I used to love eating Portuguese sausage when I lived in Hawaii from 1980-82 and yes, it was on the McDonald's breakfast menu! Isn't saimin still on the regular menu too? Haven't been to Hawaii in years. Yes, there is a large Portuguese community in New England and linguica is easy to find. I used to go on 3-week instructor tours for my agency in Andover, MA and was delighted to find linguica. It's the sausage required for caldo verde which is awesome. There are a lot of Portuguese-Americans in California too. Anyway, I have been raising kale for at least 6 years now. My sister-in-law who is originally from Utah, makes this wonderful kale dish. Here it is: Sautéed Kale Two bunches of kale. Cut off the stems and tear up the leaves into smaller pieces. Tear it up like you would lettuce leaves for a salad. Take four strips of bacon and chop it into small pieces or use a 1/2 cup of diced ham and pan fry lightly with a couple tbsp of olive oil. When the bacon is almost done or when the ham has been lightly cooked take a quarter cup of chopped onions and 1 or 2 cloves (chopped) of garlic and add to the mix cooking lightly until the onions are transluscent. Now add the kale and stir it around until it starts to reduce (about 5 minutes on medium flame), put a lid on the skillet and reduce the heat to low and let it sit for about 3-5 minutes. Then sprinkle balsamic vinegar to your tastes and stir everything up. Turn off the heat and let the mixture sit for another 3-5 minutes. Serve immediately. It's delicious. Kale is also great sautéed and mixed with eggs for an interesting flair to a Sunday morning omelette. Kale in many types of soup is good. Kale is great in Italian Wedding Soup, in plain old American vegetable soup, sautée kale with smoked turkey wing for quick greens. I've grown the Red and White Russian varieties, Blue Scotch curled and of course the Lacinato which some now call dinosaur kale. Ick! Hate that moniker because that's not what it is at all just some name some marketer gave it a while back. The Lacinato Nero di Tosca has a sweeter, subtler taste but I like all of them. America needs to eat more kale. Here's a link to Kale's health benefits. http://healthmad.com/nutrition/health-benefits-of-kale/ My sister is a survivor of breast cancer now going into her 5th year cancer-free and her nutritionist recommended eating kale for its cancer-fighting properties. Here's another link. http://whatscookingamerica.net/LindaPosch/Kale.htm You can freeze kale too for eating in the winter. America needs more kale!

The wing chairs *are* very quirky but they have grown on me over the years and I'm kind of excited about putting them in our living room. They tend to get a reaction, good and bad. LOL. Our house is large and there are rooms I seldom visit unless I am dusting or vacuuming. Even the dining room isn't used unless we are hosting. My family room will remain in tact with the exception of getting a sofa bed instead of my well loved but worn leather couch we bought 20 yrs ago. If we set up two larger rooms for her, with the bulk of her things, they won't be part of our daily living. She can still maintain control of her stuff. I don't do festering. It's just not my style. I deal with issues head on, in the moment, and then let them go. If she can't deal with her dining furniture in our house, I'll suggest perhaps we should sell it and bring back my own things. I will tell her over and over if I must, that her things are being loved by the next generation. I can't imagine this being an issue though. She is meek. I am not. She has always respected *my* house. Even if I insisted we store the pads, she would likely be OK with it. But I won't go there right off the bat. I'd like her to get good and settled before I make changes other than a tablecloth. We have pets. Our kids are grown and gone. If she gets annoying, I'll take upstairs to her apartment where she can watch TV, read books and talk on her own phone line. Seriously, my beloved Uncle urinated in the corner of our living room, thinking he was in the 'out house'. He climbed stairs all through the night and we'd wake up to him staring us in the face, lost. We remained loving and understanding. DH never complained and we replaced the carpet when he left. (Actually, we pulled up the carpet and refinished the floors underneath.) Because we have a large house, it won't be as bad as it would be if we had a normal sized house. I'm renting a storage space so we can see what is most important before we disperse things within the family or sell it. She is 89. She needs to feel loved, needed and cherished for the remainder of her years. And if she can't be left alone down the road, at least she has $ so we have have someone come here to stay with her. That wasn't an option for my elders. She is a piece of cake.

I'm not sure why you're still posting to me when it's obvious that your situation is/was much different and agreeable to all involved. And, since there isn't an actual "step" relationship that exists for you as the SM is out of the picture, it probably is hard to relate. Here's the whole story - worked w/ DH a couple of years, got along w/ this DD, helped her in tennis (I played through college on a scholarship) but saw that she wasn't a worker at it and had visions of playing at the next level. Tried to tell her that practice in this sport needed to be daily, not weekly if she really wanted to play in college. Then, the ex and DH split up due to her affair w/ this DDs tennis coach. As I said, she bought his groceries (DH found her unloading them once at his apt!), gave him $, displaced DH as the father - took this man w/ her and the kids to the movies, etc. Fast forward - my engagement to my fiance from residency broke up - he wanted me to move to central FL, I was caring for my Dear Nephews 7 days/week who hadn't been dealt a fair hand in the parenting dept. I was living at my parent's home, paying all their bills and cleaning the house entirely weekly. DH and I loved sports - began taking my DNephews to games, etc. We fell in love - I didn't see it coming as he was 19 yrs. older and I'd never dated anyone that much older. Our first kiss was months later, 5 days before his divorce was final. The ex's bf dumped her and she was very bitter learning that he and I were seeing one another. She trashed my name to patients, neighbors, etc. We had a mutual friend who worked for us and this woman tried to get our rec't to give her all the addresses of all patients so she could spread her venom even more. The rec't quit under the stress of being friendly w/ all sides, severing ties w/ the ex, but leaving us high and dry after she worked for my DH for 17 yrs. It hurt the practice. During the time we dated (1 1/2 yrs), my steps were nowhere to be seen. In fact, I didn't see them at all while dating DH. They didn't come to the office and I didn't go to his place on his weekends (felt they needed time to reestablish a relationship w/o the gf around), and his ex tried like heck to NOT have them see him - coming up w/ any excuse to not allow his EOW visits to occur. She would often just have the DD play tournaments on her weekends w/ her dad, so they'd often be busy there, sometimes out of town at them. The kids were completely lost to him. We married when they were 12, 14, 16. The DDs said they wanted to go to the wedding, so I took them shopping for dresses. I thought they had changed their hearts back to where they were before I dated their dad, but when we got in the middle of the mall, they screamed that they HATED me and to get out of their lives. It was a terrible scene. I was embarrassed, hurt, you name it. My SS attended the wedding, the girls did not. After the honeymoon, the ex cried that she was being evicted from her place - which was one room w/ her and these three kids. (DH paid handsomely and she skimped on EVERYTHING for these kids - the double dipping was sickening! The kids would come over w/ the clothes on their backs, and in one instance, w/ no shoes. Come on!) I immediately offered the rental I have (that I now have offered SD) or to allow us to house the kids while she found a place. Not willing to give up CS, that was opposed. I said that I wasn't worried about CS, just trying to help out. She moved the kids over and over and must have a small fortune stashed by now...never into the home I rent out. Anyway, on weekends, this SD usually had tennis - the ex would have her in tournaments on "our" visitation weekends that were out of town. DH would take her. Sometimes I'd have the other kids, sometimes she'd keep them. My weekends were filled w/ awkwardness. The kids did not respect me, I tried like heck to please them - made whatever they wanted, movies, amusement parks, etc. If I had them, they ALWAYS brought a friend to spend the weekend w/ us, so very little alone time was spent w/ me as the "buffer" friends were there and I didn't know what to do. If this SD and her sister were w/ us, the room was left in squalid conditions. Often, the beds would be moved so that I couldn't enter the room. I'd have to enter an adjacent bedroom, go through the connecting bathroom, then into their room. Sheets, comforters, wet towels would be all over the place. There were many other disgusting things that I'll spare you of related to their monthly cycles... Anyway, I'd complain to DH, he'd say nothing, and things didn't improve. By the time they came back, a gentle, "Please try to leave the room the way you find it, girls..." would follow. I was too unassertive to speak up. Then, a couple of years later, college followed - we paid, naturally, and they began to crash in on us each break, despite their mother now having a house and living alone. From never wanting to be around us, suddenly it was us they always with. They knew who buttered their bread. In they'd crash w/ a bunch of friends. Not one of them EVER made a bed, which is one of my few pet peeves - I have things cluttered up, but the beds are always made before we leave the house. By then, I had the boys, still worked, lived in our office bldg in cramped conditions, 2 bathrooms - showers only, etc. It wasn't comfortable for DH, me, his 3 kids, our 2-3 sons depending on the year, their friends, etc. The stepson, who had made fun of our old house (prior to its demo and this new one being built) HATED living in an office "basement" (ground floor of a 2 story bldg) and complained to anyone and everyone. Still, I tried to please him. I GAVE him my loaded Ford Explorer and he called it a piece of junk. It was no such thing - was very nice, 2 y. old. He was supposed to work for us, showed up twice in a summer in exchange for a car he felt was suitable. What did DH do? Bought him a LEXUS that we could not afford. Suddenly, DH was able to get financing (everything else is in my name as he has bad credit). The car didn't have xenon lights so the creep yelled, "I'd rather have a Honda Civic w/ xenon lights that this w/o them!" GRRRR - and I have a Honda and it's a GREAT car! DH and I fought. Later, the SAME situation occurred w/ the girls. They have a huge sense of entitlement. I realize DH's parenting caused a lot of this, but their mother told them over and over to basically try to take us to the cleaners and they have! DH married their mom as she was pg - said she was on the pill....They had broken up when she turned up pg. He stepped up, then a few years later, she stepped out, poisoned the kids, later tried to prevent me from having a relationship w/ them which worked for a long time. Then, suddenly, it could cost her to keep them from us. So, she and they all saw that Daddy would buy more toys - and so the story goes. Please, don't act like I haven't tried or didn't know this man had kids. They've made it clear how they feel and also that if they want anything, it wouldn't come from their mom. DH w/ the guilt or whatever, is a pleaser, and tries in the wrong ways to bond w/ these kids. I don't think it's right, but I DO understand. We all LOVE our kids, would lay down our lives for them, etc. I know he's in a tough position. However, I do not want my kids raised in the same manner and do not want any of their materialism influencing my children. I want to raise INDEPENDENT and happy, healthy men, not boys. My SD has received the benefit of the doubt so much of the time. She hasn't wanted for anything. I've mentioned that her father is stressed about our finances as we wait for some help from the ins. co due to the fire in '05, that he is stressed w/ time, still she forks over her bills and her errands, not handling anything. It's just making me sick. Sadly, these children have a huge sense of entitlement and are greedy people. The YSD never spoke to me, but after her mother found religion handed me a Christmas list and said, "My mother is baking a birthday cake for Jesus. She doesn't believe in the commercialism of Christmas, so I guess I'll have to give you this." I was dumbfounded, but off I went, buying everything on the list. It was ALL returned, and has been ever since. See, I still TRY, feel like there could be a window for a real relationship to form, but I'm always disappointed. Now, I have my own kids' well-being to be concerned w/. After the b-day, shopping trip that never happened to my oldest last month, I see a pattern and I won't have my own kids feeling disappointed like I have over the years. Guess I even tried to placate them materialistically - basically in any way I could. I've never had this situation. Don't you see, TOS, it's all about "her." For me being as close to my mother as I am, I'd rather stay w/ her in a hut w/o A/C, 'cause I love her, than w/ anyone else in a palace. I don't think these kids understand love. They all but dumped their mom when they began wanting things she wouldn't provide. What kind of love it that? And, now, living w/ me and DH and our three sons while her mother lives alone? Just doesn't make sense. I think when their mother found religion, they found Daddy again as mom started tithing to her church and not to them...maybe they see their mom's lies and severed some ties because of that, but regardless, these kids don't care for me. I allowed myself to be treated like a doormat, trying to be accepted, liked, etc. That's my mistake, but I'll be darned if it will continue or extend to my kids. This morning, she was yelling because my younger two woke her up 10min. before her alarm would go off and she needed that sleep (did her own laundry last night, hooray, but didn't like it apparently!) It's the youngest one's 3rd b-day and they were excited. I was making everyone breakfast, got a dirty look for not keeping them quieter, but I smiled, "Good morning!" She mumbled something back and that was that...agree to disagree yet?

When I moved to a house on a well, without a water softener, all my kitties wanted to drink was the well water (would sit in sink & tub just waiting for drips). Because of the high iron content, I did not want them drinking it. So I tried bottled water, which they did not like, and decided that I did not want them drinking that because it was not chlorinated and would be sitting in their bowl for 24-hours, and knowing they dip their paws in the bowl after having those same paws in the litterbox. Final solution - fill gallon bottles of water at my sisters house, as she has chlorinated municipal tap water. They were OK with that water. Knowing how critical water is to kitties, I bought 2 different types of fountains; they never used them and were a PITA to clean. Also add water (~1-2 ounces daily) to canned food to promote adequate hydration, dilute urine and help prevent obesity/diabetes and FLUTD.