many worse things to pray for.I don't feel bitter. But we all have our own issues to pray for and if I am one of yours, maybe God will 'splain me to you. There is a conversation I'd love to hear, I think.
la

Debbie, honestly, your post is the oddest one I have ever seen and I'm not sure I understand it. I've reread this post about 10 times trying to find the bitterness. I hope the day never comes that we don't have time for humour and a little bit of silliness since these are the things that keep us sane as we deal daily with "a hurting world".

Carol

I agree....I re-read DebbieÂs post like 5 times trying to determine if she were kidding.....but I think not.

Life is too short not to laugh. We are enjoying the beauty and the friendship that roses brings to us.

Personally, I think this whole post was worth it if only because we appear to have given the Brother the best laugh of his week.

Since when was lifting spirits and making others smile a worthless endeavor??

Ronda

We all have our thorns in our sides and we all have burdens to bear, but I have never seen anything but light-heartedness, humor and love in LA's posts, so perhaps Debbie is not talking about LA. Maybe Debbie is referring to another post or poster, because I know Debbie would not want to hurt anyone's feelings. Like Lu,myself and many others,Debbie has a cross to bear and maybe just not feeling well. Heavy loads do that to all of us.

Well, too bad this misunderstanding came up, because Luanne's riff of yesterday evening was just sublime.

People communicating and laughing together is never a waste of time. Let's do it some more!

OK carry on my friends. I want to know if Allison got any results with evesdropping on her beds. Anyone else more er uh conversational with their roses than they'd like to admit in a public forum? Does anyone have roses who like Rock 'n Roll because mine purely hate it and if there is a boombox going in the street they go ballistic. I tell them roses are not allowed to tote a piece in Richmond and I cannot spend my fun money on rose bail so they will just have to beautify their jails if they can't be peaceful here. Just when I think I can relax in the garden...it's always something. What issues do your roses have? Can you believe Frank heard the comment about ignorant roses and now he'd like the NewYorker when Norm is done with it...(does he know it is only written in English!!!)
la

My roses aren't speaking to me right now. They don't understand why I left them out in the artic air to "freeze their buds off" and those upstarts in the pot ghetto got to stay in the nice warm garage. Then there is the issue of Frank, who they insist is favored because he got the nice warm spot by the chimney. I've tried to explain.....much muttering can be heard from inside the house but the moment I step onto the deck, silence. After all that water and wiltpruf I gave them trying to save their "buds", this is the thanks I get :-)

Carol

Well darlin', I have always said that roses have a poor sense of budget let alone our feelings, they don't come armed with thorns for nothing. I'm sorry they are giving you crap when you break your buns to save their ungrateful little hides but the thing is if at all possible I know they'll turn around and work their hearts out giving you more blooms as soon as they possibly can. Underneath the frosty(bitten)exteriors they are a good bunch of roses. Remember how they recovered from the JB's in time to wow us all despite your disclaimers of leaflessness. My dear you do exaggerate in the best southern manner...anyone with a 14 foot wide Clementina Carbonieri would surprise me if they didn't! Like I said, poor sense of budget.
la

Well, Luanne, I am in from the cold with a dossier that you will never believe. There is politically incorrect intrigue going on down there in the garden like nobody's business!

I am convinced that it all stems from our American Open Door foreign policy, which in its highest, most naive form, is a beautiful thing. But, alas, the Wars of the Roses were not "fini" in England 500 years ago as we were taught in World History, and they have brought it across the pond to continue the struggle in the New World. The English and the French? Still going at it after all these years!
Madame Alfred Carriere is the Mata Hari of the den of spies I am harboring. She managed to corrupt one of England's finest agents yesterday: William Shakespeare 2000 is missing a cane for his efforts to resist that glorious femme fatale, and is no doubt going to require a lengthy debriefing at MI6 HQ before he can be reassigned. That is all I can publicly divulge to you, beloved citizens: I was firmly warned by the Compte de Chambord that if they told me any more they'd have to kill me. Contemplation of a death by rose prickle was a gruesome enough thought that I have sworn to stay out of their politics. However, I will remain watchful throughout the season.

Politics are not the only shady dealings out there, though. Madame Berkeley hosted a Love-In that Heff would have been proud of, and even the prim Miss Alice and her continental cousin Madame Antoine Mari let their hair down for the soiree. The cousins were seen cavorting with Darlow's Enigma and his tall, handsome fraternity brother "Jacksonville Found Rugosa". And those chorus girls, the Cramoisi Superieurs, were really flaunting everything they've got, to the delight of Archduke Charles and Monsieur Tillier. Bad, bad boys, those two. I blush to mention the things I heard after the sun went down...

More later.
And all in good fun, dears.

You guys are crazy, in the most delightful way.
And I see you've corrupted Allison, who seems to have no trouble going toe-to-toe with you ... "William Shakespeare 2000 is missing a cane for his efforts to resist that glorious femme fatale, and is no doubt going to require a lengthy debriefing at MI6 HQ before he can be reassigned". I especially got a kick out of that.

Randy

Thanks Randy. Beware eavesdropping on your lovelies. You will NOT be prepared. I know I wasn't!

Allison

Yeh, Allison, I could have sworn I heard some grumbling the other day from the English Mrs Dudley Cross and All-American's Jefferson & Valentine about that "stinking" new Marie Pavie, calling her "Frenchie" and saying she wears too much perfume. Stuff like "there goes the neighborhood, gone to the fluzzies." And rude comments like, "talk about stink, what about Reine des Violettes, she's so delusional she thinks she's the queen, purple eye-shadow smeared across her face and all." And there is concern from some of them that the Gruss roses have begun throwing their weight around due to their growing numbers, acting like the Gestapo of the garden. Can't they just get along?

Randy

How true Randy, I think it's endemic to their breed... all those centuries on the 'Scepter'd Isle' and all. Even the "All American's" tend to show a bit of stalwartness when those "onion eaters" other side The Channel find title to land so close to hearth and home.

I remember when 'Peter Mayle' first arrived, 'Tamora', 'Charlotte', and 'Evelyn' whispered among themselves for days as to whether
"A Year in Provence" was more about the city, or his romantic allusions of "That strumpet the 'Comtesse de Provence' ", as they giggled behind their lacy little fans.

I still have my suspicions as to why the Comptesse was always the first to come down with a devastating case of blackspot.

BC:)

So that's where she got that bad case of blackspot? Scandalous.
This morning my bunch was fired up again. Whispers of "The British are coming, the British are coming", as 'Heritage' & 'Golden Celebration' continue to settle into their new homes. All the while, SdlM reminding them that they or their families were once immigrants too.
But 'Thomas Affleck' is getting out of hand. The talk is his behavior is bordering on stalking with the new 'Spice' girl. Marie Pavie overheard him calling Spice "hot", and throwing pollen her way. Everyone's got their red-neck rose in the lot, I suppose.

Randy

I'm kind of hard of hearing so I miss what a lot of them are saying, but Altissimo is braying out above the rest like a drill sargeant. He has taken to calling himself "Generaltissimo" and thinks it's his duty to call all the ladies around him to attention. Tells em all in the most self-righteous way to straighten up and be high minded like him.
Yesterday he smelled some alchohol on Crepuscule though she swears she's a teetotaller and it was just the alfalfa. Says she'd be a pile of rubbish if it weren't for her support. I know Tipsy Imperial Concubine is next as she's just around the curve from Crepuscule.
The only one standing up to him is Imperatrice Farrah. I'm sure it's because she's had some assertiveness training because she just won't hide though she is bi colored and blushing scarlet.

The General won't shut up till he gets some hips in fall. You know, hips don't lie and it'll be obvious he's been up to something though I don't know who'd want to have anything to do with such a bare bottomed brute.

Linda

... "you know, hips don't lie". LOL.

Randy

I wonder if this rose likes Hindu poetry? That was great fun last winter, Luanne.
I don't know much about sports, but aren't they a throwback to a parent? Checking back all the crosses, I found Peace Rose, Joanna Hill(Our Temple is built on a Hill), and Madame Butterfly in a long list of red roses with some yellows and orange thrown in.
Any resemblance to Madame Butterfly?

Here is a link that might be useful: Madame Butterfly

You guys are all Just The Best!
I have read the comments above, and I have finally seen why we are so insane about our roses. They become an extended family for us, so much better than soap operas, and far more entertaining than real life (well, at least speaking for myself). I will foreverafterwards now recognize Generaltissimo in my own garden, Linda! What a great storyteller you are! And Randy, I am going to keep an eye on that Tom Affleck: he IS a very bold fellow, and we shall see by autumn what mischief he has been up to! Brother C., I am wondering what else those little hussies are gossiping about in your glen.

Thanks for starting this, Luanne.... I have always gotten so much joy from your imagination, your poetry, your wonderful photographs, and of course all your great knowledge about roses! A wonderful thread, and I look forward to more of the tittle-tattle through the season!

Allison

Nope the sport of yves Piaget looks like this:
{{gwi:246787}}
White with a blushed center and picotee. Gave the cuttings to Gregg yesterday. Went to Rosefolly's beautiful party-her garden is so beautiful, thank God she was able to find that one weed...I got three new roses, William Orr, Legendery and Lady Wenlock and came home to find out that apparently Michael cannot take roses from any of our gardens. Mine are small time compared to the wheeler dealer roses in Allison's garden. Why watch reality tv when your own roses are outdoing Ian Fleming???
Things I didn't know BS is an STD???the rose equivalent of syphyllis? Altissimo is a general--pronounced with an h?
Yes Kaylah, I ppurely loved that thread, even saved it.
Michael now that we know my roses are just common garden variety neurotics compared to some of these guys where do you go for those clear browed, innocents you appear to favor? Are there such roses any more?
la

Well I fear that in the land of ice and snow where the cold winds blow, not one of those southern flinty, flirty, flowsey, damsels would catch the eye of pioneer Mr. McNabb ... only those with a fine hardwood grain, with shoulders as wide as an ox, and ankles as thick as a 100 year oak would be welcomed in his garden.

Well, I'm not having any roses who talk about me behind my back. My roses would never do that, I'm sure.

Pretty sure. . . at least I don't think they would. . . would they?

Yeah Michael, your roses were raised on holy water and propagated immaculately. It is good of you not to listen in,somethiing to be said for a man who trusts his roses Bwahahahahahah.
la

Harrumph. My trusting days are over. Bunch of deviates, the whole Rosa family.

Blackspot is am STD?
Goodness, I should'a known...

You guys crack me up!
K

Well all my roses spent the winter reading Proust in bed. Now that Spring is here they refuse to rouse themselves. Here are some of the things I'm hearing:

Eugene de Beauharnais - "Like many intellectuals, he was incapable of saying a simple thing in a simple way. "

Baronne Henriette de Snoy - "Let us leave pretty women to men devoid of imagination. "

Mme de Sevigne - "The charms of a passing woman are usually in direct relation to the speed of her passing."

And when I went to SP Lady Hillingdon all she had to say was "All our final decisions are made in a state of mind that is not going to last."

To all of which I responded - "Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."

George

Very nice, George, but surely Albertine has something to contribute?

"Si tu m'aime, prends garde a toi!"

Should have known that George's roses would be reading Proust......

Carolina

That's only during the day when George is keeping an eye on them and making sure that they receive a good education. I hear that at night they are naughty and use small flashlights to read by.

Pamela Temple reads big meaty victorian novels.....Dickens, Wilkie Collins, George Meridith. Also romantic poetry.... Byron Keats and Shelly. That's when she settles in for the night. During the day she runs wild.

I hope George appreciated the set-up line.

Greatly Michael, thanks! Did you appreciate the response?

\;^)

Grand slam. Sitting on the hanging curve ball.

Maybe we should explain that Albertine, the delicious rambler, is named after Albertine, the femme fatale in Proust. She says, "If you love me, better watch out for yourself."

Meaning: "Side effects may include, but are not limited to, intoxication, madness, betrayal, heartbreak, suicide attempts, powdery mildew, and strangulation of small trees."

Double match point!

La if that rose ever makes it to Canada you can be sure I will buy it just to hear all the tales from your garden. LOL I would plant her right under my bedroom window where I could lay at night during the summer with the window open and listen to the antics, guaranteed to bring a smile to my face and wonderfully lusty rosey dreams.

None of my guys are talking to me yet, they are sulking in their pots refusing to come out till the sun shines on them. Can't pamper them though as they would expect it all the time, gotta be tough on the roses down this way or they will end up just drinking beer and living on welfare.

Valerie

hahahahaLOL!

"drinking beer and living on welfare"

Oooooo! A hoot!

BC:)

LOL Valerie you are a nut!!! LOVE it

LOL Valerie you are a nut!!! LOVE it

Oh, and Westerland and Ida's Red are feuding over a simple stretch of about two feet. I caught them, canes entangled, fussing over who was there first!

Brats.

I need Advil.

You guys haven't a clue what a balm to a weary soul y'all are while I sit here working midnights dreaming of beautiful roses and trying to stay awake. Then I come across all of this. I had to stop reading and run to the bathroom because I didn't have any dry clothes to change in to if I had an accident in my pants! Don't stop !!!

Thank you so much to all of you for enlightening me! I am inclined towards obliviousness when I am in the garden and I'd never really payed attention to the whispers. The overt begging, sure - "I'm thirsty" or "I don't feel well" is impossible for any mother to ignore - but other than admonishing them as "ungrateful brats" I am afraid I've been far too businesslike with them.

I don't know what the poor fellow did to tick them off, but Marie Pavie and Comtesse du Cayla have poor Alfred de Dalmas down on the ground and are choking the life out of him! I've asked nicely, but neither of those ladies will tell me... I must assume that it's presumed to be too scandalous for me to bear. It is hoped that once I have Alfred by the throat with his roots in the air he will tell me what vile deed he perpetrated upon those two blameless ladies... the size of his pot will be determined by the forthrightness of his response.

But what if he is blameless, as inconceivable as that may be? Perhaps they just didn't consider him studly enough? I have heard them refer to him as "poofy Mousseline"... I may have misinterpreted their tone as admiration for the size and splendor of his blooms, rather than spite or envy. He is still rather small and dainty - not very robust - but that's not his fault, is it? Perhaps I am to blame for seating him between them in the first place, where they can hog all the food, water and sunlight? So I'd best be gentle with him when I relocate him - a rescue, rather than punishment.

It is obvious that I need to pay closer attention to my roses' preferences in bedmates, sigh....

Another thing I am now forced to wonder about is... who has the Duchess of Sutherland been cavorting with to have caught such a wicked case of blackspot???

Well, are the cuttings still alive?

I could not make myself click the back arrow and go to bed. So I had to bookmark this thread, making a new folder "Rose Humor". And I suppose the worst (best?) part is that I found humor is michaelg's last question - "Well, are the cuttings still alive?" I have enjoyed myself immensely this evening. Thank you all very much. And goodnight.

Thanks for reviving this wonderful, silly thread!

I heard a plot out there this afternoon. The dratted Bermuda Grass Brigade is staging a coup... And by the looks of things, they have enlisted the help of the itenerant Dandelion Dragoons. My poor roses, I will have to come to the rescue this weekend with some Great Equalizer: the yard man cometh.

Until the unrest is squashed, I doubt there will be any further cavorting down there. But I have every hope that the bacchanalia will resume by October.

~Allison