I think that's a wonderful idea.

Hi Susan - still need to send you some pictures of my orange countertop kitchen so you can tell me if it is salvagable.

Love to hubby and the kids. Wish you were here in Dallas at the Heritage convention with me.

All kind intentions aside, I'd say a resounding no. I think she needs to give the gift she is able to give and be appreciated for that. Without his mom's help.
Not meaning to offend you at all, just my opinion. (I do have older children.)
Kathy

Susan, I think I would not interfer. It is her evening for your son and she's gone to a lot of trouble to make it as nice as SHE can. While in our eyes it may make it more special, but to them, it will be special on it's own. It is what SHE can afford to do and your son is very lucky to have found a girl who cares about him.
I think I would resist the temptation to 'help', and perhaps I would treat them both to another 'special' dinner with a gift certificate for their favorite restaurant or a restaurant they would love to try if they only had a little more money.
I'm always resisting the temptation to make things more fun for our son and DIL, and the payoff is then I see the joy on their faces when they've done something on their own and it is better than anything 'I' could do for them.
Sam

No, stay out of it. :) You are very sweet but this is her gift to your boy. Let her do it without feeling that she can't afford "enough". They'll have a great time all by themselves.

You don't want to be one of THOSE "in-laws" (whatever its called before marriage) who always seems to think kid's SO can't get it right by themselves.

I say no too. But, if they like the restaurant enough, then perhaps you can give them a gift certificate for their next visit. (And let us know how they like it, especially if it is any of Mario Batali's restaurants, I'm dying to eat at one of them myself!)

Why not say "hey I have a gift certificate from that restaurant that I haven't used, you want it"? Otherwise, I'd say no too.

Susan, you have such a big heart and love your family so much! Your intentions are wonderful, but I agree with the majority. This is something the girlfriend wants to gift to your son, and it should remain between them. It will mean so much more to the two of them that way. Let them have their fun!
Love,
Kathy

Another vote for letting it be just her gift to him. (Be thankful that they let you know about it. If you try to help it could be misinterpreted and next time you won't know about their plans at all.)

You are such a terrific mom, and generous to a fault. The majority is right, let them do their own little celebration. Treat them with a gift certificate for another time, or some other clearly separate gift. There is nothing wrong with your intentions, but you can't be certain how they'll be interpreted, so play it safe.

Ah, the forum speaks. True....the girl's a sweetheart, but it would be like I'm "there" in some way. Any chance I can call and tell the restaurant please make sure they get good service since they're starving college students and not rich/blase? Nah, I guess not.

What fantastic advice here, I would have said "Yeah, go for it - wonderful gesture", but you know, other people on the ouside-looking-in here, are making a lot more sense. Cool!......now aren't you glad you brought it up! :)
Pauline - Vancouver Island

Although a great bottle of wine is a good idea, I think it's more special if girlfriend does this on her own. Maybe you can take them out for cake and coffee or something soon.

Carla

Bobby Flay, who is it. I'm dying here.

Don't get involved. Too much like "Everybody loves Raymond" when his mother tried to get Robert the job with the FBI. It's WAY to mothery.

Let the couple figure it all out for themselves. That's the main part of the excitement after all.

You can give them a great bottle of wine for the birthday. They can drink at home one day or take it to the restaurant. Corkage will probably be no more than $25 unless they're going to Per Se - just make sure that they call ahead and the bottle isn't on the wine list already and it REALLY is something special.

I used to do the same thing with my girlfriend when I was in college. Never had any money at all, but we went to a great restaurant once a month. Always managed to have a pretty good meal too. If they did this often, then your underwriting would probably be different, but in this case, dinner seems pretty special and I would leave it alone and go trim some roses or something!

I hope they have a good time - it is New York after all. I took my wife to Felidia's for her birthday a couple of years ago. She was ecstatic because her meal was all in a pile like Lydia does it on TV. I was super PO'd because when the sommelier recommended a wine I had no interest in, he got snooty at my wine choice (a perfect one incidentally). Then he got irritated when I asked him for an ice bucket because he had just taken the bottle from a shelf in the dining room.

"The wine is at room temperature sir."

"Exactly the problem. The room is too warm for wine in general and way too warm for this wine. So bring me an ice bucket."

My wife didn't mind, but I did. If they can avoid some idiot like him, they should have a great time. This girlfriend sounds pretty fabulous.

AH gee young (almost) impoverished love is always so sweet and so are it's hard earned gifts. You have a great heart and a kind practical soul but I'd let her have this gift to give. A week later send them both somewhere fabulous or a shopping spree at Dean and Delucca.

LOVE the idea of shopping at Dean and Delucca....you know, they go down to Chinatown to get fish and vegetables because it's cheaper down there. So cute...

good advice!!!! glad to see you all!

Susan I mean this in the kindest way:

Sweetie you need to butt out.

That even means not making the telephone call to ensure good service. If you do and the girlfriend finds out she is going to think you are some kind of a control freak - big-Big-BIG red flag.

Just don't do it.

BTW, there is a DEAN & DELUCCA in the Georgetown neighborhood of Washington D.C. Absolutely wonderful gourmet store located in a restored old markethouse (gorgeous building!). When I lived in the District I used to love to walk across the P Street bridge to Georgetown on early Saturday mornings and go have breakfeast in their outdoor cafe. Sigh ... sometimes I really do miss the city.

Click the link below to read more about this interesting neighborhood in the Nation's Capital ... and yes those Exorcist steps really do exist and are as creepy as all heck. LOL!

Here is a link that might be useful: Georgetown Info at Wikipedia

Susan, stay out of it. And so what if they get snooty service - they are young and still learning, it could be one of life's lessons that maybe their hard earned money should be better spent in non-snooty places. It's all educational.

Here's a short story for you to read, it's quite beautiful. Now imagine if the story character's mom showed up and meddled. :)

Here is a link that might be useful: Gift of the Magi by O'Henry

Ursulita and I are on the same wave I went to that site the other day to re read Gift of the Magi. Somthing a foody would love and is almost never in tehir stock is a good bottle of aged balsamic Vinegar.

Hey Susan - nothing wrong with going to Chinatown for the fish and veggies. I shop there as often as possible, and in the Brooklyn Chinatown too. You can't beat the prices and the selection is great. Dean and Deluca is where you go for stuff that they don't have in Chinatown - prepared food, pastries(!), imported olive oils and vinegars, specialty salts, etc.

Actually, a D&D certificate sounds like a great gift for people who are foodies. What a good idea. Now I'm hungry.

Gotta run - one of my wife's students is singing at the Met tonight and we need to go have dinner first. But it occurs to me after all this dinner talk - wanna have dinner some time? If I would have thought of it earlier, I would have suggested tonight.

rinny, would LOVE dinner....you know, there's a well kept secret of a great place (not necessarily suggesting we'd go there) but we're loving it....believe it or not, and trust me on this, the Fairway Cafe, above the Fairway supermarket on the UWS. Fantastic, fresh, cheap prices. Add a window seat to overlook Broadway, and it's all good. Joe, you and Edd need to come up to the UWS, if you're available too soon, we'll all have some fun one day soon. Let's do it.

I know the Gift of the Magi story. How sweet. These two kids are really adorable. They're working hard on perfecting their recipe for a snack bar, organic, but of course.

Hey, Susan!! Just prepped the java for the morning and thought I'd lurk a bit. So happy to see the tivoli name on the forum!!

I'm with the rest of the gang. Biggest sign of being a grown up is that your mom isn't there when you go out with your beloved for a really nice dinner, and she doesn't call the cafe to arrange for nicer service, or a special appetizer/martini or whatever.

Just put yourself in their shoes, and you'll know what to do.

I'll email you this weekend!

Happy birthday to that cycling maniac, by the way!

yeah debra was going to hunt you down! things are on the upswing a bit...what do you mean, there's no place for a mom to do what's only right and with love???

;-)

All I know is, I'm going here at 7:30 am..going to get a bunch of crazy chichi $150 sheets (for one sheet) marked down to $29..will report back! click on the sale. It's an upscale store(s) in manhattan and their warehouse is in queens. It's the best kind of down and dirty sale in a warehouse for the unwashed masses.

Here is a link that might be useful: Gracious Home Sale

I'm back! A nice, blue/black iron round cocktail table that's very decorative was $410 marked down to TEN DOLLARS!! Ralph Lauren 370 thread count sheets marked $80 (for one sheet)....TEN BUCKS! Two cordless phones $15 each and a few miscellaneous tools that DH got. I'm a happy camper.

Susan,
You are a sweetheart. It is kinda hard not to love your kids too much.

Why not just send the fine wine to me. I promise to drink it out in the garden and throw the bottle into the bed with the empty beer cans.

I've always been known as a diplomat and am proud to offer this compromise.

yeah, i know, i know...i'm guilty! They ended up going to a Bobby Flay restaurant and said it was really great. No interference from moi.

Hey harry, i was in your neck of the woods two days ago. Boy, Pennsylvania really has traffic...I was on my way to the King of Prussia convention center, on 276 maybe? lots of traffic. There was one road that veered off toward Allentown and I thought of you!

You think any wine would still be around? Not a chance. I'll be doing some heavy drinking tonight, as my daughter and son in law are coming out for the weekend. In a good way, and heavy drinking is two glasses rather than one! hahahaha

It's great that they had a good time. Best to them.

We'll be in touch.