Plant more and compare their growth!

We bought our land 4 years before we built our home. We wanted to build our dream home and were not in a hurry to rush into it and then regret decisions made too quickly. I was the designer on the project and honestly enjoyed all that it entailed. We also had a wonderful builder that made the whole process go seamlessly and stress free. After we chose a house plan and had it updated to include the must-haves on our list, I poured over those plans for hours and hours making sure each room was as ideal as possible. Now is the time to decide if you want an HVAC duct in that place or a light switch or outlet in that spot. Decide if you want floor outlets, special outlets in pantries or cleaning closets. Are the rooms the right size? Could a couple feet make a difference anywhere? I sure wish we had made our laundry room 3 feet wider. Choose as many products as you can before your builder gives you his estimate. If you want granite and he's giving you laminate pricing the cost will be more. Also, painting the interior all one color is less expensive than having several rooms painted differently. Are you going with pre-painted siding or having the exterior custom painted? Are you using brick, cultured stone or natural stone? Huge difference between brick and natural stone. Plumbing fixtures vary in price as do lighting and appliances. Make sure he's taking your choices into account with his bottom line. Think about any upgrades in insulation, soundproofing, radiant heating, etc. The best advice I can give from someone who's been there, done that, is to sit down and really think about how you want the house to look, function and feel....and cost. Are there things you can't do without? For us it was a 3rd garage, his & hers master's closets, a computer space off the kitchen area where we can monitor our son, and a particular type of kitchen layout. Break the house plan down room by room if it's overwhelming but KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. If you're unsure of that then you can be talked into a lot of stuff you will find out later you really didn't need or want. Almost all of us have to stick to a budget so the trick is getting what you want overall at a price you can afford. This website is a treasure trove of information that I'm sure will benefit you in the days to come. Good luck on your build and keep your chin up.

I was 38 yrs old and my husband was 35. We were married for almost 13 yrs and together for 18 yrs almost also. We had the best marriage anyone could ever have. We had 1 son 13 yrs. old together. We both had great jobs and a loving family. One morning I woke up, year before last, which was April 2014 to finding my husband in our house. He had past sometime during the night of a heart attack. His heart was enlarged and exploded. He was kneeling in a praying position over the side of our tub in our main bathroom. I found him at 8:35am that morning. Our son had stayed on our living room couch watching a movie that night. When I found my husband (my soulmate) I had to call my mom about 8 miles from me to tell her my husband was dead. She immediately said I will be right there. Then I had to go outside and call my neighbors 32 yr old son to come wake my son up and take him out the backdoor of my house to their house and keep him there. Then I called 911 and I told them I found my husband dead in our home and I didn't want them to show up with their sirens on or to be seen by my son that was at my neighbors house behind my house. When the police questioned me some, which is their protocol to do when something happens like that, I felt like I had done something wrong, which I totally didn't. They told me, they had to send his body for an autopsy. Well I found him on that Saturday morning and the results from autopsy came back that next Monday a few days later, saying he died of cardiomegaly. Anyways all that being said, almost 5 months later I met my friends brother and got with him and 1 month later which was almost 6 months after my husband past away, I got pregnant with a babygirl. Thats apparently what happens, when you try to fill a void in your life after such tramatic experience. My mind wasn't at all there, until I was 5 months pregnant and I told the guy sorry I can't be with you cause I don't feel right. Anyways my son was so upset saying it's dad's baby, mom. I felt so bad and still do for the additional pain I caused my son which was the only child at the time. It took until now for him to accept my babygirl. The father hasn't been around since I was 5 months pregnant. The judge knew and the attorneys what I had went through. So when I went to court when my babygirl was about 6 months old, the judge and the attorneys favored me with child custody and everything else. The guy I had the baby by, had to start spending time with my babygirl and paying me to help raise our babygirl. I felt bad for him but it took 2 to make my babygirl. Anyways anything can happen after losing your soulmate. I used to say how in the world can so and so go out so soon after there mate passes. We'll now I know. I would never judge any widow for what they do. So no one knows until they lose the love of their life what they go through. Anyways I am doing fine and I can honestly say I'm blessed to have the babygirl my husband always wanted but due to his job and health I never gave him one. My babygirl is like none else. She is the best babygirl I have ever seen. God was always there through everything and still is. So I hope yall take my advice and run with it cause you never know if your in my shoes one day and Gosh I hope not. I might add there are several phases for some with greiving. First phase I didn't know myself. Second was k was extremely mad that he left me with so much like raising our son on my own, bills and so on. 3rd was I felt alone 4th was I'm gonna have to learn how to make it with my babies. 5th one is I'm still holding on and I know what's going on some now. I'm working and striving to keep our home and food on the table for my kids. They are my world now more than anything. I'm blessed as I could of really went off the deep end and at times I did but my family and friends helped me so much to get by. So it's different with every spouse whom had lost there lover and soulmate.

Hi Kat, Getting the chance to jump in and add my well wishes as well!! Hope you got through your first day all right. Keep hanging in there! Looking forward to having you back here at the table. In the meantime your nurses will have to put up with your wacky sense of humour! LOL Take care and take your meds.