LEAVE IT ALONE .... reds bloom first.. and you say the local ones havent bloomed yet.. so how do you come to the conclusion yours isnt alive ...???? it would not surprise me if yours does not bloom .. due to transplant stress so all you are left with is to wait until others leaf out.. and see if yours does ... of what good would scratching the bark do.. if no other trees have leafed out???? wherever you read .. that timing of transplant is not important.. try not to go there for further info ... but regardless of that.. oct was perfect timing ... we move trees w/o leaves.. or just prior to leaf loss ... it is possible .. and if it is not grafted.. that it can die to the ground and still recover.. plain old RB are not that foo foo .... you are way to anxious.. and way to early.. to be doing anything about it.. other than perhaps trying to kill it with too much move ... give it a month.. let us know .. ken

We have a blanket of white this AM, but like was mentioned it probably will not stick around...supposed to warm up later in the week and this kind of snow will insulate until then, "hopefully", LOL. davej_07, I too wonder why I visit this site or offer up any "voice" because if it is not the way of the "experts" you get shot down, LOL. But then I remind myself that we have the right to do things differently then the next person...knowing and believing that our way works just fine for us. I too live with oak leaves and unless you have the ability to grind them up, they would not break down in what is left of my life time! So yes, I too rake them off my beds and my husband burns them...I do get ground up leaves and grass from the neighbor (who has totally different trees then I do), compost them and add that to my soil...my hostas do well and this WORKS FOR ME!! But then I do not profess to be an expert just someone who has gardened for years and loves it. Have a good summer, Vicki

I second what mizscarlett said. PTSD or even TSD is a very real thing that happens to many people, not just soldiers. Arcy- I understand why you wrote what you did, it is the common stance of the general public to abused and battered persons; I used to feel much the same. BUT....unless you have lived through it yourself and had the same crushing emotions, guilt, worthlessness and self loathing that these people have experienced from years of emotional abuse, you really are in no place to judge. It is easy to view as an outsider and say, "you should have just left", it is FAR more difficult to do when you've been, slowly over time, made to live in fear for your life and the lives of those you love or been made to believe that you are, in fact, worthless. The worst damage people like OPs husband do isn't physical, it's emotional and mental. Her mother was willing to pay for the divorce but she was so worried for her mother's safety from this lunatic that she was willing to endure additional abuse to keep her mother safe. You berating her for something she already regrets is simply blaming the victim and encourages other people to NOT come forward. Many people who are abused (not saying this is necessarily the OPs stance) state that their abuser is quite charming at first, a "catch". Slowly, over time the verbal and emotional abuse escalates but they still say, "s/he's so great, and they've never hurt me!". Then the first time comes and they are physically abused. They are so shocked that it happened and "it's never happened before" that they write it off. It happens again, a few months go by and it happens again...and again....and again. At this point it is happening at an alarming frequency but by this point, the battered person is so broken, so ashamed at not recognizing what was initially happening, that they stay silent. The victim blames themself. THEN, in worst case scenarios, they begin to actually believe what the abuser says. They believe they deserve this. They believe they messed up, believe they are worthless, believe they are at fault. Frankly, as much as I want to judge and blame someone for their past mistakes, I can NOT sit by and blame a battered person for their poor decisions regarding their abuser. It's not right and it's not fair. msgenie- you've been given some great advice already. The only thing I can add to it is that you've already given him power and control over 50 years of your life. He is gone now and you can finally live. Try to NOT let his ghost take any more of your life from you. You only get one life, one chance at this big game; make it count. Regret nothing, learn from it.

Mama, I've been going back an forth on the prep sink ... not really wanting to disrupt that stretch of work space. Do you think it's a must, in this plan? As for the fridge, it will be a SZ single door, fridge over freezer. I like the bookshelves, too, and am hoping to make it a pull out to expose a hidden broom closet. (Oh, and the aisle dimensions are counter to counter.) Benjesbride, the front room will become the DR, but could always revert back to a LR for future occupants. Because of all of the windows, I'm exposed to all of my neighbors who walk or drive by -- makes it impossible to hang out in my jammies on a lazy day! I also want to keep a formal DR, so this space suits my needs well. I'm eliminating a separate LR and making it part of the K. I have a rather large FR a few steps down for overflow.