Guess he thought he was wrong, and we're back together now. I was out and about when he called and it put me in such a good mood that I went and bought an Oncidium haha

You should never allow another person to determine your happiness.....Ever!

I suppose that's true...but now I need help raising this Oncidium haha It's got thin, drooping leaves. The flowers are purpleish with yellow spotting and it's petals and sepals are long and pointed. They're also larger flowers, about 2-3 inches top to bottom. I couldn't find a picture of it, but does anyone have a clue about it?

Most likely it's an oncidium intergeneric.

Don't let anyone take your love of orchids. That's a very personal thing that's only between you and the plants

Here is a link that might be useful: Oncidium Intergeneric Culture

Interesting...re "You should never allow another person to determine your happiness.....Ever!"

I must have serious issues LOL cause I allow my PLANTS to determine my happiness....plant blooms = rapture, plant dies = depression.

That is why we have the Orchids Anonymous meetings. I am powerless over my orchids and they are unmanageable.

Boyfriends come and go. Orchids are forever.

I guess this showes how much power orchids have on the universe.

As long as you spend time keeping your orchids happy, they will let the rest of your life work out.

If you neglect, the wrarth of the orchids will be upon you.

It's the wrath of the Phal God. Don't want to mess around with her!

K

I agree with what others said, orchid are one thing, relationships are another.
For me, orchids are a passion. There were times when I first started out when I got frustrated with them and lost interest. But always came back. When you see a beautiful cattleya in bloom that you grew yourself, it's intoxicating. I've been growing cattleyas for over 35 years. Since I was a kid. I'm in my late 40s now.

Guys, it's a gal thing. Sand Tiger, it's only natural (to me) that you'd associate the only orchid in your life with the beloved boyfriend who gave it to you, especially if the gift came out of one of those wonderful conversations that goes on for hours.

You're wise to buy the Dendrobium. That way, you can have your own relationship with orchids, no matter what happens with the boyfriend.

One suggestion would be to figure out the conditions you can provide orchids - temps, humidity, light - and then look for beginner orchids that *may* like those conditions. I say "may" because an orchid that's easy for one person may not be for another, and there's no explanation for it, beyond the fickle Orchid Angels.

The Ortho book on orchids is a good one to help you get started. It's usually available at Home Depot and Barnes and Noble.

Another resource is the FAQs section of this forum.

Also, when you learn the exact Den. you have, you can search the archives here for any care tips.

Hang in there. You're doing fine.

Whitecat8

Keep the orchids. I dunno about the boyfriend....

Earlier in this thread Richardol mentions the Orchids anonymous meetings, when and where are these meetings to be held again?

And will there be a plant exchange or sale table?

I had an interesting conversation with Harry at Andys Orchids recently pertaining to my growing obsession with orchids and he contends that the diagnosis of addiction is alive and well in the orchid world, and I will say that I am in agreement and heavily afflicted. He then proceeded to sell me several plants that I desperately needed. Not because I have a problem with orchids or anything though. I can stop whenever I want to. Really.

Very early in my addiction I read the book Orchid Fever (Orchid Fever: A Horticultural Tale of Love, Lust, and Lunacy: by Eric Hansen). There is a great passage in this book in which a grower at an orchid show tells the author that the craziness he is seeing is not at all uncommon and goes on to note that the dog show people have little on the orchid people with respect to eccentricities. It is much funnier in print than it looks here, especially if you have seen "Best in Show" or hang out with orchid persons.

I believe this addiction to be very sneaky and very contagious as well. Mine too started innocently enough with the acquisition of 2 blooming Phals sharing a single pot that I purchased for my wife a few years back. If only we had known or they had come with some kind of warning. I should add that I am much more impaired than my wife is with the "Orchid problem". Our collection has grown at a rather alarming rate, driven by my interest in these fascinating plants and ready access to the Internet. Mostly I purchase plants that strike my fancy and that I optimistically believe I can meet the culture needs of though several of the web vendors frequently mentioned in the forums here. Because I have all my plants delivered to my office my staff sees all of the deliveries and I have noticed that they have gone from bemused acknowledgement of my "problem" to a keen interest in orchid husbandry. To brighten my office I try to bring a few spiking plants in to enjoy as we toil. I have a Bcl that has 8 fat buds ready to pop that is getting daily visits to its little nook by everyone to check on its progress. Recently I have overheard conversations speculating on the color and form of the flower to be produced by a recently added Paph topped with a bloated purple-black bud that was ever so slowly unfolding. As a consequence of this obvious change in attitudes I fear that I am spreading this disease to those around me, sort of like a Typhoid Richard, only with orchids. Most concerning is the recent order that was opened soon after arrival by someone other than me while I was occupied elsewhere. The reason given was "so the little plants could get some air". Right. In truth I suspect that more than just myself eagerly anticipate the arrival of a new plant order. Every one here exposed to me and the orchids are now showing early signs of infection with this alarming and completely enjoyable affliction.

I hereby propose a behavioral theory to legitimize the orchid addiction and romantic relationships metaphor proposed earlier in this thread.

Obtaining new plants, maintaining established ones and raising plants from seedlings are all activities that I contend activate pathways in our brains that are involved in the feelings we experience in romantic relationships. The excitement and anticipation brought on by a flush of new growth or a flowering spike is not at all unlike the feelings associated with those experienced by some in a new relationship. The promise of what may come is what helps to nourish optimism and joy along the way. Success at meeting cultural requirements, having your plants thrive and flower all perpetuate the process of obsession by stimulating reward pathways in our orchid addled brains. At the same time having a plant sulk or be in a state of decline arouses feelings of loss and grief, perhaps even guilt very much like feelings that may be encountered in a struggling relationship, though I cannot say I have been jealous or angry or betrayed at the thought that my plants might be seeing other pollinators I do know of others that were at least irked by the outcome produced by this particular indiscretion. One unanswered part of this theory is; can one rid ones self of a partner by over watering as readily as one can a cherished orchid?

The treatment I have chosen for my addiction is to save for a green house, find a way to manage my humidity in the winter in Wisconsin, visit the websites of Olympic Orchids, AndyÂs, OHG, EooM, Cal-Orchids, NWO and others frequently to check for new plants in need of a loving home or specials too good to pass up.

When was that meeting again?

Addictions come in all genera and species. I walk outside and wonder where did all these plants come from? You mean I brought them home?? I must have been in some kind of altered state of consciousness!

We went to see that movie "Best in Show" because everyone said how funny it was. I compete in agility and used to in obedience and tracking, we didn't think it was funny at all, those people are our friends!

Suzanne

Whitecat8:

Actually, Kelly (Sandtiger86) is a guy. I'm not sure why you would just assume he's a gal.

just curious, are there more guy addicts or girl addicts, do you think? when i was buying orchids the other day, some one asked me if i was buying for my husband. of course, the person did not know that i am the addict. i should have asked him why he assumed that it was not for me.

sue

Homophobes! Totally kidding, it's quite alright. I think orchids attract a lot of men because they're a challenge and they're tropical and exotic. We all know men love challenges, and through experience, many man love the tropics...it's like programed into our genetic make-up.

I thought he was a she as well. I'm sure Whitecat doesn't mind being corrected, nor do I but we came by the assumption very easily and naturally. To argue otherwise is simply unfair. I am pretty sure there are more guy orchid addicts and there are likely more gal houseplant addicts and roughly equal numbers of outdoor garden addicts.

H

In reading the original letter I thought the writer was female (guess I was thinking in the box) and all this time I thought WC8 was a male (we both love ctsm's)---oh well no matter, I'm glad you're happy now---listen----my relationship with orchids has lasted longer that any love relationship I've ever had----married 11 and counting---orchids 27 years and counting--they don't cause me to be happy, that's my reponsibility, growing them and flowering them well is an achievement, an accomplishment, observing their beauty is looking at a work of art, on a canvas that I had a huge part in creating, they bring me joy, that's the reason I grow them. Happiness my reponsibility, joy, what I get in my relationships with others.But at least I'm in charge of the relationship--even though they do let me know what I need to do---hummm sounds more like a wife there--at least if I stop loving them they won't want my house!!!