I have rescued many plants over the years and taken cuttings and/or diggings from many more. But I always follow certain guidelines. This is how I determine what I will take and what I won't, for what it's worth: 1. I never take anything from private property without permission. 2. I never, ever take cuttings from public gardens or botanical gardens, as those are display gardens. If everyone took cuttings, there would soon be nothing to display. 3. I am very cautious about taking wildflowers from the wild, as most don't transplant well. And if there is any chance they are endangered or threatened in the wild, I leave them alone so they can grow and reseed where they should be. BUT... 4. Anything in the path of a bulldozer is fair game. Like most of you, if I know an area is being developed, I figure I'm saving the plants that I take from certain death. That's how my mother got the beautiful butterfly orchid that I've had for more than 30 years now. 5. Plants that are obviously not natives but are growing in wild areas are usually just fine to dig and take. They don't belong there, anyway. Exceptions would be areas that have been deliberately seeded with wildflowers, etc. But I have found all sorts of neat things that volunteered in areas where they really didn't belong. 6. I have taken plants from roadside ditches, both native and exotics, for my enclosed ponds. I never dispose of any of them in any way that would release them back into our natural waterways. But I've snatched water hyacinths, water lettuce, pickerel weed, arrowhead, duckweed and more from ditches in the past. This is probably an activity that is punishable by fines, at least, since water hyacinths are such a terrible nuisance in our streams & rivers. But I know that any I take are "out of the system" for good, so I don't feel too bad. (Just be aware that if you are caught taking them, you could be fined, at the very least. The law probably doesn't care HOW responsibly you use them.) 7. And lastly, anything already broken off and laying on a sidewalk, or in an aisle, or on a path is fair game. That's going to be a goner if you DON'T pick it up and pot it, so why not? Just my thoughts. Found plants are a blessing I would hate to be without, but I try to use common sense and be fair to others. Marcia

My two daughters (currently living at home) both wear spiked high heeled shoes. I don't. My floors have not been damaged by their heals. The red oak floors is very hard. Several years ago, we had heart pine floors and had a babysitter come in with high heels (go figure!) and she left a trail of little pock marks all over the house. I just chucked it up to character and let it go. It was nothing worse than what the cats did to the dining room table, or the dogs nails did to the floors, not to mention what the children have done to our houses over the years. :)

As a person who has a lost a pet to someone who found it, and then claimed it as theirs, I totally understand the point of this thread. I have a hard time reading threads of people who have not done any notification or attempts to find previous owners when taking in stray animals. My pet was lost when my neighbors lit off fireworks on the 4th of July. We were in the backyard. My large dog was frightened, busted down the back fence gate, and ran. The small dog chased and followed. The larger dog was returned home about two days later, because of the phone number on her collar. The smaller dog never did come home. I spent hundreds of dollars on flyers and advertisements. I spent countless hours and time off work, searching, calling and visiting local shelters and police stations. I put flyers in every mail box and every store for about 10 mile radius. I probably didn't sleep for at least a month and I still have nightmares about losing her to this day (its been three years now.) Eventually someone, via the flyers, tipped me off about their neighbor who had acquired a pet very similar to the one in the flyer, around the fourth of July. They lived about 1 mile away (as the crow flies) about 5 miles by car. The theives lived two doors down from the home who found and called me on the big dog. (So the dogs were probably close together the entire time they were gone.) A dog tag on a collar isn't really helpful in this situation. As the theif just removes the collar and the tag. (I now have all my dogs microchipped.) The police said that without a microchip, very specific birthmark or a tattoo, they could not intervene on my behalf. A photograph is not good enough identification for a pet... too many dogs look similar. (The police even said unless the people who have possession "agree" to let them scan for a chip, that microchips are somewhat limited in this type of situation.) I was staking out their house, waiting for an opportunity to grab her and run...that is how desperate I was. The people who claimed her as their own, realized that I was on to them and they got rid of my dog. I have an idea where they sent her, I've heard (through their neighbors) that she was sent to a farm, somewhere about 200 miles south of here. The police have questioned them on a couple occaisions, but they claim ignorance. I also know the theives have told their neighbors that they "rescued" a stray dog. So these people believe they have done my dog a favor by saving her from me. Even though she had a color with my name and number on it, a rabies tag,... she was spayed, fully vaccinated, plump, spunky, trained to sit, stay, shake and roll over. She was the the most cutest little dog anyone would ever want. Which is one reason why I didn't get her back. IF she would have been a big dog, I know that they would not have "rescued" her. The only thing I have now is the comfort that my dog wasn't eaten by coyotes. I hope that where ever she is now, she is as happy now, as she was when she lived with us. I hope she remembers us and maybe someday she will even find her way home. I think about that Disney movie, Homeward Bound, imagining her travelling very far, in a big adventure... Another thing that I found out when I was looking for my dogs, was that some people were very helpful and other people were down right cruel. I would get comments from the animal shelter staff or a vet's office, about how they were glad that they never had to worry about trying to find their pets, because they never let their loose. It was like a stabbing me in my already broken heart. So just to let you know, that if you take in a stray and do not make any legal attempt to find the original owners, then you are a theif.

I don't know -- I married a man that was never married and had no children and it has been drama free bliss! Just because I was married and had children does not mean that I MUST be a stepmom NOW. I chose not to be a stepmom for this simple reason. If OP was a mom, it would not change the BM in her life. it wouldn't help her to understand either. My ex's new wife is a divorced mom and she is the crazy one. I've heard from my Dd that she is a crazy BM too. I have no idea although I can't imagine her ever being sane anyway. I think your advice is great for a person who enjoys being #1 and wants to be the first wife and the first mom and the first of everything. But that isn't how everyone is. I AM THAT way! I did not want to deal with someone else's kids and someone else's baby momma. That's just me being honest. I dated this guy once that did have kids. He was divorced but his ex lived on the other side of the country. She was never a problem for me. This was when I made my 'no ex or kids' rule. But the guy was always talking trash about the mother of his children. She was a B or she was a Wh09e or she was spending his child support on a new car, this and that. I would get so mad at him. Why? Because I was a mom and these same complaints were being said about me. They could have been in a 'hate my ex' club together. He would go on and on about how he never loved her and that they were young and dumb and she for pregnant on the pill etc. And this was a man that I really really liked. But the more he talked the less I respected him and felt sorry for his ex wife. No one should use the young and dumb or drunk excuse when talking about how they conceived their children. I realized that I had become that ex that men complain about and place blame on AND that I could be her AGAIN with this new guy. Because he could not stop talking trash about her I wondered what he would say about me when we split!! I also just told my husband, do you realize I trapped you into pregnancy? Lol he said WHAT? I said remember how I was on birth control but I had gotten strep throat and received a shot of penicillin? He said ya and your BC didn't work anymore that month Yea I remember. I said 'and do you remember how drunk I was that night?' he said nope cause I don't remember it myself. Lol yes my son was conceived on birth control, on the night of our company christmas party when I was suffering from the worst case of strep EVER!! I hope he tells his second wife what a wh09e I was for trapping him into having our first son. Lol it will be a riot!! Any woman that sits back and listens to that garbage and still respects the man enough to marry him and have more children with him, better hope she never ends up being his ex.